Sophie's Secret

  The call went straight to her voice mail. My only other option was AJ. Even though I was mad at her, I had to vent to someone.

  I dialed her number.

  “What’s up?” AJ sounded annoyed. I knew she knew it was me calling because all of the phones in her house had Caller ID.

  “Hey,” I blurted. “Chad’s a butt munch.”

  “So tell me something I don’t know,” AJ retorted.

  I was so furious, complaints started spewing from my mouth. “He hasn’t even bothered to look for a job. He played video games all day while my mom spent money on his baby.”

  “Pathetic.”

  AJ’s reaction wasn’t what I expected. She almost sounded bored. Probably just my imagination.

  “Yeah,” I sighed in frustration. “What a bum.”

  “Sounds like another guy I know.” AJ’s tone was definitely on the rude side.

  “Let me guess,” I said sarcastically. I knew where she was going with this. “You’re talking about Jacob.”

  “You’re as blind as your sister when it comes to guys.” AJ paused before groaning. “Just think, this could be you and Jacob in four years.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “I’m not trying to be funny,” AJ snapped. “Your sister doesn’t have taste in guys and neither do you. You’re both too stupid to admit it.”

  “I gotta go.” Her PMS had pushed my temper past the limit.

  “Fine,” She fumed. “Don’t listen to a friend.”

  I yelled into the phone. “Friends don’t call each other stupid.”

  “Whatever.” AJ’s sarcastic tone was the same way she spoke to her mother. “Throw your life away then.”

  “I’m not throwing my life away.” I could feel my throat tighten as I tried to hold back tears. “I haven’t even gotten Jacob to notice me.”

  “I don’t understand.” AJ growled, set down the phone, swore loudly and then picked the receiver up again. “You want to be cool so Jacob will like you, Sophie. Cheating for him isn’t cool. Try not letting him walk all over you, that’s cool.”

  “Look, I gotta go.” An aggravated laugh escaped my lips. “Thanks for cheering me up.” I threw my cell across the room, hoping it would make me feel better. It didn’t.

  How could she say such things about Jacob? Just because he liked video games, just because he wasn’t great at sports and didn’t like to read, didn’t mean he’d end up like Chad. Besides, he had to be the one. He was fat once, just like me. He was the only guy who’d understand me. Not like Frankie. That boy was born perfect. He’d never take a former fatty seriously. Even if he really did like me, one day he’d wake up and remember the former me. He’d find my seventh grade yearbook picture and he’d move on to a new groupie.

  I fell onto my bed and closed my eyes. Maybe after our novel unit was over, Jacob would pay more attention in class. Maybe if I could prove to him I was cool, he might even forget his video game and pay more attention to me. Because that’s what I wanted, right? A nagging little voice in the back of my conscience whispered AJ was right, but I didn’t want to listen. I was destined for Jacob, because…well, I just wasn’t good enough for Frankie.

  Chapter Ten

  The Scarlet letter—would the torture ever end? I thought Huck Finn was bad. The only amusing part in reading this new novel was when Cody Miller taped a big fat crimson “B” on Dallin’s back.

  Dallin didn’t even notice. He was too busy picking his nose.

  We had finished Huck a few weeks ago and now we were starting chapter four of this interminable book. We’d had a couple of pop quizzes but so far Jacob still hadn’t graded a single one of my tests. We’d passed them to the left, to the right, and backward, but never forward. Jacob had lucked out two more times since I’d first graded his test. I didn’t like cheating for him, but I had no choice if I was to follow through with my plan.

  The ironic thing was this whole plan to see if Jacob cared for me was starting not to matter. I had intentionally missed several questions on the last three tests. After I’d brought home a C on my progress report, I decided enough was enough.

  Although I was hesitant to admit it, the disappointed look on my parents’ faces wasn’t the only reason I chose to ace all future tests. Frankie had graded my tests twice. He must have thought I was stupid at math and in English. Not that his opinion mattered that much.

  I had just finished answering the last question on my quiz when Dallin told us to pass our tests to the back.

