No Looking Back

CHAPTER 13

  When Pete woke up he laid in bed, thinking about Marla and the baby. How was he going to convince her to come back to Wynott with him, let alone spend the rest of her life with him. He didn’t have a clue.

  He got out of bed, showered and dressed in the same clothes he’d worn yesterday. Thankfully the B&B had given him a basic grooming kit. He headed down the steps and followed his nose to the smells of breakfast, nodding hello to another guest already seated at the table and enjoying a variety of baked good. When Bertie walked in and took a seat at the table she hopped up almost immediately, as if she’d sat on something sharp.

  “I almost forgot, Ms. Winters gave this to me and asked if I’d give it to you when I saw you.” Bertie said as she handed him a sealed envelope. His fingers trembled a little as he opened it, thinking it was a goodbye letter.

  “When did she have a chance to give this to you? It’s only nine thirty. I didn’t realize she was up yet.”

  “Yep. She was up and out of here bright and early this morning.” Bertie confirmed.

  “She didn’t check out did she?”

  “No. In fact she paid for the rest of the week. Nice girl. Said she’d be back later today. Guess she had some things to do around town. I gave her directions to a few different places she asked about.” Bertie headed to the ringing phone before he could ask which places she’d inquired about.

  He opened the envelope and there was cash in it, way too much in his opinion. Disappointed now, Pete decided to explore the town on his own. He had hoped he could do that with Marla but apparently she had other ideas. At least he knew he’d see her at the doctor’s office later today. He knew she was too concerned about the baby to skip that appointment.

  Suttonville looked to be a very nice town. Clean sidewalks and nicely tended flower boxes bloomed brightly all along the main street of town with colorful arrangements. The buildings were very old but extremely well taken care of. Pete liked the historic feel of the area. Instead of industrial looking street lights the town had antique looking lanterns hanging from matching posts, very Victorian era. If Angie from the steak house and Bertie from the B&B were any indication, the people of Suttonville were very nice too. Everyone seemed friendly and helpful, even people that didn’t work at the local businesses were helpful. At one point Pete was trying to get his bearings and it must have shown on his face because a lovely little old lady, probably in her late eighties, offered to help him find his way.

  Marla had started her day early, grateful for the good night’s sleep she’d gotten. She was waiting at the bank when it opened to get her hands on some of her own money. She didn’t want to feel obliged to anyone, all right Pete, any money. She’d walked back to the B&B and given Bertie an envelope with Pete’s money and paid for the rest of the week’s room and board. She liked Bertie and the B&B was nice and clean.

  Marla had gotten herself a cell phone and activated it so she could set-up some job interviews. Since she had some interviews scheduled for tomorrow, she would have to buy herself some maternity clothes. Plus she had to keep the doctor’s appointment scheduled for later today. She was actually looking forward to that. Most of the jobs she had interviews scheduled for were physically labor intensive and she wanted to make sure everything was good with the baby before taking on that kind of job. One of the problems with not knowing anything about your past was that she could have a Ph.D. or not even have graduated from high school, which forced her to apply for low paying jobs. Back in Wynott she had worked at the supermarket as a cashier and cleaned private homes for income before she’d opened the bakery. Marla had actually enjoyed cleaning the homes, she found it relaxing and she liked walking through the just cleaned home one last time before leaving with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. One of the jobs she was going to interview for was as a housekeeper for one of the smaller hotels in downtown Suttonville. At least for that one she could supply some references.

  Marla took in the sights and sounds of the downtown area and liked what she saw. It looked like just the type of town she was looking for, no one pried into things that weren’t their business. They didn’t give you advice you hadn’t asked for and they didn’t tell you what to do or how to do it. They minded their own business. Here she remained anonymous, something she hadn’t had for the last three years. She realized she was probably being harder on the citizens of Wynott than she should, but after being under a microscope for three years she could finally take a deep breath without it ending up in the local paper. By one o’clock Marla was tired and sick of carrying her bags of clothes. She headed back to the B&B intending to take a nap, showering and getting ready for the doctor’s appointment. When she walked in and saw Pete pacing in the sitting room she had a feeling he had other plans.

  “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you.” He was mad but refrained from actually yelling at her.

  “Bertie knew I was all right, didn’t she tell you I had errands to run?”

  “All she did was give me the goddamn envelope with the money I didn’t want you to give me. Maybe you could have left me a note or something?”

  “I didn’t mean to worry you. In fact, it never occurred to me that you’d be upset. It wasn’t intentional, it’s just that I needed to get some clothes and a phone and set-up some job interviews so I’ve been busy, not that I owe you an explanation.”

  “You’re right, you don’t owe me any explanations but you are carrying my baby and I need to know you’re all right and not laying in some alley hurt or in trouble. I’m a cop Marla, that’s where my thoughts automatically go, and I won’t apologize for that.”

