Kirkland Revels

  I began to call Friday again, and I noticed that it had become considerably darker than when I had first entered the ruins. Evening skies change rapidly, and the red was now streaked with grey. The sun had disappeared and soon darkness would descend upon me . and the Abbey.

  I tried to leave by the way I had come at least I thought it was the way I had come, but after a few minutes I realised that I was in a section of the ruins which I had not visited before. I saw part of a staircase, leading down to darkness;

  I turned and hurried away; I tripped over a ridge of stone and only saved myself in time. I had a horrible fear of breaking an ankle and being forced to spend the night here . a prisoner. I began to feel faint at the thought of it.

  This was most unlike myself. What is this? I demanded. Nothing but bricks and grass. Why be afraid? But what was the use? I was afraid.

  I blundered on. My one thought, my great desire, was to escape from the ruins of Kirkland Abbey.

  It was only now that I had lost my way that I became fully aware of the vastaess of the place; and there was a time during that nocturnal adventure when I thought I should never find my way out of the maze of stone. With every passing second the light was fading and I was so anxious to get away from the place that I panicked and lost my sense of direction.

  At length when I did escape I came out on the far side of the Abbey and it was now between me and the house.

  Nothing would have induced me to go back the way I had come, which would have been difficult in any case, for I should have lost myself in that pile of stones. I ran on swiftly until I found a road. This I took and, guessing my direction, I hurried on, now and then breaking into a run.

  As I came to a clump of trees through which the road wound, a figure emerged and for a moment I knew terror. Then it took on a familiar shape and a voice I knew said:

  " Hallo! Have you got the devil at your heels?"

  The note of mockery in that voice set annoyance swamping my fear.

  " I lost my way, Mr. Redvers," I said. " But I think I'm on the right road now."

  He laughed. " You are, but I can show you a short cut .. if you'll allow me."

  " Doesn't this road lead to the house?"

  " It does ... eventually. But if you cut through the trees here you come out about half a mile nearer. Will you allow me to escort you?"

  " Thank you," I said stiffly.

  We walked side by side and he fitted his step to mine.

  "How did you come to be out alone at this hour?" he asked.

  I told him that my dog had been out all afternoon and evening, and I was anxious.

  " You shouldn't wander too far alone," he reproved me " You see how easy it is to lose yourself."

  "Had it been day I should easily have found the righ! road."

  " But it was not day. As for the dog, doubtless he has found a little companion somewhere. Dogs will be dogs."

  I did not answer him; we had come through the trees and I saw the house. In five minutes we were there.

  Gabriel, Ruth, Luke and Dr. Smith were in the grounds They were all looking for me. The doctor had come in to see Sir Matthew and had heard that I had disappeared.

  Gabriel was so anxious that he was almost angry with me for the first time in our lives.

  I breathlessly explained that I had been looking for Friday, had got lost among the ruins and met Simon Redvers on the way back.

  " You shouldn't have gone out alone at dusk," said Dr. Smith gently.

  " One of us would have gone with you!" Luke reproved me.

  " I know," I said and smiled with relief because I was so happy to be back. I turned to Simon Redvers. " Thank you, Mr. Redvers," I went on.

  He bowed ironically. " Such a pleasure," he murmured.

  " Has Friday come home?" I asked Gabriel.

  He shook his head.

  " He'll turn up to-morrow," Luke put in.

  " I do hope so," I answered.

  Gabriel put his arm through mine. " There's nothing else we can do to-night. And you look exhausted. Come along in."

  They all seemed to be watching us. I turned and said;

  "Good night."

  There was an echoing answer as Gabriel drew me into the house.

  " I've never seen you look so white and tired," he told me.

  I thought I should never get back. "

  He laughed and put his arm about me. He said suddenly:

  " Wasn't that honeymoon of ours wonderful. But it was very short. We ought to have a longer one. I've often thought I'd like to go to Greece."

  " The Isles of Greece, the Isles of Greece 1 Where burning Sappho loved and sung," " I quoted, and my voice had a high pitch to it.

  Although I was worried about Friday, I was very relieved to be safe, which seemed unaccountably foolish.

  " I'm going to tell them to bring you some hot milk. It'll make you sleep." said Gabriel.

  " Gabriel. I can't stop wondering about Friday."

  " He'll turn up. You go to your room and I'll go to the kitchen to tell them to bring that milk."

  I went on up, thinking how gentle he was, how considerate to the servants. They had so many stairs in a house of this nature to contend with.

  When I reached our room, the first thing I noticed was Friday's empty basket and I felt very unhappy.

