Changeling

  “So, what do you want with Ciaran? Is your Seeker boyfriend looking for him?” Killian finally said lightly, but his face didn’t match his voice. I fought to hide my surprise at his question. “The Seeker is not my boyfriend,” I said, looking him in the eye. “I found out Ciaran MacEwan is my father, too.” Killian sat back as if he’d been slapped. His eyes open wide, he scanned me again, looking at

  my hair, my eyes, my face. “

  “I realized it in New York,” I explained awkwardly. “I didn’t know until then. But---Ciaran and my mother had an affair, and my mother had me.” And they were mùirn beatha dàns, soul mates, and then Ciaran killed her. And a short while ago he tried to kill me. I wondered if Killian had any idea what had happened to me in New York. I figured the odds were against it---he had told me that he and Ciaran weren’t all that close. Appearing out of nowhere, the waitress clanked our plates onto the table in front of us. Killian and I both jumped. After she left, he continued to look at me, stroking his chin. “What was her name?” he asked finally. “Your mother.” “Maeve Riordan, of Belwicket.”

  I might as well have said Joan of Arc or Queen Elizabeth. He stared at me as if I’d suddenly grown tow heads.

  “I know that name,” he said faintly. Then, seeming to come back to himself, he shook his head and looked down at his hamburger. “American hamburgers.” He sighed happily. “I’m so sick of mad cow disease.” He picked it up with both hands and took a big bite, closing his eyes in pleasure.

  Now what? How did I get from here to having him tell me everything about Ciaran and getting Ciaran to come to Widow’s Vale? Somehow I had to find a way. Every day, every hour counted. At this very minute Alyce was at Practical Magick, feeling a heavy mantle of doom lowering over her head.

  “How did you found out about Ciaran?” Killian asked after a minute, taking another bite. Apparently discovering he had a half sister hadn’t dulled his appetite. “I’ve read Maeve’s Book of Shadows,” I said. “She talks about Ciaran in it. Then in New York, I sort of---got into trouble. Ciaran helped me get out of it. And we figured it out how we knew each other... that he was my father. I---I have his eyes.” “Yes, you do,” Killian said, studying my face. “Anyway,” I went on. “He helped me, and he’s my biological father. I didn’t get a chance to really talk to him in New York or even to thank him.” I shrugged and glanced up to find Killian looking at me intently, and I felt a surprising strength coming from him. “But you weren’t raised by Maeve,” Killian said quietly. “You couldn’t have been. How did you come to be here, in Widow’s Vale?”

  “Maeve put me up for adoption,” I explained. “My family, the Rowlandses, adopted me. They’re the only parents I’ve ever known. I have a sister, but not a blood sister, of course. I mean, when realized that I have an actual half brother... by blood.” Mary K., please forgive me.

  Killian blinked, as if this notion were just occurring to him. He focused on his food, working his way through his burger and shake with steady intent. As the minutes went by, I felt more and more anxious. What if Killian hated me, the flesh-and-blood evidence of his father betraying his mother? At last he looked up, his plate completely clean. He smiled.

  “Well! A little sister,” he said cheerfully. “Brilliant. I always hated being the baby.” He stood and leaned across the table to kiss me on the cheek. “Welcome to the family.” He made a rueful face. “Such as it is. Now. What do they have for pudding here?” I watched as Killian devoured a slab of chocolate silk pie, and the new silence felt awkward. I studied Killian, trying to think, trying to prod my addled brain into motion. I needed more information from him. That was why eh was here. I needed to know everything he could tell me. “Was Ciaran a... good father?” I asked.

  “Not particularly,” Killian said, sitting sideways on his bench and putting his feet up. “He wasn’t around you a lot, you know. He and mum hate each other. He used to come around a couple of times a year, and he would test us kids and find us all wanting and blame my mother, and she’s cry, and then he’d take off.”

  “That isn’t how I pictured it at all,” I said. “I thought, he’s your real father. He would teach you. He would show you magick. I thought you were so lucky to have him around.” “Nope.” Killian seemed unconcerned, but I could tell it was a facade. “What about you? How’s your dad?”

  “Great,” I said. “He’s really brilliant---does all sorts of research and design and experiments.