  “Well now you know we’re both fine. I’m going to take a nap before the appointment, if that’s okay with you, of course.” She shot sarcastically over her shoulder as she went up the steps to her room.

  “Marla, when can we talk?”

  How about never? “How about after the doctor’s appointment? We can go out to dinner and talk everything out then.”

  “I’m holding you to that then. Meet me down here at three thirty, the receptionist asked that you come early to do the paperwork.”

  “Great, see you then.” She walked into her room and closed the door quickly, trying to avoid any further conversation. No sooner had Marla closed the door when she opened it again quickly and ran down to Pete.

  “I think the baby just moved! Feel, right here! You feel that? Isn’t it awesome?” She had tears of happiness in her eyes as she held Pete’s hand to her trembling stomach.

  “Wow! That’s so cool. Is this the first time?”

  “Yes. I was so afraid something was wrong. The book said I should have felt it sooner, assuming that Dr. Stravinsky’s calculations were right.” Now Marla was crying and sobbing with joy and relief. He took her into his arms, still holding his hand to her swollen belly, and kissed the top of her head.

  “This is so great, honey. That’s our baby in there.” Unable to speak she just shook her head and let the tears fall.

  “Let’s go back up to your room so we can lay on the bed and feel the baby move.” She took Pete’s hand and led the way, feeling closer to him than she had in a very long time.

  Once Marla was settled into Pete’s arms on the bed, they both lay there and waited for the next burst of movement. She decided now was a good time to try and explain why she didn’t want to go back to Wynott.

  “Pete, I want you to understand that my not going back to Wynott isn’t meant to be a punishment to you, it’s just something I need to do for myself. Ever since I was found at the side of the road it seems like everyone in town has had a say in my life. They had a place for me to live arranged, a job was waiting for me at the market. Even my clothes were already in my dresser when I got there. The town was wonderful to me and took care of me when I needed them most, but now I need to make sure I can do it on my own, without the town pick
ing me up and dusting me off if I fall. I don’t want to go back there just so they can take care of me and the baby now, too. Indirectly, it already started even while I was held in the hotel room. You never felt the need to tell me you loved me until you heard about the baby and I can’t help but feel that you only did it because of the baby. It may not be true, but none the less I can’t shake that feeling no matter how much I want to. Please try and put yourself in my shoes for a while and you’ll see what I mean.”

  He didn’t say anything, how could he when he understood completely what she meant. It broke his heart to see her struggling like this when they should both be sharing a life together and waiting for the baby to come.

  “Honey, unfortunately, I understand completely, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I felt sort of the same way when I came to Wynott. I came to escape because I couldn’t stand seeing my ex-wife and my partner so happy. Did I tell you they were expecting a baby when I left? My heart was broken and so was I. It was only once I met you that I began to heal. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and the baby, possibly six or seven more kiddies for a little more company, so I’ll wait for a while and let you do what you have to do. But don’t ask me to like it. I need you to promise me that when you’re ready to come home you’ll come home to me, preferably before the baby’s born. I want to be there for the delivery at least. Please promise me you won’t make me miss that.”

  “I promise I’ll do the best I can to make sure you’re there for the delivery, but you do understand that I won’t have any control over that, right?”

  “When we have a due date, just plan on me being parked on your doorstep.”

  “Oh, and one other point I need to make is that I can’t marry you even if I wanted to, I don’t have a birth certificate or even a place of birth, and you need one for a marriage license. We’ll be forced to live in sin, could you handle having six or seven illegitimate children? I’m not sure I can, but that’s really not an issue right now.” She waved her hand in the air to dismiss the thought. She felt the rumble of his chest as he laughed. When he turned to look at her she kissed him unexpectedly, and it certainly wasn’t how one would kiss a good friend or brother. It was hot and steamy and passionate. She let the love she felt pour out of her and into the kiss. By the time the kiss ended she was laying completely on top of him, chest to chest and thigh to thigh. When she felt his erection grow she itched to touch him, to be with him, but she knew that would be a mistake right now. She slowly rolled off Pete’s body and settled her head back on his shoulder.

  “I love you Pete, don’t ever think I don’t.”

  “I know baby, I love you too. Don’t ever think I don’t.” As they laid there in silence, just enjoying each other’s comforting embrace, she drifted off into a contented sleep, finally feeling safe and secure.

  They walked into the doctor’s office and did the endless paperwork. Pete was so nervous he was pacing in the waiting room until the nurse called them into the examination room. Pete watched Marla as she took off her clothes and put on the gown the nurse provided. He was amazed at how beautiful her body had become with her pregnancy, not that there had been anything wrong with it before. Now she was more rounded, more curvy, more… everything. He plunged his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and touching her, aching to go over her inch by precious inch.

