Rock Notes

  Chapter Ten – Where We Began

  The remainder of my holiday weekend passed very quietly. I was glad it was finally Monday. While most people dread the beginning of the week, for me, the mere fact that Jillian would be returning from her weekend in Atlanta put a pleasant smile on my face. I was also meeting with Cecile this week and I was looking forward to the distraction from my feelings. I couldn’t wait to tell her that I got us tickets to a very small gig at the 2nd Street Coffee Café where the band actually started playing together. Maxwell had set up a one night limited ticket engagement for the pre-holiday season. It was definitely going to be a tight fit in that coffee house.

  It was only nine in the morning and my phone started jumping, first Jillian –

  Hey Maddy, I’m getting in later today than expected, let’s definitely hit the gym tomorrow and catch up and ask Cecile if she wants to tag along too, I have a guest pass. Missed you and hope you had turkey and all those Rand trimmings…

  She had no idea what actually happened but tomorrow I would fill her in. I sent her –

  Jillian you can’t go away the next holiday, I missed you. Mine was different, I’ll fill you in. Hey keep Saturday night open the boys are playing in Philly.

  Jillian was quick to reply –

  I’m on that guest list thanks to none other than my new man Raeford…I really missed him over the holiday. I can’t wait to see him this week. Oh, yeah and you too! Ha-Ha.

  I finished up our conversation letting her know that I was going to reach out to Kent to give him a heads up that Cecile would be joining us. She really seemed to like him and I hoped the interest was mutual.

  My phone sounded again before I could get a message typed out to Kent. It was Rand.

  Good morning beautiful! I woke this morning again with visitors coming up my sidewalk. They weren’t intrusive, just a few deer hanging out. They probably feel safe here on my property from the hunters. Well, have a very busy week with Maxwell. I like the holiday season. I like to play Santa, and give people presents they would never ask for. Have you been a good girl this year? The guys usually go home for their holiday. I’m staying here and will have some professional help to decorate. I want you to come, and you can be Santa’s helper.

  Rand I have been a very good girl this year and would love to be your helper. As for your the holiday invite, I will check my calendar as it usually is so very full…but I will adjust it and I would certainly love to be there. Thank you,

  Madison, the holiday party will be at the rehearsal studio before everyone heads out of town. Isaac usually can’t keep his mouth shut but has about what they got you. I play host on Christmas day with an open house. I would really like if you could come then too. It starts at noon and ends whenever the food or alcohol runs out. I’m planning to have a New Year’s Rocking Eve in the barn complete with a dropping ball. It’s a lot of fun since we normally don’t play cover songs; we all pick a favorite and perform it. Since I missed Thanksgiving I want you to ink me into your calendar and also voice me into that recorder of yours for these dates. Hey I will see you this Saturday at our show. Hope we can get some alone time, wouldn’t that be nice? I’m thinking of you right now as I can smell your lovely scent.

  I love it when he calls me beautiful because he is beyond handsome. I paused a moment, how can he smell me? My mind flickered to thinking how it would be wonderful to spend Christmas with him, and replied –

  Good morning Deer. I’m really looking forward to Saturday and was just sending a message to Kent to let him know about Cecile. Maybe you can put in a good, nice word about her. You have given me many holiday invites to think about, they all sound fun. I miss you.

  We ended our conversation and I finally was able to send a message to Kent –

  Hey Big Guy, haven’t seen you in awhile but will see you on Saturday. I’m bringing along my adorable agent, who has her eyes on you. Her name is Cecile. You cannot miss her, she will be the bubbles in the champagne, the fizz in the soda pop, she is very outgoing, so cute and shapely. I think you may just like her; unless that is you already have someone you’re seeing?

  Kent slammed a reply – I could practically feel it through the phone.

  Hell yeah I’d love to meet her! We’ve all been missing you Maddy. I thought you left to go back to your husband. I wanted to stop you like a big overbearing brother. You looked sad. Sorry about your dad, I found out later. Raeford led us in the prayer so he gets the credit, but we said it with him. See you this weekend! I will look for this Cecile chick.

  Finally the morning was moving along with all the conversations. I thought I was done on the phone when I heard a ring, but it was my doorbell. Now who? I was thinking as I opened the door. Standing there was a floral delivery truck with a large Rosemary Christmas Tree. It smelled wonderful. I thanked the driver and brought it in to read the card.

