Endless

  The dawn had come today with still no sign of the sun, but the air was noticeably warmer. Instead of bundling into jeans and sweats, everyone was wearing shorts and long-sleeved T-shirts as we gathered again at the bridge, bent on getting as many people across to their final destinations as we could. Early that morning, Krista had ushered the kids over, and every last one of them had gone to the Light. Since then, the area at the base of the bridge had taken on an almost festival-like feel, with a dozen cars parked in a ragged circle, and groups of people chatting around coolers and bags of snacks. Someone’s radio played fifties tunes through a car window, and a wind sock had been tied to the antenna of Bea’s Jeep, its colorful stripes whipping in the breeze.

  “I know. The first time is hard,” I said, touching Liam’s arm. He was wearing a bright red T-shirt with a white cross on the front and the word LIFEGAURD emblazoned above it. “But you’re sending him to a good place. He led a good life. He’s supposed to be there.”

  Liam nodded, but I wasn’t entirely sure he was hearing me. His eyes were unfocused as he looked at the damp ground beneath our feet. I could only imagine what he was thinking. He’d been here just a few days, and he’d had so much thrown at him, most of it negative, terrifying, uncertain. Deep inside he was probably still wondering if we were crazy. If this was some kind of massive joke. My heart went out to him. It wasn’t that long ago that I felt the exact same way.

  “But what about Lalani? Won’t she realize he’s gone? Won’t she be worried about him?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “She won’t remember him. It’s part of the Juniper Landing magic. Until she gets to the Light, too, she won’t even remember having had a brother.”

  Liam snorted a laugh. “This is insane. It’s just insane.”

  “Liam, listen,” I said, reaching for his hand. He stared down at my fingers as if he’d never seen fingers before. “What we do here, it’s important. It’s a calling. A mission. When we send these souls on to their final destinations, we’re helping maintain the balance of the universe.”

  I could hear Tristan’s voice in my head, telling me the same thing just a couple of weeks ago, trying to convince me.

  “I know things have been out of whack since you’ve been here,” I said, then leaned in closer. “They’ve actually been out of whack since I’ve been here, so I understand you might not exactly trust this place. But I’ve seen the system when it’s working, and I know it’s been working for a long time. It’s up to us to get it back on track.”

  Liam sucked in a breath at the same moment the loud, sucking noise split the air and the mist around the bridge swirled. He laughed at the coincidence. Our walkies zipped to life. It was Joaquin’s voice this time on the other end.

  “It’s pointing north. Over.”

  I smiled slightly. Every time I heard those words it was like a tiny piece of my shattered heart was working its way back into place. Frustratingly, Pete was still unconscious, but it was looking more and more like he’d been working alone. With him locked up safely in jail, the problem was solved. At least this particular problem, anyway. But hopefully Dorn was right. Now that we knew the ushering process was back to normal, everyone could focus on getting my dad, Darcy, and the others out of the Shadowlands.

  “New guy! You’re up!” Fisher shouted, clapping his massive hands together.

  “You can do this,” I told Liam. “You’re a good person. I know you can do it.”

  Liam nodded. “Thanks, Rory. I’m…I’m gonna try.”

  He pushed his hands into the pocket of his plaid shorts as he walked over to join Nick. His charge turned to him with a trusting smile, his perfect white teeth practically beaming against the gray sky around us and the fog ceiling overhead. He tipped his head toward Liam as he followed him to the bridge. Whatever Liam was saying to him, it wasn’t causing him any sort of alarm. And after Liam handed him the coin, Nick reached out to shake his hand.

  I felt a hitch in the back of my throat as Nick crossed the threshold of the bridge and Liam waved good-bye, thinking of the night I’d said good-bye to Aaron, how happy I’d been, how Tristan and I had shared our first real kiss.

  And then everything had fallen to crap.

