By my Side

By my Side

  By

  Natasha Weber

 

 

  Copyright 2017 Natasha Weber

  Gert wanders the streets purposelessly. A woman had taken away his purpose. He has no job and nowhere to go. He walks past a woman who calls his name.

  "Gert? Is that you?"

  He looks behind him. It's Andrea, a coworker from a previous job. "Andrea?"

  She skips over to him carrying her giant arrow pointing to a nearby android repair shop. She was always an energetic girl. Apparently, she has gotten an even worse job than the one she had before. "Wow, you look like a robo-hobo!"

  Gert frowns and says sarcastically, "Thanks."

  He crosses his arms. "Andrea, you of all people know it's offensive to call an android a robot."

  "You're more offended by that than the fact I called you a hobo?" Andrea giggles.

  "Technically, I am a hobo right now. My girlfriend dumped me." He sighs sadly. "She just kicked me out..."

  Andrea almost immediately starts crying "So sad. You can come stay with me for awhile if you want. So long as you don't look and dress like a hobo. Come back here at five."

  "Okay, but..." He looks at her ridiculous sign. "I know our jobs in retail weren't ideal but a sign-twirler?"

  Andrea makes a face. "I twirl my sign proudly, thank you very much!"

  ***

  On the drive to her apartment later, Gert tells her, "it's kind of you to help me out like this. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

    Andrea laughs. “No. I’m just glad to help you. If you want, you can stay with me until you find a job.”

  Gert is surprised at her generosity. “Why?”

  Andrea makes a face. “What, do I offend you? When someone offers you something so nice, you just say ‘yes’.” Gert just looks at her blankly, and then says, “okay.”

  ***

  As Andrea opens the door to her tiny apartment, she says excitedly, “it’s been so long since I've had company!" She pulls him inside the apartment and finds him blankets and a pillow from her tiny closet.

  Gert looks at the tiny house in shock. It’s filthy—clothes and papers strewn about the floor. Old banana peels and styrofoam coffee cups. Most disgusting of all, there were beer bottles lying around. “Good lord, Andrea…"

  She glares at him and shoves the pillow and blankets into his arms. “I work on projects late at night. It takes a lot of coffee, and I don’t have time to clean up.”

  Gert looks around thoughtfully. “How about I work as your housekeeper? I’ll work for cheap…”

  Andrea takes a swig of the beer she was drinking and then crunches it and tosses it to the side. Gert cringes. For a girl so tiny and sweet looking, she seemed to have a lot of gross, manly habits. She shrugs. “Okay. I’ll pay you eighty bucks a week, since you’re also living with me.”

  He clears his throat. “I’m gonna buy your groceries, too.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “What are you saying?”

  “There’s old beer bottles everywhere!” He replies, aghast.

  “A drink here and there never hurt anyone…” She retorts. “What’s the point of living if you can’t have a cold one at the end of a long day of work?”

  “You’ll damage your liver.” He says chidingly.

  "You sound like my mother..." Andrea makes a face.

  "Luckily this place has an extra bedroom. Good deal for such a crapshack, huh? Well, I'm going to bed..." As Andrea heads off to bed, Gert asks, holding the sheets and pillow, "these have been laundered, right?"

  ***

  In the morning, Andrea has already gone to work. She left a note out for him. Good luck cleaning up. There’s no food in the fridge, so you can go shopping.

  She left a fifty out for him. He grabs it and puts it in his pocket and then checks her fridge. He is once again aghast. The only thing in there is a six pack.

  Gert shuts the door and looks around the tiny apartment. He sighs and smoothes his hair back. He wonders where he should start. He pulls up a trashcan and starts tossing beer bottles into it.

  Afterwards, he starts picking up her clothing from the floor. Most are just dresses, but he embarrassingly picks up a few bras, shaking his head, and tosses them into her hamper.