  Madison, I want you to remember this smell. You once had one in our condo and seasoned the holiday with it. Please join me this holiday for a Christmas Brunch. I think we really reconnected on Thanksgiving and I wanted to give you some space so I haven’t pressed you. You don’t have to let me know now, just come Christmas Day and I’ll know your answer. Please remember, I don’t want you to be let down yet another holiday. Love Always, Thomas.

  I stood in my foyer for so long, trying to take in these invites from two totally different men, two very adoring men each in their own way. I was going to have to choose where to spend the holiday. I wanted a better holiday for myself this year than what I last had. I would make it better, I was determined. I smiled as I took the tree into my kitchen and gave it some water, within minutes the house was filling of the scent of Rosemary and a smell of the holiday season ahead.

  I didn’t want to be on the phone again with Cecile at this moment, as her conversations could get lengthy so I sent her a quick message asking her to join us tomorrow at the gym to catch up and we would chat. She quickly sent a yes message back.

  The rest of this day I was shifted into great holiday memories, from the delivery that Thomas sent. I remembered my mother putting me in my red pajamas before going to bed for Santa Claus and saying he would see them and know I was one of his helpers. I would put out plenty of cookies for him and his helpers and always sneak one for myself under my pillow. I remember, being an only child, how my mother and father made Christmas special for me and that way I didn’t feel I was missing anything. They always made the comment I was their best gift ever, that Santa need not bring them anything more.

  When I got older and married Thomas, we continued to include my father in any festivity that we had whether a dinner in the city or the holidays themselves. With my mother not here, and not reaching out to us, we made sure he was never alone. Thomas would always make the holiday grand by buying expensive presents and always letting you know that they came from the finer stores. We were very different as I would make some simple gifts for some that came more from my heart. Like a written piece in a frame, or a photo taken that was memorable. All in all, grand or simple, my holiday memories were filled and fun.

  We all met at the gym the next morning. It was like a chat session rather than an actual work out as we sat three in a row tying up the stationary bikes for over an hour and a half when the allotted time is thirty minutes per person. We didn’t pay attention to that rule today. Jillian was happy she saw her brother and was more excited to be seeing Raeford this weekend. Cecile was excited when I told her that I’d told Kent how cute she was and that I wanted them to meet. She almost fell off the bike. She did actually miss the pedals, but regained her stride and was thrilled. She asked dozens of questions about him and I only knew some of the answers but told her to find out the other answers so I could include it in my writings of him.

  We all decided that we would go together like a girl’s night out on Saturday. I told them it would be best if we met and drove together. I invited them to come to my house and offered to be the driver to the show and they jumped on
that idea. We left the gym much later than planned and hugged each other looking forward to this weekend out.

  Well here it is already Saturday afternoon and my closet is thrown all over my bedroom floor. I cannot decide what to wear. This is a really small venue and I want to look nice. I picked up a sheer blue top that I knew matched Rand’s eyes and a black cami from the pile of clothes I pulled out. I put that on along with a pair of low rise black jeans and boots. I added hoop earrings that had a few diamond chips in them that sparkled and complemented my heart cuff bracelet. I looked at the mirror, walked away, ran back and looked in the mirror again and then looked over at the mess I would have to deal with in the morning. I never spent this much time deciding what to wear while married to Thomas; I would just put something on and be done. I was always ready in no time at all. Today I think I spent three hours getting ready and changing outfits.

  My doorbell sounded and I knew the ladies were arriving. I went down and greeted my good friends. I had opened a bottle of wine for us to start with and take the edge off before we went to the show. We all began to make a toast but then they geared it to me.

  Jillian and Cecile said, “To Madison, we’re all together because you are such a wonderful person. And we thank you for our introductions to these fine, sexy men.” They both laughed. It was funny though, oddly we all were heading into different relationships or introductions with one of the members of the band and all since my whim to write about them.

  Getting into the city is hit or miss with the expressway and this evening it was not too bad, but there was no parking to be found anyplace close to the café. I rode around the streets several times and then decided to park in one of the garages as we were all in heels and I didn’t want us to walk too far. As we began to approach the café the band was just arriving and still standing outside talking to Maxwell and it was quite chilly. I gave a wave and Rand met my eyes and left the pack and came trotting up to us.

  He slid his hand into mine and his head down to my ear. “I’ve told you that you’re beautiful, but you’re absolutely stunning tonight.” He continued to speak gently as he also licked and kissed my ear giving me a chill. “I got a table up front for you ladies. I want to see you, only you in front of me while I play. Now that you’re within reach, I don’t want tonight to end without you near me.”

