Martin

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  ‘Come on sleepyhead, it’s time for your breakfast,’ Caroline called as I gradually came out of my slumber. It suddenly got very bright. She had pulled back the curtains to let the sun stream in across the bedroom. How thoughtful of her.

  I let the duvet fall from my face and slowly opened my eyes to see Caroline doing something at the dressing table. ‘Morning, what time is it?’ I asked.

  ‘Half past eight and if you remember, you did say that you would have breakfast with me.’ As she left the room I heard her shout out, ‘Breakfast on the table in five minutes.’

  After getting myself out of bed, I then made my way down to the table. ‘Morning, sleep well?’

  She came over and kissed me on the cheek. ‘Like a baby darling, and how’s you? You’re looking a lot brighter than you did yesterday. Feeling better are we?’

  I sat down at the table. Yesterday? Yes that was certainly one hell of a day, and until Caroline had reminded me just then, I had not even thought about it. Now that did make me feel pretty damn good, as today felt just like a normal day.

  ‘Yes, I must admit I did feel a bit off yesterday. I can’t really explain it, but I’m just fine now and your coffee smells great. What a way to start the day!’

  As we started to eat our breakfast I noticed the magazines that I had bought yesterday were still on the dining table. I pulled one of them over to me and started to aimlessly flick through the pages.

  ‘I saw those this morning,’ said Caroline as she poured our coffee. ‘Since when have you been interested in classic cars?’

  ‘I’m not, but it’s a funny thing you know…,’ I was not really sure how to finish answering her. ‘…just yesterday when I was washing the car, it just occurred to me that a sports car, you know one of those older ones, would be nice.’ I paused for a couple of moments before adding, ‘I’m not saying that I think we should go and buy one. I just want to look into it, that’s all.’

  I could see Caroline smirking slightly before saying, ‘Whatever you say Martin. So come on then, what have you decided to get?’

  ‘No, it’s not like that. In fact this is the first time that I’ve looked at these mags since I bought them home yesterday. No really, I’m just looking, that’s all. Anyway, you know me Caroline, when it comes to cars you probably know a lot more about them than I do!’

  As we had been talking I was continuing to flick through the pages, even though I was not really paying any real attention to what I was looking at. Then, one of the pages I had just passed suddenly caught my eye and I quickly returned to it. I opened the page fully and was stunned by what I saw. I could feel the hair on my neck rising and my pulse was starting to quicken. I looked at the car and then at its number plate. It was such a shock; it was as if I had been smacked across the face.

  ‘Caroline look, look that’s my car!’ I shouted out as I pointed at the picture in front of me. ‘That’s my car, what’s it doing there – in the magazine?’

  ‘Martin, all you have to say to me is, ‘This is the car that I would like, not…’

  I did not let her finish. ‘No no you don’t understand. Look it’s that beautiful white Lotus Esprit S1 and it has the registration TOL 006. It’s the same one that was first tested by Motor Magazine when I was a kid. It’s what got me so fanatical about Lotus cars. Caroline, that’s why I bought that car. I can remember it all like it was only yesterday. Trying to trace the car, the negotiations, finally buying it, and then actually driving it home. What a car! So what is it…’

  I was unable to finish as at the top of her voice she screamed at me, ‘Martin for God’s sake, what the hell are you talking about?’

  I looked up to see her bemused and frightened face and suddenly it was like my mind snapping out of a dream. I looked down at the picture. The car still looked very familiar and although deep down I somehow felt that not only did I know every detail about this car, but also that I had owned it, I knew that to be impossible. I knew that not only had I never seen that car before, but also up until just now, I did not even know what a Lotus Esprit looked like. But I sure as hell did now. In fact I knew everything about its technical specifications, everything. I even knew how it was made, where it was made and who the designer was. How could that be possible? My heart was now really pounding. What was happening to me? I quickly closed the magazine and looked at Caroline. Whatever I was going to say had better be good. I could see that she was now beginning to look very frightened. I could not blame her. It wasn’t just her who was frightened, and I now struggled for something to say.

