Racketty-Packetty House, as Told by Queen Crosspatch
middle of the night Meg and Peg and LadyPatsy wakened all at once.
"Do you hear a noise?" said Meg, lifting her head from her raggedold pillow.
[Transcriber's Note: See picture noise.jpg]
"Yes, I do," said Peg, sitting up and holding her ragged oldblanket up to her chin.
Lady Patsy jumped up with feathers sticking up all over her hair,because they had come out of the holes in the ragged old bed. Sheran to the window and listened.
"Oh! Meg and Peg!" she cried out. "It comes from the Castle.Cynthia has left them all raving in delirium and they are allshouting and groaning and screaming."
Meg and Peg jumped up too.
"Let's go and call Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and PeterPiper," they said, and they rushed to the staircase and metKilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper comingscrambling up panting because the noise had wakened them as well.
They were all over at Tidy Castle in a minute. They just tumbledover each other to get there--the kind-hearted things. The servantswere every one fast asleep, though the noise was awful. The loudestgroans came from Lady Gwendolen and Lord Francis because theirmustard plasters were blistering them frightfully.
Ridiklis took charge, because she was the one who knew most aboutillness. She sent Gustibus to waken the servants and then orderedhot water and cold water, and ice, and brandy, and poultices, andshook the trained nurse for not attending to her business--and tookoff the mustard plasters and gave gruel and broth and cough syrupand castor oil and ipecacuanha, and everyone of the Racketty-Packettysmassaged, and soothed, and patted, and put wet cloths on heads,until the fever was gone and the Castle dolls all lay back on theirpillows pale and weak, but smiling faintly at every Racketty-Packettythey saw, instead of turning up their noses and tossing their headsand sniffing loudly, and just _scorning_ them.
Lady Gwendolen spoke first and instead of being haughty anddisdainful, she was as humble as a new-born kitten.
"Oh! you dear, shabby, disrespectable, darling things!" she said."Never, never, will I scorn you again. Never, never!"
[Transcriber's Note: See picture shabby.jpg]
"That's right!" said Peter Piper in his cheerful, rather slangyway. "You take my tip-never you scorn any one again. It's amistake. Just you watch me stand on my head. It'll cheer you up."
And he turned six summersaults--just like lightning--and stood onhis head and wiggled his ragged legs at them until suddenly theyheard a snort from one of the beds and it was Lord Hubert beginningto laugh and then Lord Francis laughed and then Lord Hubertshouted, and then Lady Doris squealed, and Lady Muriel screamed,and Lady Gwendolen and the Duchess rolled over and over in theirbeds, laughing as if they would have fits.
"Oh! you delightful, funny, shabby old loves!" Lady Gwendolen keptsaying. "To think that we scorned you."
"They'll be all right after this," said Peter Piper. "There'snothing cures scarlet fever like cheering up. Let's all join handsand dance round and round once for them before we go back to bed.It'll throw them into a nice light perspiration and they'll dropoff and sleep like tops." And they did it, and before they hadfinished, the whole lot of them were perspiring gently and snoringas softly as lambs.
When they went back to Racketty-Packetty House they talked a gooddeal about Cynthia and wondered and wondered why she had left herscarlet fever so suddenly. And at last Ridiklis made up her mind totell them something she had heard.
"The Duchess told me," she said, rather slowly because it was badnews--"The Duchess said that Cynthia went away because her Mamahad sent for her--and her Mama had sent for her to tell her that alittle girl princess is coming to see her to-morrow. Cynthia'sMama used to be a maid of honor to the Queen and that's why thelittle girl Princess is coming. The Duchess said--" and hereRidiklis spoke very slowly indeed, "that the nurse was so excitedshe said she did not know whether she stood on her head or herheels, and she must tidy up the nursery and have that Racketty-Packettyold dolls' house carried down stairs and burned, early to-morrowmorning. That's what the Duchess _said_--"
Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg clutched at their hearts and gasped andGustibus groaned and Lady Patsy caught Peter Piper by the arm tokeep from falling. Peter Piper gulped--and then he had a suddencheerful thought.
