Elysian

  “I should. The Counts are still going down, Marshall, with or without my mother’s approval.”

  “You impress me more and more with each passing hour. Truly what’s on the inside outshines your beauty.” He reaches over and gives my arm and a gentle rub.

  A current of pleasure surges through me so powerful and strong that the urge to conduct another bodily sneeze seems on the horizon.

  I take a step back and pant as Gage and Logan close in on me.

  “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, Mr. Dudley.”

  He gives a coy smile. “The pleasure was all mine.”

  33

  Happy Birthday

  The clouds rush in overhead as if someone were pulling a dark curtain. The ten-minute ferry over to Host was almost a joke. It literally took longer to board the boat than it did to arrive. The island is much smaller than Paragon and clearly overrun by college students. There’s not a single car in sight, just golf carts, mopeds, and enough bicycles to outfit the entire Tour De France.

  “I can get used to this,” I say, relaxing outside a coffee shop that actually serves fresh brewed java from roasted grounds.

  Mom unbuttons her blouse, and Beau latches onto her rubber teat. Now that’s something I can never get used to. A part of me wants to bring up the news of Drake’s newest addition, but I don’t dare spare him the fun of broadcasting the announcement himself.

  “So tell me”—Mom scoots her seat in closer—“what happened with Gage?”

  I glance around at the swell of college students drifting around the streets. Mia and Melissa are shopping at the strip mall next door while Mom and I babysit the rolling cooler she’s stocked with milk from the .98 cent store.

  “It’s not that easy to explain.” Nor do I want to. It seems like no matter what truths I thrust in my mother’s face, she reverts back to her staunch sense of denial. Besides, she loves Gage. Logan will never win with her. “Why do you think I should still be with Gage?”

  “Well, let’s see. He’s a perfect gentlemen, and he’s polite to your parents.”

  She’s just described both Logan and Gage, but I don’t bother filling her in on that little detail.

  “Gage.” She sighs dreamily. “He has those amazing eyes, and they sort of remind me of your father. You know, your dad has this dimple right here—” She points just above her cheek. “And sometimes when he spoke, he would broaden his chest in the same way Gage does.”

  “You like Gage because he reminds you of Dad?” Everything in me melts at the thought.

  “OK, I confess. It’s true.” She crinkles her nose. “Logan seems like a great guy, too. I guess I’ll be fine with whoever you choose to be with.”

  Marshall spears through my mind, but I shoo him away quick as a wink.

  “I don’t know which one I love more,” I say. “Is that weird? Can a person love two people at once?”

  Mom opens her mouth and chokes on the words she’s trying to dislodge. “Yes, Skyla, they can. A person can love two people.”

  “Are you talking about Demetri?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes widen as if it were obvious because it damn well is to everyone but Tad. “I’m sorry. I know that upsets you to hear.”

  I shake my head. “It’s like you’re killing Dad all over again.” I sniff back the tears that have spontaneously come to the forefront.

  “Not true. I never had feelings for Demetri while your father was still living. And I promise you, Skyla, Demetri was under orders to do what he did.” She lowers her gaze to Beau and gently plucks him from the controversial apparatus. It seems like my mother specializes in controversy these days. “I know—I should hate him.” She presses her lips together until they’re white as plaster. “I know I should be horrified to be in the same room with him, but I can’t explain the attraction I feel when he’s around. He makes me feel special, wanted.”

  “All the markers of an affair. You’re married remember?”

  “And I plan on staying that way. But the truth is, Demetri and I, we were friends long before I knew your father. And, in addition to that, he helped me through those dark days.”

  “The dark days he ushered you into?”

  Her eyes turn a bright shade of crimson as she inhales the crisp autumn air.

  “I’m sorry, Skyla.” Her voice breaks. “I know I’ve disappointed you, and believe me, I’m disappointed in myself as well. You don’t have to forgive him for what he’s done, just know he was bound to perform a task and couldn’t be removed from the duty.”

  “What do you mean—couldn’t be removed?”

