Pride

  “I’m moving back in the summer,” Kaia pointed out coolly.

  “Of course, of course—well, that’s perfect, then. It’s been lovely hearing from you, darling.”

  “But—”

  “Let’s chat again soon, shall we?”

  And the line went dead.

  Once upon a time, there was a shy young girl who wanted nothing more than to get out of her small-town life and see the world. She thought she’d be trapped in her tiny, boring house forever—and then one magical day, she opened a book. And the whole world changed.

  Beth crumpled up the paper in disgust. It was so melodramatic, so cheesy—so lame. Almost as bad as her first effort:

  My name is Beth Manning and I would love to attend (Your School Here). I am bright and energetic, the editor of my school newspaper, and I think I could make an excellent addition to (Your School Here).

  Yeah, that was great. She might as well just submit a blank page with the heading “I am so boring, I have literally nothing to say for myself. Please admit me, anyway.”

  Out of desperation, she’d checked out How to Write a Winning College Essay from the Grace local library—hoping that even though it was written in 1987, it would still help her get over her writer’s block. But so far? Nothing.

  Be creative, the book urged. Be yourself. Unless “yourself” is weird or just totally bland, Beth thought dispiritedly. Then maybe it was best to be someone else.

  She wondered if Harper was even bothering to fill out her applications (the way things were going, maybe she’d just steal Beth’s). How might her essay read? “I’m Harper Grace, and I’ll be attending your school next year, because I want to—and, let’s be honest, I always get what I want.”

  But Beth was too sickened by the thought of Harper to continue down that road—because that led to Harper-and-Adam, and that usually led to her leaning over the toilet, waiting for a wave of nausea to pass.

  Be honest, the book kept saying. Talk about what you want, what you’re proud of Why you’re special.

  But how was she supposed to do that in an essay when she couldn’t do it in real life? She didn’t seem to know how to be honest about what she wanted anymore—not with Kane, not with Adam, not with herself. And she had no idea who she was anymore. Before, it had been easy. Beth, the good girl. Everyone knew it. But now? She smiled, thinking of how much she’d enjoyed tormenting Harper at the diner, how she’d managed to convince Mr. White to saddle her with the dreaded Christmas shift. Was that the work of a good girl?

  Maybe honesty was the answer after all.

  I used to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend. Then my boyfriend dumped me, I tanked the SATs—and now I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. I do know that I still want a future, and I want it away from here—and that if you take a chance on me, it just might pay off.

  Well… it was a start.

  Just not a good one.

  Mercifully, the phone rang, and although Beth had promised herself no breaks until she’d finished a draft, she leaped to answer it.

  “Hey, it’s me—what are you doing?”

  Beth wondered—was it strange that she’d been dating Kane for over a month and a part of her still found it a little bizarre that he was a part of her life, that they spoke so often that she was expected to recognize his voice? She did, of course—but something about the casual intimacy still threw her off. She just wished she knew why. “Working.” She sighed. “Sort of.”

  “It’s Christmas,” he pointed out.

  “Don’t remind me. My brothers are on a massive sugar high from all the candy canes. From the sound of it, they’re having some kind of shouting contest.”

  “I know, I can hear it.”

  “What? Where—” Beth went over to her window and looked out. Sure enough, Kane was lounging against a tree. He smirked at the sight of her and gave her a languid wave. “What are you doing out there?” she asked, laughing. “Do you want to come in?”

  “Actually…” And in that pause, Beth was reminded of how much Kane hated her house. He’d never said anything, of course, but whenever he stepped inside, she could tell it got to him—the noise, the clutter, the size (or lack thereof). It didn’t usually bother her, but when Kane was there, it felt like a zoo—she was just glad he didn’t think of her as one of the animals.

  “I was hoping you could come out and play,” he said, affecting an innocent little-boy voice.

  Beth giggled.

  “I’ve got all this stuff to do, my essay—”

  “Just for a little break? I’m booooored,” he whined.