  Dr. Kane was just as Angie had described him, caring and compassionate, gentle and reassuring. After he finished her physical examination he suggested that he do an ultrasound to get a better idea of how far along Marla was and they both agreed eagerly. The nurse wheeled in the ultrasound machine and Dr. Kane put the warm, gooey gel on her little bump. Immediately the room filled with the sounds of a heartbeat. She looked up at Pete who was now standing next to her head and holding her hand.

  “Is that my heartbeat?”

  “No, that’s the baby’s.” Dr. Kane answered as he moved the wand over her belly.

  “It sounds awfully fast, is that normal,” Pete asked worriedly.

  “It’s perfectly normal, babies run a little faster than adults do. Everything sounds good. Now let’s see what we can figure out here.”

  Pete and Marla’s eyes were glued to the monitor as Dr. Kane pointed out the baby and its various body parts. Marla was amazed that she could actually see the baby’s heart beating. Relief washed over her as the doctor explained that everything looked very good, perfectly normal, and he would estimate she was about four months along.

  “Can you tell the sex of the baby,” Marla asked.

  “Let me try, the baby seems to be a little shy.” Dr. Kane pressed a little harder with the wand and moved it around a little, trying to zero in on the area.

  “Yep, here it is. Do you want to know?”

  Marla and Pete looked at each other and at the same time they both answered.

  “Yes!”

  “Looks like you have a little girl here mom and dad. Is that what you were hoping for?”

  “I just wanted healthy, the sex doesn’t matter.” Marla answered while she looked to Pete for confirmation.

  “I wanted a little girl and I hope she looks just like her mother,” He answered honestly. Whenever he had allowed himself to fantasize about the baby he had always pictured a little girl. He was thrilled with the prospect of having a little girl all his own.

  It seemed to take forever to check out at the doctor’s office, they were provided with booklets, brochures, free samples, nutrition guides and anything else they could cram into the tote bag they gave freely to all expecting couples. She made her next appointment and they were out the door.

  “Pete, when are you planning on going back to Wynott?”

  “I was planning on leaving after dinner tonight. Are you hungry? We could go to the steak house for dinner.”

  “Yum. That sounds good. I’m starving and I wouldn’t mind seeing Angie and thanking her for sending us to Dr. Kane.” She had no intention of mentioning that she had a job interview scheduled at the steak house tomorrow. She knew he would not like the idea of her lifting heavy trays of food, but that was her business and not his.

  Marla and Pete had a very nice dinner together and luckily Angie was working tonight. Both of them thanked her profusely for the referral.

  Marla was stunned stupid when Angie added, “I hear you have a job interview here tomorrow. I’ll put in a good word for you if you like.”

  “That would be great if you wouldn’t mind. I’ve never worked in a restaurant before so I’m a little nervous.”

  “Nothing to it. Easiest job in the world once you figure out how things are run. The folks that own this place are decent to work for, too. I’ve been here for over ten years myself.”

  “Cool. Wish me luck then.” Marla waved goodbye before walking out the door. She could see by the look on Pete’s face that he wasn’t particularly pleased about her job choices, but to his credit he kept his mouth shut about it.

  Pete already had his things packed and in his car when he dropped Marla off at Bertie’s B&B.

  “Marla, I find myself stalling to get on the road, I don’t want to leave you. What if something happens to you or the baby? I’ll be too far away to help.”

  “Pete, the doctor said everything looks fine and isn’t that kind of the whole point of me being on my own, or do you think I can’t take care of myself?” She had a challenging look in her eyes, like she dared him to say anything negative because then she’d rip his head off.

  “That’s not it at all. I know you can take care of yourself. I just don’t want to leave you here, so far away. It’s a purely selfish thing. I’ll miss you. Am I at least allowed to call you?”

  “Absolutely. I have no problem with that and I’ll call you, too.” Marla promised.

  “Am I allowed a kiss goodbye?”

  “Yep. Just try and get away without one.”
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  She leaned over and kissed him, intending to pull away quickly, but Pete had other plans as he cupped the back of her head in his hand and dove deeper into her mouth with his tongue. They savored the taste of each other as their lips and tongues did a sweet dance together, slow and softly. When they finally separated after what seemed like hours, Marla followed up with a few brief kisses in quick succession.

  “Drive carefully and I’ll talk to you later.”

  Just like that she was out of the car and heading up the walkway, turning to wave once before she disappeared through the door.

  Pete knew that this was probably the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, leave his woman and baby behind when every cell in his body screamed at him to stay. But this wasn’t about him, it was about Marla and he had to keep reminding himself of that for the whole three hours it took to drive back to Wynott. It turned out to be a very long, lonely drive.