What the Heart Wants

  “It’s your bridesmaid’s gift. Well, in your case, it’s your maid of honor gift.” Chelsea’s voice trailed off when Heaven gazed into her eyes.

  “Mmm—Maid of honor?” Heaven said, tripping over the word. “You want me to be your maid-of-honor?”

  “Of course, I do. Will you?”

  A smile as sweet as summer sunshine melted Heaven’s heart. How could she refuse?

  She couldn’t.

  Even if the thought of standing up before a church full of guests that she didn’t know made her squirm.

  “You know I will.”

  Heaven smiled when Chelsea squealed and crushed her against her chest.

  “Thank you! You just made my day,” Chelsea said as she leaned back. “So…do you like it?”

  Heaven forgot about the gift box in her hand. She finished pulling off the top, gasping when she saw its contents. A beautiful pearl bracelet. Silver links separated each creamy orb. A round silver charm dangled near the clasp with an “H” engraved on it.

  “It’s gorgeous, Chels. I love it. Thank you.” Heaven fought back the moisture collecting in her eyes.

  Her sisters offered similar sentiments as they took turns looking at each other’s bracelets.

  Chelsea focused her attention back on Heaven for a split second and then reached her hand back in the bag.

  “I have something else for you,” she whispered.

  Heaven’s eyes fell to the bag, watching Chelsea with the curiosity of a child on Christmas. Chelsea pulled out a book. The outer cover, made of crushed black velvet, struck a familiar chord in Heaven’s heart.

  “My God. Is that…” She waited as her best friend nodded and handed her the book.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “But, how? How did you end up with it?” Heaven asked as she stroked the velvety cover with her fingers. “I thought I’d lost it.”

  Many private entries filled the pages inside this book. The hobby she had started when she was younger eventually turned into more. The journal became her confidant.

  “I found it when we moved. It was between my mattress and box springs. I can’t believe you don’t remember putting it there?” Chelsea said as her eyes fell to the book. “This journal meant so much to you. Even I got jealous of it.”

  Heaven tried to remember why she took it to her best friend’s house to begin with. The journal contained so many secrets; she rarely took it out in front of anyone, especially Faith.

  Then it hit her.

  “Faith. She snuck in my room and took it. She was trying to embarrass me by reading the pages to everyone at school.”

  “Yep. Thank God, Hope caught her with it before she could do any damage.”

  “That’s the night I stayed with you, and we went to the Homecoming game.”

  The smile on Chelsea’s lips waned. “Yes, and it’s also the night you scared the crap out of me.”

  “How?”

  Wide eyes completed the oh-my-God response from Chelsea’s lips. “You seriously don’t remember waking me in the middle of the night, crying like a—”

  Heaven gasped. “I was crying?”

  Chelsea glanced behind them more before pulling Heaven to the corner.

  “I’m not sure you were fully awake when this happened. All I remember is that I woke up and found you sitting in the bed, crying and writing in the dark.”

  “No way,” Heaven retorted. She couldn’t remember any episodes of sleepwalking or, in this case, sleep writing.

  Chelsea nodded her head, eyes filled to the brim with concern. “Seriously, Hev. It scared the shit out of me. When I asked what you were doing, you mumbled something about ‘he’s leaving when I need him the most.’ You closed the book, tucked it under the mattress, and went back to sleep.”

  Heaven’s chest squeezed.

  Her mind sifted through memories, trying to find the ones she kept tucked away in her subconscious. Why did she have no memory of this dream? Who had she dreamed about? Surely it wasn’t…

  The cackling from her sisters and Brooke gained her attention. She looked to see what they were laughing about, but nothing in particular looked funny. Apparently, Brooke had said something because Faith was playfully smacking her upper arm.

  Heaven’s eyes shifted back to Chelsea. She forced a smile on her face, trying not to let the thought of her weird dreams get the best of her. When she found a free moment, she would dig into the journal and see what secrets lay within it.

  “I guess we’d better get over there before they start asking questions,” Heaven said, still clinging to the journal.

