Bet Me

  Wet stood in front of them beside the arch, and then the processional started, and she gave her bustle one final twitch, sniffed, broke into a rigid smile, took a step forward, and turned into the chapel.

  Worse moved forward, stood counting until it was her turn, blew a kiss to Di, took a step, smiled a broad cheerleader smile, and turned into the chapel.

  Min looked back at Di. “You are my sister, and I am with you no matter what. If you want out of this, I will get you out.”

  “Min?” her father said, startled, and Di shook her head.

  “Okay.” Min picked up the count from the music, plastered a smile on her face, took a step, and turned into the chapel.

  Something caught at her bustle and left her stuck, leaning into the archway in mid-step. She looked behind her and saw Di’s hand clutching the lavender chiffon ruffles on her butt.

  “Diana?” her father said, bewilderment in his voice.

  Min stepped back. “Daddy, go smile in the archway so they know everything’s all right.” She pried Di’s hand off her ruffles and towed her out onto the church steps into the waning light. “Talk.”

  Di’s bouquet trembled in her hands. “Greg slept with my bridesmaid.”

  “Susie?” Min said, not surprised but sick just the same. “I knew she—”

  “Worse,” Di said.”

  “How could it be worse?” Min said and then the other shoe dropped. “Karen?”

  Di nodded.

  “Oh,” Min said, trying to think of what to say as her rage rose. “Oh, honey.” She put her arm around Di. “Tell me this was before he proposed to you and not—”

  “Last night,” Di whispered, and Min took a deep breath, corset or not.

  “Son of a fucking bitch.”

  “Thank you,” Di said, and sniffed.

  “That whore, I swear I’ll rip out every hair on her goddamn head.” Min held Di tighter. “I’ll nail her fucking chignon to the church door, the miserable bitch. And Dad will take Greg apart. He’s been wanting to for months.”

  Di sniffed back a sob.

  “We’ll take care of you,” Min said. “You are not alone. Liza and Bonnie—” She broke off, realizing that flaunting her friends wasn’t the best move now, trying to imagine how she’d feel if either of one them betrayed her, if Liza slept with Cal, and it was incomprehensible, it couldn’t happen, they’d never—

  “I watched you and Cal last night,” Di said, tears blurring her eyes, “and you were so perfect for each other, you were just you, laughing and whispering together, you didn’t have to be anybody else, thin or anything, he loves you just for being you, and I wanted to talk to Greg, I wanted to be that with him, too, so when you fell asleep, I drove over to his apartment, and they were in the bedroom.” Her face crumpled. “They weren’t even on the bed.”

  Min put both arms around her and held her close. “And Karen’s blowing you kisses today. The skanky whore.”

  “They don’t know I know,” Di said into her shoulder. “They didn’t see me. I backed out.”

  “That was very mature,” Min said, gritting her teeth. “I would have put blood on the walls. Okay, I’ll go stop the wedding—”

  “No,” Di said, straightening fast. Her pearl-studded corset rose and fell as she sucked in air. “No, no. No.”

  “What?” Min said.

  “No,” Diana said. “I’m ready to go.”

  “Okay, I admire how you’ve handled this,” Min said, trying to sound calm, “but I think actually marrying the son of a bitch may be carrying maturity too far.”

  “I have to,” Di said, breathless. “It’s all planned. There are presents. Bonnie put pearls on a cake.”

  “I’ll eat the cake,” Min said. “I’ll send the presents back. I’ll even maim the groom for you.”

  “No,” Di said. “It wasn’t . . . He wasn’t . . . It was just pre-wedding jitters. We’ll be fine.”

  “Di.” Min took as deep a breath as possible and tried to sound calm. “Pre-wedding jitters means he panics at the bachelor party. It doesn’t mean he fucks your best friend.”

  Di shook her head. “No, no. Not everybody finds a Cal. Greg is a good man. He just . . . panicked. I’m getting married.” She swallowed. “I just had to tell somebody. It’s a relief to tell somebody.”

