The Search

  She was whistling in the dark. When Bonnie had been murdered, she learned there was no justice in the world. She could only cling to the people she loved and hope.

  Joe parked beside the cottage and he and Jane were getting out of the car. They were laughing and Eve suddenly felt better. She headed for the front door to meet them. She wasn’t going to let her imagination depress or panic her. Bonnie was not a ghost, only a dream. She had no power to see danger on the horizon. Sarah was perfectly safe, and no darkness was near either Eve or the people she loved.

  Darkness was falling, but Rudzak could still see the eager, loving look on Eve Duncan’s face as she moved across the porch toward Joe Quinn and the child. It told him all he needed to know. It appeared Logan’s affair with Eve Duncan was as dead as yesterday’s news. Duncan had a new man and Logan wasn’t one to accept the role of second fiddle.

  Too bad.

  He lowered the binoculars and turned to Duggan. “Start the motor. We can go now.” He settled back in his seat as Duggan piloted the speedboat across the lake.

  The dossier on Logan had told him that the relationship with Eve had faded, but Rudzak had had to see for himself. It would have been exquisite to destroy a woman Logan loved. However, he might reconsider Eve Duncan if nothing more interesting appeared on the horizon.

  His fingers touched the ivory and jade comb he’d slipped into his pocket when he’d left the hotel that morning. He’d thought perhaps . . .

  Not yet, Chen Li.

  He would be glad to rid himself of the comb. It was one of the last gifts he’d given her and the memories were bitter.

  “You shouldn’t give this lovely thing to me.” Even as Chen Li spoke, her forefinger ran delicately over the yellowed ivory teeth of the comb. “It’s too expensive. John never says anything, but I think it makes him feel bad that he can’t give me gifts like this.”

  “Logan isn’t that selfish. You like it, don’t you?”

  “It’s wonderful.” She reluctantly handed it back to him. “But John’s feelings are more important. You do understand, Martin?”

  Fury tore through him. He turned away so she wouldn’t see it. “Of course I understand.” He moved toward the cabinet where she kept her treasures. “But it belongs to you. Suppose we just put the comb in the back of the case and not mention it to Logan? He’ll probably not even notice it.”

  “I—I suppose that would be all right.”

  “I’m sure it will.” He closed the case and smiled at her. “After all, he does want you to have the things that make you happy.”

  “It’s not things that make me happy, Martin. John makes me happy.”

  “That’s good. That’s all I want.”

  And to see Logan dead.

  She had gone to the doctor the next week and he diagnosed her with leukemia. After all those years he had been cheated.

  Logan had cheated him.

  “Are we coming back?” Duggan asked.

  “Maybe. But not right now.”

  “Where do we go from here?” Duggan asked. “Sacramento? Dodsworth?”

  “Patience,” Rudzak answered. But Duggan had no patience; in many ways he was like a child.

  “Dodsworth?” Duggan persisted.

  “Eventually. But there are other things to do first. I’ve waited a long time for Logan. I’ve always found that anticipation can almost be more rewarding than the act itself.”

  “For you,” Duggan said sourly. “It seems to me all that trouble we went through in Phoenix was a waste of time.”

  He was really incredibly dense, Rudzak thought with amazement. And stupidity was dangerous. Already Rudzak had decided that Duggan would not survive the blast he was so eager to engineer.

  But that was down the road, and Duggan’s usefulness was not plumbed fully yet. So keep him on an even keel, don’t show him the scorn. Push the right buttons. With Duggan it was his self-love and conceit. “I know it’s difficult for a man of action like you to hold back,” he said gently. “It’s one of the qualities I admire in you. But give my way a try. I think you’ll be surprised.”

  He watched the words work on Duggan.

  Finally the man shrugged. “If you say so. I guess I’ll go along with you.”

  “Thank you.” Rudzak smiled brilliantly. “I promise this job will be the ultimate experience of your lifetime.”