  Her eyes catch the light like the quivering shards of a broken mirror—Demetri’s haunted mirror to be exact.

  “He mentioned that he asked someone up there to absolve him of the job.” She gives a sharp look to the sky. “But she denied him, and he had to do as he was instructed.”

  “Demetri had to do what he was told…” My mind runs wild formulating all kinds of scenarios. “Demetri had to do what he was told? Only supervising spirits have to do what they’re told.” Shit. Demetri is Chloe’s supervising spirit. It would figure. And also I knew this deep down inside.

  My chest pumps as if I just ran naked around a city block.

  “You said she denied him.” My lids fly open as my heart traverses into my throat. “You mean my mother, don’t you?”

  “If the Caelestis shoe fits,” she snips. Her eyes slit to nothing as she shoots a look into the street.

  “Oh my, God,” I whisper. “She had the power to save Daddy—”

  “And she didn’t do it, Skyla. He got down on his knees and begged for your father’s life, and she denied him. Who killed who, Skyla? You tell me.”

  The ground sways for a moment. My stomach lurches at the thought. Was my own mother in part responsible for the atrocity? Is she just as culpable as Demetri, or Chloe? Or is she far worse than they could ever be?

  “She let Logan die.” It streams from me like an eleventh hour confession. “She’s not afraid to take people away from me.” Good God the woman is a monster.

  Who will be left? Who will she ever spare?

  “Skyla?” A familiar voice booms from a few feet away.

  I glance up to find a dark-haired boy with amazing dimples and blue eyes, deep enough to sail a cruise ship in—Gage.

  I jump to my feet and latch onto him with the world’s most desperate hug.

  “God, I love you,” I whisper into his ear before the floodgates open.

  This time I can’t seem to stop them.

  “What’s going on?” He pulls back and wipes my tears away.

  “Just hanging out with my mom while my sisters shop.” I give a soft hiccup against his chest. “What are you doing here?”

  “Talking to the coach.” He flexes a sad smile and brushes my cheeks again. “I’ll be trying out for the team. They’re interested in me, so that’s a good sign. I was just about to take off.”

  “I’ll go back with you.” I look to Mom as I say it.

  “Go ahead, honey.” She touches her hand to her heart. “We’ll talk again at the house.”

  I take in a giant breath and nod. A part of me is less angry at my mother regarding Demetri than I was earlier. God, I hope I’m not going soft on my father’s killer. Demetri is still every bit as evil, isn’t he?

  Gage and I take off for the ferry, hand in hand.

  “I miss this.” He brings my fingers to his lips and presses in a kiss.

  “I miss everything about you, Gage Oliver.” I slip my hand around his waist and pull him in.

  The horn for the ferry bleats like some loud unwanted signal of foreboding.

  “We’ve got perfect timing,” he says as we board the boat set to leave in a few minutes. “What’s going on, Skyla?” he whispers, holding me by the railing as we watch the fog settle over the ocean.

  “Logan. He’s going to leave us. I’m not sure there’s anything we can do to save him.”

  Gage push
es his lips over my temple and inhales a hard breath as if fighting tears.

  “I’m glad you’re here, Skyla. I don’t think I could go through something like this alone.”

  “He’d be alive if it weren’t for me.”

  “Not if it was his time—besides, you’re the entire reason he’s here in the first place.”

  I give a slow nod, wiping the tears from my eyes. I had forgotten all about the fact my mother had plucked him from another time entirely.

  “I promise you this”—he pulls back, rubbing his hands over my shoulders—“I’ll be here for you no matter what.” Gage carefully touches my cheeks and pulls me into a sweet kiss with his lips just brushing over mine. “I love you so much, Skyla.” Gage secures me by the waist, and holds on tight as if I might float away.

  We watch as Host melts into the haze as if it were a delusion all along.

  Sometimes it feels like everything Gage and I shared has drifted to some unknowable horizon.

  ***

  It’s November 22nd—my birthday—the day I get to speak to my mother, at last.