  “Well… I do have to give you your Christmas present,” she mused. “And maybe if it were just a quick break.”

  “You can’t resist me,” Kane boasted and, giving her another wave, snapped his phone shut. Beth shook her head. For whatever reason, it was true.

  Victory. He’d gotten her away from her work and out of the house—but was it normal that those be such major triumphs? Never having had a real girlfriend before, Kane didn’t really have any idea how often you were supposed to see her or what you were supposed to do when you did—and with Adam still pouting, he didn’t have anyone to ask.

  While he hadn’t gotten everything—or really, anything—he’d wanted out of Beth up in the mountains, Kane was no quitter, not when it came to beautiful women. And then there was the disconcerting fact that he was actually enjoying her company—fully clothed, out of bed, inches of space between them, and he still wanted her around. It didn’t make any sense.

  Not that there weren’t a few occasional perks.

  “Mmm,” he breathed when they broke from a long kiss hello. “You smell amazing. What is that?”

  “Um.” She blushed and tucked her hair behind her ears—a nervous habit that, Kane was ashamed to admit, he was beginning to find adorable. “Shampoo?”

  “So what’s this I hear about a present?” he asked, taking her hand and leading her down the sidewalk.

  She gave him a playful shove. “You’re such a little kid sometimes—can’t you wait?”

  “I’m nothing if not patient,” he pointed out, only half joking. After all, she had no idea how long he’d waited around for her. Was still waiting.

  “It’s just something little,” she said hesitantly, pulling a small wrapped box from her coat pocket. “I hope you like it.”

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about, babe,” he said, slinging an arm around her. “I’ll love it.”

  He unwrapped the gift. Inside the box lay a CD case, with a picture of the two of them together taped to the cover.

  Total cheese.

  “I … I put together some songs I thought you’d like,” she explained. “You know, music that made me think of you.”

  “Oh, Beth.” He slipped the CD into his pocket and gave her a kiss. It was so hokey, so painfully sincere, so … Beth. “I love it.” And it wasn’t a total lie. “I can’t wait to get home and listen to it.” Except for that part. Kane shuddered to think what kind of lovey-dovey crap Beth might have burned for him.

  “Your present isn’t quite ready yet,” Kane explained, though the truth was, he’d forgotten. It had been a long time since he’d needed to buy someone a Christmas present.

  “Kane, you don’t need to get me anything else,” she complained, fondling the blue cashmere tucked around her neck. “This scarf is so beautiful, and so expensive—”

  He cut her off with a kiss. “Your gift is coming,” he said firmly, “and you’ll love it.” Whatever it turned out to be. “So, what are you up to for the rest of the day?”

  “Kane, it’s Christmas. I’ve got all this family stuff.”

  “Of course you do,” he said heartily. “I knew that.” Though, actually, the idea hadn’t occurred to him. Family. Another stupid tradition he’d forgotten. Along with Christmas lights and presents.

  “What about you? Are you and your father…? Or do you want to come home with me?”

>   “No,” he said hastily. “I’ve got family stuff of my own.” If “family stuff” meant beer and cold pizza alone, wondering if his father would remember it was Christmas and actually come home that night.

  For a second, Kane was tempted. He hadn’t had a real Christmas, a family Christmas, since his mother died. After that, it had been just him and his brother, getting drunk, laughing at the loser carolers, and then, when Aaron went off to college, it was just him. Beth’s Christmas, on the other hand, was probably straight out of a Hallmark commercial: stockings hanging from the mantel, wrapping paper all over the floor, disgusting displays of Christmas spirit. And for a second, Kane was tempted. Why not let Beth play Tiny Tim to his Scrooge, teach him the true meaning of blah, blah, blah.

  The fact that he was getting bored just imagining it? Probably not a great sign.

  Maybe he was too old for Christmas. Maybe he was just over it.

  “Are you sure?” Beth asked dubiously. “Because we’d love to have you. I’d love for you to be there.”

