Complicate Me

  I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her.

  Them.

  Cole and Alex.

  Kissing.

  Him on top of her.

  In our abandoned house.

  Everything. I. Loved.

  Was gone…

  We walked down the beach.

  “Darlin’,” Cole murmured, sweeping my hair away from my face.

  “Hmm…”

  “You haven’t been yourself all summer. Do you not want to go to UCLA?”

  “What?” I stopped and looked at him. He met my stare, stepping closer to me.

  “Do you not want to leave Oak Island?”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “It’s like you’re waiting for something. Or someone,” he intentionally added.

  “I need to leave.”

  “Okay, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

  “This is my home, of course I’m going to miss it, Cole.”

  “I get it, Alexandra, I really do, but you’ll be back, Oak Island it’s not going anywhere.”

  It didn’t feel that way to me.

  “I’ve known you for four years, that’s a long time. There are things that have happened between us that we have never spoken about. I’ve respected that because it’s what you’ve needed.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “Darlin’, I love you.” He reached for my hands, and I sucked in a breath I didn’t realize I held.

  “That can’t be news to you. I know a part of you loves me, too. It may not be a huge part, but it’s there nonetheless.” He kissed them. “I want to know you. I want to know every part of you, but you hide from me. You’re coming to California with me, that has to mean something. You chose to be near me for a reason, don’t you think?”

  I didn’t know if he was right or wrong, but I nodded anyway.

  “Can you share something with me? Something no one knows about.”

  I immediately looked behind him and he followed my stare. “What are you looking at, Darlin’?”

  I took a deep solemn breath and said, “You want to know me, Cole?”

  He spun to face me yet again. “More than anything.”

  I nodded toward the house behind him and he followed me up the sand to the abandoned home that stored all my secrets. He followed me inside, and I lit the candles that were scarcely placed around the room, creating a soft illuminating allure to the reality of what I had done.

  I brought Cole to our house.

  Lucas’s and mine.

  Ours.

  I had to sit down from the uneasiness in my stomach. From my conscience telling me this was wrong.

  I was wrong.

  He sat beside me, a little too close for my comfort, but I didn’t say anything.

  “What does this house mean to you?” he asked.

  “Everything,” I simply stated.

  He nodded in understanding. “I want to make new memories with you here.” He grabbed my chin with his fingers, guiding my lips to his and then kissed me.

  At first it was soft like he tested his boundaries. I slightly parted my lips and he took that as an open invitation to slowly slip his tongue into my mouth. He tasted of mint and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He didn’t taste like Lucas and he’s the only other boy I’ve ever kissed. It wasn’t bad, he was a great kisser, but he wasn’t Lucas. Nothing compared to him. I was confused and overwhelmed, but I didn’t stop him when he deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with mine in an urgency that explained how long he waited for this moment.

  Which brought on an onslaught of memories.

  His hand gripped the back of my neck, gently pushing me onto the blanket and pillows. I placed my hands on his chest but again didn’t stop him when he positioned his body on top of mine. I went with it. I let him kiss me. I let him surround me. I let him feel like I was his. It seemed like as more time went on the longer I let him have his way with me.

  I tried.

  I swear that I tried, but I couldn’t. Not now. Not here. Not like this.

  I forcefully shoved him away from me and firmly stood up. “I’m sorry, Cole, I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.” I opened the door and ran down the stairs, missing the last step and falling flat on my face.

  “Shit!” he yelled, darting down the stairs behind me. “Darlin’, what are you doing running away from me like that?” He helped me up, but I whimpered when I straightened my knee.

  “Come here.” He put my arm behind his neck and lifted me up into his arms, carrying me down to the beach as if I weighed nothing where there was more light to see.

  “I’m really sorry, Cole, I shouldn’t have taken you there. I don’t know why I did, but you don’t deserve that.”

  “Your knee is bleeding,” he reminded me as he placed me down on the sand.

  “I’m fine. Are you listening to me?”

  “I’m listening.” He swept a piece of hair away from my face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I looked down at my injured knee, another scar to add to my memories, and I wasn’t talking about the one on my knee.

  “Another one,” I ordered, tapping on the bar.

  “Lucas, I could get in a lot of shit for serving you,” Stacey informed me.

  “Like you give a shit if you get in trouble. Drink with me. I’ll buy you all the drinks you want, and I’ll tip you nice when we’re done.”

  She grinned, grabbing another shot glass for herself and pouring tequila into both our glasses.

  “You’re lucky I just got this job, Lucas Ryder.”

  “I turn twenty-one in a few weeks who the fuck cares. This is a dive bar and no one ever comes in here.”

  “True.”

  The moment I saw Cole lying on top of Alex, I got out of there faster than a bat out of hell. If they were going to fuck, I sure as shit wasn’t going to stand there and watch it. I walked down the street until I saw a cab on the main road, telling the driver to take me to the nearest bar.

  Call it fate.

  Call it a coincidence.

  Call it a fluke.

