Complicate Me

“Obviously,” Dylan replied, pulling me away from my memories. “My, my, little Half-Pint, I think maybe we’ve underestimated you.”

  “Seriously? I found your Playboys when I was ten. Did you not think I went home and asked my mama about it? I mean I didn’t rat you guys out or anything, but I needed to know, and I knew you guys wouldn’t have told me.”

  “Damn straight.”

  I laughed at his bluntness. “It’s not a big deal. I get it.”

  “Do you now?” he baited.

  “I do.”

  “Just so we’re clear when it comes time for you to—”

  “Dylan!” I shouted.

  He didn’t falter. “We will beat the living shit out of him. That — I can promise you, so you may want to think about that for his sake at least.”

  “Oh my God, that’s such a double standard.”

  “Call it how you see it. I don’t give a shit.”

  “You know this whole big brother stuff is gettin’ kinda’ old.” I pointed in between us. “I can take care of myself. You’re getting as bad as Jacob. I’m just going to scuff it up to testosterone.”

  He cocked his head to the side. “What do you know about testosterone?”

  I cocked my head back. “What do you know about periods?”

  He laughed big and wide and clapped his hands. “God, I love you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah… yeah…”

  “I meant what I said before, though.”

  I tore my eyes from him and back to Lucas. “I know.”

  And I did.

  “You ready?” I asked.

  “Yeah. I just need to go to my locker. I forgot my Algebra book. She gave us a ton of homework to do over Christmas break,” Alex replied.

  “I’ll walk you.”

  “You don’t have to. I’ll meet you guys by the bike rack.”

  I nodded, walking away. “Okay, hurry.”

  Four months went by and it was officially Christmas break. We had two weeks of no school and no drama. Having Alex in the same school as us proved to be eventful, not only was she developing in all sorts of places, she was also coming into her own. She started wearing makeup, and I despised it. The first time she walked out of her house wearing lipstick, I was literally off my bike and over to her in three strides, wiping the peachy color right from her lips.

  The boys hollered, “Hell yeah,” as they witnessed me doing it, and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. Saying some shit about me embarrassing her and not letting her grow up. I didn’t pay her any mind because, for one, she could never stay mad at me, and for two, I wouldn’t allow her to stay mad at me. We pretty much beat the boys off with a stick. They knew Alex was off limits before she even walked through the doors on the first day of school, but that didn’t stop some of the fuckers from trying to get her attention.

  “Hey, baby,” Stacey greeted, coming up beside me and nuzzling her arm around mine.

  “Hey.”

  “I thought this day would never end. Finally! Christmas break.”

  Stacey and I weren’t serious, and we weren’t exclusive either. I guess you could say we were dating. She tried to make me jealous with different guys an infinite amount of times, and I always blew her off each and every stint. She could do whatever she wanted, and I told her that often. All it did was confirm what the boys and I already knew about her, and as shitty as it sounded, it worked for me.

  “What do you want to do over break?”

  I shrugged. “I haven’t really given it much thought.”

  “Oh, well then maybe I should think about it for us.”

  “Or let’s just play it by ear.”

  “Okay…” she muttered, holding me closer.

  “Where’s Half-Pint?” Jacob asked as we walked up to the bike rack.

  “She had to get her Algebra book from her locker. She said she would meet us out here.”

  “She’s going to be a while,” Stacey smugly informed, baiting me.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned, eyeing her.

  “Oh, well, I saw Gavin cornering her—”

  “Cornering her?” Dylan interrupted, stepping off his bike.

  “Jesus calm down, guys, they’re just talking. Leave her alone.”

  Austin raised an eyebrow, rounding the bikes. “I’ll go get her.”

  “No one needs to come get me,” Alex chimed in, strolling up to us. “He was just asking me for the assignments that needed to be completed durin’ break. No need to come and scare him. Trust me, boys know I’m not to be messed with, y’all have laid down the law.” She rolled her eyes.

  “What’s your problem?” I asked.

  “What’s yours?” she argued, sitting on her bike.

  I couldn’t tell if she was pissed because of the way we protected her or because Stacey was still wrapped around my arm. I assumed it was a little bit of both. Stacey had a way of making herself seem more important to me than she truly was, and it always happened to be when Alex was around.

  “I’ll see you later, baby.” She tried to kiss me on the mouth, but I turned my face at the last second, and she kissed my cheek instead.

  “Half-Pint,” I coaxed, getting on my bike, trying to get her to look at me.

  “What? I’m here. Let’s go.”

  She was the first to take off and I pedaled up beside her while the boys rode way in front, even after all these years she still couldn’t pedal as fast as us.

  “Are you going to talk to me?”

  She glanced at me, annoyed. “Why wouldn’t I talk to you?”

  “I know you better than that. Give me some credit.”

  “Fine,” she scoffed. “I think it’s ridiculous that you boys guard me like rabid dogs, I mean you pretty much pee on me to keep boys away and it’s not fair.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it, she couldn’t say things like that and not expect me to laugh.

  She glared at me.

  “What? Oh come on I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Maybe. A little bit. Like half a cup.”