  “Yes, we have to get busy, anyway. I think it’s time that I try on my wedding dress.” Chelsea winked before her smiled disappeared. “Hev, for the record, I never read any of your entries. And the incident with your dream is safe with me. You’ve kept plenty of my secrets. I hope you know that you can trust me with yours.”

  Heaven tensed at the mention of secrets. It was less than an hour ago that she had gotten upset with her best friend for keeping things from her. Now she needed Chelsea to keep tight-lipped. Maybe having secrets wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

  “I know I can, Chels. You will keep my secrets safe the same way I’ve always kept yours. Thank you.”

  Heaven had stepped forward and was walking in the direction of her sisters, when she felt a wave of nausea hit her. Spots danced before her eyes as the room began to spin.

  What in the world?

  “Chels. I don’t feel so well,” she mumbled as she turned back to look at her best friend. “I feel like I’m gonna…”

  “Heaven?” Chelsea called.

  At least she thought it was Chelsea’s voice. Everything around her grew dark like a cloudy sky right before a thunderstorm. The plush, beige carpet engulfed her.

  * * *

  No dangling leaves of a willow tree surrounded them this time. Yet the way he looked at her set Heaven’s skin afire. So many questions sparked to life in his eyes. Questions that spoke volumes without a single word leaving his lips.

  And those lips.

  Her eyes fell to them. A scorching wave swirled in her core like butterflies with blazing wings.

  His hands cupped her face as he stepped closer. Their bodies, mere inches apart as smoldering heat blanketed them.

  “How long do I get you this time?” he asked in a voice as soft as velvet.

  “Maybe minutes, maybe seconds. I don’t know.”

  His chest felt warm under her palm, his heartbeat racing as if he had just completed a triathlon.

  Were those beats for her?

  His eyes trailed over her face. “I don’t think an eternity with you would be long enough.”

  She swallowed hard. A deep breath captured his spicy scent, intoxicating her. The urge to touch her lips to his had her leaning in closer. Another inch and she would get her wish.

  “Maybe we should make the most of the time we’re given.”

  “We should,” he agreed, “but it only makes the hole in my heart deeper when I lose you. I have to find you before I lose my mind.”

  “You will,” she whispered, “but I don’t know when.”

  The warmth of his body faded from her palm. Watery eyes met hers and then fell to her hand.

  His voice caught.

  “You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

  She glanced down at her hand. Creamy skin grew translucent. A sure sign that their time was ending. Why did this happen at the least convenient times?

  “I’m sorry. I can’t control this. I’d stay with you forever if I could.”

  “Tell me your name.” The pain in his voice matched the one in his eyes. He tried reaching for her, but grasped air. “Please.”

  “Soon, my sweet. Soon…”

  * * * * *

  CHAPTER 5

  “No…” Dylan’s voice boomed as he sprang up in his seat. He struggled to focus his eyes on the passing cars and blacktop. Still caught in limbo, his gaze went across the dashboard
, to the steering wheel, to Layne’s amused face.

  “Dude. You trying to give me a heart attack or what?” Layne asked.

  “What…what did you…?” He took a deep breath to steady his pulse. “Sorry, man. I forgot where I was.” He should have driven himself home instead of letting his mom talk him into sleeping while Layne chauffeured him back to L.A. “How long was I out?”

  Layne shrugged. “I’m guessing about an hour. We passed Lake Lindero about ten minutes ago.”

  Dylan twisted in his seat, resting his chin on his shoulder as he gazed out the back of his SUV. The valley had disappeared between the rolling hills of the Santa Monica Mountains. All that remained were sporadic trees and dry, coarse grass. If not for the peaks in the distance, the sky could pass for fog rising from the ocean.

  Female eyes danced in his thoughts. He turned back around in his seat. The void in his gut churned like the eye of a hurricane.

  He could swear he’d been about to hear a name to go with the face. But would it have been her real name?

  Of course not. Having a name would imply she was real. How could he dream of a person he’d never met?