  When I saw Stacey behind the bar, I knew the driver brought me to the right place. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since last summer. Even then it was short and to the point. We hadn’t fucked in years, but as I watched her in her tiny jean miniskirt and her tight top with her tits displayed every time she leaned over the bar, I would be lying if my cock didn’t stand at attention remembering the feel of her pussy wrapped around my dick.

  “What’s new?” I asked, staring at her tits, exactly the way she wanted me to.

  She leaned forward, pressing them together tighter with her arms as she rested her elbows on the bar. “Same ol’ same ol’, I’m sure a big college man like yourself has way more stories than a small town girl like me,” she purred.

  “There’s never been anything small town about you, Stacey.”

  She smirked and her eyes beamed. I hadn’t meant it as a compliment, but apparently that’s how she accepted it.

  “Where’s Half-Pint?”

  I took my shot, hissing as it burned down my chest and into my stomach. The strong sting of alcohol coated my stomach and set my mood on fire, not that it needed any more ammunition.

  “Sore subject?”

  I tapped on the bar with my glass wanting another round. She smiled, pouring me another shot.

  “This time you have to drink with me, I’m three ahead of you,” I informed her, changing the subject.

  She clinked her glass with mine before we both drank them down. This time the shot went down much smoother, warming me all over, but I was nowhere near where I wanted to be.

  “Is she with Cole?” she grimaced, breathing out the liquor.

  “See, the thing about you, Stacey, is that you don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

  “Ooohhh,” she cooed. “Must have been bad. They’ve been hanging out all summer, like two peas in a pod. I honestly don’t see what all the fuss is about, you??
?re way fucking hotter than he is. I never understood what you saw in Alex, she’s a—”

  “Don’t,” I snapped.

  She shrugged, maliciously smiling as she poured two more shots. “Always her knight in shining armor. I guess some things never change.”

  “I’m not here to talk about Alex.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “To get fucked up.”

  “With me?”

  “Why not.”

  She pursed her lips and clinked our glasses together again. “To old times then,” she stated before we drank them down. “Burns so good,” she practically moaned.

  We spent the next few hours drinking and shooting the shit. I was beyond fucked up. I could barely see two feet in front of me. The longer I was with Stacey the more I needed to feel her replace the hole in my chest that was known as my heart. She basically straddled my lap, except her ass sat on the bar and I sat on the stool in between her legs.

  I watched with glazed eyes as she placed a shot in between her tits, angling back on her hands and spreading her legs wider for me. She reached for the salt. “Want to do a body shot?” she incited, licking her lips.

  Fuck.

  I looked around the bar and chuckled, my head falling back from the momentum as I stood up. We were alone. At least I think we were. I was so fucked up I didn’t give a shit if we put on a show.

  She placed her index finger near my mouth. “Suck.”

  I grabbed her palm and slowly sucked on her finger while she bit her bottom lip making my dick twitch. She pulled it away when it was moist enough to dip it in the salt, and proceeded to spread it on top of her cleavage.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  I leaned over and licked the salt off her breast while lightly sucking and then took down the tequila in one swift movement. She cocked her head to the side with a raised eyebrow, provoking me. If there was one thing Stacey could do right, it was fuck. I paused for a few seconds to admire the view. She seductively licked her lips and started to rotate her hips front and back, just like she would on my cock.

  I lunged forward, almost knocking her off the bar. Her body was perfectly aligned with mine as I stood in between her spread legs. She looked up at me with abandonment and yearning. The heady expression was enough for me to lose control. I kicked all the chairs aside and roughly grabbed onto her hips, sliding her ass down to my cock, her elbows still rested on the bar and they held onto some of her weight while I supported the rest. Her hooded eyes stared into mine and I knew she wanted me to kiss her.

  I was fucked up.

  I didn’t give a shit.

  I wanted to feel anything other than what I felt. I placed my forehead on hers, contemplating if I was really going to do this with her. Her lips beckoned mine with just the softest touch and that was my undoing. I plunged my tongue into her eagerly awaiting mouth, initiating a sinful dance of want and need. It went back and forth between us, each giving the other what they craved. She clutched my hair and I pulled on hers, beckoning her head to fall back and give me the liberty to assault her neck.

  I inhaled the jarring smell of Stacey, I still remembered it from high school, and I hated it then as much as I did now. I ran my nose up and down from her chin to her collarbone, leaving a wake of desire behind. I urgently and swiftly made my way down to her luscious breasts. Her nipples were hard, waiting for me to take them into my mouth. I sucked and gently bit one while my hand caressed and fondled the other. Her breathing escalated as did mine.

  I growled and deliberately unzipped my jeans. My hard cock sprang out from the opening. I slid her panties to the side, not bothering to remove any of our clothing, and with one firm thrust I was deep inside her. We moaned in unison and I didn’t falter. I latched on to her hips and fucked her fast, hard and with determination. I didn’t take my time with her, I was rough. All I wanted to do was come. My hands went to her ass to thrust in deeper and more demanding. I effortlessly picked her up off the bar and she wrapped her arms around my neck as I continued to slam her up and down onto my cock.

