Sought

  She looked up at him with uncertainty and fear in her eyes and suddenly he saw how he must look to her. He was huge, hulking—monstrous. His shoulders were fully twice as broad as hers and his skin, which had seemed normal to him until now, was rough and discolored next to her smooth, creamy brown. And his eyes…his eyes were the worst of all. He had studied some Earth mythology and he knew what they must look like to her. A demon—isn’t that the word? She must think I have a demon’s eyes.

  “You’re not a demon,” she said softly and he realized he must have spoken the words aloud. “I don’t think that about you, Xairn.”

  The momentary lapse startled and troubled him. “That’s because you don’t know me,” he said roughly. He stood abruptly. “I must go.”

  “Will…will you come back?” She looked up at him, hope shining in her amber eyes. “Please, you’re the only one I have to talk to. Please don’t leave me alone again with those…those things.”

  “They are Scourge, the same as me,” he said, frowning. “They’re simply grown in the artificial wombs we call vats.”

  “No.” Lauren shook her head. “They’re not the same as you. They’re nothing like you. I can see it in their eyes—they’re empty inside. Soulless.”

  “So am I.”

  “No,” Lauren said again, more softly this time. “You’re not soulless, Xairn. You’re just locked up tight inside. So tight even you don’t know how to find the key.”

  “I have no time for your Earth metaphors,” he said harshly. “I must go.”

  “Go on, then.” She looked at him appealingly. “But please…please come back.”

  “I make no promises,” he said. The disappointment in her eyes made him add, “But I will try.”

  “Thank you,” she said simply. “I’ll look forward to our next conversation. Maybe…maybe you can tell me something about your life.”

  “I could.” Xairn laughed humorlessly. “But I doubt you’d wish to hear it. I have no pretty little stories of when I was young, Lauren. The only tales I could tell you—” He broke off, shaking his head.

  “What?” she urged softly.

  “Nothing.” He turned for the door. “I’ll come back again if I’m able.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  And though he knew she was only acting out of self preservation, he could have sworn that she actually meant it.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Tell me again what we have to do,” Kat said, wishing she felt a little less weak and nervous. She’d spent the night cuddled between Lock and Deep, in a nice, nonsexual way. The contact should have boosted her energy, but somehow she still felt off her game. At least the headache hadn’t come back, though—she didn’t think she could stand to go through what they were about to do with that rusty iron spike in her brain.

  They had spent the day being feasted and stared at by the natives. Then, as evening drew near, all of them had bathed separately in the sacred golden waters of the holy stream in preparation for the night. Kat had been avoiding the thought of the coming ceremony, but she couldn’t help thinking of it now as she arranged the ceremonial outfit she’d been given to wear.

  Her native haute couture appeared to be made mostly of leaves and flowers and was tied on by vines. It made her feel like Jane from the old Tarzan movies and not in a good way. She was nervous because she didn’t have on anything under it. So any strong breeze was likely to equal a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions.

  Deep and Lock had on leafy loincloth things too, but on them the leaf look was somehow hot. Their broad, sculpted chests and long, muscular legs seemed made to be exposed. They looked like Greek gods that had come to life right down to the strategically placed fig leaves. Of course, pretty soon she was going to be looking under those fig leaves. Don’t kid yourself, Kat—you’re going to be dong more than looking, whispered a little voice in her head. Kat tried to push it away but it wouldn’t go. She couldn’t quite believe what she was about to do, but it seemed to be their only way out, so she had no choice.

  “We’ll be reenacting the courtship of the sun and the moons,” Lock said, interrupting her nervous musings. He patted her shoulder comfortingly. “The chief will be reciting the legend in their common speech so hopefully your convo-pillar will be able to translate. Just do exactly as the chief says and everything will be all right.”

  “Yes, but what exactly is the chief going to say?” Kat asked, vainly trying to rearrange her leaves for maximum coverage. God, this is ridiculous! I feel like I’m wearing a salad—I’d get more coverage from a g-string bikini.

