Better When He's Bad

  CHAPTER 14

  Dovie

  I WAS GOING STIR-CRAZY. Five days catching up with my brother was nice, but spending it in the cramped, tiny apartment above Gus’s garage was not. I still wasn’t one hundred percent clear on who Gus was, Race seemed to gloss over the fact that the old mechanic ran Novak’s chop shop for him, but his loyalty was to Bax. According to Race, Gus had had a fling with Bax’s mom back in the day and had taken to both her young sons. Titus had already been older and not so interested in developing a relationship with the very married mechanic, but Bax was a different story. He took to Gus and his knowledge about any kind of automobile like a duck to water. Eventually the affair had petered out, but Race insisted that Gus viewed Bax more as a son than anything else, and there was no way he would compromise our safety by revealing our location because of their relationship. After all, Race had been hiding out here for over a month and no one was the wiser.

  The apartment was even smaller than the studio Bax kept in the city, and as much as I honestly adored Race, I was tired of him being my only company. I was also sick of the endless grilling about my feelings for Bax. We were literally tripping over each other, and that, coupled with the heartache I was feeling, was enough to make me want to lose my mind. Luckily most of my teachers had agreed to e-mail me assignments for the week, so I was staying busy using Gus’s old laptop to keep up on my homework. Even with that minor distraction, I couldn’t shake the hollow feeling when I woke up in the middle of the night to reach for that hard body I had so quickly gotten used to being curled around, only to come up empty. I missed him. I knew why he was doing what he was doing, but that didn’t stop me from longing to be back with him—all of him. As much as I missed Shane, there was no denying I missed the gruff and harsh Bax as well. It sucked, and I was doing a piss-poor job of keeping my feelings from Race.

  I was ready to get out of there, even if it was not the most advisable way to spend the weekend. Race mentioned that Bax’s brother had convinced him to hold off on taking the video to Novak, that he was trying to come up with a more delicate solution that would hopefully get Race and Bax off the hot seat permanently. He also let it slip that Bax was going back to fight for Nassir, which made bile rise up in my throat. Not only because I hadn’t heard a word from him in a week, but because I knew there was no way Nassir was going to set up a clean fight and he was just asking for trouble and looking to hurt himself. I hated everything about it, but I bit my tongue and refused to give in to the temptation of trying to call and reason with him. He made it clear that now that Race was back on the scene, I was my brother’s responsibility.

  I made my way as quietly as I could down the metal stairs that led down to the locker room the guys who worked for Gus used. It was well after the legitimate part of the garage closed for daily business, but that didn’t mean the more lucrative and illegal part of the shop wasn’t running full steam ahead. The first few days I had been scared to come down the stairs, scared one of the mechanics would see me and rat us out to Novak, but whoever Gus was in the grand scheme of things, he was awesome at keeping our location secret. I hadn’t seen another human aside from him and my brother in days.

  I peeked around the corner and saw Gus’s gray head bent over something on his desk in his office. After making sure the coast was clear, I tiptoed across the shop floor and knocked on the glass window until he looked up and saw me. He waved me inside and pushed back in his chair so his greasy boots were propped up on the edge of his desk.

  “You ready to roll?”

  “Yeah. I’m just going to take the bus. The Mustang is too memorable, and if anyone puts two and two together, they’ll realize I was probably with Race.” It was frightening how after only a handful of weeks with Bax, I could draw those kinds of lines between things with zero effort.

  “Smart girl. Well, it would probably be smarter to just stay here, but I understand the need to show you’re not giving your life up.”

  I blew out a breath that sent a copper curl twisting across my forehead. “I just can’t spend any more time with Race breathing down my neck. I’ll murder him.”

  Gus laughed and folded his hands on his portly belly. “He’s been worried about you. Add in the fact you went and got all tangled up with Bax, and he has good reason. Those boys . . .” He shook his head and closed his eyes briefly. “Those boys could run this city if they wanted. Your brother is one of the smartest and most loyal kids I’ve ever come across, and he has an innate sense for when something isn’t right. And Bax”—he sighed—“that kid never got a fair shot, but he is about as ruthless as anyone I’ve ever seen. He has the tools, the mettle to get the dirty work done. Unfortunately, he also has a conscience buried somewhere deep down inside.”

  I cleared my throat and shifted uneasily on my feet. “It’s not buried that far. I didn’t have to dig too far to get at it.”

  The mechanic grinned at me, only it was full of sadness.

  “You’re one of the few, then, little lady. You better pray that your brother and Titus get this all figured out before Bax gets impatient and stirs up a hurricane of vengeance. No one will be safe when that boy finally unleashes everything he’s been holding back for the last five years.”

  I was surprised. I thought Gus was on Team Bax. The way he was talking now made it sound like the opposite.

  “Race told me you were close to Bax.”

  “I love the boy like my own, but I don’t mistake that for excusing what I know he’s capable of. God forbid you get hurt—or worse—in the middle of this shit storm brewing. Bax won’t care if it was friend or foe involved, he’ll destroy everyone until nothing is left but dust, and that includes your brother and his.”