  I went into the corridor and called him once more. I tried to comfort myself that he was hunting rabbits. It was a favourite pastime of his and I had known him forget everything when pursuing it. It might be that in the morning he would come home.

  I did realise there was nothing more I could do that night, so I undressed and got into bed.

  So exhausted was I that I was almost asleep when Gabriel came in. He sat by the bed and talked about our trip to Greece he seemed really excited about it. But soon one of the servants came in with my milk on a tray.

  I did not really want it but I drank it off to please Gabriel, and in a few minutes I fell into a deep sleep.

  I was awakened by a banging on my door. Reluctantly I awoke; rarely had I slept so deeply. I sat up in bed to find Ruth standing in the room. Her eyes looked enormous, her face was the colour of white paper.

  "Catherine," she was saying.

  "Wake up! Wake up, please And I knew something terrible had happened.

  68 I looked for Gabriel but there was no sign of him.

  " It's Gabriel," said Ruth. " You must prepare yourself for a shock."

  " What ... has happened to Gabriel?" I asked as though [ found the greatest difficulty in getting out the words.

  " He is dead," she said. " He has killed himself."

  I did not believe her. I felt as though I was struggling out of a fantastic world of dreams.

  Gabriel . dead? It wasn't possible. Why, only a short while ago he had sat by my bed watching me drink my milk, talking of our trip to Greece.

  " You'll have to know," she said, looking at me steadily; and was it with a hint of accusation in her eyes? " He threw himself over the parapet of the balcony. One of the grooms has just found him."

  " It can't be true."

  " You'd better get dressed," she said.

  I stumbled out of bed; my limbs were trembling; one thought kept hammering in my brain. This is not true. Gabriel did not kill himself.

  Chapter 3

  So within a week of my coming to Kirkland Revels tragedy had struck the house.

  I do not clearly remember the sequence of events of that day, but I can recall the numbness which took possession of me, the certainty that something inevitable had taken place, something which had threatened me, warned me from the moment I entered the house.

  I remembered lying on my bed during that first morning. Ruth had insisted that I should, and it was at this time that [ learned what a forceful character she had. Dr. Smith came and gave me a sedative; he said it was necessary, and I slept until the afternoon.

  I joined them in the room which was known as the winter parlour . one of the smaller rooms on the
first floor which looked onto the courtyard and which was so-called because during the winter it could be kept warmer and more cosy than those rooms which were less sheltered. The entire family was there: Sir Matthew, Aunt Sarah, Ruth, Luke; and Simon 69 Redvers had joined them. I was conscious of the gaze of everyone as I entered.

  " Come here, my dear," said Sir Matthew. " This is a terrible shock to us and especially to you, my dear child."

  I Went to him because I trusted him more than any of the others; and when I sat down beside him. Aunt Sarah came over and, taking the chair on the other side of me, placed her hand over mine and kept it there.

  Luke had walked to the window. He was saying tactlessly:

  " It was exactly like the others. He must have remembered them. All the time we were talking of them, he must have been planning ..."

  I said sharply: " If you mean Gabriel committed suicide, I don't believe it. I don't believe it for a moment."

  "This is so terrible for you, my dear," murmured Sir Matthew.

  Aunt Sarah came a little closer and leaned against me There was a faint odour of decay about her .

  "What do you believe happened?" she asked; and her blue eyes were bright and eager with curiosity.

  I turned away from her. " I don't know," I cried, " I only know he didn't kill himself."

  "My dear Catherine," said Ruth sharply, "You're overwrought. We all have the utmost sympathy for you, but ... you knew him such a short time. He is one of us ... all his life he has belonged to us...."

  Her voice broke, but I did not believe she was sincerely sorry. And I thought: The house will pass to Luke now. Are you pleased about that, Ruth?

  " Last flight he talked about the holiday we should have," I insisted.

  " He talked of our going to Greece."

  "Perhaps he didn't want you to guess what he planned," suggested Luke.

  "

  " He couldn't deceive me. Why should he talk of going to Greece if he were planning to ... do that!"

  Simon spoke then. His voice sounded cold and seemed to came from a long distance. " We do not always say that which is in our minds."

  " But I knew ... I tell you, I knew ..."

  Sir Matthew had put a hand to his eyes and I heard him murmur: " My son, my only son."

  There was a knock on the door and William entered.

  He looked at Ruth and said: " Dr. Smith is here, madam."

  " Then bring him in," Ruth answered. 70 And in a few moments Dr.

  Smith came in. His eyes were sympathetic, and it was to my side that he came.

  " I cannot express my grief," he murmured. " And I am concerned for you."

