Death, and the Girl He Loves

  “Your superpowers,” she said. “Oh … my God. You’re going to drive me crazy. Your powers.” She waved her arms as though that would help me understand. “Your ability to accessorize in a single bound. Your talent for matching the right shirt with just the right shoes and then taking an old ugly scarf and turning it into the perfect complement to any ensemble. Wow. I don’t know what you had for breakfast,” she said, urging me forward, “but you need to back off the bagels. That many carbs is bound to be bad for the brain.”

  “Hey, Lorelei,” a girl I didn’t know said to me. Now, that made sense. I could see everyone knowing everyone in heaven. Yet I didn’t know her. That blew that theory. “Did you study for the test?”

  Test? There were tests in heaven? I deflated even more.

  * * *

  I sat in first hour, listening to the indelible Ms. Mullins and wondering about lots and lots of things. Wasn’t this heaven? What other explanation could there be?

  I wrote a note and passed it back to Brooklyn. I didn’t look behind me, but she took it. Always a good sign. My note said simply, Are we in heaven?

  A minute later, she swiped the note across my shoulder. I took it as nonchalantly as I could and opened it from under my desk.

  I don’t understand. I always considered physical science more like hell, myself. LOL.

  I rolled my eyes, feeling like I was in a world turned upside down. The second the bell rang, I grabbed my backpack.

  “Lorelei,” Ms. Mullins said as I headed out the door. I’d wanted to catch up to Brooklyn, but she darted out before I could get her attention.

  I headed back to the tiny teacher.

  “I wanted to thank you for the invitation to your party tonight,” she said, and I wondered if everyone who was new got a party. Then again, everyone in this school was new. Unless that whole time theory was accurate. “I’d love to go,” she added.

  “Oh, great. I’ll let my parents know.”

  I thought about it all morning. My time theory. Remarkably, Brooke and I still had the same classes together, but we didn’t sit next to each other in any of them. Clearly, we were not best friends in this reality. Every cell in my body ached just thinking about it. But so many things were exactly the same.

  The kids were pretty much the same. If I was in heaven—though that theory was losing its shine fast—everyone in my school was already dead. The war had truly destroyed humanity. Or, well, Riley’s Switch.

  It broke my heart to know I’d failed. Just like I said I would. Just like I’d feared.

  I decided to eat at the snack bar at lunch. I wasn’t really hungry, but I wasn’t not hungry.

  “Three fifty,” Madison Espinosa said.

  I needed money in heaven, too? I groaned and checked my pockets, worried I wouldn’t have anything in them. I pulled out two ones.

  “Um,” I said, looking at my soda, bag of chips, and pastry, “can I put that back?”

  She rolled her eyes. If this was heaven, they weren’t very nice. “Sure.” She grabbed the soda can. “Two twenty-five.”

  I patted my pockets, humiliation burning within me.

  “Lorelei!” Brooklyn said. I didn’t have to turn to recognize her voice. “Here’s your change.”

  The surprised expression on my face made her laugh. “She’ll take the soda, too. I had her money, so you can stop rolling your eyes at her.”

  “What’s going on?” Tabitha said behind me.

  “We have to talk,” Brooklyn said to her. “If you don’t mind my joining you.”

  Tabitha seemed at a loss, and it made me wonder where all her other friends were. Amber and Ashlee and Sydnee. Those were her crowd. Not me. Never me.

  “I’m going home for lunch. I just thought Lor was going to join me, so I came to find her. But we can go alone. That’s okay.”

  “We?” I asked her.

  “Amber and me. Duh. Oh, and she wants to know what to wear, too.”

  How, alternate reality or not, did I ever get the ability to accessorize? I could barely find a matching sock every morning.

  “Um, we’ll have to go through her closet later.”

  “Like you don’t know it backwards and forwards. But okay. After school, then. Don’t forget. You know how she gets.”

  Tabitha bounced off as Brooklyn pointed to a table. Our table. The same one we’d been sitting at for two years.

  “Is this okay?” she asked, putting her tray down.

  “Sure. And, thanks. I forgot to get more money this morning,” I said, lying through my teeth. I’d figured I didn’t need any.