  But then he’ll leave his glasses in the fridge, and forget to put gas in his car, so it runs out, and you’ll ask him to get something and find him an hour later, reading in his office.” Killian laughed. “But he’s nice?”

  “Really nice. He loves me a lot.”

  “There you go, then.” Killian rubbed his hands together and looked up, as if to say, Shall we go?

  “It must be difficult for you,” I said quickly, trying to keep this conversation going. “I mean... I hope you’re not upset with me. For bringing you here. For springing all this stuff on you so quickly.”

  Killian looked surprised for a moment, and then he seemed to regard me differently. He gave me a rueful smile. “Well, love, it’s not as though my family life has been The Cosby Show. Finding out I have a sister...” He seemed to take me in, and at that moment I felt a sense of connection to him, like this wasn’t just an awkward conversation between strangers. I sensed in him that---kinship, I guess---that sprang from this less-than-ideal connection by blood. “... well, there are worse ways to spend a Monday afternoon.” I smiled in response, and immediately started to feel guilty about using Killian to get through to Ciaran. It saddened me to think that he was a real person, my real half brother, with feelings, and I was really only getting to know him as part of a spy maneuver. The fate of Starlocket was a pretty good motivation, but I was beginning to feel that I liked Killian and that I might enjoy getting to know him even if Ciaran wasn’t involved. “So do you and Ciaran ever... see each other?” Killian made a face as though he tasted something sour and took a last sip of chocolate milk shake. “No.” He shifted, and I realized that all at once that he was incredibly uncomfortable with this conversation and wanted to flee. “I’m beat sis,” he said as I kicked myself mentally for not changing the subject earlier. “It was lovely speaking with you. I’ll see you around.” “But---” I watched helplessly as Killian left some money on the table and walked briskly out the door. “Killian! Wait!” I threw some money down on top of Killian’s, grabbed my stuff, and ran out the door behind him. How would he get home? We were too far from anything to walk. Widow’s Vale wasn’t exactly a place were you can hail a taxi. But I didn’t see Killian in the parking lot, and a quick scan of the highway found no pedestrians, no cars headed in either direction. In fact, I realized, I hadn’t heard a car go by in the last five minutes or so. I looked back at the parking lot, moving closer to study the woods on the perimeter of the lot. There were no footprints anywhere; the ground looked untouched by human feet. Frustrated, I leaned against Das Boot and took my last look around. Where had he gone? Had he actually used magick to get away from me?

  Finally, after a few more minutes trying to make sense of it, I climbed into Das Boot, checking my watch. Five o’clock. Barely twenty-four hours after accepting Eoife’s mission, and I was already feeling pretty certain that I just ruined the council’s plan. Eoife was staying at Hunters and Sky’s, and Hunter answered the phone when I called. The sound of his voice made my heart flutter inside my chest, but I ruthlessly pushed down the pain.

  “Hunter? I need to talk to Eoife.”

  “What’s wrong?” Hunter’s voice was warm with concern. Oh, Goddess, I thought, I can’t talk to you about how I’ve already ruined everything. “Um---Killian’s here. But he kind of... got away.” “Got away?” Some of the warmth leached out of his voice, and I sucked in my breath to prepare for his disappointment.

  “Well---”

  “Listen, Eoife just walked in.” Hunter cut me off. “I’ll put her on.” Before
I could react, Hunter was gone from the line and I heard Eoife’s voice. “Morgan? Is there a problem?”

  “Well,” I began, “Killian came, and we were talking, but he took off before I could talk to him about calling Ciaran. And then he sort of... disappeared, and now I don’t know where he is or when I’ll see him again.”

  “Morgan, calm down. It’s not a disaster.” Eoife’s sensible voice, if not exactly warm, still calmed

  my nerves a bit. “Listen, I was just heading out to attend a Starlocket circle. Would you like to come meet me there?”