  She grinned, staring back in front of her to avoid smiling at me. I told you she couldn’t stay mad at us, especially me.

  “It’s still not fair,” she repeated, the attitude in her tone calming.

  “I never said life was fair.”

  “What if I did that to you? Huh? What if I made sure girls wouldn’t talk to you? What if I told Stacey to go fly a kite or something?”

  “Fly a kite? That’s the best you got?” I teased, knowing that she didn’t cuss. I don’t think I had ever heard a cuss word come out of her mouth before.

  “Bo, you know what I mean. You wouldn’t have it. You would put a stop to it immediately. You all would. It’s not fair that the rules are different for me.”

  “You’re a girl,” I simply stated.

  If she weren’t riding her bike, she probably would have tackled me to the ground because I called her one. Even though she dressed like one, it still didn’t give us the right to say it to her. The heated scowl she shot in my direction was enough for me to know that she was past her breaking point of not being taken seriously.

  But again I didn’t give a shit.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Half-Pint.”

  “Say that you’ll let me grow up.”

  “We do.”

  She frowned.

  “Sort of,” I mumbled, my eyes shifting every which way.

  She sighed. “I’m never going to experience anything because of you boys.”

  “Excuse me? What are you bickerin’ about over there?” I trailed closer to her, if I wanted to I could reach out and pull her hair from her face. She always wore it down now, she never put it up and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it.

  “Never mind.” She pedaled faster, trying to get away from me.

  At least that much I knew.

  We caught up with the boys and I couldn’t stop thinkin
g about what Alex implied. She was making new friends outside of us, girls, never boys, and I wondered if that had something to do with it. I realized girls talked about that kind of stuff. Maybe they had said something to Alex about experiencing things. I mean sixth grade was when most of our friends started kissing, I was the only pussy that waited until seventh.

  Though I had already kissed her.

  But not that kind of kiss... Was that what she wanted?

  There was no way in hell that she was going to kiss another boy, especially that sort of kiss.

  What do I do?

  “Lucas!” Alex yelled.

  “Hmm,” I peered up at her from the table at her parents’ restaurant. We were eating lunch. We usually ended up here after school to eat before heading home to do our homework. We ate at school, but that didn’t stop us from being constantly hungry. It was Christmas break and we didn’t have anything but time.

  “Where did you go?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “Just now. You seemed lost in thought or something.”

  Everyone looked at me so I smiled. “I’m good.”

  We finished lunch and the boys wanted to surf, we left our boards in the office at the restaurant. It made it easier for us to hit the waves whenever we wanted, versus having to go all the way home to get them. Alex said it was too cold outside to sit on the sand and watch us like she usually did and decided to go home to start on her homework instead. Saying she didn’t want to worry about it for the rest of the break.

  “I’ll ride back with you,” I said, nodding to her. “I’ll be back once I get her home.”

  The guys nodded, understanding, and headed toward the water.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she informed, taking my stare from them to her.

  “I want to.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I can make it home by myself. I can take care of myself.”

  “What’s with the attitude?”

  “You just don’t get it.” She shook her head, walking away from me.

  It was the second time that day that she tried to get away from me and it only pissed me off. Her moods were changing faster than her damn dresses.

  I couldn’t keep up anymore.

  I ran, kicking up sand with my sandals to catch up to her, tugging her by the arm to stop and face me. “What’s your problem?”

  “You! You’re my problem,” she shouted near my face.

  “What the fuck did I do? I’m just taking you home.”

  And then she pushed me, like full on shoved me and I barely wavered, which only infuriated, and then she pushed me again. My eyes widened, surprised and partly amused with her feisty spirit that always did things to me.

  I grinned and tackled her to the sand, laying right on top of her and holding her in place. “Do you need a cuddle? Is that what this is about? Do you need a hug? I give really good cuddles and hugs,” I teased in a high-pitched voice, holding her tighter.

  “Oh my God, Bo! This is cheating,” she laughed, unable to resist my charm.

  “See all you needed was some attention,” I proudly stated.

  “Get off!” She thrashed.

  “No.”

  “Lucas Brody Ryder…” she warned.

  “Just because you call me by my full name doesn’t mean I’m going to listen to you. That only works for my mom.”

  “Then get off of me.”

  “Not until you stop whatever hormonal shit you’re going through right now.”

  She gasped.

  “Wrong thing to say?” I taunted. “How about this?” I reached down her side and tickled where I knew she hated, right under her ribs, making her whip around and laugh all at the same time. “Are you done? Is it over?” I tickled the other side.

  “Stop!” She laughed out, trying to catch her breath.

  “Say the magic words.”

  “Yes! Yes, I’m done,” she exasperated.

  I instantly stopped, leaning back to sit on my knees, and she took the momentum of my movement to push me, making me fall in the sand.

  “Jerk!” She stood up, glaring down at me with a satisfied look on her face that she made me fall over.

  “You’re going to pay for that later,” I grinned.