  Wasn’t possible.

  You’ll find out soon enough…

  Her angelic voice floated through his mind. He shut his eyes and concentrated on the image of lush lips, and curves that needed a warning sign.

  “No sense in going back to sleep.” Layne’s voice snapped like a rubber band. “We’ll be at your house in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

  “I’m not sleeping. I’m just…” Dylan grappled for the right word. “Thinking.”

  Questions flashed through Layne’s eyes. “About that chick from Rochester? Forget her, man.”

  “Trust me; she’s the furthest thing from my mind.”

  “Then who?” Layne’s lips twitched into a smile. “You have that forlorn puppy look in your eyes.”

  Dylan eyed his best friend’s face. Layne was entering interrogation mode. That scowl, the determined set to his jaw. It was only a matter of time before he asked.

  “I should have driven myself home.”

  “And miss out on my excellent company? Oh, I get it.” Layne frowned. “You’re thinking about her?”

  A horn erupted from behind the SUV. A red Mercedes Benz came speeding up on the driver’s side, stalling beside the door long enough for a thick-armed man in a muscle shirt to flip them off. Gaining satisfaction, the man punched the gas, leaving his finger extended near the roof of the car as the sea of traffic engulfed him.

  “What the hell is his problem?” Layne grumbled, refocusing on the road.

  Dylan leaned over toward the steering wheel. “Um, you know you’re going forty miles an hour, right?”

  “So? Dude needs to chill out. Asshole. L.A.’s fucking full of them.”

  “Don’t kill us, today. I’ll be ticked if I die on my way home. And Kyle would beat our dead bodies into the ground.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll make it home. In one piece.” Layne gripped the steering wheel. “But don’t change the subject. Why the hell are you thinking about her?”

  “I dunno,” Dylan sighed. He leaned backed against the headrest.

  “What brought this on? You haven’t talked about it in a while.”

  One eye peeked open and glanced toward Layne. “Look at our plans for tonight and tomorrow. Why wouldn’t I think about her?”

  “Plan on making a trip down the aisle?”

  Dylan closed his eyes, again, shutting out the world, the car, and the sunshine filtering through the clouds. “Yeah. The day she steps out of my dream. Until then, I’ll deal with bachelorhood.”

  Another snort echoed through the car. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Not at all,” Dylan shot back as his eyes flew open. “It’s just that some of us actually want to settle down.”

  “Why settle for one when the world can be your playground?”

  “I’m getting too old for the playground.” Dylan’s cheeks tightened at the thought.

  “Bro, you’re in the wrong profession for the white picket fence dream. You gonna give up the band, too?”

  “If I had to choose between her and the band, then yes. I’d give up the limelight in a heartbeat and not have any regrets.”

  “Do you still have a set?”

  Dylan flipped him off.

  “Screw you.”

  “How can you be so infatuated with a chick that isn’t real?” Layne questioned. His eyes switched from the road, to Dylan, and then back, again.

  “She’s beautiful. That’s all.”

  Dylan sighed. If he confessed the details to Layne, his best friend would think he was nuts.

  “Man, don’t lie to me. What’s a best friend for if you can’t divulge your darkest secrets? God knows, you know plenty of mine.”

  Dylan did know Layne’s secrets. Like how he had slept with a groupie when he and his ex were still together. Still, he didn’t want to get into the specifics of his dream with Layne.

  “Drop it, Layne. You’re making something out of nothing.”

  “Bullshit!” Layne barked. He smacked the steering wheel. “You jumped up from a dead sleep earlier. What’d she do? Bite down too hard?”

  Dylan growled. “That’s not funny.”

  If only he could wipe that smug look off Layne’s face with his fist. Maybe he’d release some frustration in the process of teaching him some manners.

  As Layne’s body quaked with laughter, Dylan knew that beating his ass would be pointless. Layne was a player. Probably always would be. But he’d had Dylan’s back since they could walk. They couldn’t be any closer even if genetics were involved.