  The football field is brimming with bodies for, this, the final game of the season—the last one Logan and Gage will play at West ever, and most likely the final game of my cheerleading career.

  Friday night brings a sea of fog so thick all of West looks like a dream. The lights beam over Cerberus as he floats in and out of the ground clouds like a demonic illusion. His sharpened teeth glisten like ivory sabers, his eyes illume through the pale white dust like beacons, warning of the danger that lies ahead. But I can feel myself drifting, pulling to the looming threat. I can already feel its icy hands wrapping themselves around my neck.

  Logan and Gage each handed me a single red rose this morning. It was sweet and made me feel inexplicably special. A part of me wants to halt this entire day and not take a single step into the future. A future without Logan, Gage, or Marshall is nothing but a dark cave that I want no part of.

  Speaking of Marshall, his tall, regal eminence makes hasty strides in my direction. During chemistry today he offered to take me horseback riding as a gift. Then during trig he offered a promising vision by way of his upper orifice, both of which I kindly refused.

  “Ms. Messenger.” He presses out a carnal grin. His hair is slicked back, curling from the fog at the neckline.

  “Is it time?” All day I’ve been waiting patiently to be whisked away to the ethereal plane to see my mother.

  “And miss the game? Note, I have a seat in the front row. I’ve been eagerly anticipating your high kicks for hours. I wouldn’t deprive myself of the glory. Your visit commences posthaste after the home team loses in grand style.”

  “Marshall! You just spoiled the game for me.”

  His lips broaden with devious intent. “Delphinius has been liberal with the visions of late.”

  “Are you pleased with what you see?” It was the nicest way possible I could think of to ask if he were going to hell.

  An icy chill circles my bare legs as I wait with bated breath for Marshall to answer. It’s taking all of my strength not to jump on his waist and launch into a killer kiss that spans the present, and more importantly, the future. I’d love to know what those visions show. Plus there would be one more magical kiss. Marshall brings the magic to the table without even trying.

  “Am I pleased?” His brows furrow. “That’s yet to be decided.” He turns to walk away.

  “Marshall, wait!” I’m quick to block his path. “Will you come with me tonight?”

  He shoots a dissatisfied glance into the field as if he were scanning it for Logan and Gage.

  “Very well. Be in my bed at a decent hour, and I’ll more than likely escort you there myself.”

  “In your bed?”

  “My rules, Skyla.” He gives a sly smile before making his way to the bleachers.

  I’ll never tell, but a tiny part of me likes Marshall’s rules.

  I turn back and fall into the cheer lineup, with Brielle to my left and Giselle to my right, for the very last time in my life. It feels as if I’m crossing a threshold tonight, entering a doorway to a whole new world.

  The team from north Washington runs onto the field and heads to the sidelines. West’s football team runs onto the green, and the crowd goes wild.

  The boys head in our direction, and we hold out our hands, so they can high five us as they rush by. I try to memorize the way they look in their silver-white jerseys as their cobalt numbers flicker under the lights like a wall of exotic flames.

  Gage clasps my hand and pulls me out of the lineup.

  “Sorry, birthday girl.” He lands a kiss high over my cheek. “I hope you don’t mind, I asked my mom to take a picture.”

  I turn around, and to my surprise Emma is standing there hoisting a camera with a long paparazzi-style lens attached.

  “Here.” Gage lands his helmet on the grass and helps me stand on it, which makes me almost as tall as he is. He places his arms lovingly around my waist, and we smile for the camera.

  “One more!” Emma holds her fingers in the air, counting backward from three.

  I turn to kiss his cheek—he does the same, and we end up smacking each other right on the lips.

  Gage breaks out in a killer grin.

  “Good aim.” He rides his hand over my back, and a warm tingle fills me. “That’s exactly what I was hoping I could give you for your birthday. You going to Ellis’s tonight?”

  “Of course.” I slide off his helmet and feel at least four feet smaller.

  “Could I get you to come over for a minute? I have a gift for you.”