  I felt so warm inside and was tingling just by his adoring look at me. His hands never left me until we were seated and then he leaned over me and tilted my head back and gave me a kiss in front of everyone that was quite lasting.

  Cecile gasped, “How dreamy.”

  He had to leave us as they needed to get set up for the evening, and we three girls would be just fine. I then felt a tap to my shoulder seconds later and thought he returned. But it was a quick, friendly kiss on my cheek from Raeford. I was thrilled to see him. He left me quickly after that to kiss Jillian. That was a much different, much longer kiss! Rounds of drinks were brought to our table without any hesitation, and we couldn’t pay for them as Rand took care of everything for us.

  Right before the band went on Rand walked back up to me at the table and asked me to hold his wallet and phone. Since this was a small venue they didn’t have the luxury of a dressing room back stage for all of their stuff and he had tight jeans on with his microphone pack in the back pocket. I smiled at him and put his wallet in my tiny purse and laid his phone on the table next to mine. While Rand and the band were doing their final quick sound checks, his phone displayed an incoming message. I took the phone to make sure it was silenced for the performance and my curiosity got to me, I glanced quickly at the message –

  Your letter and surprise contents arrived to me today, thank you. I have thought about nothing more than our first meeting over the past few months. You are amazing. I have been listening to your music over and over. I wanted to tell you yes, I look forward to this holiday season and getting to know you so much better. I will see you soon. G.

  I stared down at the text and reread it twice. Who was G? I was just starting to feel that comfort zone with Rand and trusting that perhaps he was feeling things for me as he was surely acting like he cared. Could this all be an act? And when was this G person coming, was I going to meet someone he met on the road or someone from his past that he invited here to start to date? I didn’t want to look at any more messages, I felt bad that I looked at this one. Perhaps this was a sign to me where not to head on Christmas day.

  I didn’t want to ruin the night for the girls, so despite the fact that I volunteered to be their designated driver, I started to drink. I thought if I couldn’t drive home we could always hire a cab or someone in the band would get us home safe. I drank my first drink without a pause. The band had taken the stage, and I was front and center to Rand, only about four feet away. He smiled. I drank him in as I was on my second cocktail and he was so unbelievably handsome, I really was star struck with his body, his face, his eyes and now he just blew me a kiss so I smiled back thinking sarcastically, “G” was that really for me or for show? We girls were having a fun night and I was starting to loosen up and forget, well not entirely but I put the message to the back of my mind for now. I couldn’t get too upset as I did violate his privacy by reading his message.

  Throughout the show I felt like I was the only one that was in the audience with Rand. He never swayed far from me even though he had room to roam across the stage. As he would pick up his guitar for some songs and then place it back on the stand for others, he had in the beginning brought the stand over to be closer to him so he didn’t have to leave my sight. He sang to me on so many of the songs. At one point Cecile was waving her hand in front of my face like one of us, or both of us was in a trance.

  I continued to keep the drinks coming to the table, not sure of how many I consumed. Cecile didn’t need any loosing up, she was a funny girl and drinks only made her sillier. I caught Jillian looking at Raeford often and he would send her a wink now and then. It was toward the end of their playlist that Kent was spotlighted. The band and Rand gave way to Kent to take his bass and play his heart out. He positioned himself in front of Cecile’s chair, again only few feet away and played. Everyone got to their feet to clap when he was done. Only he jumped off the stage and picked up Cecile and spun her around. I don’t think he kissed her, just spun her and I was hoping she wouldn’t get sick. He put her back down into her seat and he spoke closely to her ear. She beamed. As he jumped back up on the stage, I could only imagine the words Kent said to her because he then licked his lips and smiled directly at Cecile. I could definitely see something developing between those two.

  After their show, which was so good, Rand and the band all came off the stage and talked with everyone in the crowd. Most patrons this night were close friends or family. It was nice to see them play such an intimate venue as we so enjoyed it.

  I had gotten up and left the table for the first time since the show started. Jillian and Cecile remained seated. As I planted my feet to walk I was a bit unsteady. I felt a gentle on the side of my hip helping to keep me standing straight, and it was Ron. I gave him a hug and said that I must have stopped counting the drinks at some point. He directed me to one side to introduce me to the girl he had been crushing on since long ago. Her name was Dahlia and, yes, she was pretty as a flower. She was so polite. I did notice that it was well into the late night hours and she had, sunglasses sitting on top of her head. I guess she and Ron had a lot in common. Tonight though he did not wear his at this show, I guess the lights weren’t as powerful or bright as the other stage sets, or perhaps he wanted to see Dahlia without wearing his sunglasses indoors. I talked to them for a few moments and then was picked up by Isaac and his loud roar of a hello. I told him I had to hit the restroom and I would be back and he could introduce himself to Cecile at the table.