  Starlocket? Oh, no. Hoe could I face Alyce and all of the innocent members of Starlocket when I might have just thrown away their one chance for survival? “I don’t know Eoife. I mean... maybe this mission isn’t for me. Maybe you should find someone who’s better equipped---”

  “Morgan,” Eoife interrupted me, “I think you’re overreacting. Come with me to the circle---it will calm you down. And we can talk a bit about how to approach Killian from now on.” I sighed. It would calm me to attend a circle, especially since I’d skipped Kithic’s this week. And Alyce was always a warm and comforting presence---I could only hope that no harm would come to her anytime soon. “All right,” I said finally. “Where is it?” Starlocket was meeting at a cozy, cedar-shingled house on the outskirts of town. When I rang the doorbell, the door was answered by a tall, formidable woman who looked to be in her late thirties. She had long, dark brown hair that reached all the way down to her butt, and she wore a brilliant robe of purple silk. “Hello,” she greeted me. “Hi,” I said. “I’m Morgan Rowlands. I’m a friend of Alyce and Eoife’s.” “It’s nice to meet you, Morgan.” The woman regarded me calmly. “Welcome to my home. I’m Suzanna Mearis.” Suzanna stepped back from the doorway and gestured into a small living room. “The circle will be held in here. Eoife hasn’t arrived yet.” I thanked Suzanna and headed past her into the warm, golden-hued room. Nature-themed oil paintings adorned the wall in shades of green, gold, orange, and red. A rust-colored velvet couch sat before a brick fireplace, and candles burned in every available surface. Several members of the coven were sitting on the couch, chatting, and I noticed Alyce standing by a window, looking out into the night. I walked over to her. “Alyce?” I said softly. She turned and hugged me tightly without a word.

  “Morgan,” she whispered finally. “I’m so happy you’ve come.” “It’s good to be here.” Seeing Alyce made me realize how much I’d missed my friend and confidante, and I had to fight back tears. Alyce’s eyes met mine, and I could see her concern shining there. Her voice dropped. “I know that you had a difficult time in New York.” A difficult time, I thought. Difficult was right. One blessing of this new assignment was that it kept my mind off just how much my life had changed in the last week. I nodded, not feeling up to talking about it just now, even to Alyce. “Morgan?” I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to find Eoife in a green linen robe. “We should talk.”

  I nodded and followed Eoife to a private corner of the room, after saying good-bye to Alyce, and promising we’d get together as soon as possible. “Listen,” Eoife began, “Killian isn’t going to open up to you right away. What we’ve asked you to do us to get close to him, and that’s going to take more than just one meeting. Given what we know about Killian’s upbringing, I can imagine that he doesn’t trust people too easily. If you were able to make contact and tell him who you are, you should consider this first meeting successful.”

  She had a point, I realized, but I hadn’t counted on my half brother disappearing into the blue. “But how can I be sure there’ll be a next meeting?” I asked. “I have no idea where Killian went or how he got there. And he’s not answering my witch messages.” Eoife put her hand on my shoulder. “Morgan, remember: Killian is your half brother. He may not want to share everything with you right away, but we believe that he will feel a connection to you and that he will want to come meet with you again. You just have to give him time.” I sighed. I didn’t have time. Starlocket didn’t have time. “What if I scried for him?” I asked hopefully. “I’ve always had good luck with scrying with fire. I could find what he’s up to---”

  “Absolutely not,” Eoife said instantly. “What’s most important right now is to keep Ciaran and Killian’s trust. You don’t want to scare them off with a lot of questions at once or by letting them know that you’re watching them. Once Killian gets to know you, the subject of Ciaran will

  inevitably come up. But for now, as hard as it is, you just have to be patient.”

  I nodded reluctantly. “I understand,” I said quietly. “I’m just... scared.” I looked over to where the coven was gathering. I couldn’t bear knowing that I’d failed to save them. “Being afraid is natural, Morgan.” Eoife followed my gaze to the coven members. “But you mustn’t allow that fear to drive Killian away.” An hour later I no longer felt afraid. Joined with Eoife and the members of Starlocket, I swirled ecstatically in our circle, feeling my magick course through me in a way that made me feel powerful, unstoppable. The fire in the fireplace glowed orange and blue, and I was a part of that fire: fire was my partner, and together we were capable of anything. I would see Killian again, I felt sure. The power in me could not be contained. I would help Starlocket any way I could.