  “You’re all the gift I need.” I tighten my grip around his waist. Gage is solid and real. I can feel our future in the love that emanates from him whenever he’s near.

  Logan strides up. “Is this a private party, or can anyone join?” He circles my waist.

  “Over here!” Emma calls out and snaps a picture of us. Logan and Gage, each with an arm wrapped around my waist.

  A whistle blows on the field.

  “Wish me luck.” Gage plucks his helmet off the ground and trots off into the fog. He doesn’t look at either Logan or me. It’s as if he wants nothing to do with us anymore at least not when we’re together. This is killing me, and I’m afraid it’s killing Gage.

  “I can hardly wait to give you your gift.” Logan’s dimple cuts in and out. “You think we can hang out after the game?”

  “Gage asked me to drop by.”

  “Perfect.” Logan’s eyes ignite, each their own shade of sunset.

  He takes off, and I watch as his jersey fades away like the ghost he is.

  Brielle waves me back to the lineup, and I jump by her side. Tonight is a night for building and cherishing memories, for cherishing people. West will be a part of my life forever, and I want to savor this last sip of my youth before I drink it down to the dregs.

  All of the drama Chloe and the bitch squad have served up over the last year melts away as I shout and scream for my team, my school, those boys that I love with all of my heart.

  Everything eventually comes to an end, and tonight the curtain closes on an era. Sure we’ll wear our cheer uniforms again for spirit week, to the senior rally, but there won’t be another football game for the rest of our scholastic careers. Tonight is pristine, a flower getting ready to press into the recesses of our minds. I’m going to feel and taste and love every minute of it.

  I wipe a tear from my eye and cheer my heart out for Logan and for Gage—the boys I’m going to love for the rest of my life and then into eternity after that.

  ***

  After the game, Brielle and I head straight over to Ellis’s.

  The party is already pumping with cars clogging up the roadways on both sides of the street. The music sounds twice as loud as usual, and the bodies are lining the halls—the yard, thicker than before. There are tons of faces I don’t recognize, mostly because everyone from the other team showed, plus a ton of people
from East.

  “I’m not staying too long,” I warn Brielle.

  “I’ll catch a ride home with Drake.”

  “How are things going?” I ask as we traverse the sea of bodies, holding out our red Solos like some hall pass you need to stay indoors.

  “He says they’re going to tell your folks soon. I guess her parents know and didn’t freak out.”

  I’m sure Emily drew it up on a napkin for them one morning before breakfast, and they figured the whole thing out.

  “Weird,” I say under my breath.

  “Drake says we can sort things out afterwards—he said he missed me.”

  “Oh!” I pull Brielle in and give her a long hug. Too bad Drake is too big of a jerk to realize he’s not only screwing with their ovaries, he’s screwing with their hearts.

  “Girl on girl!” Ellis calls out before snapping a picture of Bree and me.

  “Very funny,” I say, yanking him over and snapping a picture of us with my phone.

  “Face five for the birthday girl.” Ellis lands a kiss just shy of my lips. “Where’s Giselle?” He glances around.

  My hand flies reflexively to my lips.

  “You can’t say that!” I hop a little. “It’s a secret!” Chloe will hang us both from the nearest tree if she discovers the truth.

  “Relax, she filled me in. I’m in the know.” His head bobs at someone in the distance before he bolts over to a group of guys from East.

  “What the hell is Ellis in the know about?” Brielle asks as we make our way toward the backyard. “I want to be in the know.”

  “Johnson, Messenger!” Emily waves us over to where the bitch squad and Giselle are seated on the lawn. I swear if this is another one of Chloe’s grave robbing powwows, I might be moved to drown her in the pool.

  It’s freezing out, the haze glitters under the harsh outdoor lighting like white plumes of powder.

  I glance back for signs of Logan or Gage, but they’re nowhere to be found. They mentioned they’d meet me here, and, to be honest, I’d rather spend what’s left of my eighteenth birthday with the two of them instead of with the decapitator and her minions. Maybe that’s how I should send Chloe off into the afterlife—slice her head off with a sharpened blade.