  Kane sighed. Whenever he was around her, he felt like letting down his guard. It was dangerous—and yet strangely appealing. Like a drug he couldn’t stay away from.

  “I’m sure,” he told her, cupping her chin in his hands and tipping her face up toward his for a farewell kiss. Kane believed in drugs—but he didn’t believe in losing control. Which meant it was time to go.

  She had known the bar would be open on Christmas. It was just that kind of place. Dingy, graying, scattered with familiar faces, the faithful pilgrims who came in almost every night, looking for—something. They never found it. But they kept coming back.

  It was a bar for people who had nowhere else to go—especially on Christmas.

  And it was Powell’ favorite.

  After the pleasant chat with her mother, Kaia had needed to get out of the house. Have some fun. And she’d known just where to go. She hadn’t heard from Powell since he’d returned from the ski trip, but she was sure it didn’t mean anything. So he’d had a little fun, and a little ski bunny, while he was away. It’s a free country. It’s not like she hadn’t had a little fun of her own. That night with Reed might have been an aberration, a freakish fluke that could never be repeated—but it had definitely been hot.

  Playtime was over. And Kaia had no doubt that Powell was just waiting for the perfect moment to summon her. The bunny was—must be—history. After all, you don’t trade in caviar for tuna fish, and Kaia was caviar all the way.

  Still, Kaia decided, it couldn’t hurt to show her face, remind him of what he should have been missing. Besides, it was Christmas, and he deserved a holiday treat. Whoever said “’tis better to give than to receive” had obviously never met Kaia Sellers.

  She’d dressed herself in red and green from head to toe: red backless top, green peasant skirt, red kitten heels, and, to top it off, a red velvet ribbon tied around her waist. Aren’t you going to unwrap your present? She rehearsed the line in her head, loving the way the words sounded, and could already see the look on his face. He’d feign annoyance, of course—she was supposed to wait for him to beckon her, that’s what they’d agreed on. Those were the rules. No speaking in public, no dating other guys, no obligations, and, most of all, no surprises.

  According to the rules, she should be sitting home, biding her time, waiting for him to call.

  But Kaia had never been too good with rules.

  She almost walked by the bar—from the outside, it was nothing but a narrow gray cement block, with a small, dark, unmarked door. She swung it open and stood in the doorway, waiting for her eyes to adjust.

  He wasn’t at his normal stool at the end of the bar, nose buried in a book. Instead, he was tucked into one of the few booths lining the wall. He was sipping a glass of red wine. And he wasn’t alone.

  The ski bunny, Kaia thought with disgust. It had to be. She was blond, lithe, limber, her face radiating a gentle, trusting imbecility—and she was perched on Powell’s lap, nuzzling his neck.

  Other girls might have confronted him, or started to cry—or just slunk away into the night. But Kaia was better than that. So she just stood there and watched. Waited.

  Until, finally, he noticed her. While the ski bunny gave his ear a tongue massage, Powell’s eyes met Kaia’s, his expression unreadable. Was that guilt in his eyes? Anger? Dismissal? Fear?

  Kaia didn’t know—and didn’t really care. What Jack Powell felt, what he wanted, was beside the point. She’d let him think he was in charge of their little “relationship”—a nice power trip for him that didn’t cost her anything. But that was over now.

  Powell liked rules so much? Maybe it was time to give him a new set—show him whose game they were really playing. Kaia gave Powell—who hadn’t taken his eyes off her, despite the squirming blonde in his lap—a slow, cruel smile. Then turned around and left the bar.

  Calm down, she instructed herself, taking a few deep breaths and forcing the anger away. She couldn’t get emotionally involved, not if she was going to win this little battle of the wills.

  And she was going to win.

  She always did.

  chapter

  8

  The phone rang twice before he picked it up—just enough time for Harper to change her mind, almost hang up, then reconsider once again. She’d been over and over this in her head and had concluded that, humiliating as it was, she just had no other choice.