  “No prob. Happens to me all the time.”

  We sat down, and in stellar Brooke fashion, she leveled a pointed stare on me. “Okay, spill.”

  “Spill?” I asked, opening my bag of chips.

  “That note this morning. What was that about? You seemed … distressed.”

  I took a chip and crunched a moment before answering. “It’s weird. I’m not sure how to explain it, and it’s silly anyway.”

  “Weird, huh?” She put mustard on her burger and fries.

  That was one of our favorite things to do, and we’d discovered it together. The joys of dipping fries in mustard instead of ketchup. But that was years ago, and if my newest calculations were right, we weren’t actually in heaven. I had no idea where we were, but it wasn’t heaven in the traditional sense. So if she didn’t discover the magic mustard trick with me, then who?

  “This whole day has been weird.”

  “Because you’re weird,” a boy behind me said.

  I turned to see Glitch walk up. I’d yet to see him all day, and here he was in all his glory. I jumped up and threw my arms around him.

  He stumbled back, but not because of me. I’d shocked him. I pulled away instantly, then stuttered, trying to explain my abrupt actions.

  “I haven’t seen you in a while,” I said, flustered beyond belief when he just stared at me aghast.

  “Ooooo-kay.” He patted my head, then looked at Brooke. “She normally isn’t like this,” he said. “I was just going to see what was going on. Ashlee said you asked us not to join you for lunch today. What gives?”

  So he was friends with Brooke, Ashlee, and Sydnee, but not me? My outburst clearly made him uncomfortable. My world had turned upside down, and navigating it was proving much harder than I thought possible.

  “I’m sorry, Glitch. I just—”

  “Glitch?” he asked, his brows sliding together as though I’d grown horns. “Did you just call me Glitch? Is that supposed to be subtle?”

  “What? No.” My tongue tripped on itself as I tried to explain. “I thought you went by Glitch.”

  “Why are you even talking to me?” he asked. The brusqueness in his tone brought me up short. The area around us quieted, and every eye turned our way. He looked at Brooke. “And why are you talking to her? I didn’t think you associated with anyone who thought she was all that and then some.”

  “What?” I screeched. Did he know me at all? “Just what are you called, then? Butthead? Because butthead seems to be quite appropriate at the moment.”

  He nodded. “There she is.” He gestured toward Brooke then. “The Lorelei we all know and love to hate. Just don’t forget who she is.” The sneer he placed on me was full of venom and a deep-seated hatred. It stunned me to my toes.

  He turned to leave, saying, “God, this has been the weirdest freaking day.”

  At that moment, the entire cafeteria grew quiet. I sat down, hoping to avoid any more unwanted attention. Was I just a stone bitch in this alternate reality? I didn’t remember turning into a stone bitch.

  Luckily, everyone was looking toward the front of the cafeteria, the line serving pizza. I glanced over my shoulder, and froze. It was Jared. Jared was in my alternate reality. I wanted to run and jump into his arms, too, but that last experience stayed me. Would he know me? He was the Angel of Death. If anyone would remember what happened, it would be him. Whispers erupted around us as I
took note of his attire. He was wearing the white T-shirt and jeans he’d first shown up in.

  Were we in a time loop? Would it start all over again? Would I be hit by a huge green delivery truck this time, or would it be a small purple Honda?

  He turned and started toward our table just like the first time he’d shown up. I pulled my lower lip into my mouth, hoping he’d remember me. Hoping he’d join us and explain what was going on. Instead, he paused when he spotted another student walking up to him. Cameron.

  Every muscle in my body flexed in response.

  Cameron walked toward him, his gait sure, purposeful. They didn’t always get along, so I tensed even more when they met, but Cameron merely leaned in to him and said something quietly. Jared smiled, only it was real. Genuine. Not menacing or threatening like the first time they’d met a few months ago.

  Cameron carried a tray over to our table and sat down beside Brooke. Jared followed.

  “Hey, you,” she said to Cameron, shoving him playfully with her shoulder.

  He shoved back. “Hey.” Then he glanced over at me, clearly surprised I was sitting there. “Hey, um, Lorelei. This is Jared.”

