War on Whimsy

  "How could all of them be sick at the same time?" said Shimlara quietly.

  "It does seem a little mysterious," admitted XYZ40. "But no planet would dare kidnap the aunts!"

  "So basically you are doing nothing about this war," said Sean.

  The king yawned. "I really do need my nap."

  The queen caressed her face. "My skin is just crying out for that facial!"

  Only Princess Petronella looked at all concerned.

  "We're not doing nothing," she said. "I'm going to make a diplomatic visit to Mrs. Mania's son and try to speak some sense into him. Even though he's a horrible toad of a boy and it will be very boring."

  "But what about Shimlara's family?" asked Nicola.

  "The Gorgioskios are fine citizens," said XYZ40. "It's true they can be a little, well, annoying, at times with all their 'causes' but we obviously want to help them. We considered sending in our own rescue team, but all our best agents are busy at the moment with a rather tricky problem we're currently experiencing on the Planet of Me--"

  She stopped and bit her lip.

  "Anyway, the point is, we felt there was another option."

  "That's where you come in," said Princess Petronella.

  The Space Brigade had all turned to stare at her.

  "We're going to smuggle you into Volcomania so you can go to Whimsy and rescue them!"

  CHAPTER 8

  "What do you mean by 'smuggle?' " asked Sean. He's probably hoping there would be some repelling involved, thought Nicola.

  "We're going to have to parachute you in," said XYZ40.

  Oh great. Sean grinned. Katie sighed.

  "Why?" said Nicola. She didn't think parachuting over live volcanos was the most sensible idea.

  "The Volcomanians are being very careful about who they let onto the planet at the moment," said XYZ40. "You would be recognized by the Secret Service.The Space Brigade is starting to build quite an intergalactic reputation . . ."

  "Really?" said Nicola.

  "Us?" said Tyler.

  "Are you sure?" said Katie.

  "Like, we're famous?" said Greta.

  "That's so cool," said Sean.

  "I mean, I knew word was getting around the galaxy," said Shimlara excitedly. "But I didn't think--"

  "Could we get back to the subject at hand?" said XYZ40 firmly.

  The Space Brigade snapped back to attention.

  "As a royal visitor, Princess Petronella won't be under much scrutiny," said XYZ40. "So we should be able to parachute you out of the royal spaceship quite easily. You'll be met by one of our secret agents on Volcomania. His code name is JJ-11. He'll identify himself with the phrase, 'Lovely day for a stroll.' You must respond, 'I do enjoy a piece of rhubarb pie.' He'll arrange a transport and secret undercover identities for you."

  "Okay," said Nicola. "And what happens after that?"

  "I assume with your experience, you'll have no problem scuba diving through the Underground Sea to Whimsy and then tracking down the prisoners? Of course, Whimsy is a war zone so you'll have to be careful, but you've probably been through many a war zone in your time, right?"

  XYZ40 looked at Nicola.

  "No problem at all," croaked Nicola. Shouldn't war zones be avoided?

  The king and queen were fidgeting in their thrones.

  "You don't need us for all the details, do you?" said the king.

  The queen stood up. "I'm afraid I really need to go for my facial," she said. "I owe it to my subjects to keep my skin flawless." She gave Princess Petronella a kiss on the cheek. "Darling, have a wonderful time in Volcomania!"

  "Mom!" said Princess Petronella. "I'm doing this to try and help stop the war. It won't be fun. I can't stand Mrs. Mania's son!"

  "Oh, now, you make sure you play nicely with the little fellow," said the king, ruffling Princess Petronella's hair.

  "Dad!" The Princess readjusted her tiara. "I'm not going on a playdate. I'm going on a diplomatic mission."

  "Of course you are, sweetie," said the king. He stood up and yawned. "I'm off for my nap." Then he and the queen swept out of the room. A moment later, the queen popped her head back through the door and trilled, "I nearly forgot! Good luck, Space Brigade! I do hope none of you die!"

  She vanished.

  Princess Petronella's face was bright red. "They are just . . . impossible!"

  XYZ40 spent the next few hours giving the Space Brigade detailed instructions about meeting places, geography, history, secret agents, and code words, by the end of which Nicola felt like she'd spent two weeks stuck in a classroom.

