Titus Andronicus & Timon of Athens
Engenders the black toad192 and adder blue,
The gilded newt and eyeless venomed worm,193
With all th'abhorred births below crisp194 heaven
Whereon Hyperion's quick'ning195 fire doth shine --
Yield him, who all thy human sons do hate,
From forth thy plenteous bosom one poor root.
Ensear thy fertile and conceptious198 womb:
Let it no more bring out ingrateful man.
Go great200 with tigers, dragons, wolves, and bears,
Teem with new monsters whom thy upward face
Hath to the marbled mansion all above202
Finds a root
Never presented! O, a root. Dear thanks!
Dry up thy marrows, vines, and plough-torn leas,204
Whereof ingrateful man, with liquorish draughts205
And morsels unctuous206 greases his pure mind,
That from it all consideration207 slips!
Enter Apemantus
More man? Plague, plague!
APEMANTUS I was directed hither. Men report
Thou dost affect210 my manners, and dost use them.
TIMON 'Tis then because thou dost not keep a dog,
Whom I would imitate. Consumption catch212 thee!
APEMANTUS This is in thee a nature but infected,213
A poor unmanly melancholy sprung
From change of fortune. Why this spade? This place?
This slave-like habit? And these looks of care?216
Thy flatterers yet wear silk, drink wine, lie soft,217
Hug their diseased perfumes218, and have forgot
That ever Timon was. Shame not these woods
By putting on the cunning of a carper.220
Be thou a flatterer now, and seek to thrive
By that which has undone thee; hinge thy knee222
And let his very breath whom thou'lt observe223
Blow off thy cap: praise his most vicious strain,224
And call it excellent. Thou wast told thus:225
Thou gav'st thine ears, like tapsters226 that bade welcome,
To knaves and all approachers. 'Tis most just
That thou turn rascal:228 hadst thou wealth again,
Rascals should have't. Do not assume my likeness.
TIMON Were I like thee, I'd throw away myself.
APEMANTUS Thou hast cast away thyself being like thyself:
A madman so long, now a fool. What, think'st
That the bleak air, thy boisterous chamberlain,233
Will put thy shirt on warm234? Will these moist trees
That have outlived the eagle page thy heels235
And skip when thou point'st out236? Will the cold brook,
Candied with ice, caudle thy morning taste237
To cure thy o'ernight's surfeit238? Call the creatures
Whose naked natures live in all the spite
Of wreakful heaven, whose bare unhoused trunks240
To the conflicting elements exposed
Answer mere242 nature: bid them flatter thee.
O, thou shalt find--
TIMON --a fool of thee. Depart.
APEMANTUS I love thee better now than e'er I did.
TIMON I hate thee worse.
APEMANTUS Why?
TIMON Thou flatter'st misery.
APEMANTUS I flatter not, but say thou art a caitiff.248
TIMON Why dost thou seek me out?
APEMANTUS To vex250 thee.
TIMON Always a villain's office251 or a fool's.
Dost please thyself in't?252
APEMANTUS Ay.
TIMON What, a knave too?
APEMANTUS If thou didst put this sour cold habit255 on
To castigate thy pride, 'twere well256: but thou
Dost it enforcedly. Thou'dst257 courtier be again,
Wert thou not beggar. Willing misery258
Outlives incertain pomp, is crowned before:259
The one is filling still260, never complete,
The other, at high wish. Best state, content261 less,
Hath a distracted262 and most wretched being,
Worse than the worst, content.
Thou shouldst desire to die, being miserable.
TIMON Not by his breath265 that is more miserable.
Thou art a slave whom Fortune's tender arm
With favour never clasped, but bred a dog.
