The Unusual Life of Tristan Smith
EFICAN ENGLISH
angels to see the angels, to have an orgasm
ASM Assistant Stage Manager (standard English)
awert newspaper advertisement, particularly a small or ‘classified’ advertisement
bandock nappy or diaper. From Voorstand English banddoek
ballot idiot, jerk. From French ballotter, ‘to shake up’ – thus, one who has had his brain shaken up
baton penis
bazooley 1. that which you are passionate about. 2. a prize, jackpot, winning bet. Also: bazoohley
Benny bouftou From French colloq. beni-bouflou, lit: ‘a blessed eater of everything’
biche-la-mar sea cucumbers or trepang. Also: bicho do mur. Corruption of French bèche-de-mer
Bride pint of beer, so named for its foaming white ‘train’
brique bleu unusually large molluscs (of the Gastropod class) harvested by first century EC Efican dyeworks. A source of ‘Efican Blue’. Lit: ‘blue bricks’
cambruce a hick, farmer, an inhabitant of Nez Noir. Probably a corruption of French cambroussard
cancerette cigarette
case-latrine poor quality red wine. From French caisse poitrine, lit: ‘chest-breaker’
cash parole automatic teller machine card
casserole a spotlight
couchette a small bed or crib, sometimes a small bedroom
Croco cristi untranslatable expletive with origins in first century EC cant. Christi possibly from Sacristi or Holy Cow, Croco from Crocodile
croix cakes round poppy-seed cakes. The croix (French ‘cross’) may have its origins in the cross-hatched pattern of icing
dab father, dad
demi-botte gumboot, Wellington. Also: demi, demon
dos-sack back-pack
dreck shit. From Yiddish
Enteralis any tree of the predominantly Efican genus Enteralis
facheur thief. Corruption of French faucher, ‘to steal’
frere comrade
frippes trousers, threads. From French frippes, ‘wrinkles’. Also: thrippes
ganja dried leaves of the Indian hemp plant Cannabis sativa. From Hindi gaja, from Sanskrit grnja
Gardiacivil police
gazetted to be married. From first and second centuries EC, when civil marriages were published in the Government gazette
gen a man, a gent
governor to work for the governor is to work for the ruling class, to be a stool pigeon, to be untrustworthy
illico presto immediately; hurry it up. From Italian presto
jon-kay money. From French colloq. jonc, joncaille. Also: John Kay
Jules man in general
Lasto-net synthetic bandage developed in Efica 370 EC. Lasto-net is the registered copyright of Hellas Enterprises
Leko an ellipsoidal reflective spotlight
lever man a burglar specializing in forced entry
lolo breast. Most likely from French child’s cry for milk, ‘lait, lait’
loup mad, rabid
meccano equestrian rig invented by Spencer Q. Stokes to train bare-back riders. A central post supports an arm like the jib of a crane from which the student is suspended
mo-ami my friend. Corruption of French mon ami
mobile-amor sedan chair
mo-chou common endearment. Corruption of French mon chou-fleur, ‘my cauliflower’
mollo mollo relax, take it easy
Mongrel Day a warm, overcast, windy day
mo-poulet common endearment, lit: ‘my chicken’
Moosone the wet season
mouette a gull-like bird indigenous to the southern islands of Efica
Muddy Member of the Efican Democratic Party
mug-wallop untranslatable abusive term. Probably cant, from first century EC
musico a flatterer, a crook. Also: a musician
parsley pubic hair. To put the asparagus in the parsley, to have sexual intercourse
patapoof a fat person
pea and thimble man a fairground con-man
penguin policeman
perroquet a green drink made from crushed ice, green lime cordial, seltzer. From French perroqet, ‘parrot’
petite tente small tent used by family circuses in islands of Efica
petticon little cunt (esp. vulg.). Corruption of French petite con
pissmarie a nurse (vulg.). From santamarie
playing card small fish, usually silver bream
porpoise penis
rak-rok block three-dimensional jigsaw invented in Efica, now manufactured under licence in Europe and Voorstand
rikiki the little finger, an under-sized person, a 4 fl.oz. glass of beer. Corruption of French riquiqui
ringhard a bad actor. From colloq. French ringard, ‘a real zero’
riveter a homosexual (vulg.)