  She was tightly wrapped around my body.

  She braced her forehead on mine, forcing me to shut my eyes, I couldn’t look at her like that. I didn’t want a connection with her. This was a means to an end for me, exactly the same way it had always been between us. Within seconds, we were both gasping and breathless for air. Our moans getting louder and heavier, both of us dripping with sweat from the liquor and the haziness of the entire night. Within minutes, neither one of us could take it anymore.

  We both came together.

  Hard.

  And even in my drunken haze…

  I saw Alex’s face.

  “Hey,” Lucas greeted as he walked through my front door.

  “Hey,” I replied, caught off guard that he was at my going away barbeque. “I heard you were in town.”

  He nodded. “I’ve been here a few weeks.”

  “And yet this is the first time I’m seeing you,” I snidely stated, regretting it immediately. “That’s not fair.”

  “I can take it.”

  I softly smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “The boys are out back.”

  “And Cole?” he asked, a little too harshly.

  “Yes.”

  “Right…”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He shook his head. “Not a damn thing, Alex.”

  My eyebrows lowered, causing my face to frown. “Doesn’t sound like it.”

  “Has he enjoyed you?” he blurted out of nowhere.

  I jerked back. “What?”

  He chuckled, trying to cover up his abrasiveness. “I just meant have you guys had a great summer? From what I’ve seen it’s been a lot of new things for you. Going to all sorts of places you used to go with me.”

  I didn’t understand what he implied. “We’re the same we’ve always been,” I explained.

  “Is that right?” he mocked in a condescending tone. “I guess I need to get my eyes checked then.”

  “Lucas, what are you—”

  “Darlin’, the burgers are ready,” Cole announced, walking in from the back porch. “Lucas,” he groaned. “Nice of you to finally show up.”

  “I didn’t get an invitation,” Lucas clarified, only looking at me.

  Cole stood next to me with his hands placed in his pockets. “Since when is an invitation needed among friends,” he added.

  “Cole—”

  “Alexandra leaves tomorrow with me,” he interrupted.

  I shut my eyes shaking my head for a few seconds. “And my parents,” I explained.

  “Is that right?” Lucas drawled out, again.

  “Her apartment is actually really nice, Lucas, it’s not far from mine. Maybe you can come sometime to visit. I’m sure Alex would love to show you the places I plan to show her.”

  I glared at him and he innocently smiled, showing off those dimples that I usually loved but wanted to knock off his face at the moment.

  “What, darlin’? I’m just being friendly. Isn’t that what you want?”

  “I don’t give a fuck if you’re friendly or not, Cole, doesn’t change the fact that I don’t fucking like you.”

  “Lucas!” I scolded, looking at him with wide eyes.

  “Oh,” he breathed out with a cocked head and an arched eyebrow. “For Cole you give a shit, my how things have changed.”

  I took a deep breath and glanced at Cole. “Can you give us a minute?”

  “Of course.” He kissed the top of my head and nodded at Lucas. “Always a pleasure.”

  “What’s your problem?” I asked when I heard the door shut.

  He shrugged. “Nothing, Darlin’.”

  “Bo, you know the phone works both ways. I haven’t heard from you all summer. You show up to my graduation and barely talk to me through dinner and then you leave the next day. You expect me to invite you to my going away party? Are you for real?”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I hope you?
??ve had a nice summer and everything you expected from your first…” he hesitated, much to my confusion.

  “From your first day in California,” he muttered, but I knew that’s not what he meant to say.

  “Where have you been? The boys said they’ve barely seen you.”

  “Around.”

  “Lily says—”

  “Maybe it’s time you stop talking to my baby sister about me.”

  “What’s your problem?” I argued. “Why are you talking to me like this?”

  “I’m just saying, Alex, you’re going away to college. Big city. New experiences, some you’ve probably already experienced here.”

  “Lucas, what are you implying?”

  “This isn’t the time or the place.”

  “Oh, now it’s not? I always have to march in line with you, don’t I? You push me aside when you want, but I’m here when you need me. I’m like your own personal play toy.”

  “Better mine than his.”

  I gasped.

  “Fuck,” he roared. “I’m sorry.” He stepped toward me and I stepped back.

  “I didn’t… I didn’t mean that.” He reached out for me, making me step back further.

  “Is this why you came here, Lucas, to hurt me? You haven’t hurt me enough? I’m your own personal punching bag, too?”

  “Half-Pint…”

  “No!” I stopped him with my hand out in front of me. “You do not get to call me that. Just leave, Lucas. Just leave now. It’s what you do best anyways.”

  Now it was his turn to step back from me. “That what you want?” he tested as if he knew I didn’t mean it and I hated him more because of it.

  “Yes.”

  He nodded, backing away. “Have a great time at school.”

  I barely gave him a chance to finish his sentence before I turned around.

  And left.

  My phone rang for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few days and just like clockwork a text followed. I deleted it without even reading it. I’d done the same thing for the last few days.