  Eve called Sarah at nine-thirty that evening.

  “Is everything okay?” Sarah asked. “How’s Jane?”

  “Not much better. Though you’d never guess if you didn’t know her. She’s just . . . quiet.”

  “And how are you?”

  “Fine. I knew you’d be worrying, so I thought I’d give you a call.”

  “The offer is still open. I’m having a few problems right now, but they should be settled soon and I’d love to have Jane for a while.”

  “We’re a family. We’ll work it out.”

  Sarah shook her head. “You’re so stubborn. It’s not a crime to ask for help from a friend.”

  “We’ll work it out. How’s Monty?”

  “In love. With a wolf.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t ask.” But that gave her an idea. “Maggie, that’s the wolf, has a fractured leg and I could use help tending her. Jane is really good with animals.”

  Eve laughed. “And that’s going to make me send Jane to the rescue? Only you would think a wounded animal is a perfectly good reason to send a child into a wolf’s den.”

  “Hey, it’s my den. The wolf is just a guest.”

  “No deal.”

  “Jane would love her. Maggie’s not easy, but she has character. Come to think of it, she reminds me a little of Jane.”

  “Does she?”

  “I can tell you’re not convinced. Keep thinking about it and let me know.”

  “Take care of your own wolf.” Eve hesitated. “How are things with you? What kind of problems? Besides the wolf.”

  “Isn’t the wolf enough?”

  “You’re being evasive.”

  “Maybe a little.” She looked at Logan sitting in his chair across the room. “But any problem I have isn’t anything that won’t go away. I’ll call you in a week and see if you’ve changed your mind about sending me Jane. She really would like Maggie.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. All I need is to have her heart broken when she has to leave your damn wolf.” Another pause. “You’re sure everything is under control with you? I’ve been uneasy about you lately.”

  “Why on earth?”

  “I don’t know. I just feel . . .”

  “You’re crazy. Nothing ever happens to me. Or, if it does, I always come out of it.”

  “Yeah, sure. Well, I suppose you wouldn’t tell me anyway. But if you don’t call me next week, I’m calling you. Give Monty a pat for me.” She hung up.

  “You tried to give away my job,” Logan said as Sarah turned away from the phone. “And I thought I was doing pretty well with Maggie.”

  “You’ll do.” She sat down on the couch across from him. “But Eve would be better off with Jane here.”

  “So you’d throw me out. It’s not a good idea. Not now.”

  “If you get rid of Rudzak, I could go on with my life.”

  “I’m trying. I have to find him first.” His gaze narrowed on her face. “It hasn’t been so bad having me here, has it?”

  “No.” She looked away. “But it’s time for it to be over.”

  “Why now?”

  You’re sure everything is under control with you?

  It was odd Eve had asked that question. For the first time in years, Sarah was feeling out of control. Hell, for the past two days she had done everything under the sun to keep herself busy just to avoid Logan.

  “Why now?” Logan repeated.

  She got to her feet. “I think I’ll check on Maggie and then turn in.”

  “Aren’t you going to tell me why Eve called?”

  “She said she was uneasy about m
e.”

  “And you told her nothing could put you down.”

  “If you’re going to eavesdrop, get it right. Any number of things can put me down, I just usually manage to work out of them.”

  “I stand corrected. Why was she uneasy?”

  “No reason. She doesn’t know anything about Rudzak or that you’re here. The situation with Jane probably has her on edge.”

  “Maybe.” He thought about it. “But it’s not like her. She’s been through too much to let one worry carry over to another.”

  “You should know.” She headed for the porch. “Since you lived with her for a year. Don’t worry about Eve. It’s Joe’s job to take care of her now.”

  “For God’s sake, I’m not worrying about Eve.”

  The harshness of his tone startled her, and she looked at him.

  He held her gaze with an intentness that made her lose her breath. “I’m worried about you. Is that too much to believe?”