  Then, suddenly, everything changed. There were other voices in the room, voices that didn’t belong to any of the members of Starlocket. They were lower, harsher, inhuman. Slowly they began to get louder, until they were almost shouting. They were chanting words I didn’t recognize, but the mere sound of them made my skin crawl. The voices built to a crescendo, and suddenly the fire sputtered and was gone. The circle stopped moving. Through my haze of magick I saw somebody falling to the floor. A sudden shock of fear ran through me, like ice water pumping through my heart.

  I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes, and I could feel the magick running out of my body. I remembered the first few times I felt magick, before I understood what it was. The feeling was overwhelming, and sometimes the power of it made me sick. I wondered if somehow I had lost control again. Slowly, painfully, I opened my eyes. Before me on the floor lay Suzanna Mearis. Alyce was bent over her. “Someone help me carry her to her room,” Alyce commanded. Her face was drawn. Suddenly she looked haggard. I felt a welling of fear. “What happened?” I asked. “What’s wrong with her?” Eoife was the one who answered me. “A taibhs came,” she said in a hushed voice. “More than one, I’d say. Dark spirits. They broke through all our protections and attacked the circle. Suzanna took the brunt of the attack. We were able to banish them, but...” “Is she okay?” I asked in a near whisper. “Will she be okay?” Eoife’s voice was somber. “I hope so, Morgan. But I just don’t know.” 6. Forbidden Magick

  There is a villager here named Nuala. Without the abbot’s permission I asked

  to meet her, as she was one of the few Wodebaynes who would meet my eyes.

  I asked her frankly what devilry was at work here. She said no devilry at all

  since there was no devil. I cried out that that was heresy and that if she had no

  fear of the eternal fires of hell, how could she hope to join our Lord in heaven?

  Brother Colin, she laughed and said there was no heaven either. As I gasped in

  horror, she leaned close so I could smell heather and smoke in her hair. She

  said, “I’ll fill your cows udder if you kiss me.”

  I turned and ran. Surely, Brother Colin, this Nuala Riordan is the devil’s own

  agent.

  --- Brother Sinestus Tor, to Colin, May 1768

  By the time I left Suzanna Mearis’s house that night, she was still unconscious, and Alyce had finally made the decision to call an ambulance. Whatever had happened to Suzanna, she wasn’t waking up. We could only pray that the doctors at the local hospital might be able to offer some help.

  I spent the rest of the night wide awake in my bed, terrified by every little sound I heard. Tuesday was another meaningless day: mo
ving through classes, lunch, classes, without any of it registering. It was endless and foggy, clouded by my worries for Suzanna and the

  possibility of more dark presences to come, not to mention my misery over Hunter and the

  deep dread I had of failing Starlocket. Eleven days, I kept thinking miserably. I had eleven days before all of Starlocket was hit by something even stronger than what had happened to Suzanna.

  When the final bell rang, I shuffled out with the other students, lost in thought. “Hey, sis.” My head snapped up at the voice. “Killian!” I couldn’t believe he had come back after yesterday. As I walked toward the stone bench, I felt a renewed sense of purpose: today I would get useful information out of him. Yes, I liked him. But I had to save Starlocket. And my time was running out. An hour later I was sitting at a huge table in a local chain restaurant, feeling more relaxed than I had in days. We were a huge party, with emphasis on the word party. While I had been talking to Killian at school, he had managed to charm all the other Widow’s Vale High members of Kithic, including Alisa Soto, who had never joined us on the basement steps before. Now we were sitting at four tables pushed together, eating potato skins, fried mozzarella sticks, popcorn shrimp---every kind of appetizer on the menu. Killian was the center of attention---right now he was in the middle of a story about magick gone wrong--- “Oh, Goddess, and there I was in that field, with a flipping angry bull, and me in my robe and nothing else...”

  Bree was laughing, leaning against Robbie. She hadn’t been impressed with Killian in New York, but she seemed to have accepted him now that she knew he was my half brother. Anyway, I was glad that Bree hadn’t been attracted to Killian. In the past, she had always gone after whoever she wanted and had always gotten them---except Cal. But she was definitely not flirting with Killian, and she had deliberately sat next to Robbie at the table. True, Robbie was better looking than Killian.