Quo Vadis: A Narrative of the Time of Nero

  Chapter XXX

  Caesar, on returning to Rome, was angry because he had returned, andafter some days was filled anew with a wish to visit Achaea. He evenissued an edict in which he declared that his absence would be short,and that public affairs would not be exposed to detriment because of it.In company with Augustians, among whom was Vinicius, he repaired to theCapitol to make offerings to the gods for an auspicious journey. But onthe second day, when he visited the temple of Vesta, an event took placewhich changed all his projects. Nero feared the gods, though he did notbelieve in them; he feared especially the mysterious Vesta, who filledhim with such awe that at sight of the divinity and the sacred fire hishair rose on a sudden from terror, his teeth chattered, a shiverran through his limbs, and he dropped into the arms of Vinicius, whohappened there behind him. He was borne out of the temple at once, andconveyed to the Palatine, where he recovered soon, but did not leave thebed for that day. He declared, moreover, to the great astonishment ofthose present, that he deferred his journey, since the divinity hadwarned him secretly against haste. An hour later it was announcedthroughout Rome that Caesar, seeing the gloomy faces of the citizens, andmoved by love for them, as a father for his children, would remainto share their lot and their pleasures. The people, rejoiced atthis decision, and certain also that they would not miss games anda distribution of wheat, assembled in crowds before the gates ofthe Palatine, and raised shouts in honor of the divine Caesar, whointerrupted the play at dice with which he was amusing himself withAugustians, and said:

  "Yes, there was need to defer the journey. Egypt, and predicted dominionover the Orient, cannot escape me; hence Achaea, too, will not be lost.I will give command to cut through the isthmus of Corinth; I will rearsuch monuments in Egypt that the pyramids will seem childish toys incomparison; I will have a sphinx built seven times greater than thatwhich is gazing into the desert outside Memphis; but I will command thatit have my face. Coming ages will speak only of that monument and ofme."

  "With thy verses thou hast reared a monument to thyself already, notseven, but thrice seven, times greater than the pyramid of Cheops," saidPetronius.

  "But with my song?" inquired Nero.

  "Ah! if men could only build for thee a statue, like that of Memnon, tocall with thy voice at sunrise! For all ages to come the seas adjoiningEgypt would swarm with ships in which crowds from the three parts of theworld would be lost in listening to thy song."

  "Alas! who can do that?" said Nero.

  "But thou canst give command to cut out of basalt thyself driving aquadriga."

  "True! I will do that!"

  "Thou wilt bestow a gift on humanity."

  "In Egypt I will marry the Moon, who is now a widow, and I shall be agod really."

  "And thou wilt give us stars for wives; we will make a newconstellation, which will be called the constellation of Nero. But dothou marry Vitelius to the Nile, so that he may beget hippopotamuses.Give the desert to Tigellinus, he will be king of the jackals."

  "And what dost thou predestine to me?" inquired Vatinius.

  "Apis bless thee! Thou didst arrange such splendid games in Beneventumthat I cannot wish thee ill. Make a pair of boots for the sphinx, whosepaws must grow numb during night-dews; after that thou will make sandalsfor the Colossi which form the alleys before the temples. Each one willfind there a fitting occupation. Domitius Afer, for example, will betreasurer, since he is known for his honesty. I am glad, Caesar, whenthou art dreaming of Egypt, and I am saddened because thou hast deferredthy plan of a journey."

  "Thy mortal eyes saw nothing, for the deity becomes invisible towhomever it wishes," said Nero. "Know that when I was in the temple ofVesta she herself stood near me, and whispered in my ear, 'Defer thejourney.' That happened so unexpectedly that I was terrified, though forsuch an evident care of the gods for me I should be thankful."

  "We were all terrified," said Tigellinus, "and the vestal Rubriafainted."

  "Rubria!" said Nero; "what a snowy neck she has!"

  "But she blushed at sight of the divine Caesar--"

  "True! I noticed that myself. That is wonderful. There is somethingdivine in every vestal, and Rubria is very beautiful.

  "Tell me," said he, after a moment's meditation, "why people fear Vestamore than other gods. What does this mean? Though I am the chief priest,fear seized me to-day. I remember only that I was falling back, andshould have dropped to the ground had not some one supported me. Who wasit?"

  "I," answered Vinicius.

  "Oh, thou 'stern Mars'! Why wert thou not in Beneventum? They told methat thou wert ill, and indeed thy face is changed. But I heard thatCroton wished to kill thee? Is that true?"

  "It is, and he broke my arm; but I defended myself."

  "With a broken arm?"

  "A certain barbarian helped me; he was stronger than Croton."

  Nero looked at him with astonishment. "Stronger than Croton? Art thoujesting? Croton was the strongest of men, but now here is Syphax fromEthiopia."

  "I tell thee, Caesar, what I saw with my own eyes."

  "Where is that pearl? Has he not become king of Nemi?"

  "I cannot tell, Caesar. I lost sight of him."

  "Thou knowest not even of what people he is?"

  "I had a broken arm, and could not inquire for him."

  "Seek him, and find him for me."

  "I will occupy myself with that," said Tigellinus.