  “We discussed this last night—you know the legend,” Deep growled. “It’s mainly going to be a lot of kissing and tasting but there’s likely to be penetration too. It just depends on these people’s version of the tale.”

  “Will we…” Kat swallowed hard. “Is this going to seal the bond between us?” The prospect wasn’t as frightening as it had been. She and Deep seemed to be on better terms now, though she wished their talk in the cave hadn’t been interrupted. But she still wasn’t sure about the idea of being tied to the brothers for life.

  Deep seemed to sense her hesitation. He frowned. “That shouldn’t be necessary. Though you may have to allow us to penetrate you.”

  Kat swallowed hard. “Both at…at the same time?”

  “No.” Lock shook his head firmly. “We won’t go that far, my lady, I swear it. At most Deep and I will enter you one at a time and then only briefly, for the purpose of the reenactment.”

  “We won’t fuck you or come in you if that makes you feel any better,” Deep said harshly. His blunt words made Kat’s heart skip a beat.

  “Oh my God. Okay. All right.” Kat took a deep breath. “I can handle this. I can.”

  “Of course you can.” Deep’s voice went from harsh to unexpectedly gentle. “You know Lock and I would never hurt you, little Kat.”

  “Yes, I know.” Kat had a sudden thought. “But won’t it hurt you? I mean, to be so…uh, intimate with me if only one of you is involved?”

  “As long as we’re both making contact with you it won’t matter that one of us is touching you more…intimately than the other.” Lock coughed. “If you know what I mean.”

  “I think so.” Kat nodded.

  “So if Lock has to penetrate you, I’ll be holding you,” Deep explained. “The same way we did the night after you ate the bonding fruit. Remember?”

  “How could I forget?” Her uninhibited behavior that night still made Kat’s cheeks hot. But I’m about to get a whole lot more uninhibited now, she told herself unhappily. We’re about to put on a live three-way sex show here for Chief Pervert and his band of merry men. Crap, how am I going to do this?

  “My lady…” Lock took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “It’s going to be all right,” he murmured. “We’re going to get through this together.”

  Kat saw the sincerity in his deep brown eyes and felt a little of her anxiety melt along with her heart. Why did Lock have to be so sweet and easy to trust? It made refusing to be with them permanently even harder. “Yes, all right,” she whispered. “I know.”

  “And though it may strengthen the bond we already have—the soul bond, I swear it won’t form a physical bond,” Deep added, also looking at her. “I know that’s what you’re afraid of, but you don’t need to worry.”

  Kat wasn’t sure what to say to that. She could feel the hurt radiating from Deep, the longing she had felt after their first joining, when he’d asked her to stay the night with him and Lock. Part of her wanted to hug him and give him hope—to let him know that she was becoming more open to the idea of bonding with them. But another part—a deeper part—was cautious.

  She well remembered the times in her parents’ marriage when her father and mother would seem to make up. For weeks—once even for months—the constant bickering would stop and there would be peace between them. Kat would always get her hopes up that this would be the time they would lear
n to love each other…and then everything would blow up and things would be worse than before.

  I can’t risk that, she thought, seeing the need in Deep’s black eyes, feeling the desire from both of them. I have to be absolutely sure before I let myself get into something I can never get out of.

  “I’m sorry,” she said at last, looking up at Deep. “Really sorry.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for.” Lock stroked her cheek gently. “We know how you feel, my lady. And neither of us blames you for it.”

  But Kat was very much afraid that Deep did blame her—and there was nothing she could do about it. He was silent, however, as he bent and kissed her forehead.

  Then their guards came to the door of the hut and motioned. “The full moons shine down. The chief awaits your pleasure. Come do her bidding,” said the short, husky one who had taken Kat prisoner in the first place.

  Her? Kat decided her convo-pillar must be acting up again. She nodded at the guard, trying unsuccessfully to smile. God, if I never hear another haiku again it’ll be too soon!

  “All right, we’re coming.” Deep and Lock put her between them. Then, with Lock leading the way and Deep bringing up the rear, they left the grass hut and followed the guards.

