The Voice

said “about yourself.”

  To Connor, this wasn’t about understanding what was going on inside himself, this was about understanding things on the outside.

  “I didn’t just take your dad because he was special. I took your dad because you are special, Connor.”

  “Huh?” Connor said this out loud before he realized it and quickly covered his mouth.

 

  He looked over at his sister who rolled over in her bed at the sound.

  “You are special, Connor.”

  “I’m special?” Connor asked.

  “You are a boy, Connor, but you are special because of a word called potential. Do you know what that word means?”

  “I think so,” Connor said. He had heard it used by sportscasters, usually saying someone hadn’t lived up to their potential as an athlete.

  “Well, you were already special before I took your dad, but you’re even more so now because, while you still have a dad, he’s up here in heaven with me and you can’t access him directly.”

  Connor thought about this. It’s exactly what he didn’t like about the situation: no more joking around or playing with his dad.

  God knew this would take some more explaining, so He continued:

  “Life is full of challenges, but you’re pretty smart. It’s up to you to use those smarts to overcome life’s challenges.”

  Connor nodded. “I am pretty smart.”

  “If you can overcome this one very big challenge–me taking your dad–not only will you be even smarter, but you’ll also be able to lead other people. You’re what I call a leader.”

  “I’m a leader?” Connor asked.

  “Right now, you’re angry at me, but if you can let go of anger and realize for one second where the opportunity lay, you might also realize that I took something away to give you an experience from where it’ll be easier to help others through leadership throughout the rest of life.”

  Connor was a little surprised to hear that God knew he was angry and he didn’t want to feel that way towards God or his dad. Maybe this was a way out.

  “While your dad’s passing is challenging, you’ll find that every challenge comes with an opportunity. In fact, it’s the ability to see opportunities that makes a leader.”

  “But I just want my dad back.” said Connor. He wanted his dad to come back and play with him like he used to.

  He knew that wasn’t going to happen, but it felt like God knew what he was talking about. God is pretty smart after all.

  “You don’t have to understand now, Connor. You just have to think about it. You’ll know what to do and when to do it if you just trust in yourself and keep your faith in me.”

  “I can try,” Connor said.

  “That’s all I ever ask, Connor.”

  God looked over and smiled at Tim, knowing what a good leader Connor would make.

  Tim was so proud. Light spilled out of his being and the other angels stepped back with admiration.

  “Connor is a good boy,” Tim thought. “A leader.”

  “I know he’ll also use those skills to help his Mom and take special care to be nice to his sister, Caitlin.”

  Now that Tim was not in their lives physically, Connor would have to look out for his sister even more so than he already did.

  “Connor, are you there? Can you hear me?” God asked.

  The angels laughed at this, including Tim.

  Connor laughed a little too, because how could he not hear God when it felt like one of those cars “pumping the bass.” It was surprising that his sister Caitlin wasn’t waking up.

  “I can hear you, loud and clear,” Connor said.

  “Okay, now I want to talk to you about praying and why I don’t respond directly like this, like “pumping the bass,” on a regular basis. Are you ready?”

  “Yes, I’m ready,” Connor replied.

  “There are two reasons. One, you are meant to get something from prayer, but not like in real life. Being demanding is the opposite of what to do while praying.”

  “Being demanding is the easy way out in life as well, like cutting a corner when running around a square field. It’s a cheat and cheating does not work up here.”

  “Getting something from prayer, on the other hand, takes patience and focus.”

  “That’s why prayer is done in quiet places. It’s meant to quiet the mind, like a pool of still water.”

  “The gift of prayer is a still mind, one that is not easily distracted. Do you understand?”

  “I think so,” Connor replied.

  “Well, if you can train your mind and focus, emotions will come and go, leaving you feeling more free and enabling better leadership. So, when praying, focus on the stillness. Bring the mind to rest and breathe.”

  “Like the wind?” asked Connor.

  “Yes, like the wind. When you pray and breathe and bring your mind to stillness it allows me to communicate in a different way. A quiet mind is more perceptive and stillness is like an empty room inside of you where we can both go to connect, but it requires a lot of practice to get there.”

  “My mom likes for me to keep my room clean,” Connor replied.

  “That’s it Connor. Making your mind still is like cleaning your room. Without the clutter it’s easier to get around and to notice when something’s out of place.”

  “But it’s really hard to do,” Connor said.

  “I know it is and so is praying, but if you try harder, it will come easier. Can you do something for me?” God asked.

  “I think so,” said Connor.

  “In your life, I want you to study the idea of prayer and find out why so many people do it every day. Find out what it is for and you will unlock the benefits of prayer and that will make you a better leader. Can you try to do that?”

  “I can try,” Connor responded.

  “Alright, then I have something else for you.”

  Connor felt God’s tone shift. It felt closer, like someone whispering in his ear.

  “The stillness allows you to let go of feelings like anger. And when you let go of feelings like that, it creates space. Within that space is the place where I live. Do you understand?”

  “No. Not really,” Connor admitted.

  “It’s okay if you don’t understand right now. I just want you to know that that place exists and you can go there when you feel uncomfortable. That’s the place where you’ll find the answers through prayer and faith.”

  “Okay.”

  “Stillness is also the place where your dad can come to visit. You’ll feel his spirit inside you. The glowing light of his new life as an angel will fill you up.”

  “It’s through stillness that we communicate and that’s the important thing to take away from our conversation.”

  Does that make sense?”

  “I think so,” Connor replied.

  “One more thing, Connor.”

  “Yes, God.”

  “You really need to clean your room. It looks like a pig sty.”

  Connor laughed out loud and covered his mouth because he could tell God was making fun. He did his best not to wake his sister.

  Tim and the angels also laughed. God had a pretty good sense of humor.

  “Okay. Great. So, we’re all on the same page now,” God said. “I have to go because I think I hear Michael Feeney praying for the Pittsburgh Steelers to win this year’s Superbowl...again”

  (Michael Feeney was a cousin of Tim’s who was really into football).

  But Connor didn’t want God to go. He was there, right now, with his dad. It was the closest he’d been to feeling comforted for a while now.

  He had so many questions still, but knew there was a limited window before God was out of there.

  But he also knew that being demanding was like cheating, so he asked politely:

  “Um God, can I... can ask you two more things?”

  “Okay. Go ahead,” God’s voice boomed.

  “Can you please tell my dad I l
ove him?”

  “Yes, Connor,” God looked over at Tim and saw how brightly Tim was glowing. God knew what this meant and hoped that one day soon, Connor would experience what it meant to be filled with that light, if he could find the stillness.

  “He can hear you, loud and clear, Connor. You can tell him you him so every day. Also, I can tell you right now your dad loves you very much, and he always will.”

  God’s words made Connor feel good inside, almost like some of that light had gotten inside.

  He started to think about the stillness and how that would work.

  “Okay, Connor, I really have to go now,” God said.

  “But you promised and I just have one more question,” Connor pleaded, his selfish side starting to get the best of him.

  “Okay, but hurry,” God said, knowing full well what the question would be.

  Connor hesitated, but he couldn’t stop himself, “Can you make the Detroit Lions win the Superbowl this year?”

  God looked over to Tim who couldn’t do anything but shrug his shoulders.

  Connor knew maybe he was cheating, but he really liked the Lions.

  God thought it over, surely there could be no harm in responding. It was tiresome though. He got so many of these.

  God took a deep breath and said:

  “With the addition of Reggie Bush, if Stafford can