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    Perfect - 02

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      ABOUT THE BOOK

      Everyone dreams about the perfect life, but an obsession with perfection can be crippling. Cara Sykes is beautiful, rich, and destined for Stanford. She has the seemingly ideal circumstance; however, unreal parental expectations have already sent her twin brother, Conner, to a psychiatric hospital for attempted suicide, and Cara herself, confused over her sexual identity, is afraid to admit that she is not sexually drawn to her boyfriend, Sean, but rather to Danielle, a girl she meets snowboarding. Her admission will destroy the perfect image her parents have impressed upon her. Sean O’Connell, a baseball star resolute on earning a scholarship to Stanford to be near Cara, pumps iron and takes steroids to become the perfect hitting machine, but the steroids send him into a spiral of rage. Paralleling their relationship is the story of two sisters, Kendra and Jenna Mathieson. Kendra, Conner’s former girlfriend, will do anything to become a supermodel, including starving her 5'10" frame down to a size 2, having rhinoplasty and a breast augmentation, and having sex with older men in the modeling world who promise to take her to the top. Jenna, wounded by living in the shadows of her “perfect” sister, pops pills, drinks, and flaunts her sexuality. Andre Kane, Jenna’s rich boyfriend, does not escape perfectionism—his mother is a plastic surgeon who turns image dreams into reality, and he himself, interested in becoming a professional dancer, fears sharing his passion with his parents because they believe a perfect life includes a financially rewarding career. Driven by expectations, all five teens feel disempowered and fear not living up to expectations. In order to survive, they must find courage to stand up for who they really are.

      PREREADING ACTIVITY

      Is perfection a reality or an unattainable abstraction? Explain.

      In what ways do today’s youth feel a need to be perfect?

      Is the need for perfection self-imposed or is it caused by external forces? Why are some individuals more driven than others to be perfect? Explain.

      DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

      How does Cara view her parents? Describe her relationship with them. What happened to her brother, Conner?

      Compare and contrast Kendra and Jenna. Are they close? Why or why not?

      Why does Kendra’s mother impress the importance of pageants upon Kendra? What effect does the pressure have?

      Jenna appears not to be driven by perfection. In fact, she seems to retaliate against her parents’ expectations, but she is self-destructive all the same. Explain.

      Why does Jenna take Andre with her to have lunch with her father and his future wife? Why does she not feel good enough for Andre?

      Sean begins as a likeable character, but as the story progresses he spins out of control. Why does he have difficulty accepting Cara’s sexuality?

      Andre feels special affection for his grandparents. What did he learn about pursuing one’s dreams from his grandfather? How are his decisions affected by his relationship with his grandparents?

      Kendra believes “Empty is the perfect state of being” What does she mean? What other characters in the story would agree with her? How might they define empty?

      Sean lost his parents at an early age. How might this loss affect his fear of losing Cara? How might it impact his behavior?

      Cara says, “Transformation begins—and ends—inside of you.” What accounts for this belief? What does it say about her ability to deal with her parents’ expectations of her?

      When Sean learns that Cara is no longer interested in him, he does not want to stop his anger. He says he doesn’t want to stop it “because anger feels better than the pain of losing someone.” Do you agree or disagree? What accounts for Sean’s perspective?

      In what way is Cara impacted by her brother’s death? Her parents? What does Sean learn from Conner’s death?

      Shantell is a minor character in the story. In what way does she foil Jenna’s personality? What does Andre learn about relationships from Shantell?

      One might say Andre finds release in dancing. Explain.

      Which character has the most difficult challenges to overcome? Why? Who is the most likely to succeed and why?

      Compare and contrast Andre’s mother and Cara’s mother. Which mother is more capable of understanding the damage she may have caused as well as her son’s or daughter’s feelings? Who is more likely to admit she has made parenting mistakes?

      How can an emphasis on perfection make an individual believe he/she is not worthy or good enough?

      Activities:

      Identify passages for the main characters that illustrate their perspectives on and/or definition of love. Do their beliefs change throughout the story? What accounts for the way they define relationships? Write a short poem from the perspective of one character that illustrates his/her perspective on male/female relationships.