  The sun had just finished setting and there was still a warm pinkish-orange glow in the deep purple sky as they walked. A soft breeze played over her face, caressing her with the exotic scent of foreign flowers. Kat wondered where the twin moons were— she still didn’t see anything in the sky but the white pinpricks of the stars.

  Somewhere out there is Earth, she thought. I’ve never been so far away from home in all my life. The thought made her feel lonely and homesick so she tried not to dwell on it. After all, I’ll be going back soon. Back to the Mother ship to see Liv and Sophie. As soon as we do this little show the natives will set us free. Then we’ll find the stupid fi-fi flower, get the meds from Mother L’rin, and I’ll be back with the girls eating Ben and Jerry’s and catching up on the latest gossip before you know it.

  She tried not to imagine how she would feel once she took Mother L’rin’s medicine and was truly and permanently separated from both Deep and Lock. Even two days before she would have felt only relief to be parted from them. Now she wasn’t so sure…

  Kat refused to let herself think about it. Instead she looked around at the lush, Twin Moons landscape and thought about how oddly familiar their surroundings looked. Come to think of it, where they were looked exactly like…

  “Hey,” she said in a low voice. “Aren’t we back in the holy meadow?”

  Lock looked around. “It would appear so.”

  “So this is where we’re supposed to, uh, do our thing?”

  Deep shrugged. “I guess so.”

  Kat put a hand on her hip, thoroughly pissed off. “So their precious meadow is too holy to walk on but it’s okay to have a three-way screw session on it?”

  “It’s not just a ‘three-way screw session,’” Lock said, mild reproof in his deep voice. “The legend we’re enacting is holy to all of us on Twin Moons—not just the natives. It explains how we became the people we are—why we are born as twins and need to share a single female between us.”

  “Sorry,” Kat felt abashed. “I didn’t mean to make fun of your Adam and Eve story. Or I guess in this case, Adam and Eve and Steve. Or whatever.”

  “It’s all right.” Lock smiled at her. “I just wanted you to know that what we’re doing tonight is more than just the chief’s erotic whim. It’s sacred to us—a beautiful thing, if you can bring yourself to see it that way.”

  Kat swallowed. “I’ll try,” she said softly. “But I didn’t know we were performing a sacrament. I’m afraid I’d make a lousy alter boy.”

  “A what kind of boy did you say?” Lock frowned.

  “She’s just making a joke because she’s nervous,” Deep said, coming unexpectedly to her rescue. “Go easy on her, Brother. This is hard for our little Kat.”

  Harder than you know, Kat thought, but didn’t say aloud. Their native guards were gesturing at them now and pointing to a circular clump of bushes to one side of the meadow. She and Deep and Lock walked over to the leafy clump and Kat was surprised when there was a sudden rustling and three pink skinned natives appeared from behind the bushes.

  Two of them were male warriors with the usual leaf loincloths. But the third was clearly female. Despite her diminutive stature, she stood straight and tall, with the regal bearing of royalty. She had thick, lustrous black hair that reached to her ankles and she was wearing the same kind of leaf/flower/vine dress that Kat had on. In her hand was a green wooden scepter tipped with the deadly clear crystal all the native warriors had in their knives.

  “Behold.” Lock bowed low to the regal female. “The chief.”

  “A woman?” Kat asked doubtfully as she and Deep followed Lock’s lead and bowed. “But I thought the chief was a man.”

  Deep frowned. “Why would you think that? We are a matriarchal society, you know—even the natives.”

  “Especially the natives,” Lock murmured softly, watching as the chief conferred with the two males Kat assumed must be her mates. “They worship and revere their females almost as goddesses. Which of course, is as it should be.”

  Kat shook her head. “You guys…I swear, if more Earth girls knew about Twin Moons, your whole planet would be completely overrun with desperate females looking to be Kindred brides.”