  She has also left strange tools all over the ground—supposedly to tinker with machines whenever she’s bored. He throws all these in a box and puts them in the closet along with metal parts left near her couch. He bends down and tries to grab a little plush-sized robot that looked like a little mechanical spider—but it skitters away and hides underneath the couch. Gert is embarrassed that he actually yelped when he found out it was operational.

  ***

  Andrea comes home at about 5 p.m. and is flabbergasted by how good her apartment looks. “Oh my god! It’s beautiful!” She runs through the apartment looking in every room and jumps with excitement. But, once she’s done looking around, she turns to him skeptically. “Hey, where’s all my junk?”

  “In the closet. Your robot skittered underneath your couch, by the way.” He says to her.

  She giggles, “Barry, come on out!”

  The robot skitters out from under the couch and Andrea crouches and catches it as it skitters towards her. “Isn’t it nice and clean in here, buddy? It’s gonna make me more motivated to make you some siblings! Come on, let’s check the fridge!”

  Andrea checks it excitedly and then after a moment of silence in which her shoulders slump. She slams the door shut and turns to Gert with a glare that would make a human man duck for cover. “Health foods! And no new booze! You sicko...”

  “You need to eat healthier. You’re thirty and it’s time you started taking proper care of yourself.” He tells her matter-of-factly.

  “Thirty? I'm not thirty! I'm twenty-nine!" She yells. “You’re not allowed to mention that fact!"

  Gert realizes she is truly angry. “I’m sorry. You can fire me if you want."

  She frowns for a moment, and then she smoothes her black hair back and forces a laugh.

  “Nah, it’s okay… I’m mostly joking. Although I really am kind of pissed about the booze… The place really does look great though. Would you mind powering down for now?"

  Gert nods a little reticently and heads to his room. Although he said he would powerdown, he is not bored enough to do so yet. He grabs a book from the shelf and starts reading.

  Andrea is watching TV in a different room for about an hour when Gert hears the door unlock.

  A man pads in and says to Andrea, “wow, you cleaned up. Looks great, baby.”

  “Thanks…” Andrea replies shyly.

  Gert peaks out the crack between the wall and his door. The man, Dakota, is a tall man towering over the short, five foot, Andrea—a girl who only just reached five feet. This man was one head taller than her with green eyes and red hair and looked a little like a toothpick.

  “Can you grab me a beer, Andrea?” Dakota asks.

  “Sure I can …” Andrea suggests politely.

  Dakota looks directly at Gert’s door and notices the light is on. “Andrea, do you have a guest?”

  Andrea looks at her feet. “It's an android--he doesn't have a job right now... I hired him to cook and clean."

  He grabs her shoulders angrily and Andrea avoids his gaze fearfully. “Dammit Andrea! I should have known you'd sleep with an android! You spend all your time tinkering with your stupid contraptions and obsessing over machines!”

  “Don’t shake me!” Andrea backs away from him defensively. “Please, I didn’t sleep with him!"

  Dakota’s expression softens and he sighs, shaking his head. “Have him out in the morning… Sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed you like that.” br />
  Dakota tries to kiss her, but she steps away. Dakota's shoulders slump miserably.

  They walk away from the door and Gert doesn’t see them anymore. He hears Dakota say, “they said we have to have to conceive by December or we’ll have missed our window…. You know, you might be able to conceive easier if you weren’t always stressed. Maybe you should quit your job. I’ll look after you.”

  Andrea says pleadingly, "I like having my own money though. Can I keep working?"

  “I wish you wouldn’t…” Dakota replies. “But I won’t stop you.”

  “Thanks..." She replies.

  Gert hears Dakota say, “wow, he even whisked the couch…”

  Gert hastily powers down with a shrug after that.

  ***

  Gert automatically powers on about seven hours later. He pads out into the kitchen and makes breakfast for Andrea and her friend. Gert hopes Andrea will let him stay, but he doesn’t hold out much hope for it.

  He makes them bacon and eggs and pours them both orange juice. Andrea left for work at about nine the other day, and it is now eight. Gert knocks on her door.

  “Hm?” He hears her moan tiredly. Gert cracks the door open and sees the two of them, separated by inches of space, on either side of the bed—backs facing one another.