  If she was careful, and lucky, her parents would never find out that she’d quit her job—but she still owed them $300, and there were no job openings anywhere in town. So unless she wanted to sell off all her possessions—or her organs—she was stuck. Trapped. With only one very unappealing escape route.

  “Grace—to what do I owe this pleasure?”

  Kane. Supercilious, haughty, but loaded. All she needed to do was ask him—

  But Harper found she couldn’t quite get the words out. Maybe if she did it fast, like a Band-Aid. “I need … a … favor.”

  Or painfully slow could work, too.

  “I’m listening.”

  Harper silently cursed her parents for sticking her in this position. If they’d only given her the money for the ski trip in the first place, no strings attached, she wouldn’t be stuck groveling like this.

  Things could be worse, she reminded herself—she could be abasing herself in front of Kaia. Or worse, Beth. Kane was an ass, and he would probably hold this over her head until graduation, but on the plus side, she didn’t really care what he thought of her. After all, it was Kane. She’d helped him steal his best friend’s girlfriend—so who was he to judge?

  “I need to borrow some money,” she said flatly. “Three hundred dollars.”

  “Whoa,” he whistled. “Dare I ask why?”

  “No.”

  “And when will I be getting this loan repaid, with interest?”

  Good question.

  “I don’t know.”

  Bad answer.

  “Now Grace, pray tell, why would I possibly do this for you?”

  “Because you’ve got no reason not to?” Harper suggested, knowing that, for Kane, it was usually as good a reason as any. And certainly more palatable than throwing herself on his mercy. “Because you might find it amusing to have me in your debt?”

  “Ah, Grace, you know me so well,” he marveled, and Harper breathed a silent sigh of relief. “So when should I deliver this windfall?” Kane asked. “Tonight?”

  “Only if you’re going to be at the basketball game,” Harper said, rolling her eyes. “I have to be there to ‘support my man.’” Vomit. Beth had always been Adam’s eager good luck charm and one-woman cheering section. So Harper was forcing herself to play along—but lame high school sporting events were so not her thing.

  “Just save some of that school spirit for me,” Kane requested.

  “You?”

  “Haven’t you heard? I’m back, baby. Starting point guard, making my varsity debut.”

  “You?” Ha
rper repeated.

  “What? Can’t I lend my many talents to our school’s proudest team? Besides, have you seen those cheerleaders?”

  “What are you really up to, Kane?”

  “What’s the money for, Grace?”

  “Point taken.” She knew it was stupid, but being too poor to pay for the ski trip was just too embarrassing. Better Kane should think she had some dark, nefarious purposes. Keeping up an image was hard work. “So, you can give me a check tonight?”

  “I’ll be there,” Kane promised. “And so will my money. Just one thing, Harper.”

  “What’s that?” she asked, suddenly wary. Kane never called her by her first name.

  “This is a lot of money.”

  “I know, and I’ll pay it back when—”

  “In the meantime,” Kane said, “you owe me.”

  “I just said, I’ll pay you—”

  “No, not money,” he corrected her. “A favor. Quid pro quo. And when I call it in, you’d better be ready to deliver.”

  Miranda answered the phone with a weary sigh. “No,” she said, before Harper could speak.

  “It’ll be fun, Rand, I swear.”

  “Now, where have I heard that before?” But Miranda was smiling. She loved those rare occasions when Harper was forced to beg, and she had to admit, it was good to feel needed again, special … but that didn’t mean she was giving in. “Like I told you the last time you called, and the time before that, I’m not going. Do you know how boring basketball is?”

  “Um, yes,” Harper replied in a “duh” voice. “Why do you think I need you to come with me? Besides, you know that’s not the real reason you won’t go.”

  “Nice of you to throw that back in my face, Harper,” Miranda said in annoyance. She flipped open her computer—waiting for it to emerge from sleep mode so she could check her e-mail. See if he had written. “You know why I can’t go.”