  But Nero spoke further to Vinicius: "I thank thee for having supportedme; I might have broken my head by a fall. On a time thou wert a goodcompanion, but campaigning and service with Corbulo have made thee wildin some way; I see thee rarely.

  "How is that maiden too narrow in the hips, with whom thou wert inlove," asked he after a while, "and whom I took from Aulus for thee?"

  Vinicius was confused, but Petronius came to his aid at that moment. "Iwill lay a wager, lord," said he, "that he has forgotten. Dost thou seehis confusion? Ask him how many of them there were since that time, andI will not give assurance of his power to answer. The Vinicius are goodsoldiers, but still better gamecocks. They need whole flocks. Punishhim for that, lord, by not inviting him to the feast which Tigellinuspromises to arrange in thy honor on the pond of Agrippa."

  "I will not do that. I trust, Tigellinus, that flocks of beauty will notbe lacking there."

  "Could the Graces be absent where Amor will be present?" answeredTigellinus.

  "Weariness tortures me," said Nero. "I have remained in Rome at the willof the goddess, but I cannot endure the city. I will go to Antium. Iam stifled in these narrow streets, amid these tumble-down houses, amidthese alleys. Foul air flies even here to my house and my gardens. Oh,if an earthquake would destroy Rome, if some angry god would level it tothe earth! I would show how a city should be built, which is the head ofthe world and my capital."

  "Caesar," answered Tigellinus, "thou sayest, 'If some angry god woulddestroy the city,'--is it so?"

  "It is! What then?"

  "But art thou not a god?"

  Nero waved his hand with an expression of weariness, and said,--"Weshall see thy work on the pond of Agrippa. Afterward I go to Antium. Yeare all little, hence do not understand that I need immense things."

  Then he closed his eyes, giving to understand in that way that he neededrest. In fact, the Augustians were beginning to depart. Petronius wentout with Vinicius, and said to him,--"Thou art invited, then, to sharein the amusement. Bronzebeard has renounced the journey, but he will bemadder than ever; he has fixed himself in the city as in his own house.Try thou, too, to find in these madnesses amusement and forgetfulness.Well! we have conquered the world, and have a right to amuse ourselves.Thou, Marcus, art a very comely fellow, and to that I ascribe in partthe weakness which I have for thee. By the Ephesian Diana! if thoucouldst see thy joined brows, and thy face in which the ancient bloodof the Quirites is evident! Others near thee looked like freedmen. True!were it not for that mad religion, Lygia would be in thy house to-day.Attempt once more to prove to me tha
t they are not enemies of life andmankind. They have acted well toward thee, hence thou mayst be gratefulto them; but in thy place I should detest that religion, and seekpleasure where I could find it. Thou art a comely fellow, I repeat, andRome is swarming with divorced women."

  "I wonder only that all this does not torture thee yet?"

  "Who has told thee that it does not? It tortures me this long time,but I am not of thy years. Besides, I have other attachments which arelacking thee. I love books, thou hast no love for them; I love poetry,which annoys thee; I love pottery, gems, a multitude of things, at whichthou dost not look; I have a pain in my loins, which thou hast not; and,finally, I have found Eunice, but thou hast found nothing similar. Forme, it is pleasant in my house, among masterpieces; of thee I can nevermake a man of aesthetic feeling. I know that in life I shall never findanything beyond what I have found; thou thyself knowest not that thouart hoping yet continually, and seeking. If death were to visit thee,with all thy courage and sadness, thou wouldst die with astonishmentthat it was necessary to leave the world; but I should accept death as anecessity, with the conviction that there is no fruit in the world whichI have not tasted. I do not hurry, neither shall I loiter; I shalltry merely to be joyful to the end. There are cheerful sceptics in theworld. For me, the Stoics are fools; but stoicism tempers men, at least,while thy Christians bring sadness into the world, which in life is thesame as rain in nature. Dost thou know what I have learned? That duringthe festivities which Tigellinus will arrange at the pond of Agrippa,there will be lupanaria, and in them women from the first houses ofRome. Will there be not even one sufficiently beautiful to console thee?There will be maidens, too, appearing in society for the first time--asnymphs. Such is our Roman Caesardom! The air is mild already; the middaybreeze will warm the water and not bring pimples on naked bodies.And thou, Narcissus, know this, that there will not be one to refusethee,--not one, even though she be a vestal virgin."

  Vinicius began to strike his head with his palm, like a man occupiedeternally with one thought.

  "I should need luck to find such a one."

  "And who did this for thee, if not the Christians? But people whosestandard is a cross cannot be different. Listen to me: Greece wasbeautiful, and created wisdom; we created power; and what, to thythinking, can this teaching create? If thou know, explain; for, byPollux! I cannot divine it."

  "Thou art afraid, it seems, lest I become a Christian," said Vinicius,shrugging his shoulders.

  "I am afraid that thou hast spoiled life for thyself. If thou canstnot be a Grecian, be a Roman; possess and enjoy. Our madnesses havea certain sense, for there is in them a kind of thought of our own. Idespise Bronzebeard, because he is a Greek buffoon. If he held himselfa Roman, I should recognize that he was right in permitting himselfmadness. Promise me that if thou find some Christian on returning home,thou wilt show thy tongue to him. If he be Glaucus the physician, hewill not wonder.--Till we meet on the pond of Agrippa."