  “Oh.” Min felt sick. “Okay. But if you change your mind at any time, in the middle of the ceremony, in the middle of your honeymoon, in the middle of the birth of your first child, I will be there to help you leave. You say the word and we’re gone. You are not alone.” She tried to take another breath and her corset fought back. “Listen, are you sure? Because I—”

  Di nodded. “I just had to tell somebody. I’m okay.”

  “Wonderful,” Min said, “I’m not.” She waited another beat for her to back down, but Di walked past her into the vestibule, leaving her nothing to do but follow.

  Min smiled at her father, who looked crazed, took her place in the arch, and started down the aisle, vaguely aware that David and Cynthie were in a pew together looking tense, that Bonnie and Liza were in the third pew from the altar sending her “What the hell?” looks, that Cal was in the second row staring fascinated at her neckline, and that Greg-the-bastard was up at the front looking annoyed. Die, you treacherous scum-sucking pig, she thought, and that was so inadequate she began to think of other things, not realizing she was scowling until she saw Cal’s eyes widen and Greg take a step back.

  She smoothed out her face. Okay, there was that “show just cause or hold your peace” moment for stopping weddings, the escape clause. She could say something there. But if she did, she’d ruin Di’s wedding, and she had a feeling the wedding was more important to her sister than the marriage. And even if it wasn’t, it was Di’s choice. Min was not going to be her mother, running Di’s life for her.

  She took her place beside Worse at the front of the church and thought about smacking her in the face with her bouquet. Maybe she could say she’d slipped. A couple of times.

  Worse sighed and shook her head at Min, pointing at her own wreath.

  Bitch whore, Min thought, and straightened her wreath.

  The wedding march kicked in, and Min turned and watched as Diana started down the aisle, a Hollywood vision with the sun shining behind her like a blessing.

  Her face was lost, and Min’s heart broke for her.

  Min turned away and saw Cal frowning at her. He mouthed “What?” at her and she shook her head, almost in tears. Not even he could fix this one.

  Di reached the front of the church, the ceremony began, and after a while people began to stir in their seats. They know something’s wrong, Min thought. They weren’t getting that happiness buzz people were supposed to get at weddings. Even Di’s bustle looked tragic.

  Then the minister said, “If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak,” and Min took a step closer to her sister.

  Di turned to look at her, and Min met her eyes. “Do it.”

  After a moment, the minister nodded, and began the vows.

  Di reached out and clutched Min’s arm and whispered, “I do,” and Min sighed in relief.

  “Not yet, dear,” the minister whispered back.

  “No,” Min said to him. “That’s not what she means.” She nodded at Diana again. “Do it.”

  Di swallowed. “I object,” she said, but her voice was so faint that the minister leaned forward.

  “She objects,” Min said loudly.

  “To what?” Greg said.

  “To you, you traitorous son of a bitch,” Min said, and heard a gasp from the front pews. Loud voice, loud voice, she told herself. Not your loud voice. Then she looked at Greg again, and thought, Hell, yes, my loud voice.

  “I object,” Di said, her voice up to room temperature again. She turned so she was facing the pews. “I object to the groom sleeping with my bridesmaid last night. I object to the groom being a—” Her voice broke.

  “Chea
ting, scum-sucking pig,” Min said to Greg behind Di’s back, definitely in her loud voice.

  “Yes,” Di said, and walked down the steps, her bouquet quivering.

  “Also, your hair is stupid,” Min said to Greg, and started down the chapel steps after her sister. Greg caught her arm, and said, “Wait a minute—” and she swung back to let him have it, and then Cal was between them, shouldering Greg aside. Behind them Wet said to Worse, “You slept with Greg?,” and then somebody tapped Greg on the shoulder just as Wet lunged for Worse, and Greg turned around and met George’s fist as Wet yanked hard on Worse’s chignon, and Worse went ass over elbow into the front pew.

  Cal caught Greg by the shoulders just before he hit the ground, and they both looked up to see Nanette, coming at them, exquisite in pearl gray.

  “You’re a horrible man,” she said to Greg, and kicked him in the ribs with her pointed Manolo Blahniks.

