Sweet Surrendering

  “I’m terrible at saying no to you,” I said, bracing myself on him as he pushed a finger and then another inside me, and used his thumb against my piercing. The water wasn’t the right temperature, but I couldn’t adjust it. I also needed to wash my hair, but, whatever. My brain shut down and I just thought with my body.

  “Come for me, Sunshine.” Oh, well, if you insist.

  I came apart around his hand and he laughed.

  “You’re not letting me go, are you?”

  “Never.”

  I was late, but I did make it to work. Before I’d left, Lucah had coached me on what to tell people when they asked why he wasn’t there. The story was that he had called me and quit. No reason, no notice. I was to tell everyone that he was gone and not coming back and I didn’t have any other details than that. It seemed simple enough, but lying almost never was. I was also going to have to see Dad and figure out if he knew, and if he didn’t, how I was going to lie to him about it.

  I spent most of the morning repeating the story so many times I wanted to write it down, make copies and then just hand them out. I decided to send a mass email instead, because now that I was an assistant short, I had a shit ton of work to do.

  I got a few responses and a few questions, but for the most part people didn’t say much.

  Staring at Lucah’s empty desk all day was more depressing than I thought it would be. I’d gotten so used to looking across the room and seeing that face with the freckles and the chin dimple smiling back at me.

  Mrs. Andrews came into my office unannounced and closed the door before coming to sit in the chair on the other side of my desk.

  “So I hear Mr. Blaine has flown the coop.”

  “Yes, he called me last night and handed in his resignation. I have no idea why, but I’m not very happy. Now I have to hire yet another assistant.” I sighed and rolled my eyes.

  “Rory,” she said, giving me a look that told me she could see right through my bullshit.

  “Okay, okay. It’s a long story and I’m not supposed to go into it,” I said and she raised one eyebrow.

  “I see,” she said in a cryptic way. “Well, it’s a shame and I think we’re going to miss him. But if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” She stared at me as if she was trying to convey something else as well. I didn’t know if it was because of my relationship with Lucah, or if she knew about what he was really doing here.

  Je-sus Christ. I couldn’t deal with these people.

  Dad came right to my office when he got back and gave me a big hug, even though the door was open.

  “Oh, I missed you. I also heard you are one assistant short. You want to tell me about that?” He pulled back and studied my face. I looked into his eyes, which were just like mine and . . .

  I told him everything.

  Not all the sexual details (oh hell no) but that Lucah and I had a relationship behind his back and that we’d been seeing each other. I waited for his reaction, and for him to tell me that he’d known all along about why Lucah was here.

  Dad watched me and listened with a completely emotionless face. I knew I was blushing for some of the story, but once I finished, I was freaking out to know what was going on in his head.

  “Are you completely ashamed of me?” I said in a voice that made me feel like I was a kid again and I had broken something important to him and had to ‘fess up.

  “Rory Abigail. Do you think that I didn’t know that you were having a relationship with him? I think I knew what was happening before you knew. I saw how you looked at him and I saw how he looked at you. And I also caught him passing you notes in a meeting. I know you were trying to be discreet, but you didn’t do a very good job.”

  Oh, I needed to sit down. I sunk into my chair.

  “Does everyone know?” I said as he pulled my other chair around so he could sit across from me. I was having trouble breathing. I needed to open a window, but I couldn’t move.

  “Oh, I think everyone else was too wrapped up in their own little lives to worry about you. I also deflected a few times for you. I’m not ashamed of you, Rory. You’re my daughter and you met a nice boy and he just happened to work with you. Yes, it is against the rules, but some rules are meant to be broken. What does your gut tell you about him?”

  “That I love him.” There was no point in lying about that, even if I could get away with it.

  “Then that’s all that matters.” He shrugged and acted like it was nothing. Who was this man? I had memories of him taking people’s asses and handing them back with a smile for much, much less. He’d been harder on his employees when he was younger, but still. My Dad made sure that everything was up to par and he didn’t accept anything less than perfection from his employees.

  “Did you know about him?” I ask in a small voice.

  “Yes. I did. I was the one who found him and hired him.”

  “Who else knew?”

  “Mrs. Andrews, Hal. A few more on the board. I’m not surprised he told you.” He shook his head back and forth and smiled at me.

  “Well, I kind of forced it out of him.” He hadn’t really had a choice when I confronted him at the restaurant.

  “That’s my girl.”

  “Are you going to fire me?” I didn’t know if he could even do this, since we were family.

  “Would you like me to fire you?” Okay, remember what I said about special treatment? Forget that.

  “No!”

  “Well, you did break the rules and you signed a Code of Conduct that stated you would be terminated if you violated it. So, what would you like me to do?” Have amnesia? Pretend he hadn’t seen anything? Set the building on fire? Build a time machine?

  “I can see that mind of yours working. So, what’s the verdict, Rory girl?”

  “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to lose my job and I don’t want to lose him. I want to have it all. I want my flipping cake and I want to eat it.” Or have sex with it. Did that make Lucah the cake?