  Finally she consulted her clipboard. "I think that's everything. I'll just give you your kits."

  She handed each member of the Space Brigade a satchel.

  "It contains your parachute, lava goggles, extra tubes of lava screen, two-way radios, binoculars--that sort of thing," said XYZ40.

  "Where's my satchel?" said the princess.

  "But your highness, you won't be parachuting," said XYZ40. "You'll be--"

  "Playing nicely with the toad," finished the princess sulkily.

  "Your highness, let me assure you that your role is absolutely crucial," said XYZ40. "For one thing, we wouldn't be able to smuggle in the Space Brigade if we didn't have the excuse of the royal visit, and for another, you may actually have some luck convincing the toad, I mean, Mrs. Mania's son, to influence his mother."

  "Don't worry about it," said the princess. "I'm used to a life without fun or interest."

  "Thank you for your help, Princess Petronella," said Shimlara humbly. "This is very nice of you. You're a great friend."

  "It sure is nice of you," agreed Nicola. Actually, now that she thought about it, it was a bit odd that the princess was being so generous with her time.

  The princess beamed. "I am an incredibly nice friend, aren't I? And I'm also giving up important study time with a new tutor. He's a galaxy-famous mathematics genius and he was going to give me a weeklong workshop on 'The Fine Art of Multiplication.' Unfortunately I'm going to have to miss it now! And he's not available for another five years!"

  Aha. So, it wasn't just helping out Shimlara's parents that was motivating the princess! She was getting out of studying math! That made more sense. The Space Brigade smiled at one another, while the princess pondered, "Perhaps I should write a book one day--The Seven Secrets of Friendship."

  There was a crackling sound and XYZ40 turned away from them, pressed a hand to her ear, and listened carefully. She was obviously wearing some sort of two-way radio earpiece.

  "Roger that," she said crisply.

  She dropped her hand. "The Royal Spaceship is ready."

  It was early evening and Nicola had her face pressed to the Royal Spaceship window, ready for her first glimpse of the Planet of Volcomania.

  It was amazing to Nicola that this spaceship was even airborne. It was a small city! It had its own bowling alley, movie theater, and a giant swimming pool the size of a football stadium.

  Instead of the cramped pods on Tyler's Mini Easy-Ride Spaceship, passengers reclined on full-length velvet sofas. Staff was available to rub your feet, but Princess Petronella was the only one taking advantage of this service. The others were all too nervous about what lay ahead of them.

  They had all slathered themselves, their hair, and their clothes in lava screen and strapped their parachutes to their backs. Fortunately, the parachutes seemed quite simple to operate, with a PULL HERE! tag on the rip cord. Nicola's hand hovered near it.

  "Just don't pull it until you've jumped," said Tyler, from the sofa next to Nicola.

  Nicola moved her hand away. "Of course not."

  "I see the volcanoes!" said Sean.

  Nicola looked out and saw explosions of fiery red on the planet below. She could also see the tiny Planet of Whimsy with its halo of pink dust attached to Volcomania by the long tube that Nicola knew was an Underground Sea. She shivered as she imagined scuba diving through it. She liked swimming but she didn't particularly l
ike diving underwater for too long. Of course, it wasn't like she'd have to hold her breath the whole time, but still.

  As the spaceship got closer to Volcomania, they got a clearer view of the volcanoes and the red molten lava exploding from each one, like rows of bubbling cooking pots. Nicola imagined how just one drop would sear her skin. She took out her lava screen and began to reapply a fresh new layer. She saw the rest of the Space Brigade doing the same.

  "A little harder, please," said the princess sleepily, to the poor servant who was rubbing her feet. Apparently, the president's family lived in a specially constructed Lava Protection Bubble so she didn't have to worry about applying lava cream.

  "Can the Space Brigade please assemble at Exit Door Five Hundred and prepare for drop-off," said a polite voice over a loudspeaker.

  Nicola's heart jumped like a crazy gymnast. She packed her lava screen into her satchel and stood up, wondering if her own face looked as terrified as the others. They were all adjusting their parachutes with trembling fingers.

  "Shouldn't we have had some training before suddenly jumping out of a spaceship wearing a parachute?" said Greta to Nicola, as if Nicola had any control over the situation.