  “Mother,” Min said.

  Nanette said, “Thirty-seven goddamn years,” kicking him on every word, until Min pulled her away. She staggered sideways and ended up facing George, who was trying to get past Cal to hit Greg again. “And you, too,” Nanette said and smacked him in the head with her purse.

  George put his hands up to ward her off and said, “What did I do?” and she stormed down the aisle, her head held high.

  Behind George’s back, Wet said, “You bastard,” to Greg and began to hit him in the face with her bouquet while Worse tried to crawl out of the pew.

  “I have to go to Di,” Min said to Cal. “Step on his head, will you?”

  “Go,” Cal said, and the last thing she saw as she turned for the door was Cal dropping Greg on the carpet to block George from hitting him again while Wet whaled on him with her orchids.

  Cal found Min at the reception, since Di had insisted on going to meet anybody who might show up. They were sitting in the mostly deserted ballroom with Liza, Bonnie, and an entirely too cheerful Wet, while Roger ferried champagne back and forth and Nanette consoled Di with the news that all men were cheating scum.

  “Mother,” Min said, and Cal took her hand and pulled her out into the hall with him.

  “My mother is insane,” Min said to him.

  “You just noticed?” Cal said, trying not to be distracted by her bulging neckline. “That looks like it hurts.”

  “It does,” Min said. “I’ve spent the entire day in bondage.” She peered back through the archway. “Look at Wet. She’s in there giggling. To think that I ever felt sorry for that wench. Did you need me for something?”

  “Yes,” Cal said, getting a little dizzy as her cleavage rose and fell. “Especially now that you brought up bondage. When can you take that off?”

  “I think I could lose it now, except the knots are so tight I can’t get them undone.” She ran her finger around the top of the corset, and Cal thought, Let me do that. “It’s killing me.”

  “Wait,” Cal said, and fished in his pocket for his pocketknife.

  He slipped the knife under the bow and sliced through the ribbon, and Min took a deep breath as the rest of the corset began to unlace itself from the pressure. “Oh, Lord, that feels good.”

  Cal watched the rise and fall of her loosened corset. “Looks good, too.” Even though he knew better, he drew his finger down the slope of her breast and felt the need for her that had been simmering for weeks flare up again.

  If he didn’t have her soon, he was going to lose his mind.

  She said, “Hey,” and caught his hand.

  “Not my fault,” he said, close to her mouth. “You were flaunting.”

  Her mouth melted under his, warm with familiarity, and her breath came faster as his hand curled around the firmness of her breast. “Oh,” she said, and he kissed his way down the smooth curve of her neck and felt her sigh under his hand. “Oh, that feels so good. But I have to—”

  “I know,” he said, holding on to her. “I shouldn’t have—” He kissed her again, wanting her so much that he couldn’t let go.

  “Yes, you should have,” Min said, against his mouth. “But Di—”

  “Right,” Cal said, remembering his mission. “That’s what I came to tell you. One of the ushers has Greg out in the car. Does Diana want to see him before he goes? He wants to apologize.”

  “Hell, no,” Min said, pulling away from him. “What can he possibly say?”

  “ ‘I’m the biggest cliché in bad wedding stories’?” Cal said, missing her warmth. “If it helps, the ushers are disgusted with him, too.”

  “I hate him,” Min said, looking back into the ballroom.

  “How is she?” Cal said, following her eyes to her sister, feeling guilty that he was having carnal thoughts while Di was in misery.

  “I think she’s almost relieved,” Min said, watching her. “Not happy, and she’s going to cry, but I think she knew she wanted the wedding and not Greg.”

  “Very sensible of her,” Cal said. “Who would want Greg?”

  Min stretched up and kissed him. “I’m staying with her tonight.”

  “I figured,” Cal said, hating it anyway. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. “I want you, Minerva.”

  “I’m free tomorrow night,” she said, smiling up at him. “Go get rid of that jerk and come back for champagne.”