  “If I tell you, you better not laugh, or I swear I will kick your ass,” Dylan warned, emphasizing the last three words.

  Layne drew an “x” over his heart.

  Dylan’s gaze left the car and ran along the guardrail. All thoughts went back to her. “The dreams seem real. I don’t know I’m sleeping until I wake up. I can feel her, smell her…I almost had her name before I woke up earlier. She said I’d find out soon enough.”

  Silence claimed the space between them. Only the hum of the motor or swoosh of a passing car intruded into the awkwardness.

  Regret nudged Dylan like a dog seeking its master’s attention. Layne thought he was nuts. That was the only explanation for the crooked smile his best friend tossed his way.

  “Damn!” Layne finally spoke. “That is…the gayest thing I’ve ever heard. I swear, I think you’re turning into a chick.”

  “Oh, you’re dead!” Dylan said, gritting his teeth. “If you weren’t driving my vehicle, I would kick your ass. The minute this thing goes into Park, you had better run. Fast!”

  “Sorry,” Layne said as he shook with laughter. “I couldn’t help it. Lighten up, dude.” He punched Dylan’s arm.

  Dylan brushed off Layne’s fist and scanned the passing buildings. His stomach dished up some smack talk as the scent of basil and garlic filled his nose.

  Italian.

  There was nothing like fresh baked garlic bread and a hearty slab of lasagna. Not to mention pizza. He could probably eat pizza every day.

  “Wanna grab a pizza or something?” Layne asked as Dylan turned in his direction.

  “You read my mind.”

  “Cool. I’ll buy. Take it as a peace offering.”

  “You can buy,” Dylan laughed. “But I’m still kicking your ass.”

  * * *

  The smell of honeysuckle floated in the breeze. Its sweet aroma rushed through Heaven’s nose, tingling her senses as goose bumps intruded upon her skin. Weary eyes fixed on the dancing limbs of a willow tree in front of the church.

  The weeping willow, along with the honeysuckle, pulled at her, setting her on fire.

  Memories were wrapped up in those elegant trees.

  It wasn’t old memories of her and her sisters swinging on the limbs like Tarzan’s children. The scene playing in her min
d was of well-defined arms reaching out for her, strong hands gripping her hips, pulling her into a hard chest. Even the cooing of mourning doves didn’t disperse the magic building between them. His dark hair blowing around his face as dark eyes gazed down into hers.

  Had he hypnotized her? Taken away all rhyme and reason? Maybe even removed the cartilage from her knees because she was finding it difficult to stand.

  Chattering voices buzzed through the air, flooding her ears, but her mind could hear the deep voice that sang to her heart.

  Tell me your name. Please.

  She wanted to tell him. Wanted to hear her name on his lips. If only she could control her dreams and say the things she wanted to say. But her subconscious was as cooperative as a saddled mustang.

  Warm fingers gently clasped Heaven’s elbow.

  “Hev?” Hope’s voice tickled her ear as she turned toward her. “Are you okay?”

  Busted.

  Heaven snapped out of the trance she was in and met her sister’s eyes. “Did you say something?”

  Hope’s brow furrowed. She finished shutting the car door and then placed her palm on Heaven’s forehead. “Are you sure you’re not coming down with something?”

  “Would you quit that?” Heaven demanded as she batted Hope’s hand away and stepped backwards. She hated when Hope mothered her. Would her sister ever stop treating her like a fragile flower? Sure, she’d had a few hard knocks. That was part of life. She wasn’t a china doll that needed protecting anymore. “There is nothing wrong with me. I’m fine.”

  “You don’t seem fine.” Hope’s voice filled with tension, but escaped her lips in a hushed tone. Her eyes searched Heaven’s face, making her squirm.

  “First, you faint at the dress shop. Now you’re going off to la-la land.”

  Heaven opened her mouth to speak, but noticed Faith at the corner of the church, gawking at them. When their eyes met, Faith stuck her nose in the air and shook her head.

  “Yo, Brooke! Where’s the Hotel California? Hev needs to check in. She’s checking out of reality.”