  Gravel crunched on the road, and I turned to see Tristan’s SUV bouncing its way up the hill. My heart started to pound at the sight of it, and I automatically reached up to smooth my hair behind my ears. The sucking sound filled the air again, and Joaquin’s voice rang out.

  “It’s pointing north! Yeeha!” There was a pause and then a crackle. “Sorry. Over.”

  Everyone laughed. Liam loped over to me just as Tristan stopped the car and slammed the door behind him. He’d showered, finally, and his blond hair hung like a shiny, healthy curtain over his blue eyes. He smiled tentatively at me as he stopped to talk to Fisher. I tore my eyes away from him long enough to hug Liam.

  “Good job. See? I knew you’d be fine.”

  “Thanks,” Liam said, blushing. “As long as he went the right way, I’m cool.”

  “Hey, guys.”

  Tristan jogged over to us, rubbing his hands together. The sleeves of his light blue shirt were loose on his arms, and I realized he’d lost some weight during his exile. His jeans were hanging lower than usual, and there was a sharp indent to his cheeks.

  “Hey,” I replied, oddly shy.

  “You guys, we have a problem,” Lauren announced, speed-walking over to join us.

  “Why am I not surprised?” I said under my breath.

  “Sorry.” Lauren bit her lip. “The thing is, we’re running out of untainted coins. If we can’t use any of the ones we got while Pete was still on the loose, we’re kind of screwed.”

  “How many do we have left?” Tristan asked.

  “I have two. Fisher has one. Kevin has one, and as far as I know, that’s it,” Lauren said. “Krista used most of them sending the kids across this morning.”

  I sighed. “Well, then we’re just going to have to take it slowly. And it’s going to have to stay crowded around here for a while longer.”

  “That sucks,” Lauren said, tucking her shiny black hair behind her ears as she looked back at the bridge. “Just when things were getting back to normal.”

  I gritted my teeth. I was getting sick of people saying that when my sister and father and Aaron and the others were still stuck in the Shadowlands, but I didn’t say anything. I knew she just wanted to feel safe again, to feel secure.

  “We’ll figure it out. We always do,” Tristan assured her. He glanced at Liam. “Was that your first?”

  “Yep. Weird,” Liam said. “But Rory was a good coach.”

  Tristan’s face lit up and my whole body responded. There was nothing like a proud smile from Tristan. “Yeah? Why am I not surprised?”

  I grinned in reply.

  “Told you,” Tristan said. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

  “What the hell are you people doing up here?”

  A chill raced down my spine and my eyes locked with Tristan’s. I turned around slowly to find Sebastian Tse skidding down a reed-covered embankment toward us, his sister right on his heels.

  “I thought the mayor dealt with these guys,” Lauren said through her teeth.

  “Apparently not well enough,” Tristan replied, stepping in front of us.

  “Where did that kid just go?” Sebastian demanded, throwing an arm out toward the bridge as he confronted Liam. “Why did you send him over that bridge by himself?”

  Liam was the color of cooked lobster. “I…um…we—”

  “Don’t,” Tristan said curtly. My heart was in my throat.

  “Don’t even try lying to us,” Selma said, standing next to her brother, her clear blue eyes scanning our faces. “We talked to the people at our boarding house. They keep telling us about things that happened—things we should remember—like a ferry si
nking? They say we were there, but neither one of us remembers it.”

  “How is that possible?” Sebastian said, seething, his nostrils wide as he advanced on Tristan, clearly picking him out as the leader. “What have you people done to us?”

  “Why don’t you let us give you a ride back to town?” Tristan suggested as Fisher and Kevin walked up behind him.

  “Why don’t you start explaining?” Sebastian shot back.

  Tristan reached out a hand and gripped Sebastian’s shoulder, looking him in the eye.

  “Everything’s fine,” he said in that soothing tone I knew so well. “There’s nothing sinister going on here—I promise you.”