  ‘I’m sorry Caroline I…I shouldn’t have gone off like that. It’s just that…that car, the Lotus Esprit, when I saw it there just now, it looked so beautiful - all I could think of was that I wanted it. I can’t really explain it, it’s just…’

  ‘It’s just that you seem to be getting weirder by the day, that’s what. For God’s sake, you’re really starting to scare me now, you know that? It’s like I don’t know who you are anymore,’ and with that she stormed out of the kitchen.

  I sat there, just staring out of the window for a few minutes, trying to comprehend what was going on with me. Was I in need of some sort of professional help? Was I experiencing some sort of weird split personality, or even schizophrenia? I really had no answers and did not know where to begin. All I knew for sure was that I felt just fine two days ago. However, ever since yesterday it was as if there was something constantly gnawing away at my subconscious. I could not explain it to myself, so where in the world would I begin, were I to try to explain it to somebody else?

  I finished my breakfast and put the magazines to one side, deciding that it was best to keep well clear of them for now. I was in the process of cleaning up the kitchen when Caroline came back in. ‘Martin, I’m going now, I know it’s early but I’m not going to stay here any longer than I have to. Please try to at least act normal when I come home.’ She turned and was gone. I heard the front door slam shut.

  I got myself showered and ready for the day. I had been really looking forward to today; it was supposed to be pleasantly relaxing. However, yet again I found myself questioning my own sanity. This was a bloody great way to start the day!

  I spent the next couple of hours pottering around the garden, hoping that I would be able to take my restless mind off all of the recent strange events. However, unlike yesterday, I found that my newfound interest in gardening was in no way going to help me today. Feeling defeated, I got myself a beer from the fridge and took it to the recliner in the back garden. I had only been sitting down for a couple of minutes when I made up my mind that it would be better for me to face up to my demons now, and maybe that would help me to make any sense of what was happening to me. After all, if I could not sort myself out over the next few hours, just what would I be like tonight? I was only too aware that my actions this morning had been very weird and out of character. If my actions had been very disturbing and upsetting to Caroline, what on earth would the three of them make of it all tonight?

  I determined to go and get both of the magazines to read; this time I would read them thoroughly from cover to cover. I also got myself another beer. I started with the magazine that I had yet to look at and slowly made my way through. It was pretty boring stuff really, and it was starting to make me feel sleepy, or was it the beer? I did not really care, as I was again starting to feel a lot more relaxed than I was earlier. If nothing else, that had got to be a good sign.

  I finished the first magazine and let it drop to the grass. I then closed my eyes. I may have been tired and more relaxed, but my mind stubbornly kept focusing on all of the bizarre things that had continually been happening to me. I had to admit to myself that it was getting to the point where I did not really trust myself in anything that I was yet to do - fearful of what new horrible experience may occur. I could feel my confidence disappearing as quickly as my beer was.

  I picked up the other magazine with some trepid
ation, but I knew that I must read it, no matter what. I had read about a third of the way into it when I once again came across the article entitled ‘A Lotus in Blossom.’ The moment I saw the car in the picture, the weird and strange thoughts came flooding back – with a vengeance. As I read into the article, I started to get the feeling that it was me, and not John bloody Harper – whoever he was, that had actually written it. It was as though I knew what the author was going to say next before I had even read it. Once again I had this overwhelming sensation that this car was mine – it belonged to me.

  I closed the magazine and let it drop onto the grass. I started on another beer and sighed to myself. This was getting me absolutely nowhere except only to reinforce my bewilderment. What was I to do? I took another sip of beer and reclined the chair fully, put on my sunglasses and closed my eyes.

  I was definitely feeling very tired now and my mind started to think about my, no - not my, but the white Lotus in the driveway. I realised that the more I concentrated on the Lotus, the more I could see of the driveway that it was in sitting in. Not only that, but I could also see more of the surroundings which now took in the garden as well as a house. In fact the more I concentrated on this scene, the more it seemed that all of this was mine, not just the car.

  It’s funny, confusing as this all was, I was actually beginning to enjoy this, this madness or whatever it was. This was all like some sort of a strange adventure and I really had no idea of where it was going to take me next. However, as I tried to focus even harder onto the detail of this strange but familiar scene, I could now feel myself starting to fall off to sleep.

  * * * * * * *

  ‘Martin? Are you with us yet? Martin, try to open your eyes…’

  Chapter Two

  One month earlier