  Jacob handed me his test and his pen, giving me a sly wink. He didn’t even say anything. It was like he expected, no demanded, and ‘A’ from me now. Suddenly, his cute ears weren’t so cute anymore. They were too small and starting to annoy me.

  I reluctantly took his test and his pen.

  I remembered AJ’s harsh words from the argument we had on the phone. “Cheating for him isn’t cool. Try not letting him walk all over you, that’s cool.”

  I had been thinking about those words all day—while I was ignoring her on the bus ride to school, while she was ignoring me in algebra, while we both ignored each other at lunch. I thought of little else. AJ could be a real pain in the butt sometimes, but she was my best friend. Was I wrong to completely ignore her advice?

  Mr. Dallin perched himself on top of a wobbly stool, ready to call out answers.

  Without a second to spare, I reacted quickly. “Here, I don’t need this.” I handed Jacob his pen and took out my own pink pen—bright enough to emphasize any glaring mistakes.

  Jacob’s eyes widened, and then narrowed, as he snatched his pen from my hand.

  I smiled back while keeping my cool. I could hear Frankie’s muffled laughter beside me.

  By the time grading was over, Jacob had a D minus and I had some of my self-respect back. Jacob was pissed, but to quote Frankie, “He’ll get over it.”

  I left a little note on his test, too. “Jacob, put away the video game and study harder.” I thought I saw steam shooting out of his puny ears when he was reading it.

  ****

  “I hope this game doesn’t run into overtime.” Lara leaned her chin on the body of her camera, while her knee settled against her monopod. She looked the part of a professional photographer. She even wore a photo vest.

  “Why?” I wondered. “It’s just getting fun.”

  We were in the middle of the fourth quarter. Frankie had just scored a touchdown and the crowd was pumped. I got lots of great shots of screaming fans. Lara caught Frankie just as he made the touchdown. I would get Lara to send me a copy of that picture later.

  “Yeah,” she looked up and frowned. “But we’re losing the good light and this camera doesn’t take the best night shots.” Lara reached into her bag and retrieved some ancient relic that looked like a camera. “My K-1000 won’t fail me.”

  “How do you use it?”

  She smiled. “It runs on this weird fuel called film.” She grabbed a roll of film out of her bag and started to manually wind the film into the camera. It looked complicated.

  “I’ll stick with the digital camera.” I patted my Digital Rebel, my baby, actually Mrs. Carr’s baby. She practically made me sign in blood that I would protect it with my life.

  “Stay here while I go to the fifty yard line.” Lara gathered up her gear and started to walk away.

  “But what if someone makes a touchdown?” I felt uneasy by myself. I was still new at this.

  “Then take the shot,” she called back.

  “What if I mess up?” I squeezed the leather straps on my camera, trying to calm my fears. Lara had never left me alone to take pictures. What if something bad happened?

  Lara walked toward me and put her hand on my shoulder. “There will be plenty more touchdowns. You have no confidence in yourself, Sophie. Your pictures have been coming out great. You’re a natural.”

  I hadn’t received a compliment like that in a long time. My chest swelled up with pride. “Really? A natural?”

  “
I don’t lie.” As Lara headed back to the fifty-yard-line, she called over her shoulder. “Not when it comes to photography. Remember, follow the ball, not the players, if you want the best shot. Believe me, wherever that ball goes, they’ll go too.”

  “Gotcha,” I yelled.

  I looked through the LCD, poised, focused, and ready. I was going to get that picture of Frankie Salas, or whoever, making the touchdown. It was going to be so awesome; Mrs. Carr would want to put it on the cover of the yearbook.

  I heard someone yell, “Look out,” but I was in the photo zone, too focused to pay attention to anything else but that pigskin.

  Hey, where’d it go? I had the ball in focus just a minute ago.

  Thunk.

  ****

  “Sophie, you okay?”

  Was this a dream? I opened my eyes to the sight of Frankie standing over me. Although my vision was a bit fuzzy, I could still make out his beautiful tanned skin and I couldn’t mistake his deep voice. I tried to sit up, when I was suddenly struck by a dizzying sensation. The room shook and I fell back against soft padding.

  “W…what happened?” The entire left side of my face felt like it had been run over by a steamroller.