  "Parachuting is easy!" Princess Petronella sat up so abruptly her foot-rubbing servant toppled backward onto the floor. "I once spent a delightful week parachuting on the Planet of Bliss."

  "Did you have any training?" asked Katie, helping the servant back to her feet.

  "Of course! I spent a month working with my own personal parachute trainer," said the princess. "He had me land on a specially built soft surface until I got my technique right. He said I would have broken my legs otherwise." She laughed merrily. "Ah, good times."

  The Space Brigade looked at her with stony faces.

  "Oh," said the princess. "Well, I'm sure you'll all be fine. Just remember to bend your legs when you land."

  "Space Brigade report to Exit Door Five Hundred right NOW!" said a rather less polite voice over the loudspeaker.

  "Have fun," said the princess, lying back down and presenting her feet to the servant. "Please don't worry about me, stuck with the boring toad. I'll manage. Royals are used to making sacrifices."

  "Is she for real?" said Sean, as the Space Brigade ran down the corridor along the side of the spaceship.

  Nicola was busy looking at the numbers on the exit doors. "Oh, no--that's only Exit Door Twenty! We're so far away!"

  They all picked up the pace, their parachutes bouncing on their backs.

  "Are you all deaf? Space Brigade to Exit Door Five Hundred!" said the loudspeaker voice.

  "We're coming!" called Nicola.

  The corridor seemed endless. It was like something out of a nightmare. By the time they got to Exit Door Five Hundred, they'd all be so exhausted they'd just fall out.

  With her longer legs, Shimlara was the fastest. She ran ahead of them, calling out the numbers on the doors.

  Finally, she shouted triumphantly, "Exit Door Five Hundred!"

  The rest of the Space Brigade ran up behind her, their faces red and sweaty, their chests heaving.

  Exit Door Five Hundred was wide open and the heat and noise from the erupting volcanoes below struck them like a brutal slap across the face.

  Nicola peered out at the fiery landscape below.

  I can't, she thought. I cannot jump out of this spaceship. She could feel her own resistance as massive and immovable as a wall of concrete in front of her.

  "I can't do it," said Katie to Nicola in a quiet, terrified voice.

  "Space Brigade! You are required to jump on the count of three," said the voice over the loudspeaker. (Nicola was starting to hate that voice.)

  "One . . ." boomed the voice.

  Shimlara was clinging to the side of the Exit Door.

  "We have to do it," she said, except you could tell she was facing the same concrete wall of resistance as Nicola.

  "Yes," said Sean unconvincingly.

  Nicola darted a look at her brother. His face was white. He was the one who loved doing this sort of crazy stuff! If Sean was scared, what hope did the rest of them have?

  "We need training," insisted Greta.

  "Maybe there is another way we could get to Volcomania," said Tyler.

  "Two . . ." said the voice.

  Nicola's mind was filled with images.

  She saw Georgio performing his celebratory chicken dance the first day she'd ever met him when he'd turned up in her classroom and picked her as the Earthling Ambassador.

  She saw Mully bending down to put her hand on Nicola's shoulder and saying, "I have complete confidence in you."

  She saw Squid, dragging his blue blanket along behind him, his thumb jammed in his mouth.

  If it wasn't for Georgio and Mully, Earth would no longer exist. Nicola's planet would be a garbage dump. They had to help the Gorgioskios.

  "Three!" shouted the voice over the loudspeaker.

  When you're frightened of something, Nicola's mother had once said to her, there's only one way to make the fear go away--and that's to do the thing that's frightening you. You just have to ignore the fear and DO IT, the faster the better!

  Nicola looked at the others, their faces illuminated by the fiery light of the exploding volcanoes.

  She pulled her lava goggles over her eyes.

  If she didn't jump, the others never would.

  She didn't let her mind think anymore.

  She just jumped.

  CHAPTER 9

  F . . . r . . . i . . . z . . . z . . . l . . . e ! That was the word like a long, silent scream in Nicola's mind as she plummeted through the night sky toward the volcanoes below, hot air blasting her face, a roaring sound in her ears. She wasn't floating on her stomach in a neat star shape like the parachutists she'd seen on television. She was flailing about, her hands clawing at the air, as if she could hold on to something, or somehow climb back onto the spaceship.