      Individuals who have been driven to be perfect often say they are afraid of failure. Why might this fear exist? Is it rational? Interview a family member or another older person about how he/she set goals in high school. What goals did they achieve and what or who influenced the choices they made? What fears did they have? What would they change now if given the chance?

      Hopkins’s work is rich in metaphor. Examine the metaphor that begins “Some people say love is fire.” What does this metaphor tell readers about the complexities of love? Find other examples of metaphor in the text and discuss their meaning. Try your hand at writing your own metaphor for perfection.

      Research statistics on teens and plastic surgery or steroid use. What trends do you see? What dangers exist for young people who undergo plastic surgery or who use steroids?

      Guide prepared by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy, Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA.

      This guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.

      Without Warning

      Sometimes

      your’re traveling

      a highway, the only road

      you’ve ever known,

      and wham! A semi

      comes from nowhere

      and rolls right over you.

      Sometimes

      you don’t wake up.

      But if you happen

      to, you know things

      will never be

      the same.

      Sometimes

      that’s not

      so bad.

      Sometimes

      lives intersect,

      no rhyme, no reason,

      except, perhaps,

      for a passing semi.

      Triad

      Three

      separate highways

      intersect at a place

      no reasonable person

      would ever want to go.

      Three

      lives that would have

      been cut short, if not

      for hasty interventions

      by loved ones. Or Fate.

      Three

      people, with nothing

      at all in common

      except age, proximity,

      and a wish to die.

      Three

      tapestries, tattered

      at the edges and come

      unwoven to reveal

      a single mutual thread.

      The Thread

      Wish

      you could turn off

      the questions, turn

      off the voices,

      turn off all sound.

      Yearn

      to close out

      the ugliness, close

      out the filthiness,

      close out all light.

      Long

      to cast away

      yesterday, cast

      away memory,

      cast away all jeopardy.

      Pray

      you could somehow stop

      the uncertainty, somehow

      stop the loathing,

      somehow stop the pain.

      Act

      on your impulse,

      swallow the bottle,

    &
    nbsp; cut a little deeper,

      put the gun to your chest.

      Conner

      Arrival

      The glass doors swing open,

      in perfect sync, precisely

      timed so you don’t have

      to think. Just stroll right in.

      I doubt it’s quite as easy

      to turn around and walk

      back outside, retreat to

      unstable ground. Home turf.

      An orderly escorts me down

      spit-shined corridors, past

      tinted Plexiglas and closed,

      unmarked doors. Mysteries.

      One foot in front of the other,

      counting tiles on the floor so

      I don’t have to focus the blur

      of painted smiles, fake faces.

      A mannequin in a tight blue

      suit, with a too-short skirt

      (and legs that can wear it),

      in a Betty Boop voice halts us.

      I’m Dr. Boston. Welcome to

      Aspen Springs. I’ll give you

      the tour. Paul, please take his

      things to the Redwood Room.

      Aspen Springs. Redwood Room.

      As if this place were a five-star

      resort, instead of a lockdown

      where crazies pace. Waiting.

      At Least

      It doesn’t have a hospital

      stink. Oh yes, it’s all very

      clean, from cafeteria chairs

      to the bathroom sink. Spotless.

      But the clean comes minus

      the gag-me smell, steeping

      every inch of that antiseptic

      hell where they excised

      the damnable bullet. I

      wonder what Dad said when

      he heard I tried to put myself

      six feet under—and failed.

      I should have put the gun

      to my head, worried less

      about brain damage, more

      about getting dead. Finis.

      Instead, I decided a shot

      through the heart would

      make it stop beating, rip

      it apart to bleed me out.

      I couldn’t even do that

      right. The bullet hit bone,

      left my heart in one piece.

      In hindsight, luck wasn’t

      with me that day. Mom

      found me too soon, or my

      pitiful life might have ebbed

      to the ground in arterial flow.

      I thought she might die too,

      at the sight of so much blood

      and the thought of it staining

      her white Armani blouse.

      Conner, what have you done?

      she said. Tell me this was just

      an accident. She never heard

      my reply, never shed a tear.