  As I walked to the restroom which now had a line forming, a hand came around my waist and I knew through the sheerness of my top exactly whose touch this was. I was led to the upper por
tion of the café and down a small hall to the end door. It was another tiny one person bathroom without even a window. I smiled at Rand, and asked him to excuse me since I really had to go to the bathroom. I drank a lot this evening. He stayed outside the door like he was waiting to go in next, but since the venue was staged downstairs; no one was even up in the top section of the café. The coffee shop had it roped off as this is where most people hang with their coffees and computers during the day.

  As I came out of the bathroom relieved to have finally gone, I saw Rand had not left. In fact he pulled me back into the bathroom and locked the door and turned out the light. In the darkness I could only smell and feel this sensational man in front of me. I felt him as he gently lifted off my sheer top from my jeans and rolled up my cami and bent to kiss my stomach. I twirled my hands in his hair and pushed his head and lips tighter to my belly. I felt him lower and kiss my jeans and continue downward kissing the fabric that separated my lusting body from his wanting lips. He rose back up in the dark and took my mouth with his. One long sweep of his tongue at a time.

  “Madison, I so want everything we could be, I watched and thought of you all night from that stage.” I immediately softened toward him. I knew I wanted him so badly, but I also knew that we were in this tiny bathroom and it wasn’t going to happen for us here. I also knew I was getting a little dizzy. I wasn’t sure if it was due to emotions or the drinks I had. He leaned me up against the wall and continued taking my mouth with his, controlling the kiss and positioning himself tightly up against my body. His hands were now so firm on my hips. We were moving with each other getting even closer if that was possible. I suddenly felt claustrophobic.

  “Rand, I need air, I can’t breathe. There’s no window, I need to breathe.” I reached for the doorknob and it was locked, I pulled at it again. Rand reached down and unlocked the door and I stepped out and inhaled a huge breath. I turned to him as I was sorry I stopped our moment this time but I felt trapped in there. He came to me, held me. I think it was then that I told him I felt ill from drinking too much. I ran back to the tiny bathroom and found the toilet in the dark and began to throw up.

  Rand helped me through this embarrassing ordeal. He left me only to head downstairs and get me some water and to tell the guys he was taking me home. When Rand returned to me, he told me that Jillian hadn’t overdone the drinking like I had so she was going to drive my car back to my house and make sure Cecile would get home if Kent would let Cecile leave his lap anyway. I figured Jillian and Raeford and Cecile and Kent would surely hang for another several hours. Rand brought me my purse and had given my car key to Jillian.

  Rand helped me redress as he slipped my sheer top back over my head and held me tightly. I told him that his phone and wallet were in my purse. He took out his belongings and I watched him slide his phone into his front pocket and that’s when I remembered the message from “G’ and another wave of nausea threatened at the top of my throat. Quickly, I ran back to the bathroom.

  This was not the ladies night I had thought we all were going to have. Rand took me so carefully to his vehicle and drove me home, asking the entire way if I was okay. He smoothed my hair and gently touched my cheek. When we got to my house he carried me into my bedroom and sat me on the edge of my bed. Behind me hung our selected piece from the art gallery in South Beach, “Separation” and in front of me was the hottest, most sexy man on the earth.

  He lifted my arms up and removed my sheer shirt leaving my cami on. He let his fingers slide under my cami in the back and, like playing music he very effortlessly opened the clasp of my bra. He slid it off of me, lifting the cami straps and replacing them back onto my shoulders. He then laid me back and slowly removed my boots. He unzipped my jeans and although I was getting excited just by watching him undress me, I let out a groan. It wasn’t a moan of arousal, but that of illness I laid there as he slid off my jeans, but made certain that my tiny string panties remained on me.

  Carefully he removed my earrings and kissed each lobe afterwards. He laid them next to my cuff bracelet that he slid from my wrist and placed them on my night stand with the heart facing my direction. He moved over and placed a pillow under my head and grabbed a blanket off the side chair. Before covering me, he looked down and laughed at the mound of clothes he had to climb over to get to the blanket. He then covered me and sat beside me. He kissed my forehead. I passed out.