  I watched Sebastian’s shoulders start to relax as he looked deep into Tristan’s eyes. Slowly, Tristan worked his magic on Sebastian until every ounce of his tension and doubt had been ironed away. I remembered vividly what it had felt like the first time Tristan had used his soothing power on me—how peaceful the whole world had become—and I almost felt jealous of Sebastian.

  Supposedly every Lifer had this power, but Tristan was the only person I’d ever seen use it.

  “You guys have had a rough few days,” Tristan said. “Why don’t you let Fisher drive you back? It’s a long walk, especially with the mud and the downed trees.”

  “No way,” Selma said, crossing her skinny arms over her chest. “We’re not leaving here until—”

  “It’s just a ride, Selma,” Sebastian said, lifting a shoulder. “What’s the big deal?”

  Her jaw dropped, but when Sebastian smiled at her, her indignation quickly faded.

  “Okay,” she said finally. “If you say so.”

  Tristan clapped Sebastian on the back as he and Fisher headed for the van, Selma trailing behind.

  “Radio Joaquin,” Tristan said to Kevin, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Tell him we’re sending the Tses down to see the mayor again.”

  “On it,” Kevin said, turning away.

  I took a deep breath and blew it out. Crisis averted. For now, anyway.

  “Um, guys? Shouldn’t they not have remembered Nick?” Lauren pointed out. “The second he went over the bridge, he should have been forgotten by the visitors.”

  A flash of uncertainty tightened Tristan’s face. “Maybe it was because they actually saw him go over? That hasn’t happened before.”

  “Or maybe it’s just one more chink in the system thanks to the unbalance of the universe,” Lauren said.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Tristan said, rubbing her back. “Hopefully it’s just a blip.”

  “Uh, does that happen a lot?” Liam asked shakily. “People freaking out like that?”

  “Not often, but when it does, we take care of it.” Tristan gave a wry smile, then turned to me. “Listen, Rory, can we…go for a drive or something? I mean, if you don’t mind me stealing her away,” he said to Liam.

  “No, that’s cool.” Liam pushed his hands into the back pockets of his shorts. “I think I’m gonna walk back to town and shake this off. Maybe find Lalani.”

  “You should drive down with Fisher,” Tristan said. “I still don’t like the idea of anyone going anywhere alone.”

  “Let me know if there’s anything you want to talk about,” I told Liam. “You know where I live, and there’s always the walkies.”

  “Thanks, Rory,” Liam said. He lifted a hand to the others in a wave and jogged to catch up with Fisher. Seconds later, Fisher’s van roared out of our makeshift parking area.

  “So. You ready?” Tristan asked, holding his hand out to me.

  I glanced uncertainly at Lauren.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ve got a couple more people to usher,” she said, waving us off.

  It felt good, just to hear someone say that. To have it not be loaded with terror and meaning. The fog was still clogging up the sky, but with each hour the air grew warmer, and I could practically feel the sun trying to make itself known again.

  Things really were getting back to normal. And maybe, with Tristan’s help, I’d find a way to get my family back. I took Tristan’s hand and let him lead me away.

  So the creepy twins are going in to see the mayor again. I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that particular conversation. I can’t decide whether those two are friends or foes. They ask too many questions—that’s for sure—and questions are usually a bad thing for a person in my position. But then again, if they ask too many questions of the wrong person, perhaps that person will crack and tell them the truth. That would damn them to the Shadowlands, and if I could claim them to my tally, I’d be so much closer to my goal.

  I wonder if any of my so-called friends will be stupid enough to talk. There are a few who might be that dense. Maybe I should get them drunk and see if that loosens their tongues a bit. Then I could be done with this mission by the end of the day. As long as it’s not Rory. She’s got another purpose to serve in this. A much bigger purpose.

  Tristan put the car in park and killed the engine. The windows were down, and now that we’d stopped moving, the warm, muggy air filled the space between us. He’d stopped with the nose of his SUV near the cliff where I’d once seen Joaquin, Fisher, and half a dozen other Lifers jump over the edge, to prove to me that they couldn’t die. It was the same night I’d confronted Nadia for the first time. Back then I’d thought she hated me because Tristan liked me. I’d thought she was just angry, jealous, and mean.