  She rolled her eyes again and reached her hand down to help me up. It took me a few seconds to actually trust her to not shove me down to the sand again, also contemplating on whether to drag her down onto the sand with me. But she was already smiling and I didn’t want to break the current shift in mood.

  We rode our bikes in comfortable silence and when I didn’t turn down her street, I saw her smiling from the corner of my eye.

  I told you.

  She was all about the little things.

  I just couldn’t stay mad at him.

  He made it absolutely impossible for me not to laugh and he knew it, too. Which only made it worse. It was like adding fuel to the fire, making it bigger and wider with each flare of gasoline. When I saw that he didn’t turn down my street and kept riding in the direction of our abandoned house, I smiled.

  There was no helping that either.

  The times that he chose to be with me over the boys warmed my heart, especially when he preferred me to surfing.

  We parked our bikes behind the house and ran up the stairs. Over the last few months, we had turned it into our own little paradise, bringing blankets and pillows to throw on the floor, candles for when it got dark. Sometimes Lucas would even bring in wood from outside to turn on the fireplace. We had magazines, board games, snacks, and water. Everything we needed was there.

  I loved it.

  He handed me a bottled water to drink and then I passed it back to him so he could, too. I laid down on the blankets and pillows and beheld the vaulted ceilings with a content sigh.

  “Whatcha’ thinkin’ about over there?” he questioned, sitting down facing me.

  “How much I love this place.”

  “Good.”

  “I want to get married here.”

  “What?” he chuckled.

  “You heard me. I want to have my engagement party here and I want to get married here. And then I want to buy this house and raise a family here,” I firmly stated.

  “Aren’t you a little young to think about stuff like that?”

  “No. I think about stuff like that all the time.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Mmm hmm…”

  “Who you marrying?”

  I immediately held his amused gaze. “What?” It was my turn to say.

  “You heard me,” he replied, throwing my own words back at me. “Who you marrying?”

  “Oh,” I breathed out. “I don’t know.”

  He raised his eyebrow but didn’t call me out on my lie. “Don’t you think that maybe you should experience things first?”

  “How do you know I haven’t?” I provoked, wanting to wipe the smug look off his face.

  “Because I know.”

  “Whatever.” I looked away.

  “You want to know how I know?”

  I kept my stare on the tray ceilings, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, and hoping that it would calm the fluttering feeling I had suddenly formed in my belly. I shrugged because I couldn't speak. My voice would giveaway how I felt.

  “I know because I would remember it, just like I remember our first experience. The same one that’s hanging around your neck.”

  My heart pounded with each word that fell from his mouth.

  “Do you want me to?”

  “Do I want you to what?” I replied, already knowing what he meant but needing to hear him say it.

  “Do you want me to kiss you?” He paused to let his words sink in. “Really kiss you?”

  My mouth parted and my chest rose and descended with each breath I took. I found myself nodding before I gave it any more thought, ignoring the voice in the back of my mind that screamed at me that this was a bad idea. He bent forward and rested on his
hands and knees, his face, his lips, coming toward me and making me tightly shut my eyes.

  Waiting.

  A million thoughts went through my head, but the second I felt his lips on mine they were all gone in an instant.

  Nothing else mattered at that moment.

  I had no idea what to do, and my heart drummed so fast that I swear he could hear it. I never thought I would be more grateful for the fact that I laid down. Knowing that if I were standing my knees would have given out from the pounding in my chest. It was the most overwhelming feeling I had ever felt. As if reading my mind, he slowly opened his lips, and I followed his lead, parting mine in the same rhythm he was. Our mouths moved in sync with each other, like we had been doing this all of our lives.

  At least it felt that way for me.

  His tongue touched my lips and it was the craziest sensation. I pulled back my tongue and he took it as an open invitation to gently push his into my mouth. He tasted of Cherry Coke and Fruit Stripe bubblegum, as he sought mine out with his, turning the kiss into something more. I’m not quite sure what that was, other than an explosive moment and memory in my life. It was wet and making sounds that were unfamiliar, but it felt amazing and stirred emotions that I didn’t think were possible. That I didn’t even think existed. If I thought I was confused before, well, then this, this added a whole new element and spin to it.

  In those minutes, I didn’t care because…

  It felt right.

  We felt right.

  I didn't know it then, but that's when I fell in love with him.

  He pecked my lips one last time and gradually pulled away from me, leaving me breathless and winded, with incoherent thoughts running rapidly in my mind. When I opened my eyes he smiled, big and wide above me, and the intensity of his gaze was once again familiar. It was the same stare that was for me, and only me, the same one from the beach. His eyes never appeared that way with Stacey, and I knew because I’d watched. It was the only thing that comforted me when I wanted to fall apart.

  “There,” he stated. “Now you can say you’ve experienced things.”

  This wouldn’t be the first time he laid claim on me, and it was far from the last.

  We graduated eighth grade. Only Austin was left to watch over Alex for one more year, and then she would be alone again. Two more years until we were all under the same roof and school. Our friendship stayed the same, but the feelings we had for each other grew in ways that were far more complex. After that kiss there was no going back, and that was probably why I did it in the first place. I claimed her.