  Andrea sits up and Dakota is so far away from her he accidentally rolls off the bed. Not caring that he just fell, Dakota checks his watch. “Oh crap, I gotta get going soon…”

  They both jump out of bed and go to their adjoining bathroom. Gert shuts the door. He blanches at the eight beer bottles left out and tosses them into the trash. About thirty minutes later, Andrea and Dakota emerge from their bedroom.

  Andrea introduces Dakota. "Gert, this is my husband Dakota."

  “So this is him…” Dakota states when he sees Gert. He glances at Gert’s hand and notices a ring. “His girlfriend wanted to marry him?”

  Andrea shrugs. “I didn’t notice….”

  “He’s going to tempt you.” Dakota complains.

  Andrea glares at him. “Why don’t you trust me? You really think I’d cheat on you with an android?”

  “Yes, I do! The whole reason why marriages are government prescribed is because humans wouldn’t stop marrying androids! How can I especially trust a girl like you who’s obsessed with them!” Dakota retorts angrily.

  “You really think I'm that much of a loser? If I wanted to cheat on you I could definitely get a real guy!"

  Dakota bites back laughter.

  Gert clears his throat--pretending he didn't just see that whole display. “Anyway. Come eat your breakfast.”

  Dakota huffily sits down across his wife at their small, round table. Gert brings their eggs and bacon and Dakota angrily takes a bite of his bacon. In a moment however, a look comes over his face like his breakfast has opened his eyes to the world's wonders. "My god. How does something so perfect exist?"

  Andrea laughs a little. “Should we keep him on, then?”

  Dakota is conflicted. “I’m still not entirely sure he hasn’t slept with you, though! A man should not have to choose between his wife and food this good...”

  Andrea puts her hand on top of Dakota’s and tells him, as genuinely and compassionately as she can muster, “I promise you I haven’t.”

  He looks down at his plate thoughtfully. “Fine, he can stay for now. But only because he’s such a good cook. Remember when you tried to cook for us? God it was awful. You made those extra salty pancakes.”

  Andrea looks down at her hands sadly.

  Dakota didn’t think she would take it so seriously. “Come on, don’t be sad… I didn’t mean it.”

  ***

  At this point, Gert had tuned the two of them out. He was looking at his ring.

  When the two of them are gone, Gert wonders what he just witnessed. Humans are complex. I wish I were that complex. Maybe my girlfriend wouldn't have dumped me.

  Gert makes sure the house is spic and span, and reorganizes a few more things in the house.

  For the rest of the day, Gert reads some of the books on Andrea’s shelf—most of them having to do with robots--takes a walk, and watches TV.

  Andrea clicks the door open and says, “I’m home… Oh it’s still so clean!"

  Gert shrugs with a little smile. “Is Dakota coming back tonight?”

  Andrea frowns angrily. “No, thank goodness. He only comes around every Tuesday at night.”

                  ***

  At Gert’s look of confusion she explains, “I guess androids wouldn't know, huh? Husbands and wives are only allowed to see each other once every Tuesday night. Government rules. Statistics show marriages work out better that way. Since the human race is dwindling, the government feels the need to make sure marriages work out. You sign up for a husband or wife before you turn thirty if you want kids…”

  Andrea explains it all to him. Governments pick mates based on both good matches for personality, and good matches for genes, but genes matter more to the government. If humans decided to get divorced, they were not allowed to remarry. This convinced them to stay together and have more children. Humans could have children out of wedlock, but they did not have the same opportunities as children born from a government approved marriages. They were not allowed to go to school, could not get married, and had little opportunities for good jobs. The government wanted quality children as well as a quantity of children.

  Andrea grabs a beer from the fridge and throws herself down on her couch, "I've known him for a year..."

  “What was up with the beer bottles last night?” Gert asks.

  Andrea makes a face. “You have to be drunk to sleep with that jackass… He feels the same way, obviously.”