Hadst thou like us from our first swath proceeded268
The sweet degrees269 that this brief world affords
To such as may the passive drugs270 of it
Freely command, thou wouldst have plunged thyself
In general riot, melted down272 thy youth
In different beds of lust, and never learned
The icy precepts of respect274, but followed
The sugared game275 before thee. But myself,
Who had the world as my confectionary,
The mouths, the tongues, the eyes and hearts of men
At duty, more than I could frame278 employment,
That numberless upon me stuck as leaves
Do on the oak, have with one winter's brush280
Fell281 from their boughs and left me open, bare
For every storm that blows: I, to bear this,
That never knew but better, is some burden.
Thy nature did commence in sufferance284, time
Hath made thee hard in't285. Why shouldst thou hate men?
They never flattered thee. What hast thou given?
If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor rag,287
Must be thy subject, who in spite put stuff288
To some she beggar and compounded289 thee
Poor rogue hereditary290. Hence, be gone.
If thou hadst not been born the worst291 of men,
Thou hadst been a knave and flatterer.
APEMANTUS Art thou proud yet?293
TIMON Ay, that I am not thee.
APEMANTUS I, that I was no prodigal.295
TIMON I, that I am one now.
Were all the wealth I have shut up in thee
I'd give thee leave298 to hang it. Get thee gone.
That299 the whole life of Athens were in this!
Thus would I eat it.
Eats a root
Offers food
APEMANTUS Here, I will mend301 thy feast.
TIMON First mend my company: take away thyself.
APEMANTUS So I shall mend mine own, by th'lack of thine.
TIMON 'Tis not well mended so, it is but botched;304
If not, I would it were.305
APEMANTUS What wouldst thou have to306 Athens?
TIMON Thee thither in a whirlwind. If thou wilt,
Shows gold
Tell them there I have gold. Look, so I have.
APEMANTUS Here is no use for gold.
TIMON The best and truest,310
For here it sleeps, and does no hired harm.311
APEMANTUS Where liest a-nights312, Timon?
TIMON Under that's313 above me.
Where feed'st thou a-days, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS Where my stomach finds meat, or rather, where I
eat it.
TIMON Would poison were obedient and knew my mind!
APEMANTUS Where wouldst thou send it?
TIMON To sauce thy dishes.
APEMANTUS The middle of humanity320 thou never knewest, but
the extremity of both ends. When thou wast in thy gilt321 and
thy perfume, they mocked thee for too much curiosity322: in thy
rags thou know'st none, but art despised for the contrary.
There's a medlar324 for thee, eat it.
TIMON On what I hate I feed not.
APEMANTUS Dost hate a medlar?
TIMON Ay, though it look like thee.
APEMANTUS An th'hadst328 hated meddlers sooner, thou shouldst
have loved thyself better now. What man didst thou ever
know unthrift that was beloved afte
r his means?330
TIMON Who, without those means thou talk'st of, didst
thou ever know beloved?
APEMANTUS Myself.
TIMON I understand thee: thou hadst some means to keep a334
dog.
APEMANTUS What things in the world canst thou nearest
compare to thy flatterers?
TIMON Women nearest, but men, men are the things
themselves. What wouldst thou do with the world, Apemantus,
if it lay in thy power?
APEMANTUS Give it the beasts, to be rid of the men.
TIMON Wouldst thou have thyself fall in the confusion342 of
men, and remain a beast with the beasts?
APEMANTUS Ay, Timon.
TIMON A beastly345 ambition, which the gods grant thee
t'attain to. If thou wert the lion, the fox would beguile346 thee:
if thou wert the lamb, the fox would eat thee: if thou wert the
fox, the lion would suspect thee when peradventure348 thou
wert accused by the ass: if thou wert the ass, thy dullness349
would torment thee, and still thou livedst350 but as a breakfast
to the wolf. If thou wert the wolf, thy greediness would afflict
thee, and oft thou shouldst hazard thy life for thy dinner.