  " Please don't be," I replied. " I have suffered a great shock ... but I shall be all right." I heard myself give a slightly hysterical laugh which horrified me.

  The doctor laid his hand on my shoulder.

  " I'm going to give you a sedative for to-night," he said. " You'll need it. Then when you wake up there'll be a night between you and all this. You'll be one step away from it."

  Aunt Sarah spoke suddenly in a high, rather querulous voice: " She doesn't believe he killed himself. Doctor."

  " No ... no ..." soothed the doctor. " It's hard to credit it. Poor Gabriel!"

  Poor Gabriel! It seemed like an echo in that room, and it came from more than one of those present.

  I found myself looking at Simon Redvers. " Poor Gabriel!" he said, and there was a cold glitter in his eyes as they met mine. I felt I wanted to shout at him: Are you suggesting that I had anything to do with this? Gabriel was happier with me than he had ever been in his life.

  He told me so repeatedly.

  But I said nothing.

  Dr. Smith said to me: " Have you been out to-day, Mrs. Rockwell?"

  I shook my head .

  " A little walk in the grounds would do you good. If you would allow me to accompany you, I should be glad."

  It was clear that he had something to say to me alone, and ( rose at once.

  " You should wear your cloak," Ruth put in. " There's a chill in the air today."

  A chill in the air, I thought; and a chill in my heart. What would happen next? My life seemed suspended between Glen House and Kirkland Revels and the future was like a thick fog all about me.

  Ruth had rung the bell and eventually a servant appeared with my cloak.

  Simon took it from the maid and wrapped it about me. I looked over my shoulder and tried to read what I saw in his eyes, but that was impossible.

  I was glad to escape from that room and be alone with the doctor.

  We did not speak until we had left the house and were 71 walking in the direction of the Abbey. It was difficult to believe that it was only the night before that I had lost my way.

  " My dear Mrs. Rockwell," said Dr. Smith, " I could see that you wished to get away from the house. That was one reason why I suggested this walk . You feel bewildered, do you not?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "But mere is one thing of which I am certain."

  " You think it impossible that Gabriel killed himself?"

  " Yes, I do."

  "Because you were happy together?"

  "We were happy together."

  " I think it may have been because Gabriel was happy with you that he found his life intolerable."

  "I do not understand you."

  " You know that his health was precarious."

  " He told me that before we married."

  " Ah, I thought perhaps he might have kept it from you. His heart was weak and he might have died at any moment. But you knew that."

  I nodded.

  " It's a family weakness. Poor Gabriel, it struck him young. I had a conversation with him only yesterday about ... his weakness. I am wondering now whether this had something to do with the tragedy. May I be frank with you? You are very young but you are a married woman, and I am afraid I must speak with candour."

  " Please do."

  " Thank you. I was struck from the first by your good sense and I rejoiced that Gabriel had chosen so wisely. Yesterday Gabriel came to me and asked me some questions about ... his married life."

  I felt a flush rise in my cheeks and said: "Pray tell me what you mean."

  " He asked me if the state of his heart made it dangerous for him to indulge in marital relations."

  " Oh!" My voice sounded faint and I could not bring myself to look at the doctor. We had reached the ruins and I stared up at the Norman tower. " And ... what was your answer?"

  "I told him that In my opinion he would take a considerable risk if such relations did occur." 72 " I see."

  He was trying to read my thoughts, but I would not look at him. What had happened between me and Gabriel should I decided, be our secret. I felt embarrassed to be involved in such a discussion and, although I reminded myself that this man was a doctor, the discomfort persisted.

  But I could see what he was driving at, and he had no need to explain; but he did.

  " He was a normal young man, apart from this weakness of the heart. He was proud. I realised when I warned him that I was giving him a shock but I did not understand then how deeply it had affected him."

  " And you think that this ... warning ... decided him?"

  " It seems to me a logical deduction. What ... is your opinion, Mrs.

  Rockwell? In the past, has there been between you . er. "

  I touched a fragment of broken wall, and my voice was as cold as the stones as I said: " I do not think that what you told my husband would have made him wish to end his life."

  The doctor seemed satisfied with that answer. He laughed lightly but without mirth. " I should not have liked to think that any words of mine ..."

  "You need have no qualms," I answered.

  "What you said to Gabriel was what any doctor would have said."

  " I believe it may have been a reason ..."

  "Do you mind if we turn back?" I asked.

  "It seems to have grown colder."

  "Forg
ive me. I should not have brought you out. You feel cold because of the shock you have suffered. I'm afraid I've behaved brutally to you, discussing this ... indelicate matter ... just when ..."