roteuse any effervescent wine, sometimes champagne. Possibly from French roter, ‘to burp’
santamarie a nurse
shapoh the boss, the person in charge. From first century EC, most likely from French chapeau
shooting star prostitute
skipjack fish of the genus Pomatomus common in Efican waters
sorcier (as in Pin-ball sorcier) a share trader who uses computers to make buying and selling decisions
sock car tyre
soup server an actor who plays small roles
spanker backside
Sparrowgrass common name for a tall thin person
spin drier a woman who extracts money from men. Very strong connotation of ‘drying’ as relating to male ejaculation
Starbuck first two rows in the Efican circus, traditionally marked with stencilled stars. These seats have backs, hence also: starback
tarboof nose
Teuf-teuf onomatopoeia for sound an old car makes
tin-tin a dyer. First century EC, from French teinturier
toubib a doctor. From Arabic
tringler penis
valsir backside. From French valseur, lit: ‘waltzer’
vedette a celebrity
vert-walk narrow band of mown grass between footpath and kerb-side in Efican coastal towns
violin prison
violiniste an ex-con
walloper see gardiacivil
zine any printed journal or news sheet. From English magazine
VOORSTAND ENGLISH
air-kool air-conditioning
Beanbredie bean stew, a dish much beloved of Bruder Mouse in the Badberg Tales. See recipe in Bruder Mouse and the English gjent
bhalam a string banjo favoured by many Pow-pow musicians, but not known in Voorstand until last century
bhurger a citizen (Voorstand spelling of the standard English burgher)
Bhurger-court one of the two courts of Voorstand; the other, higher, court is the Guildcourt
blikk 1. a car (colloq.) 2. a tin can
bottelier wine waiter
bullschtool bullshit
Cyborg see Simulacrum
deskmajoor the concierge in a hotel or apartment building, a role often taken by retired soldiers of the Voorstand Armed Forces – hence majoor (‘major’) from Dutch. See also wheelmajoor, sparkmajoor
Dome a specially constructed theatre for the presentation of the Voorstand Sirkus
facilitator someone who earns their living by ‘facilitating’ the illegal entry of aliens into Voorstand
filtreeder a water filtration tower designed to cleanse the polluted water table of Saarlim City
Folkghost spirits in the Badberg tales who often appear in times of crisis to impart wisdom to the Bruders
footsack to go away; (trans.) to kick away, dismiss. Originally voertsek from Dutch voert, ‘a foot’
gaaf as in gaaf-morning, ‘good morning’, a usage of gaaf that does not seem to have existed in old Dutch
Geloof faith
geld-band a gold belt or band which marked the magical characters in the Badberg tales. A popular fashion accessory at the time of this history
&nbs
p; Ghostdorp a theme park devoted to historical re-enactments, often located on actual historical sights. From Dutch dorp, ‘a town’
gjent a man. Also: business-gjent
gjil a woman
gondel a water taxi. From Dutch gondel, ‘a gondola’
hearth home, family. Hearth folk are those, whether related or not, who are considered kin. Also: heart folk
Hollandse Maagd Dutch Maid
hunning common endearment, lit: ‘honey’
kak shit
Kakdorp lit: shit-town
kanal canal
karakter a not easily translatable code of behaviour that encompasses both table manners and moral fibre
klootsac a disaster. From Dutch, lit: ‘testicle’ (kloot), ‘bag’ (sac). (esp. vulg.)