Wert thou the unicorn, pride and wrath would confound353
thee and make thine own self the conquest354 of thy fury: wert
thou a bear, thou wouldst be killed by the horse: wert thou a
horse, thou wouldst be seized by the leopard: wert thou a
leopard, thou wert german to the lion and the spots of thy357
kindred were jurors on thy life: all thy safety were remotion358
and thy defence absence. What beast couldst thou be that
were not subject to a beast? And what a beast art thou
already, that see'st not thy loss in transformation!361
APEMANTUS If thou couldst please me with speaking to me,
thou mightst have hit upon it363 here: the commonwealth of
Athens is become a forest of beasts.
TIMON How has the ass broke the wall, that thou art out of
the city?
APEMANTUS Yonder comes a poet and a painter367. The plague of
company light upon thee! I will fear to catch it and give way.368
When I know not what else to do, I'll see thee again.
TIMON When there is nothing living but thee, thou shalt be
welcome. I had rather be a beggar's dog than Apemantus.
APEMANTUS Thou art the cap372 of all the fools alive.
TIMON Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.
APEMANTUS A plague on thee! Thou art too bad to curse.
TIMON All villains that do stand by375 thee are pure.
APEMANTUS There is no leprosy but what thou speak'st.
TIMON If I name thee.
I'll378 beat thee, but I should infect my hands.
APEMANTUS I would my tongue379 could rot them off!
TIMON Away, thou issue380 of a mangy dog!
Choler does kill me that thou art alive.381
I swoon to see thee.
APEMANTUS Would thou wouldst burst!
TIMON Away, thou tedious rogue!
Throws a stone at him
I am sorry I shall lose a stone by thee.
APEMANTUS Beast!
TIMON Slave!
APEMANTUS Toad!
TIMON Rogue, rogue, rogue!
I am sick of this false world, and will love nought
But even the mere necessities391 upon't.
Then, Timon, presently392 prepare thy grave:
Lie where the light foam of the sea may beat
Thy gravestone daily. Make thine epitaph,
That death in395 me at others' lives may laugh.--
To the gold
O thou sweet king-killer, and dear396 divorce
'Twixt natural son and sire397: thou bright defiler
Of Hymen's purest bed, thou valiant Mars,398
Thou ever young, fresh, loved and delicate wooer,
Whose blush doth thaw the consecrated snow
That lies on Dian's401 lap: thou visible god,
That sold'rest close impossibilities402
And mak'st them kiss; that speak'st with every tongue,403
To every purpose! O thou touch404 of hearts:
Think405 thy slave man rebels, and by thy virtue
Set them into confounding odds, that beasts406
May have the world in empire.
APEMANTUS Would 'twere so!
But not till I am dead. I'll say th'hast gold:
Thou wilt be thronged to shortly.
TIMON Thronged to?
APEMANTUS Ay.
TIMON Thy back,413 I prithee.
Begins to leave
APEMANTUS Live, and love thy misery.
TIMON Long live so, and so die.-- I am quit.415
APEMANTUS More things like men! Eat, Timon, and abhor them.
Exit Apemantus
Enter the Banditti
At a distance
FIRST BANDIT Where should he have this gold? It is some poor
fragment, some slender ort of his remainder: the mere want418
of gold, and the falling-from419 of his friends, drove him into
this melancholy.
SECOND BANDIT It is noised421 he hath a mass of treasure.
THIRD BANDIT Let us make the assay422 upon him: if he care not
for't, he will supply us easily: if he covetously reserve423 it, how
shall's424 get it?
SECOND BANDIT True, for he bears it not about him: 'tis hid.
FIRST BANDIT Is not this he?
OTHER BANDITTI Where?
SECOND BANDIT 'Tis his description.
THIRD BANDIT He, I know him.
They come forward
ALL BANDITTI Save thee,430 Timon.
TIMON Now, thieves.
BANDITTI Soldiers, not thieves.
TIMON Both too433, and women's sons.
BANDITTI We are not thieves, but men that much do want.434
TIMON Your greatest want is, you want much of meat.435
Why should you want? Behold, the earth hath roots:
Within this mile break forth a hundred springs:
The oaks bear mast, the briers scarlet hips.438
The bounteous housewife nature on each bush
Lays her full mess440 before you. Want? Why want?