  “I don’t think so.” Deep’s voice was unexpectedly harsh. “We frighten your kind, Kat. Frighten them to death.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded in a low voice. “If you have something to say—”

  His eyes flashed. “Nothing you want to hear, I’m sure.”

  “Be silent.” Lock’s voice was unusually sharp. “The chief wishes to speak.”

  “Visitors from the land beyond, we bid thee welcome,” the chief said in a low, melodious voice.

  Kat counted the syllables silently. Good—no more haikus! Maybe because she’s a woman? Who knows…

  “Thou art indeed most welcome, though thou camest as trespassers upon our holy soil,” the chief continued and Kat sighed inwardly. Apparently, the convo-pillar had traded Japanese poetry for Old English mumbo-jumbo. But at least she’s understandable. And she doesn’t sound like Yoda—that’s always a good thing.

  “We are pleased to do your bidding, blessed one,” Lock said, bowing deeply again. “If by our sacrifice of pleasure we can make your full moons festival more sacred, then we gladly give of ourselves.”

  Speak for yourself! Kat thought. From the dark look on Deep’s face, he was thinking much the same. The two of them remained silent, however and Kat couldn’t help thinking it was a good thing they had Lock to do the talking. He was really sweet and kind and honest but he could also, apparently, be a silver-tongued negotiator when he put his mind to it. It gave her new respect for the light twin, who could be sometimes overshadowed by his brother’s dark moods.

  “Thy coming was foreordained by the stars,” the chief said, nodding her head at Kat. “A sunfire goddess searching for the sacred blossom, and her mates, light and dark, as the moons above.” She lifted her hands to the heavens and Kat looked up instinctively. What she saw nearly took her breath away.

  High above them were two huge moons. One was a brilliant, silvery white and the other was so black it looked like an onyx orb in the sky. Both were many times bigger than Earth’s moon and the white one shed an eerie, otherworldly light over the holy meadow. Kat couldn’t understand how she hadn’t seen them before. They had either risen very quickly or she had been too involved in the conversation with Deep and Lock and the chief to notice. But now that she had seen them, she couldn’t look away.

  “Oh,” she whispered reverently. “They’re beautiful.”

  “Dakir and Lanare,” the chief said softly. “The twin lovers of Nyra, our beloved sun. But how came the fiery maiden to choose them both? Tonight shall we speak o
f these things and show them again for the pleasure of all.”

  “You mean we’re going to show them,” Deep muttered, frowning.

  The chief caught his words and nodded. “Indeed, warrior. Your brother has told me of your quest. Know this—if thou please the gods with thy sacrifice, the holy meadow shall burst into blossom and the fifilalachuchu flower shall be thine.”

  “Really?” Kat looked around the meadow eagerly, but she saw nothing except the little yellow and blue flowers she’d woven into a crown the day before. “Where are they?”

  “They shall not bloom unless thy sacrifice is pleasing.” The chief sounded stern. “See to it that it is.”

  “Of course we shall,” Lock said smoothly. “How do you wish us to perform, oh blessed one?”

  “My mates and I shall sit here, behind the screen of leaves.” The chief gestured to the flowering bushes behind them. “I shall speak the sacred words and thou must act upon them. See that thou givest proper sacrifice—the gods themselves are as we shall be—seeing but unseen.” She nodded at them regally and then stepped back behind the bushes. Her mates followed her and, after a brief rustling of leaves, the three of them were completely concealed.

  Seeing but unseen, Kat thought. Well, at least that’s a little less intimidating than if they were all standing over us watching. I guess if we have to do this—

  “In the dawn of time, from the emptiness of the great black void, was born a beautiful elite maiden, with the curves of a goddess and fiery red hair,” the chief’s low, musical voice began, interrupting her thoughts. “Her name was Nyra.”

  “Oh, uh…” Kat wasn’t sure if she was supposed to act out being born or what. But luckily, the chief was already speaking again.

  “She moved through the void seeking for her mate, seeking in all directions.”

  Feeling like she was back at summer camp, playing charades, Kat shaded her eyes with one hand and pantomimed looking everywhere.