kraker a squatter
kraal corral
landloper itinerant
liefling darling, from Dutch
loop-de-loop an autograph or signature, particularly of a flamboyant nature
Meneer mister
minebroo brother
misdaad boy a member of a gang, lit: ‘crime-boy’
odeklonje any perfumed toilet water
ootlander a foreigner. Corruption of Dutch buitenlander. Lit: ‘someone from outside our land’
platz town square
Pow-pow originally captured soldiers and their families (Prisoners of War) and later illegal immigrants who came to make up the low end of the labour pool. Pow-pow music is the distinctive music produced by a large and disparate group
prikkeled irritated. From Dutch prikkelen
produkter Sirkus entrepreneur
raagbol pudding vegetable pudding in which the thin strips of carrot visible through the dough are suggestive of a mop or a mop of hair. Also: Pope’s head Pudding. From Dutch ragebol, ‘a mop of hair’
rhyti a one-stringed fiddle, originally from Africa
Simulacrum a computer-driven likeness of the mythic animals of the Franciscan Free Church. Abbrev: Simi
Simulation Dome vid presentation of Sirkus on 360-degree screens, specially designed for export market
Sirkus an entertainment born of the belief that animals should not be held captive by humans. Originally an ingenious morality tale without animals, finally a sophisticated presentation using laser characters, computer imagery and human performers who are distinguished by their skill and high mortality rate. From English Circus
sparkmajoor any of the numerous technicians who operate the computers at a Sirkus. See deskmajoor
Steeg alleyway
Stempel visa, from Dutch Stempel, ‘a stamp’
swartzer someone with black skin (esp. vulg.)
Tentdorp the original entertainment area of Saarlim, lit: ‘tent-town’
trannie a transsexual
trothaus a penthouse, normally luxurious. From Dutch trots, ‘proud’
Verteller the narrator of the early Sirkuses of Voorstand. From Dutch Verteiler, ‘story-teller’
vid-glorie the type of fame that comes from having one’s image broadcast on the vid
Voorwacker an admirer of Voorstandish popular culture
vote-dokter originally a political adviser, but more recently a euphemism for someone involved in espionage, destabilization
wheelmajoor chauffeur. See deskmajoor
wheel-squirrel bicyclist, roller-skater, any wheeled human travelling rapidly along a pedestrian thoroughfare
wolkegrabber lit: a cloud-grabber. From Dutch wolke, ‘a cloud’
yardveeg a janitor in an apartment building. From English yard and Dutch vegen, ‘to sweep’. Orig. yardveeger
zee a large body of water, not usually a sea; a lake
Peter Carey is the author of eleven novels and has twice received the Booker Prize. His other honors include the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize and the Miles Franklin Literary Award. Born in Australia, he has lived in New York City for twenty years.
www.petercareybooks.com
BOOKS BY PETER CAREY
PARROT AND OLIVER IN AMERICA
HIS ILLEGAL SELF
THEFT
WRONG ABOUT JAPAN
MY LIFE AS A FAKE
30 DAYS IN SYDNEY: A WILDLY DISTORTED ACCOUNT
TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG
JACK MAGGS
THE UNUSUAL LIFE OF TRISTAN SMITH
THE BIG BAZOOHLEY
THE TAX INSPECTOR
OSCAR AND LUCINDA
BLISS
ILLYWHACKER
THE FAT MAN IN HISTORY
ALSO BY PETER CAREY
BLISS
For thirty-nine years Harry Joy has been the quintessential good guy. But one morning Harry has a heart attack on his suburban front lawn, and, for the space of nine minutes, he becomes a dead guy. And although he is resuscitated, he will never be the same. For, as Peter Carey makes abundantly clear in this darkly funny novel, death is sometimes a necessary prelude to real life. Part The Wizard of Oz, part Dante’s Inferno, and part Australian Book of the Dead, Bliss is a triumph of uninhibited storytelling from a writer of extravagant gifts.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76719-0
HIS ILLEGAL SELF
Seven-year-old Che Selkirk was raised in isolated privilege by his New York grandmother. The son of radical student activists at Harvard in the late sixties, Che has grown up with the hope that one day his parents will come back for him. So when a woman arrives at his front door and whisks him away to the jungles of Queensland, he is confronted with the most important questions of his life: Who is his real mother? Did he know his real father? And if all he suspects is true, what should he do? In this artful tale of a young boy’s journey, His Illegal Self lifts your spirit in the most unexpected way.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27649-0