  “Be right back,” Cal said, and kissed her again, surprised all over again that it was so easy, that everything with her had become so easy. That can’t be right, he thought, but he grinned anyway as he went to tell the ushers they could remove Greg.

  On his way back from the car, Cal ran into David.

  “I think the reception’s over, David,” Cal said, trying not to snarl. “You can go home now.”

  “I can’t,” David said, looking noble. “There’s something you should know.”

  Oh, hell, Cal thought and said, “What?”

  “That bet we made,” David said, “the one where you could get Min into bed in a month.”

  “What?” Cal looked at him, confused. “What bet? We didn’t make that bet. That was you, being drunk and reckless.”

  “Min knows,” David said, and Cal felt a chill. “She overheard it that night, that’s why she went out with you, to pay us both back and to get a date to this fiasco. They all knew, Liza, Bonnie, her sister, she told everybody. They’ve all been laughing at us.”

  The hallway suddenly seemed too narrow, not enough air, and it was much too cold for June.

  “I had to tell you because if she knows about it, the bet’s off. You never had a chance to win. She’s been playing you the whole time.”

  “No,” Cal said, his throat tight. “She wouldn’t.” The familiar slug of shame and self-loathing hit him—how stupid can you be?—even while common sense told him this was David making trouble, that Min wouldn’t do that—

  “Face it,” David said, clapping him on the shoulder. “She made fools of us. Well, you more than me because I wasn’t trying to get her into bed, but I feel pretty stupid, too.”

  Cal looked at him with loathing. “At last, some self-knowledge.” She knew. She thinks I’m stupid.

  “Hey.” David held his hands up. “Don’t turn on me. I’m not the one who’s been making you look stupid for a month.”

  Cal flinched and then turned and walked away, back into the reception hall. It wasn’t true, Min wasn’t like that, she wouldn’t do that, except that suddenly a lot of things that had been inexplicable now made sense.

  He walked across the almost-deserted reception hall to where Min was trying to shield Diana from Nanette. “Could I talk to you for a minute?” he said.

  Min looked up from Diana and said, “Now isn’t—”

  “Now,” Cal said, and Min’s eyes widened and she nodded. “I’ll be right back, baby,” she said to Diana, and let him draw her out into the hall, casting anxious looks back to her sister as she went.

  “Is it Greg?” she said when they were in the hall where she could still keep an eye on Diana. “Did he
—”

  “Why did you go to dinner with me that first night?” Cal said.

  “What?” Min said, so surprised she stopped looking at Di.

  “Tell me the truth.”

  Min straightened. “I went . . .” She looked away from him and shook her head. “I went because you made a bet with David you could get me into bed in a month, and I needed a date for this wedding. And then we went out and you were so slick I knew I couldn’t stand that for three weeks and I thanked you for dinner and went home. And why we have to talk about this now is beyond me.”

  “Why in hell would you keep going out with me if you thought I’d do that?” Cal said, a month’s worth of frustration morphing into anger. “For the sport? Was it funny?”

  “No,” Min said, sounding annoyed. “That’s why I kept turning you down. Could we discuss this la—”

  “So,” Cal said. “You turned me down to make a fool of me, and you and Bonnie and Liza sat around and laughed about it.”

  “No,” Min said, exasperated. “We thought you were slime. It wasn’t funny at all.”

  “Ah,” Cal said, nodding at her. “This is why Liza kept hitting me.”

  “Yes. But I don’t care.” She spat the last word from between her teeth. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “You care,” Cal said, grimly. “You’re mad as hell. That’s why you’ve been playing me, making me crazy for you, making me look like—”

  “Hey,” Min said, pointing her finger at him. “I have been completely honest with you.”

  “You never asked me about the bet,” Cal said.

  “Yeah, I did,” Min said, folding her arms. “And you ducked it every time I asked.”

  “No, you didn’t ask.” Cal folded his arms. “And you know how I know? Because I’d have told you I didn’t make that bet.”

  “I was standing right there,” Min said.

  “Then you didn’t listen very well,” Cal said. “I told him no.”

  “You said, ‘Piece of cake,’ ” Min snapped.