  I allowed my gaze to travel up the exquisite length of him until it landed on his dark eyes. They twinkled with appreciation as he held out a hand to me.

  “Oh,” I said, fumbling to correct my mistake. I took his hand, its warmth spreading through me instantly with the contact. “Nice to meet you.”

  “He just started here,” Brooke said.

  “And he’s going to make one heck of a football player,” Cameron said. “He’ll be a great addition to the team.”

  The shock of that statement had me gawking at him. “You play football?”

  Cameron laughed. “Hell no. But Jared here will, right, buddy?”

  Buddy? Oh, yeah, I’d entered the Twilight Zone.

  “He’s already talked to the coach,” Cameron continued. “They’re drooling. Best stats in the state.”

  Jared shrugged sheepishly and sat beside me. His thigh brushed up against mine, the contact warm and electric. I was firmly planted in Happyville until I heard Tabitha’s heels clicking. It was a sound I’d never forget. I could always tell when she was near, even in my old reality. “Hey, Lor. Thought we’d join you after all.”

  “Great,” Cameron said, his tone condescending. Brooke elbowed him in the ribs as Tabitha and Amber sat down. Whatever had prompted Brooke to ask me to sit with her was clearly going to have to wait.

  “I’m Tabitha,” she said, holding out her hand to Jared. “Tabitha Sind. And, yes, I do live up to my last name.”

  I stared wide-eyed at her brazenness. She’d had a thing for him since day one in my old reality, too. Only in this one, Jared seemed to have a thing back. Who could blame him? Tabitha was stunning.

  “I’m Amber,” her ever-faithful sidekick said. She thought about shaking his hand, too, but Tabitha wouldn’t let go of it. She also held his gaze, and he let her for far too long before producing a bashful smile and nodding toward Amber in acknowledgment.

  I felt sick. So completely disoriented, I wanted to run home screaming. I didn’t like a reality where I was a stone bitch, my best friends either hardly knew me or despised the fact that I dared to breathe, and my boyfriend had eyes for another.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, a wetness welling between my lashes despite my best efforts. “I’m not feeling well.”

  I stood and practically ran out of the lunchroom, continued out the front door into the brisk, clean air.

  “Can I walk you home?”

  I whirled around to the male voice. To Jared’s voice. He stood behind me, his brows drawn in concern.

  “Jared?”

  One corner of his full mouth tilted up and he stepped closer. “That’s me. Jared Kovach.”

  I wanted to ask him if he remembered me, if he remembered what had happened, if we were in heaven, but something stopped me. What if this new reality had rules? What if I broke them? Would I be kicked out? Would I lose my parents again?

  “Are you going home?” Tabitha asked. She’d followed Jared, who’d followed me. That girl was truly the bane of my existence, even in heaven. “You’ll get in trouble if you don’t sign out at the office, but I can drive you if you want me to.”

  I would much rather have Jared walk me, but I had no delusions that she wouldn’t invite herself along.

  “I’m okay. I just need some air,” I said, unable to tear my gaze off Jared. He had yet to disengage his as well.

  “Fine, then. Come on before your food gets cold.” She took Jared’s arm in hers and led him back inside, and that was about all I could handle of that.

  I left the school grounds and hurried down the sidewalks of Riley’s Switch toward my home. But when I arrived at my grandparents’ store instead, the one that I used to live over, I stopped and stared. Would they be different? Would they be okay?

  I’d lost my best friends and my boyfriend in one fell swoop. I didn’t think I could take it if I didn’t have that unconditional love I was so used to. I was utterly spoiled where they were concerned, and I was not about to apologize for it.

  My parents’ house sat about half a mile behind the store, along the tree lines of the mountains. I could see it from where I stood, but I wanted to visit Bill and Vera Lou James. The people who had raised me since I was six. My mother’s parents.

  Because I was used to doing it, I went around back instead of entering through the front and was greeted by the kitchen I’d grown up in. The small, outdated living room sat off to the right and the stairs up to my room to the left.