ILLYWHACKER
In Australian slang, an illywhacker is a country fair con man, an unprincipled seller of fake diamonds and dubious tonics. And Herbert Badgery, the 139-year-old narrator of Peter Carey’s uproarious novel, may be the king of them all. As Carey follows this charming scoundrel across a continent and a century, he creates a crazy quilt of outlandish encounters. Boldly inventive, irresistibly odd, Illywhacker is further proof that Peter Carey is one of the most enchanting writers at work in any hemisphere.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76790-9
JACK MAGGS
The year is 1837 and a stranger is prowling London. He is Jack Maggs, an illegal returnee from the prison island of Australia. He has the demeanor of a savage and the skills of a hardened criminal, and he is risking his life on seeking vengeance and reconciliation. Installing himself within the household of the genteel grocer Percy Buckle, Maggs soon attracts the attention of a cross section of London society. But Maggs is obsessed with a plan of his own. And as these schemes converge, Maggs rises to the center, a dark looming figure, at once frightening, mysterious, and compelling.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-76037-5
MY LIFE AS A FAKE
Fiendishly devious and addictively readable, Peter Carey’s My Life as a Fake is a moral labyrinth constructed around the uneasy relationship between literature and lying. In steamy, fetid Kuala Lumpur in 1972, Sarah Wode-Douglass, the editor of a London poetry journal, meets a mysterious Australian named Christopher Chubb. Chubb is a despised literary hoaxer, carting around a manuscript likely filled with deceit. But in this dubious piece of literature Sarah recognizes a work of real genius. But whose genius? As Sarah tries to secure the manuscript, Chubb draws her into a fantastic story of imposture, murder, kidnapping, and exile—a story that couldn’t be true unless its teller were mad. My Life as a Fake is Carey at his most audacious and entertaining.
Fiction/978-1-4000-3088-0
OSCAR AND LUCINDA
This sweeping, irrepressibly inventive novel is a romance, but a romance of the sort that could only take place in nineteenth-century Australia. For only on that sprawling continent—a haven for misfits of both the animal and human kingdoms—could a nervous Angl
ican minister who gambles on the instructions from the Divine become allied with a teenaged heiress who buys a glassworks to help liberate her sex. And only Peter Carey could implicate Oscar and Lucinda in a narrative of love that culminates in a half-mad expedition to transport a glass church across the Outback.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-77750-2
THE TAX INSPECTOR
Granny Catchprice runs her family business (and her family) with senility, cunning, and a handbagful of explosives. Her daughter Cathy would rather be singing Country & Western than selling cars, while Benny Catchprice, sixteen and seriously psychopathic, wants to transform a failing auto franchise into an empire—and himself into an angel. Out of the confrontation between the Catchprices and their unwitting nemesis, a beautiful and very pregnant agent of the Australian Taxation Office, Peter Carey, creates an endlessly surprising and fearfully convincing novel.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-679-73598-4
THEFT
Michael “Butcher” Boone is an ex-“really famous” painter, now reduced to living in a remote country house and acting as a caretaker for his younger brother, Hugh. Alone together, they’ve forged a delicate equilibrium, a balance instantly destroyed when a mysterious young woman named Marlene walks out of a rainstorm and into their lives.
Fiction/Literature/978-0-307-27648-3
TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG
To his pursuers, Ned Kelly is nothing but a monstrous criminal, a thief, and a murderer. To his own people, the lowly class of ordinary Australians, the bushranger is a hero, defying the authority of the English to direct their lives. Indentured by his bootlegger mother to a famous horse thief, Ned saw his first prison cell at fifteen and by the age of twenty-six had become the most wanted man in the wild colony of Victoria. Here is a classic outlaw tale, made alive by the skill of a great novelist.