  I wasn’t thinking about the important things at the moment.

  “Then I guess that means that I have never seen any misconduct on your side or on his. Neither has Mrs. Andrews. And this is the last time we’ll talk about this particular issue, seeing as how he is no longer employed by this company, and technically wasn’t in the first place, since he was using an alias. If you were to start seeing him after his termination, then that wouldn’t violate any rules. So.”

  “So,” I said, letting out a breath. “That’s it?”

  He put his hands out.

  “That’s it.”

  That couldn’t be it. All that and no big deal? All the worrying and freaking out and all of it for nothing?

  “I need to sit down,” I said, forgetting that I was, in fact, already sitting. Dad just laughed.

  “I just remember the trials and tribulations I had to go through to get your mother. The hardships that you have to go through to be together make it worth it in the end. I only hope he can prove that he deserves you, Aurora.” He leaned forward and I hugged him again. There’s nothing like a hug from your Dad. I don’t care how old you are.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Anytime. You’re my only girl and I’d move the earth for you. But if you date someone else in this office, I’ll fire you. Got it?” I couldn’t tell if he was joking until he winked and kissed my forehead before leaving me alone in my office with a hell of a lot of thoughts.

  I was still swimming in those thoughts that afternoon as I looked over another presentation, when there was a commotion in the lobby that carried through the entire floor. I got out of my desk and went to my door to peek out.

  And then I saw the cops strolling past my office and a flustered Mrs. Andrews following after. She gave me a look when she went by my door and I got up from my desk. Damn, they’d called in the big guns. The cops looked like they spent half their time working out and the other half thinking about working out.

  Everyone else was popping their
heads out of their offices to see what was going on, but no one seemed to know. I shot a questioning look at Mr. Dunlap across the hall and he just made a shrugging motion.

  This probably had something to do with Lucah’s investigation. Well, I was curious to see what was going to go down, so I left my office and started walking down the hall as they stopped in front of Mr. Craig’s door and knocked. His door was the only one that wasn’t open.

  The cops weren’t messing around as they knocked again and then busted the door open. Dad was trying to take control of the situation, but the cops passed him a warrant, so his hands were tied, but he calmly sent Mrs. Andrews into his office to contact the company lawyers. People were starting to edge closer to get a better view as the cops smashed the door in and dragged Mr. Craig out.

  He went quietly, not wanting to make a fuss and the drama was over as quick as it had begun.

  Or that was how I thought it was going to go.

  Mr. Craig did not go gently into that cop car. He went kicking and screaming and dragging his feet and begging for mercy and cursing and asking all of us to help him.

  It was almost tragic, really. I’d never seen a grown man behave like that outside of a bar, or a sporting event. Dad came and found me and motioned for me to come into his office. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say to me.

  He closed the door behind me as Mrs. Andrews dashed past me to go back to her desk. Or maybe to do some damage control as everyone dropped whatever they were doing to gossip and chat about the insanity that had just gone down.

  “That was ugly, but it had to be done. Mr. Craig and at least eight other people were using money from this company to funnel drugs over the border from Mexico,” he said, rubbing his eyes as if he just wanted to go to bed. I didn’t blame him.

  Stealing money from the company AND drugs? How stupid could you be? I always wondered at criminals. They always seemed so stupid when they got caught.

  “Do you want me to leave you alone?” I said after a few minutes. The voices chattering outside were distracting.

  “No. Yes. I think I need to call a meeting.” He hit a button on his phone and Mrs. Andrews’ voice came through the speaker.

  “Please let everyone know that we are having an emergency meeting right now. Mandatory for all Senior Management.” She agreed and then Dad put his arms out and I gave him a big hug. He needed it.

  The meeting was nuts, with everyone talking and asking questions at once. I stayed in the back and kept my mouth shut and my eyes on the floor. Dad didn’t mention me, or Lucah or anything, just that there had been an internal investigation and if anyone had any questions they could ask him and that there would be no talking of the issue outside of the office, or else there would be severe consequences.

  We’d never had a scandal like this before, so keeping the lid on it was going to be quite a job. We had a PR team, and they stood up with Dad and talked about how there would be a statement they would email around to all of us about what we could and could not say to anyone outside the office, including the press.

  God, I didn’t even think about that. This was going to explode in the media. Lovely. That was going to be fun to deal with. Not to mention what would happen once this got out and our existing clients heard. Oh, fuck. Shit, fuck, crap, fuck.

  I nearly passed out when I thought about that prospect. While we were still talking, I swore I could hear everyone’s phones ringing off the hook. Everyone downstairs was probably also freaking out.

  What a fucking mess.

  Any work for the rest of the day was shot to hell. I didn’t even leave my desk or put down the phone. I knew Lucah was waiting for me, but everyone was doing damage control, and that included me. I wasn’t going to bail on everyone so I could go have sex with my boyfriend.

  Boyfriend. I could finally call him that, think of him like that. In all the suckage, that was the one bright little spot. I had a boyfriend to go home to whenever I could get the hell out of the office. If that ever happened.