  Grandma’s kitchen was filled with all kinds of food as though they were having a cookout or a big party. The party. My party. I had no idea why I was having a party and wondered if I might should actually ask someone.

  Oh, no. That would be too easy. Heaven forbid I do things the easy way.

  I called out, but no one answered, so I went through the kitchen and into the store. It was closed. On a weekday. I could read the sign on the door that had been written in black marker.

  CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY

  That was interesting. Everyone was sure taking the party seriously.

  “Hello?” I heard a woman call out.

  I went back into the apartment. It was Betty Jo, my grandmother’s best friend.

  I beamed at her. “Hi, Betty Jo!” I said, walking toward her.

  She held her arms wide. “The big day,” she said, giving me one of her Barcalounger hugs. I could always count on Betty Jo for a hug.

  “And what a weird day it’s been,” I said.

  She set me at arm’s length. “In what way?” she asked, her eyes round with concern. “I mean, everything’s okay, right? Still on track?”

  “Oh, sure.” I nodded, not wanting to worry her, though I had no idea what she was talking about.

  A relieved sigh slipped past her lips as she started sorting items into piles of what needed to be refrigerated versus what did not. “Thank God. What a glorious day.” The smile she placed on me was full of both appreciation and pride. “You did it, Lorelei. You’re amazing.”

  I blinked in surprise. I hadn’t done anything. And her words just brought that to the forefront of my thoughts once again. I hadn’t done anything but watch my friends die, only to meet them in heaven that wasn’t really a heaven so much as a topsy-turvy version of my old world.

  But I couldn’t tell her that. She was so … grateful. So I nodded and offered her my best Sunday smile instead.

  “Do you know where Grandma and Granddad are?”

  “Oh—” She looked around. “—I sure don’t. But I bet they’ll be right back. In fact, they’re probably at the church, firing up the grills. You know how your grandfather likes to get a jump start on these things. On a day like today, who can blame him?”

  She literally squeaked in excitement and pinched one of my cheeks softly.

  I laughed with her, feeling more lost than ever, and said
, “Then I’m going upstairs for a minute.”

  Her brows slid together. “Upstairs?”

  “Um, yeah, if that’s okay.”

  “Certainly,” she said, a nervous laughter bubbling out of her. “It’s just, well, you haven’t been upstairs in a very long time.”

  “Really? Like how long?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Never mind me. You go on ahead.” She shooed me away with a wave of her hand. “I’ll tell your grandmother you’re here when she comes in.”

  “Thanks,” I said, already ascending the stairs. When I got to my room, my beautiful, wonderful room, I gasped. It was full of boxes and old furniture. My bed was there, but it had been covered up. My grandparents were using this room as a storage facility. Did I never stay with them anymore?

  Sadness tightened around my chest. Sure we were practically neighbors, but even as a kid, I’d stay with my grandparents every chance I got. I could hardly wait for my parents to go out of town for this or that so that I could hang out with Grandma and Granddad. We’d watch movies and eat popcorn until midnight, though we never told my parents that. It was always our secret.

  I stepped to the bed and cleared off the multitude of boxes that lay atop it. The comforter was dusty, so I took it in my hands and shook it out. A puff of dust filled the air, causing a sliver of panic to rush through me. It was the war all over again. Clouds of dust swirling around me. My throat started to close as the images forced themselves to the forefront of my every thought. I had to force myself to calm. To slow my heart rate. To relax my muscles.

  Then I noticed something. In my memories, the images of the war were superimposed with other images, other memories, like a double-exposed picture. I saw two realities. When I was looking down at Glitch, at the blood dripping down his face and over his lashes, I saw myself at Tabitha’s house as she went on and on about a date she had with a college boy. A college boy who belonged to the Kappa Sigs, whatever that was. But I had to promise not to tell her parents. They’d seriously freak.

  “Seriously,” Amber said, agreeing with her best friend.

  I jolted to awareness, the shock catapulting me out of the memory. A memory that was just surfacing and yet had been there forever, like I’d led two lives. Like I was two different people. I rubbed my eyes, fought the weight of fatigue that had plagued me all day. The weight of sadness that followed me like a ghost.