  “Don’t try to get up.” Frankie sat by my side and put an icepack on my left eye. “You got hit by the ball.”

  “Did I? I didn’t remember. I recalled looking for the ball through my view finder. Oh, God. The camera! Mrs. Carr would have my head on a platter. “Is the camera okay?”

  Frankie laughed. “Yeah, it’s okay.”

  “I’ve got it, Sophie.” I heard Lara in the background, but I couldn’t see her.

  “Where am I?” I touched a hand to my sore cheek and breathed deeply. Wherever I was, the place reeked of musty body odor.

  “Lying on a cot at the field house.” Frankie grabbed my hand and placed it over the icepack.

  As dizzy as I was, I still felt the electrifying shock of his skin against mine. “Who won?”

  “We’re in a time-out.” He slowly withdrew his hand.

  I immediately missed his touch. “I…it’s not because of me, is it?”

  “Yep.” Frankie smiled sympathetically.

  I wanted to crawl inside a hole and not come out for at least fifty years. “I feel so stupid. How long have I been out?”

  “Only a few minutes.” A masculine voice came from the other side of my cot.

  I tried to turn my head to make out his figure, but my neck was too stiff.

  “Is she going to be okay, Schotts?” Frankie asked.

  I recognized that name. Schotts was the team medic. Now I felt really dumb. He should have been with the team, not me.

  “Yeah,” Schotts said. “Her mom still needs to get her an x-ray.”

  Frankie looked down at me, and even through my blurry vision, I could see pity pooling in his huge brown eyes. “Guess that means you’ll miss the rest of the game.”

  My heart felt like it was sinking into a hole, covered by the sludge of humiliation and self-loathing. I didn’t want Frankie’s pity. Why did this have to happen to me?

  The deep sound of a masculine voice clearing his throat reminded me Frankie wasn’t the only person in the room sharing in my shame.

  “Listen, I have to get back. Robbins twisted his ankle before Sophie was knocked out.” Schotts squeezed my shoulder. “You mom’s coming to pick you up.” He walked toward the door and nodded to the corner of the room. “Are you staying with her until her mom comes?”

  “Of course.” I heard Lara’s clipped voice as she crossed over to my cot.

  “Come on, Frankie. You need to get back in the game,” Schotts said.

  Frankie stood. “See ya later, Sophie.”

  “Thanks, Frankie.” I called, as his blurred figure moved out of vision.

  “No problem.” His voice was still near. “Frankie?” My dizziness was fading, so I sat up halfway, trying to catch him before he left.

  “Yeah?”

  Through my one good eye, I could see his dark form standing by the open door. “Good luck tonight.” I tried to smile, but my face hurt too much.

  He looked at his feet, and then turned his gaze outside. “Thanks.”

  I sighed as I heard the door shut. Frankie couldn’t even look at me. What did he think of me? Probably what everybody else thought. I was never going to live this one down. I would have rather been labeled the fat dork than the village idiot.

  “Lara,” I sank into the cot. “I feel like such a loser.”

  She sighed. “I think the whole thing is romantic.”

  “What are you talking about?” I turned on my side to face her. The girl was crazy.

  “Frankie has the hots for you. He was the first one to get to you when you were hit.”

  The giddy sensation in my head was returning, but I didn’t think it was because of the hit. “You’re lying.”

  “No, I’m not,” she nudged my ribs. “Coach got mad at him for leaving the field, but he carried you here.”

  I felt chills rush through my body. Frankie carried me! Why would he want to do that? “Okay, now you’re really full of it.”

  “Think what you want,” she shrugged, “but I’m sure you’ll hear it around school on Monday.”

  “Oh, God, I’m going to be the laughing stock of Greenwood. I feel like crap and I bet I look like crap, too.”

  Lara looked at me and cringed. Her expression confirmed my worst fears.

  She carefully removed my icepack. “It’s mostly your eye.”

  “Get me a mirror.”

  Lara squeezed my hand. “I don’t think you want me to do that.”

  I squeezed back. “Please. I need to know if I look as stupid as I feel.”