  I gulped a little. “I think you might have the wrong idea about what kind of relationship we had. He wouldn’t feel compelled to do that because of me.” After all, he had ditched me with Race as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

  “Girly, the fact you had any kind of relationship with Bax is more than most people can say. A boy like that doesn’t get attached, because he knows all it’s going to lead to for the other person is heartache and loneliness. The only reason Race got through was because he was willing to go down in a blaze of glory right alongside him. Now you’ve gone and shaken the dynamic all up.”

  I didn’t want to think that I was the only reason Race had managed to turn his life around and realized a life of crime wasn’t worth it. I also flat-out just did not believe I had any impact on the choices Bax chose to make one way or the other.

  “Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that for anyone. I’d like to have faith that Titus is a good cop and that he can figure something out. That seems like the best option for everyone.”

  Gus snorted and let his feet thump to the concrete floor.

  “Sure, until your old man decides you’re too much of a liability to his cushy life up on the Hill and goes slumming for another scumbag to take you out. It’s an endless cycle of people trying to clean up messes they should’ve never made in the first place.”

  I didn’t know how to reply to that, so I just tucked my hair behind my ear and turned to reach for the door handle. “I hope the cycle ends. It’s exhausting.”

  “You’re telling me, little lady. Keep your head up. Lots of dangerous people out there.”

  I knew it . . . only the most dangerous one that was out there I wanted to find me. I nodded and whispered a good-bye over my shoulder.

  The bus ride was torturous and took forever. I had gotten spoiled being ferried around town in muscle cars that moved at the speed of light. I was going to have to get used to going back to the way things were, where I only had myself to rely on. I was happy to have Race back in my life and I appreciated the sacrifice he had made on my behalf, but I couldn’t get past how readily he had offered up Bax as the sacrificial lamb. It was like everyone in his life knew he was bound to ultimately self-destruct, so whatever he had to endure before then was just his penance to pa
y. I didn’t like it one bit. For all his faults, and Lord knew there were too many to count, he was also a loyal friend, a devoted son, and a man capable of compassion and kindness, even if it didn’t come naturally to him. He deserved better than the dark role of destructive hooligan everyone seemed to want to automatically cast him in. I knew there was more to him than that, even if no one else did.

  When I got to the house, I finally breathed a sigh of relief. The kids were happy to see me, and so was Reeve. I don’t know if it was because I showed up on my own power and not with Bax that had her demeanor more cheery toward me, but whatever it was, I was grateful. Dinner went off without a hitch and only the teen girls asked where the hottie with the badass car was this week. I blew them off and we all settled in for game night after dessert. They were such good kids and they deserved to have a life where they didn’t have to worry about where their next meal was going to come from or if their parents were going to put them out on the streets.

  Blake and Lindsey both complained of a tummy ache not long after we started the game of Monopoly. Reeve agreed they could be excused as long as they went right to bed and didn’t mess around on the computer or with their phones. They disappeared and I let myself enjoy the simple pleasure of having the one thing in my life that hadn’t drastically changed since the invasion of Shane Baxter.

  Reeve and I put the little kids to bed and alternated showers, and before I knew it, the night was almost over. Since I was still wide-awake with too many things chasing each other around in my head, I told Reeve I would take the first round of bed checks. She readily agreed since she had spent the day at her other job as a hairdresser and looked worn out. I was going to use the ancient desktop computer that was set up in the family room to work on the last of my homework when my phone dinged with a text message. Figuring it was probably Race just checking in with me, I glanced down at the screen and went still when I saw the name of the sender.

  You got two loose chicks running from the hen house, Copper-Top.

  I blinked dumbly at the screen and didn’t bother to write him back. I hit the call button and went out onto the front porch.

  “What are you talking about?”

  I didn’t even give him a chance to say hello. I was both elated and taken apart by the sound of his voice.

  “Two girls just hopped out of the upstairs window and are standing on the corner a block over from the house. Just thought you would want to know.”

  “Where are you? The windows have alarms on them.”

  He laughed and it sounded bitter. “Come on, Dovie. These kids don’t want to be locked up in that house twenty-four/seven, even if it’s the best place for them. They get creative and learn ways around the rules. I’m gonna scoop them up and drop them off.”

  “Bax—”

  “See you in a second, Copper-Top.”

  My heart was thundering in my chest, and a mixture of joy and rage was making my blood almost too hot to be comfortable under my skin. Five minutes later, the bumblebee-painted car came to a screeching halt in front of the house and Blake and Lindsey came shuffling out of the back. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave them both the evil eye. Instead of looking chagrined or ashamed, they both looked defiant and annoyed. Bax followed them up to the steps and lifted an eyebrow at me. I ignored him and focused on the girls.

  “How did you get past the alarm?”

  They both just glared at me and I sighed.

  “Do you really want me to write this up? Do either of you want this in your case file? This house is based on good faith and the honest desire to learn skills that will make you seamlessly fit into a family. If you don’t want to be here, there are plenty of other kids in the Point who would appreciate the opportunity to get off the streets and have a roof over their heads.”