  She breathed deeply to ease the sudden tightness in her chest. “Yes. I don’t know . . . I mean . . . naturally, you’d feel concerned about Eve.”

  “Naturally.”

  “You care about her.”

  “Of course I do. That doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything for any— Where the hell are you going?”

  “I told you, I’m going to bed.”

  “Look at me.”

  She didn’t want to look at him. She was feeling the same mindless heat she’d felt that day Madden had come. “I don’t want to talk anymore. Good night.”

  “Then don’t talk. Listen.” He was out of his chair and standing before her. “You know what we both want. If you refuse to take it, I’m not going to force you. But don’t throw Eve between us. She has nothing to do with this.”

  He wasn’t touching her, but he was so close, she could feel the heat of his body. She felt dizzy, tingling . . . She wanted to step closer. He was so big. What would it feel like to have that body against her own? The next moment she knew.

  He inhaled sharply and went rigid. “What are you doing?”

  She wasn’t sure. The movement had been purely instinctive. “I don’t know. I wanted . . . I think I made a mistake.”

  “You’d better make up your mind fast. I’ll count to five.”

  How could she make up her mind when she was so dizzy she couldn’t put two coherent thoughts together? “It probably shouldn’t happen. We’re not really compatible.”

  “The hell we’re not.” His hands dropped to her hips and he pressed her to him, rubbing in an undulating, catlike motion. “You can’t be more compatible than that.”

  She bit her lower lip as a wave of sheer lust surged through her. “You’d try to control me. You’re a manipulator. You like things your own way.”

  He kissed her. “Doesn’t everyone? But I’m willing to negotiate, and I know better than to get in the way of your precious job.”

  “What about Taiwan? There are jobs I have to do alone and you’d—”

  He kissed her again. “I promise.”

  “You said—you’d count—to five.”

  “I did. Internal clock.” He stepped back and took her hand, pulling her toward the bedroom. “And it’s still ticking. God, is it ticking. Want to hear it?” He put her hand on his heart. “If you’re going to say no, it better be now.”

  She could feel the rapid thump of his heartbeat beneath her palm. It was sending shock waves through her with every beat. It filled her body. It filled the room. It filled the world.

  “It’s going to be good. Can’t you feel it? Don’t you—”

  “Stop talking,” she said unevenly. “I’m not going to say no. How the devil could I?” She followed him down on the bed and covered his mouth with her own.

  “I really have to go check on Maggie.” Sarah yawned and cuddled closer to Logan’s naked body. “I should have done it hours ago.”

  “You were busy.” He brushed a kiss on her forehead. “And you’re going to be busy again in about . . . two minutes.”

  She chuckled. “Your internal clock again?”

  “You bet. It’s wound tight and ready to spring forward.”

  She reluctantly pushed him away and sat up. “Maggie.”

  “I’ll do it.” He swung out of bed. “You stay here. I don’t think you’ve had much practice at balancing duty and pleasure. I wouldn’t want those weights to swing in the wrong direction.”

  She felt a ripple of heat go through her as she watched him walk naked across the room. The very first time she had seen him she thought he was beautiful as a cougar. He was muscular, big, strong, fit, as comfortable in this bedroom as he had been in the jungle.

  He had swept her away with his bawdy eroticism and dynamic energy, totally surprising her. She had thought sex with him would be intense, overpowering, and it had been. But it had also been fun. If she had been overpowered, it had been by her own sexuality. Logan had not tried to dominate her. He had led, offered, tempted.

  But wasn’t that the height of power and manipulation? To seduce was a thousand times cleverer than to force, and Logan was the most seductive man she had ever met.

  To hell with it. She didn’t want to analyze what had happened. It was sex, not brain surgery. She had enjoyed her body and his. That was all. No harm had been done.

  “Maggie’s fine.” Logan was coming back toward her. “I changed her bandage.”

  “You were quick. It usually takes me longer.”

  “I had incentive.” He sat down on the side of the bed. “Scoot.”