  Lara grabbed a compact out of her purse. She cringed as she slowly handed me the mirror.

  The reflection took me by complete surprise.

  My right side looked perfectly normal. The left side of my face looked like a reddened, five hundred pound troll.

  Lara drew back, biting her lip. “Not bad,” I said.

  She slowly exhaled. “I’m glad you’re taking this well.”

  “Of course.” I tried to smile, although the action hurt my eye which felt like it was caving in on itself. “All I need to do is find another giant pink ogre who thinks this face isn’t ugly.”

  Lara threw back her head and laughed. “I’m sorry, Sophie. I know this isn’t funny but I’m glad you can still make jokes.”

  “At least now Jacob might notice me.”

  That comment didn’t seem to sit well with Lara. She glared and then shook her head. “You shouldn’t worry what someone like Jacob Flushman thinks of you.”

  I leaned on my elbows and sharpened my gaze. “What do you know about him I don’t know?”

  Lara put down her head and turned from me. “Listen, there’s something you should know about Jacob.”

  “Can you help me? I’m looking for Sophie, Sophie Sinora.”

  I recognized the sound of my mom’s panicked voice.

  “I’m here, Mom.” I called, and instantly regretted the sound of my own voice as it echoed in my throbbing skull.

  “Oh, thank goodness. Are you okay, sweetie?” Mom rushed up to me, then jumped back when she looked at my face. “Oh, my baby!”

  “Try to calm down, dear. She’ll be okay.” My dad stood behind my mom, placing his hands on her shoulders. He shook his head and winked at me.

  I understood Dad’s message. Mom panicked easily whenever my sisters or I got hurt. Trying to ignore the pain in my face, I put up a front to calm my mom. “It’s not as bad as it looks, Mom.”

  Mom’s jaw twitched and she placed her hands on her hips. “We’re going to the hospital.”

  “See you later, Sophie. I’ve got your camera.” Lara waved as she walked out the door.

  I hardly noticed she was leaving. Lara and I left some unspoken words. I feared what she was trying to tell me and was somewhat relieved my parents showed up. Was I being selfi
sh not to want to hear it? Lara had proven to be a good friend and mentor. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have found an interest in photography. With the exception of the one incident tonight, I thought I had actually found something I was good at. Lara taught me how to make yearbook pages, develop pictures, and she listened to me complain about Summer.

  What had Jacob ever done for me?

  Chapter Eleven

  Humiliation was exhausting. I had hoped my parents would drive me home, so I could crawl under my covers and die. Instead, they took me to the emergency room. My dad stayed at the hospital only long enough to convince my mom I wasn’t going to fall down with uncontrollable seizures and foam at the mouth. He had a business trip the next morning, so I didn’t mind when he called Chad for a ride. My mom and I waited five hours for the doctor to tell us I had a black eye and a bump on my head.

  As we walked to the car, I tapped my cell phone to check the time. One fifteen a.m. and three texts, plus a missed message, all from AJ. I remembered I had turned off the volume on my phone, so I wouldn’t be distracted during the game. A whole lot of good that did.

  The texts were from AJ telling me to call her. I played to her message. AJ sounded like she was clearing her throat. After a long pause, she finally spoke. “Hey, it’s AJ. Look, I’m sorry I’ve been such a butthead lately. I’ve been having a really bad time with my mother and I’m taking it out on everyone else.

  “I know you like Jacob. I know you think I hate him, but the truth is I don’t want to see you getting hurt. He’s not the one for you, Sophie. You don’t need to be gifted to see his future is going nowhere. And I think you know it, too.”

  I could hear AJ take a deep breath before continuing. “There’s something else, too. Something I haven’t told anyone…I’m not mad at you because you’re learning how to control your gift. The truth is I’m getting better at it, too. It scares me, Sophie. I don’t want us to get better. I might not want to know what’s going to happen next. What if it’s bad? What if I’m going to die tomorrow? Or someone I care about?”

  “Anyway, call me back when you get this message. I’ll be in my room. I’m grounded this weekend, or at least until tomorrow.”

  My shoulders slumped against the car door as I thought about AJ’s confession. I was not alone.