  Gert smiles a little. “He likes you…”

  Andrea slams her beer down on her side table. “He’s a bastard! A controlling, nagging jerk who makes fun of me for not being able to conceive!"

  “You’re a lot different around him. You’re pretty fired up around me. I'm surprised you've known each other for a year.”

  “Yeah... I'm trying to be a good, submissive wife..." Andrea says wistfully.

  She tosses her now empty beer bottle into a nearby trashcan. “Why would they assign me such an inconsiderate jerk! You know what happened last night?”

  Gert isn't sure he wants to know, but before he can protest Adnrea says, “he said he didn’t want to sleep with me sober because I gained weight!”

  Gert grins a little--it sounded like Dakota was just trying to get under her skin. “Did you provoke him?”

  Andrea thinks about it. Her expression softens. “I just said that he could have at least dressed up for the occasion and washed his greasy hair… Well, minus the thing about his greasy hair.”

  Gert chuckles a little. “Did you ever get along well?”

  She looks to the side with a coy smile, embarrassed. “For a long time..."

  Andrea sits there for a moment in silence. She starts crying silent tears and she says to Gert, “excuse me… I’m gonna go tinker with robots in my room.”

  Gert has an idea as he watches Andrea go. He wants to help bring the two of them together. He must cook them an amazing dinner the next time Dakota comes around. That will bring them together.

  ***

  Androids are programmed to obey humans. When his girlfriend essentially told him she wanted him to stay at her apartment all day and clean and cook, he did so happily. He wasn't so happy when she got pregnant and told him to hit the road, however. Seven years down the drain. He became very depressed after that and was very grateful to Andrea for letting him stay with her. He wanted to help her.

  He wanted to prove to himself that marriage could work. He’d like to try to co-habit again some time, after all. He wanted to give his own life meaning again.

  ***

  So, next Tuesday, Gert cooks the two of them the best dinner he could possibly think of.
He asks Andrea what her favorite food is, and also asks her what Dakota’s is.

  “Mine’s pizza. Dakota’s is… potato soup.” Andrea turns away after answering. She was blushing.

  When Dakota arrives later that night, he greets Andrea and Gert civilly. “Hello...”

  Dakota kisses her cheek, avoiding her gaze—she avoids his, too. They both pull apart quickly.

  Dakota sniffs. “Oh boy. What did he make today?”

  Andrea smiles a little. “Potato soup and pizza…”

  Dakota smiles and looks at her a little intently. “Potato soup?”

  Andrea returns his smile but does not meet his gaze. When she doesn’t, Dakota puts his suitcase aside with a sigh and a frown.

  Gert ushers the two of them into the kitchen, wearing an apron. He then seats the both of them at the small, round, table and then heads back into Andrea’s guest room. He politely powers down for the rest of the night.

    Andrea and Dakota are quiet for what seems like an entire minute—just awkwardly wolfing down the food. Dakota looks up at her with a grin. “This is the best thing I ever tasted! Remember when I made us potato soup?”

  Andrea looks up at him with a little smile for a second, and then frowns. “It was a really fun night… You were really sweet back then.”

  “I was sweet?” Dakota asks, offended.

  Andrea angrily takes a bite of her pizza. “You were nice before you started nagging me about conceiving!”

  Dakota takes a sip of water defiantly. “You were nice before you became as icy as the robots you tinker with—and now apparently sleep with!”

  Andrea stands up abruptly and knocks her chair over. “You’re the one who goes to art class everyday drawing naked sluts! How do I know you haven’t slept with them?”

  Dakota is shocked at such an accusation. “It’s their job Andrea! How could you accuse me of such a thing?”

  “Why wouldn’t you? Those women can actually give you children!” Andrea retorts.

  Dakota grits his teeth and stands up as well, meeting her gaze. “Maybe you could conceive if your womb wasn’t as cold as ice!”

  Andrea is crying and laughing at the same time. “That’s a pretty good one…”

  Dakota drops the fork he was holding and pads over to her side. She is crying legitimately—covering her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it—don’t cry…”