      I Don’t Remember

      Much after that, except

      for speed. Ghostly red lights,

      spinning faster and faster,

      as I began to recede from

      consciousness. Floating

      through the ER doors,

      frenzied motion. A needle’s

      sting. But I do remember,

      just before the black hole

      swallowed me, seeing Mom’s

      face. Her furious eyes

      followed me down into sleep.

      It’s a curious place, the

      Land of Blood Loss and

      Anesthesia, floating through it

      like swimming in sand. Taxing.

      After a while, you think you

      should reach for the shimmering

      surface. You can’t hold your

      breath, and even if you could,

      it’s dark and deep and bitter

      cold, where nightmares and truth

      collide, and you wonder if death

      could unfold fear so real. Palpable.

      So you grope your way up into

      the light, to find you can’t

      move, with your arms strapped

      tight and overflowing tubes.

      And everything hits you like

      a train at full speed. Voices.

      Strange faces. A witches’ stewpot

      of smells. Pain. Most of all,

      pain.

      Tony

      Just Saw

      A new guy check in. Tall,

      built, with a way fine face,

      and acting too tough to tumble.

      He’s a nutshell asking to crack.

      Wonder if he’s ever let a guy

      touch that pumped-up bod.

      They gave him the Redwood

      Room. It’s right across

      from mine—the Pacific

      Room. Pretty peaceful in

      here most of the time, long

      as my meds are on time.

      Ha. Get it? Most of the time,

      if my meds are on time. If you

      don’t get it, you’ve never

      been in a place like this,

      never hung tough from one

      call till the next.

      Wasted. That’s the only way

      to get by in this “treatment

      center.” Nice name for a loony

      bin. Everyone in here is crazy

      one way or another. Everyone.

      Even the so-called doctors.

      Most of ’em are druggies.

      Fucking loser meth freaks.

      I mean, if you’re gonna

      purposely lose your mind,

      you want to get it back some

      day. Don’t you? Okay, maybe not.

      I Lost My Mind

      A long time ago, but it

      wasn’t exactly my idea.

      Shit happens, as they say,

      and my shit literally hit

      the fan. But enough sappy

      crap. We were talking drugs.

      I won’t tell you I never tried

      crystal, but it really wasn’t

      my thing. I saw enough

      people, all wound up, drop

      over the edge, that I guess

      I decided not to take that leap.

      I always preferred creeping

      into a giant, deep hole where

      no bad feelings could follow.

      At least till I had to come up

      for air. I diddled with pot first, but

      that tasty green weed couldn’t drag

      me low enough. Which mostly

      left downers, “borrowed” from

      medicine cabinets and kitchen

      cabinets and nightstands.

      Wherever I could find them.

      And once in a while—not often,

      because it was pricey and tough

      to score—once in a while, I

      tumbled way low, took a ride

      on the H train. Oh yeah,

      that’s what I’m talking about.

      A hot shot clear to hell.

      I Wasn’t Worried

      About getting hooked, though

      I knew plenty of heroin addicts.

      I didn’t do it enough, for one

      thing. Anyway, I figured

      I’d be graveyard rot before

      my eighteenth birthday.

      It hasn’t quite worked out

      that way, though I’ve got

      a few months to go. And

      once I get out of here, I’ll

      have a better shot at it. Maybe

      next time I won’t try pills.

      I mean, you’d think half a bottle

      of Valium would do the trick.

      Maybe it would have, but I had

      to toss in a fifth of Jack Daniels.

      Passed out, just as I would

      have expected. What I didn’t

      expect was waking up, head stuck

      to the sidewalk, mired in puke.

      Oh yeah, I heaved the whole

      fucking mess. Better yet, guess

      who happened by? You got it.

      One of the city’s finest.

      Poor cop di
    dn’t know what

      to do—clean me up, haul

      me in, or puke himself. So

      he did all three, only dispatch

      said to take me to the ER.

      Hospital first. Loony bin

      later.

     


     

      Ellen Hopkins, Perfect - 02

      (Series: # )

     

     


     

     
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