  Rip cord.

  She needed to pull her rip cord.

  She grabbed at her shoulder and felt nothing. Panic exploded in her chest. She felt again, and there it was. She pulled.

  There was an enormous tugging sensation, as if a giant had grabbed her by the shoulders and wrenched her upright.

  The roaring sound stopped abruptly like a switch had been turned off. She looked up. Her parachute was purple silk, rippling silently above her. She was safe. Her dress fluttered around her legs. Mmmm, her dress and parachute matched quite well. What a strange sight she must have made, parachuting above volcanoes in the middle of the night dressed for a birthday party.

  Nicola could see Sean, Shimlara, and Tyler, not far behind her. Their parachutes had all opened and they were all smiling with the same blissful relief that Nicola felt.

  Katie and Greta had only just jumped. The Royal Spaceship was flying off into the distance behind them.

  To Nicola's chagrin, she saw that Greta looked like an absolute skydiving professional. She was floating in a star shape and, as Nicola watched, she calmly reached for her rip cord and her parachute opened.

  Katie, on the other hand, looked much like Nicola had probably looked. She was tumbling crazily through the air, arms and legs in every direction.

  Okay, pull your rip cord now,thought Nicola.

  Katie kept falling.

  Nicola could hear a faint, eerie sound that she thought might have been Katie's scream.

  Pull your rip cord. Katie, please, please pull your rip cord.

  Katie continued to fall like someone pushed from the side of the cliff. She flew past Nicola. Nicola saw only a flash of gaping mouth and bulging eyes.

  "Katie, pull your rip cord, you silly, silly . . . !" screamed Nicola and she'd never heard her own voice sound like that: violent with terror.

  She could hear the rest of the Space Brigade screaming at Katie, too, and just when she thought she was about to see her best friend die right in front of her, Katie's parachute burst open like a blossoming flower. It was quite possi
bly the most beautiful thing Nicola had ever seen.

  Nicola's eyes filled with tears. She was going to be very angry with Katie when they landed.

  Landing. Right. That was the next thing to accomplish.

  XYZ40 had told them that the Royal Spaceship would drop them as close as possible to a red hut with 3A on the roof that would be easy to spot from the air.

  "The Volcomanians color-code everything," she'd said. "It makes it quite convenient to get around. Of course, you'll find it's quite a different story when you get to the Planet of Whimsy."

  Nicola looked down beneath her. It didn't matter that it was the middle of the night because the constant explosions from the volcanoes lit up the landscape like daylight. Everywhere she looked she could see erupting volcanoes.

  It was quite beautiful in a frightening sort of way.

  Goodness! Was that a city perched on the side of that volcano? Nicola tried to imagine living her daily life on the side of an active volcano.

  She suddenly remembered her teacher, Mrs. Zucchini, telling them about an ancient city in Italy that had been buried under ash after a volcano erupted. The city was called Pompeii, and when Mount Vesuvius erupted, the ash preserved everything--even the bodies. The city was frozen forever like a time capsule. Apparently you could still see the terrified expressions on some of the dead victims' faces.

  Why wasn't the entire planet of Volcomania buried in ash? Nicola wished she'd remembered Pompeii when XYZ40 was briefing them. She could have asked her.

  As her parachute sank lower, she could feel the heat radiating from the volcanoes like a million summer days. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead.

  Was the lava screen waterproof? What if she sweated it all away? What if her skin became as red and scaly as a Volcomanian? What if . . .

  "I can see the hut!"

  It was Katie's voice.

  Oh! Nicola had forgotten all about the hut. She'd just been letting her parachute and mind drift.

  Nicola looked down and saw a small, squat, red hut with 3A clearly marked on the top.

  She reached for the toggles that Tyler had told them would steer the parachute. ("How do you know this?" Greta had asked. "I don't know," Tyler had answered. "I just do.")

  Nicola pulled the left toggle and the parachute gently floated down to the left. She pulled right and it floated down to the right. It was quite fun. Maybe she'd take up parachuting as a hobby when she got back to Earth.

  She zigzagged through the air toward the hut and saw with horror that it seemed to be right next to the crater of a permanently erupting volcano. It was like a pot of milk boiling over on the stove. Except it wasn't milk--it was lava.