  She moved over. “Is Monty okay?”

  “If you call mooning at Maggie okay. I’ve never seen an animal more lovesick. She’s leading him on a merry chase.”

  “She has to be careful. It’s forever for her. Not that I’m defending her. Poor Monty is— What happened to your hand?”

  “Nothing much.” He looked down at his left hand. “Maggie nipped me a little. She barely broke the skin.” He put his hand on her breast. “Not her fault. I was in too much of a hurry.”

  She felt a tingle of heat go through her. “Go wash and put antiseptic on it.”

  “Later.” He moved over her and parted her legs. “The clock’s ticking.”

  “Now.” She pushed him away. “Never mind. I’ll do it myself. I won’t have you bleeding all over me.”

  “That’s tender.”

  She got up and hurried across the room. “I’m not into kinky sex. Well, maybe I am a little, but blood doesn’t turn me on.”

  “You say something like that and then expect me to be patient and keep my—”

  “Hush.” She came back a moment later with the medical bag. “It will take only a minute.”

  He watched her bent head as she swabbed the wound with alcohol. “This isn’t necessary. I think you’re only trying to torture me.”

  “It’s a thought. Or maybe turnabout is only fair play. You cleaned up my knuckles after I decked Madden.”

  “But you weren’t in the shape I am right now.”

  “Yes, I was. Not right away, but you were angry and I could sense . . .” She lifted her gaze. “What Madden said excited you. You looked at me and I could see you thinking about the things you’d like to do with me. And then I started thinking about them and I became excited too.”

  “Madden had nothing to do with this.”

  “Of course he did.” She looked down again and began rubbing antiseptic on the cut. “Madden called me an animal. Was I animal enough for you, Logan?”

  He said gruffly, “You were damn wonderful.” He tilted her head so she could look into his eyes. “I wanted to kill Madden when he called you that, but there’s nothing wrong with being an animal. Not if they’re as clean and bold and beautiful as you are. And maybe Madden was the catalyst, but this would have happened eventually anyway. Remember?” he teased. “It’s a guy thing. What else can you expect from a man who thinks about sex every ten minutes.”

  “Eight minutes,” she said unevenly. “After ton
ight, I have an idea that magazine article was dead on the money.”

  “Tonight wasn’t a fair test.” He pulled her back into bed. “What do you expect me to think about when I’m making love to you?”

  She looked away from him. “Turn out the light.”

  “I like to look at you.”

  She liked to look at him too. “Turn it out.”

  He did and pulled her into his arms. “If you didn’t like it, why didn’t you tell me before?”

  She did like it. It was just easier to say some things in the dark. “You said you were making love to me. But you’re not making love to me, it’s just sex. We both know that. You don’t have to pretend anything else.”

  “Oh, I don’t?”

  “It’s better not to confuse the issue. I know you couldn’t love me any more than I could love you. We’re like fire and water.”

  She could feel his muscles stiffen against her.

  “I . . . see.”

  “I’m not like Eve.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “And I’m sure I’m not like Chen Li.”

  “Not the slightest.”

  “So sex is enough.” She buried her face in his shoulder. “I . . . like this. I like you. I thought—I’d like it to go on for a while. But it can’t if we’re not honest with each other.”

  “Well, no one could say you’re not being honest enough.” He was silent a moment. “Tell me, did you ever tell Madden you loved him?”

  “What difference does—”

  “Did you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “No.”

  “That son of a bitch really did a number on you, didn’t he?” He pressed her head into his shoulder. “Never mind. We’ve talked enough about Madden tonight to last me a lifetime. I just wanted to get the picture straight.”

  “You can’t think I’m pining for that bastard?”

  “Perish the thought. You’re not scarred. I’m the one who’s carrying all the baggage. Right?” He didn’t wait for an answer. His mouth covered hers and he moved over her. “Now shut up and let’s have sex. I promise I won’t make love to you. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m dishonest.”