FIRST BANDIT We cannot live on grass, on berries, water,
As beasts and birds and fishes.
TIMON Nor on the beasts themselves, the birds, and fishes:
You must eat men. Yet thanks I must you con444
That you are thieves professed445, that you work not
In holier shapes446, for there is boundless theft
In limited447 professions. Rascal thieves,
Here's gold. Go, suck the subtle448 blood o'th'grape
Till the high fever seethe449 your blood to froth,
And so scape hanging450. Trust not the physician,
His antidotes are poison, and he slays
More than you rob. Take wealth and lives together:
Do, villains, do, since you protest453 to do't,
Like workmen. I'll example you454 with thievery.
The sun's a thief, and with his great attraction455
Robs the vast sea: the moon's an arrant456 thief,
And her pale fire she snatches from the sun:
The sea's a thief, whose liquid surge resolves458
The moon into salt tears: the earth's a thief,
That feeds and breeds by a composture460 stolen
From gen'ral excrement: each thing's a thief.
The laws, your curb and whip462, in their rough power
Has unchecked theft463. Love not yourselves, away,
Rob one another: there's more gold. Cut throats:
All that
you meet are thieves. To Athens go,
Break open shops: nothing can you steal
But thieves do lose it. Steal less for this I give you,467
And gold confound you howsoe'er. Amen.
THIRD BANDIT Has469 almost charmed me from my profession by
persuading me to it.
FIRST BANDIT 'Tis in the malice of471 mankind that he thus advises
us, not to have us thrive in our mystery.472
SECOND BANDIT I'll believe him as473 an enemy, and give over my
trade.
FIRST BANDIT Let us first see peace in Athens: there is no time so
miserable but a man may be true.476
Exeunt Thieves
Enter the Steward to Timon
FLAVIUS O you gods!
Is yond despised and ruinous478 man my lord?
Full of decay and failing? O monument479
And wonder of good deeds evilly bestowed!480
What an alteration of honour
Has desp'rate want made!
What viler thing upon the earth than friends
Who can bring noblest minds to basest ends!
How rarely does it meet with this time's guise,485
When man was wished to love his enemies!
Grant I may ever love and rather woo
Those that would mischief me than those that do!488
Has caught me in his eye:489 I will present
My honest grief unto him; and as my lord
Still491 serve him with my life.-- My dearest master!
TIMON Away! What art thou?
FLAVIUS Have you forgot me, sir?
TIMON Why dost ask that? I have forgot all men:
Then, if thou grant'st thou'rt a man, I have forgot thee.
FLAVIUS An honest poor servant of yours.
TIMON Then I know thee not.
I never had honest man about me: ay, all
I kept were knaves499 to serve in meat to villains.
FLAVIUS The gods are witness,
Ne'er did poor steward wear a truer grief
Weeps
For his undone502 lord than mine eyes for you.
TIMON What, dost thou weep? Come nearer. Then I love thee
Because thou art a woman, and disclaim'st504
Flinty mankind whose eyes do never give505
But thorough506 lust and laughter. Pity's sleeping:
Strange times, that weep with laughing, not with weeping!
FLAVIUS I beg of you to know508 me, good my lord,
T'accept my grief and whilst this poor wealth lasts
To entertain510 me as your steward still.
TIMON Had I a steward
So true, so just, and now so comfortable?512
It almost turns my dangerous nature wild.
Let me behold thy face. Surely, this man
Was born of woman.
Forgive my general and exceptless516 rashness,
You perpetual sober517 gods! I do proclaim
One honest man -- mistake me not, but518 one,
No more, I pray -- and he's a steward.
How fain520 would I have hated all mankind,
And thou redeem'st thyself. But all save thee
I fell522 with curses.
Methinks thou art more honest now than wise,
For by oppressing524 and betraying me
Thou mightst have sooner got another service:525
For many so arrive at second masters
Upon their first lord's neck527. But tell me true --