  They shared a look and then looked between me and Bax. “We just wanted to go to a party. Some kids up on the Hill are having a huge kegger because their parents are out of town. Being stuck in this house every day, being reminded that no one wants us, is boring and it gets old, Dovie.” Blake’s voice cracked and Lindsey reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

  I opened my mouth to tell them I understood, that we would talk about it later, but Bax beat me to it.

  His voice was cold and there was no apology in it when he told them, “Do you have any idea what happens to girls like you when you try and mess around with kids from the Hill? You’re nothing but trash to them; they would use you, humiliate you, and then throw you away the second they were done. The only reason kids from the Hill invite kids from the Point to a party is so they have someone there they can hurt and use with zero repercussions.”

  I saw both the girls shiver, but Lindsey narrowed her eyes at him and snapped, “Like kids from the Point are any better? All anyone out here cares about is looking out for themselves.”

  Bax nodded. “Damn straight, that’s the only way you’re going to make it out alive.”

  “All right, enough. You two go in and wake Reeve up. Tell her you’re sleeping in our room since you disabled the alarm in yours. Tell her I’ll be in shortly.”

  They looked at Bax and then back at me. “We were just trying to have some fun.”

  Bax snorted. “Fun has no place in this life. You might as well learn that now.”

  Blake bared her teeth and pushed past me to the front door. “Your boyfriend is a dick, Dovie. You could do better, even if he is hot.”

  I waited until the door slammed closed and I could hear Reeve’s irritated voice coming from the living room before making my way down the steps so I was standing toe-to-toe with Bax. I had to tilt my head back to look him in the eye, and when I did, all I could see was a darkness deeper and more liquid than the night sky.

  “What are you doing here, Bax?”

  “Nice sweatshirt, Copper-Top.” I hadn’t taken it off since the night I walked out of his apartment with it on—not that I was going to tell him that.

  “Those girls have a rough enough time as it is. Sooner or later, they’re going to age out of the system and be on their own. You don’t have to remind them that life is always going to be an uphill battle. They should get to enjoy being teenagers.”

  “Why? We didn’t.”

  “And look how disgustingly well adjusted and happy we are.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “What are you doing here?” I was going to keep asking until he gave me an answer.

  “I was just in the neighborhood.”

  “Yeah, right. I’m fine. No creepy-crawlers are coming out of the woodwork. You don’t need to be bothered keeping an eye out for me. I hear you have better ways to spend your time.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m hiding out in a tiny little apartment with Race while you’re arranging another fight with Nassir. Seems like you couldn’t wait to get back to right where you were. How’s Roxie? I’m sure she’s back on the agenda as well.”

  I didn’t want the hurt I was feeling to come through in my voice, but there was no stopping it. I felt like he had cast me off, and it stung.

  He looked at me like I was speaking to him in French. “What are you talking about, Dovie? I haven’t seen Roxie, and what I have going on with Nassir is keeping me from making a mistake we’ll both regret.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, not sure I believed him. “What kind of mistake?”

  He threw his hands up in the air and tilted his head back so that he was practically yelling at the midnight-colored sky.

  “Jesus, Dovie, are you serious right now?”

  I was confused. I didn’t understand what his choice to suffer at one of Nassir’s rigged fights had to do with me. I wanted him to spell it out for me, to let me inside that complicated mind that had too many twists and turns for the average person to follow. He made it simple for me. He let loose a flurry of nasty swearwords and then closed the sparse distance between the two of us.

  His hands slid into my hair at my temples and his
mouth crashed down on mine with the force of everything that made him so dark and dangerous to begin with. I wrapped my fingers around those chains inked on his wrists and kissed him back. He was scary, he was overwhelming, and he was everything about this life that I wanted to get away from, but when he rubbed his tongue along the seam of my lips asking for entrance, it felt more like welcoming him home than it did like kissing him back. I groaned against the pressure and the bite of teeth on my lower lip. He was trying to eat me up and I had no desire to stop him. I missed him so much.

  I felt his fingers curl around the back of my skull as he tried to pull me closer, but the front door swung open and Reeve’s heavy footsteps thudded behind us. I reluctantly pulled away and glanced at her over my shoulder. She looked mad.

  “I put the girls in our room and looked at the alarm in their room. They cut the wires.”

  I nodded and felt Bax try and untangle himself from my hair. I refused to let go of his tattooed wrists.

  “Give me a couple minutes, Reeve. I’ll be in shortly.”

  “He shouldn’t be here, Dovie, and he shouldn’t be here with you.”

  “Just give me a minute.”

  I heard her sigh and the door close behind her. Bax pulled at his hands but I still didn’t let him go. I could feel his pulse fluttering under the gentle pressure of my fingertips.

  “I gotta go, Copper-Top, while I still can.”

  I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him with beseeching eyes. “Did you miss me at all this week, Bax? Did you roll over and reach for me at night? Did you wake up and wonder why you were alone? Did you think about me at all when you went to see Nassir? Do you even care that it’ll break my heart if something happens to you in one of those dirty fights?”