  When I woke up I remembered a few things of yesterday. The first was I had totally forgotten to eat anything as I spent hours, too many hours, deciding what clothes to wear. The next was that I drank way too much and the next hit me like a brick. It was the scent of Rosemary that made me leap out of the bed to again throw up. When I returned to my bed from my bathroom, I saw in the chair in front of my closet, Rand all curled up, sleeping with a few items of my clothing as a pillow. I’m not sure if the sound of me getting sick or the feeling of me staring at him woke him.

  I walked over to him and said I was so very sorry for ruining his evening. I was feeling horrible for what happened and horrible for how he slept in here with me. To lighten the mood I asked, “So how was your night sleeping with me?” He laughed. I went back to the bathroom to freshen up and I padded down the hardwood to the kitchen. There was some plain toast made and a tall glass of ginger ale waiting for me to drink.

  He pulled me it to him and hugged me tightly. “I didn’t make coffee yet because I was afraid the smell would set you off.” He was still fully dressed just as he had been on stage last night. I could smell his sweat and I snuggled into him and kissed his chest. I knew that his scent would not upset my stomach; he had cared for me last night and stayed with me. I felt that I let him down though; I read his personal message, got myself sick from drinking. I figured I wasn’t a good thing to be looking at right now. I thanked him and told him that I would be fine and to get going. I was sure he had something to do, but he kicked his shoes off and stayed.

  I tried to eat a little bit and then told him my head really hurt so I took a few aspirins and sipped the ginger ale and headed back to my bed. Later in the afternoon I heard him on the phone a few times and I heard the television. When I reappeared from the bed later into the afternoon, he was watching football with the volume low. He had brought his journal in and was writing in it, probably music or maybe what a nut case I had recently become. He was making himself comfortable on the sofa, he had the fireplace lit and warming, and he had removed his shirt and looked like he had taken a shower. He smelled of soap and freshness to me from across the room. I had slept through Rand taking a shower in my home. I couldn’t believe I missed the opportunity to have joined him with no one around to interrupt us.

  I could not take my eyes off of his chest, his bare, beautifully inked, chiseled abs and chest. I was feeling better with every stare. He told me he had some phone calls as everyone had called to see if I was doing okay. He said he wasn’t leaving me. It was Sunday and most Sundays are lazy days for me. I curled up next to him and put my head to his naked chest and remained there until sometime later, my stomach rumbled with desire for food and he grabbed the phone and we called for a pizza delivery. We talked about our favorite kinds of pizza, and surprising enough after I ate a few slices and drank some Coke that seemed to do the trick. I felt worlds better. Being with Rand the whole time may have helped too.

  As we were seated together on the sofa a message came to his phone, he grabbed it and I just caught a glimpse of it.

  I didn’t hear back from you and wanted to know if you got my message from last night? G

  I watched him quickly glance at his messages from last night and then he typed a quick message back.

  I was busy with a show last night here at home, and today I got tied up, but I got your messages, we will talk real soon. L, Rand

  I saw that he signed it with an L, and I felt saddened. I wasn’t sure how to ask him about this as I read it over his shoulder. I didn’t want to get upset in front of him.

  “Hey, I re
ally feel exhausted. I want to get some more rest so I’m going to head back to bed.” I smiled at him with sincerity. “You spent way too much time taking care of me. I know I wasn’t the best company but I feel much better.”

  “Madison, I enjoy being in your company and caring for you, but I’ll take off so you can get to bed.”

  I slowly started to get myself up and moving toward my bedroom, and I looked up into his eyes, “thank you for everything today, and being here.”

  “No place would I have rather been.” He kissed my head and I walked him to the door. As I watched him leave, I saw him grab his phone and get on it. I shut my door and headed to my bed. I pulled the covers up over me and wondered who G was. I heard my phone sound.

  I want you to sleep and feel better. I have a busy week, I’ll check in on you. By the way did you know you talk in your sleep? When you passed out you kept repeating something like gee, gee who are you? And gee where are you? Then you said Rand please don’t leave me, so I stayed. I miss you already, sleep well.

  I never thought I talked in my sleep, I hope he never hears the other dreams I have about him, especially the sexy ones. I was glad he was here but was assuming the worst again. I was too tired to fight off the sleep and think. I sent my last thoughts of the night to him.

  Rand, thank you for staying with me. This is sort of where we began when I met you and saw the first rehearsal, only I stayed at your home and then too we never made it past first base. Let’s try one day to hit ourselves to second or third base? I am going to rest; I am tired, good night.