"Perhaps she was raving in delirium," he said.
"No, she wasn't," said Ridiklis shaking her head, "I had just givenher hot water and cold, and gruel, and broth, and castor oil, andipecacuanha and put ice almost all over her. She was as sensible asany of us. To-morrow morning we shall not have a house over ourheads," and she put her ragged old apron over her face and cried.
[Transcriber's Note: See picture apron.jpg]
"If she wasn't raving in delirium," said Peter Piper, "we shall nothave any heads. You had better go back to the Castle tonight,Patsy. Racketty-Packetty House is no place for you."
Then Lady Patsy drew herself up so straight that she nearly fellover backwards.
"I--will--_never_--leave you!" she said, and Peter Piper couldn'tmake her.
You can just imagine what a doleful night it was. They went allover the house together and looked at every hole in the carpet andevery piece of stuffing sticking out of the dear old shabby sofas,and every broken window and chair leg and table and ragged blanket--and the tears ran down their faces for the first time in theirlives. About six o'clock in the morning Peter Piper made a lasteffort.
[Transcriber's Note: See picture together.jpg]
"Let's all join hands in a circle," he said quite faintly, "anddance round and round once more."
But it was no use. When they joined hands they could not dance, andwhen they found they could not dance they all tumbled down in aheap and cried instead of laughing and Lady Patsy lay with her armsround Peter Piper's neck.
Now here is where I come in again--Queen Crosspatch--who is tellingyou this story. I always come in just at the nick of time whenpeople like the Racketty-Packettys are in trouble. I walked in atseven o'clock.
"Get up off the floor," I said to them all and they got up andstared at me. They actually thought I did not know what hadhappened.
"A little girl Princess is coming this morning," said Peter Piper,and our house is going to be burned over our heads. This is the endof Racketty-Packetty House."
"No, it isn't!" I said. "You leave this to me. I told the Princessto come here, though she doesn't know it in the least."
A whole army of my Working Fairies began to swarm in at the nurserywindow. The nurse was working very hard to put things in order andshe had not sense enough to see Fairies at all. So she did not seemine, though there were hundreds of them. As soon as she made onecorner tidy, they ran after her and made it untidy. They held herback by her dress and hung and swung on her apron until she couldscarcely move and kept wondering why she was so slow. She could notmake the nursery tidy and she was so flurried she forgot all aboutRacketty-Packetty House again--especially as my Working Fairiespushed the arm-chair close up to it so that it was quite hidden.And there it was when the little girl Princess came with her Ladiesin Waiting. My fairies had only just allowed the nurse to finishthe nursery.
Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and PeterPiper and Lady Patsy were huddled up together looking out of onewindow. They could not bear to be parted. I sat on the arm of thebig chair and ordered my Working Fairies to stand ready to obey methe instant I spoke.
The Princess was a nice child and was very polite to Cynthia whenshe showed her all her dolls, and last but not least, Tidy Castleitself. She looked at all the rooms and the furniture and saidpolite and admiring things about each of them. But Cynthia realizedthat she was not so much interested in it as she had thought shewould be. The fact was that the Princess had so many grand dolls'houses in her palace that Tidy Castle did not surprise her at all.It was just when Cynthia was finding this out that I gave the orderto my Working Fairies.
"Push the arm-chair away," I commanded; "very slowly, so that noone will know it is being moved."
So
they moved it away--very, very slowly and no one saw that it hadstirred. But the next minute the little girl Princess gave adelightful start.
"Oh! what is that!" she cried out, hurrying towards theunfashionable neighborhood behind the door.
Cynthia blushed all over and the nurse actually turned pale. TheRacketty-Packettys tumbled down in a heap beneath their window andbegan to say their prayers very fast.
"It is only a shabby old doll's house, your Highness," Cynthiastammered out. "It belonged to my Grandmamma, and it ought not tobe in the nursery. I thought you had had it burned, Nurse!"
"Burned!" the little girl Princess cried out in the most shockedway. "Why if it was mine,