  Now I realized she’d been terrified, pulsating with fear over the world she knew and loved crumbling around her. She was right to be afraid, and now she was gone.

  “I can’t get used to it,” Tristan said, leaning forward to look up at the sky through the windshield. “That blanket of fog? For the first time since I arrived here, it really does feel like another world.”

  “That’s never happened before?” I asked, fiddling with the zipper on my blue hoodie.

  “No. This is new.”

  His hands slipped down the sides of the steering wheel and came to rest awkwardly in his lap. He caught me watching them and laughed quietly.

  “You have no idea how much I want to touch you,” he said.

  My heart turned cartwheels. “Why don’t you?”

  He turned to me, his clear-blue gaze seeking something inside my eyes. “Because I don’t know if you want me to.”

  I swallowed hard. “Tristan—”

  “Hang on a sec,” he said. “Just let me talk.”

  I nodded, unzipping my sweatshirt and tugging it free of my arms. The world suddenly felt stifling.

  “When I was on the run…hiding out there…knowing everyone I’d ever cared about was hunting me down…I never once thought about myself,” Tristan said. “I never thought about what might happen to me. What they would do to me if they found me. All I ever thought about was you.”

  A bubble welled up inside my throat, and I gulped it back, determined not to interrupt him.

  “All that matters to me anymore is what you think of me,” Tristan said. “And that you’re happy. That you’re okay. I spent every single night I was gone on that bridge, trying to figure out how to get the damn door or the portal or whatever it is that leads to the Shadowlands to open. Every single night. I wanted to get your dad back for you. Get Aaron back. I didn’t even care if you ever found out that I was the one who saved them. I just wanted it done. For you.”

  I took a breath. A single tear spilled down my cheek. He reached up and touched his palm to it.

  “I’m sorry that I failed you,” he said.

  I let out this weird noise. It was somewhere between a laugh—because how could he be apologizing to me?—and a sob—because there was so much emotion inside me that I couldn’t help but release it. I reached up and held on to his forearm like I was clinging to life.

  “Did you find anything?” I asked him desperately. “Anythi
ng that could help us?”

  His hand dropped from my face and he held my fingers lightly between us, looking down, touching each of my fingertips in turn with the pad of his thumb. He shook his head.

  “It’s scary on that bridge. There are these voices—”

  “You heard them, too?” I asked.

  He blinked and stopped his fidgeting. “Wait. You went over the bridge?”

  I nodded. “The other day. I was trying to find you. Or find a way in. I don’t know. But I thought I heard…” I trailed off, too embarrassed to continue.

  “What? Who?” he asked, breathless. “Who did you hear?”

  I gulped. “My mom. And Steven Nell.” I shuddered now, remembering it, and sat back in the seat, staring out over the wide blue ocean. “I thought I was going insane.”

  “You weren’t. I mean, you’re not. I heard them, too. People I knew in life, souls who came through here a hundred years ago who I’d almost forgotten. It was like they were trying to talk to me, or about me. Almost like they were laughing at me.”

  “Exactly.” I pressed my lips together and shivered. “If it’s that awful on the bridge, Tristan…then what’s it like in the Shadowlands?”

  His expression darkened, and I knew he was feeling the same pain I was. This island and the purpose he served meant more to him than anything. It must have been killing him to know that everything had gone wrong, that innocent people were suffering.

  “We’re going to get them back, Rory. I swear. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get them back for you.”

  “But how?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Not yet. But I know there’s an answer.”

  He shifted in his seat, squinting out at the blanket of fog. There was something brighter about the color of the sky. It was more purple than gray, contrasting sharply with the swirling mist overhead. I took a deep breath.

  “You’ve always said there’s no way to get into the Shadowlands. Not for us,” I ventured.

  “Yeah?” he said.