  I texted Lucah that I was going to be super late and as the night got later and later and still, I didn’t see an end.

  At seven thirty, Dad came into my office and ordered me to go home. I tried to protest, but then he yelled at me and I got the hell out of there.

  The cabbie couldn’t drive fast enough to get my exhausted ass to Lucah’s apartment.

  This time when he opened the door, I was the one who pushed him up against the door and started ripping his clothes off. And by ripping, I wasn’t exaggerating. Buttons went flying and I nearly tore the zipper out of his jeans. He didn’t even have time to put a condom on as he lifted my hips up and I slid down on him.

  “Fuck yes,” I said.

  “Hello to you too,” he said as we started moving together, setting a pace that we both craved. It was quick and hard, and soon I was sliding off him and he was carrying me to the couch.

  “Rough day?”

  “Something like that. And it’s all your fault. Nine arrests. Fuck you very much, Mr. Blythe.” I smacked him in the chest and then went to the bathroom to clean myself up. I didn’t have to worry about much since I was on the pill and we’d both been tested, but I was still paranoid about pregnancy, even with my precautions.

  I was a paranoid person in general, apparently.

  Figuring I was going to spend the rest of the night naked, I stripped down the rest of way and left my clothes in his bedroom. Then I walked out into the living room wearing just my heels. That led to him getting all the way naked and me working out more of my frustrations with the awful, terrible day.

  The next day at work was even worse. There were actually people with cameras and microphones and so forth camped outside the building the next morning. I was grateful I was having a good hair day, because they definitely took pictures of me and asked me questions that I responded with, “No comment.” I’d kind of always wanted to say that, but it turned out it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

  More phone calls. Word had gotten out to some of our clients and I basically got screamed at all day, and repeated the same thing over and over until I had to check my face to make sure it wasn’t blue.

  I didn’t get a lunch because I didn’t have an assistant to bring me one. Fortunately, Dad ordered out and had sandwiches delivered for everyone. I inhaled two of them and then went back to getting yelled at.

  I missed Lucah. He was the only thing that could have made this not horrible. I could just picture him making faces at me, or throwing paper airplanes, or texting me dirty things. I looked at my shoe paperweight and my WORLD’S GREATEST BOSS mug and I texted him saying that I missed him. He refused to tell me what he’d done all day the day before, but I had so much else on my mind I didn’t have enough energy to try to get it out of him.

  Want me to come and make it better?

  If only that were possible.

  I wish. But you can’t. I’ll see you tonight.

  He answered me back, but I had to answer the stupid phone, so I didn’t see his response until a half hour later.

  I’m naked and waiting . . .

  And this was accompanied by a shirtless picture of him on the couch, making a kissy face.

  I gigglesnorted and put my phone back in my desk. I’d be getting a penis shot next if I wasn’t careful. Not that I didn’t want one, but I didn’t think I’d be able to handle it at work if I had to pick up the phone and be professional two seconds later.

  I was actually able to get away by six, without Dad having to come and throw me out. But I was so exhausted that I hoped Lucah didn’t expect much from me in the sex department. I might fall asleep mid-coitus.

  When I walked in, he greeted me wearing nothing but one of his ties and posed seductively against the back of his couch.

  “Welcome home, Miss Clarke.” He fluttered his eyelashes and I burst into laughter because I was so tired and stressed and he was so sweet and ridiculous and I loved him.

  “I am so tired right now, it hu
rts to laugh,” I said, slipping off my heels and stumbling over to him.

  “Aw, Sunshine, you do look tired.”

  “Thanks,” I said and rested my head against his chest.

  “Hold on, I have a plan. You come and sit here.” He dragged me over to the couch and I collapsed on it, closing my eyes and resting my head on one of the pillows. I heard him walking around and I also heard water running.

  I was so tired that I didn’t even think I could fall asleep, but just closing my eyes was bliss.

  “Come here, Miss Clarke,” his voice said a few minutes later, and I propped my eyes open. It was not easy. He was still naked and tieless this time. “Put your arms around my neck.” I did and he picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. The lights were off and there were a few scented candles burning.

  “When did you buy scented candles?” I asked.

  “Shh, don’t ask questions.” He set me down and started removing my clothes. The tub was full of steaming water and he must have added salts or something to it, because the water was frothy.

  He got me naked and then helped me into the tub. Then got in behind me, pulling me into his chest.

  “Oh my God, this feels unbelievable.” The warm water immediately went to work on my tense muscles and the steam made me feel a little more alert.

  “You feel unbelievable.” He got out a loofah that I could tell was brand new and started working it up and down my arms and across my chest. I closed my eyes again and he started humming, his chest vibrating against my back.

  “Rory?” he said.

  “Hm?” I turned my head so I could see him out of the corner of my eye.

  “I love you.” He said it so seriously, like it was the first time he was saying it instead of the hundredth.

  “I love you, too.”

  “I want you to move in with me. I want to see you all the time.” That was definitely mutual.

  “I want to move in with you, too. But what about Sloane?” He smiled as if he had been hoping for me to ask that.