They Do It With Mirrors / the Unexpected Guest

  'Then how do you know that what Nurse what's-her-name said mightn't have been the truth?'

  'Oh, the whole thing was very freely discussed by Richard,' she said bitterly. 'After they came back from the inquest, I remember very clearly. He said, "Bravo, Warby, jolly good show. You've probably got me off quite a stiff jail sentence." And she said, "You don't deserve to have got off, Mr Warwick.

  You know you were driving much too fast. It's a shame about that poor child." And then Richard said, "Oh, forget it! I've made it worth your while. Anyway, what's one brat more or less in this overcrowded world? He's just as well out of it all. It's not going to spoil my sleep, I assure you."'

  Starkwedder rose from the stool and, glancing over his shoulder at Richard Warwick's body, said grimly, 'The more I hear about your husband, the more I'm willing to believe that what happened tonight was justifiable homicide rather than murder.' Approaching Laura, he continued, 'Now then. This man whose child was run over. The boy's father. What's his name?'

  'A Scottish name, I think,' Laura replied. 'Mac - Mac something - MacLeod? MacCrae? - I can't remember.'

  'But you've got to try to remember,' Starkwedder insisted. 'Come on, you must. Is he still living in Norfolk?'

  'No, no,' said Laura. 'He was only over here for a visit. To his wife's relations, I think. I seem to remember he came from Canada.'

  'Canada - that's a nice long way away,' Starkwedder observed. 'It would take time to chase up. Yes,' he continued, moving to behind the sofa, 'yes, I think there are possibilities there. But for God's sake try to remember the man's name.' He went across to his overcoat on the armchair in the recess, took his gloves from a pocket, and put them on. Then, looking searchingly around the room, he asked, 'Got any newspapers about?'

  'Newspapers?' Laura asked, surprised.

  'Not today's,' he explained. 'Yesterday's or the day before would do better.'

  Rising from the sofa, Laura went to a cupboard behind the armchair. 'There are some old ones in the cupboard here. We keep them for lighting fires,' she told him.

  Starkwedder joined her, opened the cupboard door, and took out a newspaper. After checking the date, he announced, 'This is fine. Just what we want.' He closed the cupboard door, took the newspaper to the desk, and from a pigeon-hole on the desk extracted a pair of scissors.

  'What are you going to do?' asked Laura.

  'We're going to manufacture some evidence.' He clicked the scissors as though to demonstrate.

  Laura stared at him, perplexed. 'But suppose the police succeed in finding this man,' she asked. 'What happens then?'

  Starkwedder beamed at her. 'If he still lives in Canada, it'll take a bit of doing,' he announced with an air of smugness. 'And by the time they do find him, he'll no doubt have an alibi for tonight. Being a few thousand miles away ought to be satisfactory enough. And by then it will be a bit late for them to check up on things here. Anyway, it's the best we can do. It'll give us breathing space at all events.'

  Laura looked worried. 'I don't like it,' she complained.

  Starkwedder gave her a somewhat exasperated look. 'My dear girl,' he admonished her, 'you can't afford to be choosy. But you must try to remember that man's name.'

  'I can't, I tell you, I can't,' Laura insisted.

  'Was it MacDougall, perhaps? Or Mackintosh?' he suggested helpfully.

  Laura took a few steps away from him, putting her hands to her ears. 'Do stop,' she cried. 'You're only making it worse. I'm not sure now that it was Mac anything.'

  'Well, if you can't remember, you can't,' Starkwedder conceded. 'We shall have to manage without. You don't remember the date, by any chance, or anything useful like that?'

  'Oh, I can tell you the date, all right,' said Laura. 'It was May the fifteenth.'

  Surprised, Starkwedder asked, 'Now, how on earth can you remember that?'

  There was bitterness in Laura's voice as she replied, 'Because it happened on my birthday.'

  'Ah, I see - yes - well, that solves one little problem,' observed Starkwedder. 'And we've also got one little piece of luck. This paper is dated the fifteenth.' He cut the date out carefully from the newspaper.

  Joining him at the desk and looking over his shoulder, Laura pointed out that the date on the newspaper was November the fifteenth, not May. 'Yes,' he admitted, 'but it's the numbers that are the more awkward. Now, May. May's a short word - ah, yes, here's an M. Now an A, and a Y.'

  'What in heaven's name are you doing?' Laura asked.

  Starkwedder's only response, as he seated himself in the desk chair, was, 'Got any paste?'

  Laura was about to take a pot of paste from a pigeon-hole, but he stopped her. 'No, don't touch,' he instructed. 'We don't want your fingerprints on it.' He took the pot of paste in his gloved hands, and removed the lid. 'How to be a criminal in one easy lesson,' he continued. 'And, yes, here's a plain block of writing paper - the kind sold all over the British Isles.' Taking a notepad from the pigeon-hole, he proceeded to paste words and letters onto a sheet of notepaper. 'Now, watch this, one - two - three - a bit tricky with gloves. But there we are. "May fifteen. Paid in full." Oh, the "in" has come off.' He pasted it back on again. 'There, now. How do you like that?'

  He tore the sheet off the pad and showed it to her, then went across to Richard Warwick's body in its wheelchair. 'We'll tuck it neatly into his jacket pocket, like that.' As he did so, he dislodged a pocket lighter, which fell to the floor. 'Hello, what's this?'

  Laura gave a sharp exclamation and tried to snatch the lighter up, but Starkwedder had already done so, and was examining it. 'Give it to me,' cried Laura breathlessly. 'Give it to me!'

  Looking faintly surprised, Starkwedder handed it to her. 'It's - it's my lighter,' she explained, unnecessarily.

  'All right, so it's your lighter,' he agreed. 'That's nothing to get upset about.' He looked at her curiously. 'You're not losing your nerve, are you?'

  She walked away from him to the sofa. As she did so, she rubbed the lighter on her skirt as though to remove possible fingerprints, taking care to ensure that Starkwedder did not observe her doing so. 'No, of course I'm not losing my nerve,' she assured him.

  Having made certain that the pasted-up message from the newspaper in Richard Warwick's breast pocket was tucked securely under the lapel, Starkwedder went over to the desk, replaced the lid of the paste-pot, removed his gloves, took out a handkerchief, and looked at Laura. 'There we are!' he announced. 'AH ready for the next step. Where's that glass you were drinking out of just now?'

  Laura retrieved the glass from the table where she had deposited it. Leaving her lighter on the table, she returned with the glass to Starkwedder. He took it from her, and was about to wipe off her fingerprints, but then stopped. 'No,' he murmured. 'No, that would be stupid.'

  'Why?' asked Laura.

  'Well, there ought to be fingerprints,' he explained, 'both on the glass and on the decanter. This valet fellow's, for one, and probably your husband's as well. No fingerprints at all would look very fishy to the police.' He took a sip from the glass he was holding. 'Now I must think of a way to explain mine,' he added. 'Crime isn't easy, is it?'

  With sudden passion, Laura exclaimed, 'Oh, don't! Don't get mixed up in this. They might suspect you.'

  Amused, Starkwedder replied, 'Oh, I'm a very respectable chap -. quite above suspicion. But, in a sense I am mixed up in it already. After all, my car's out there, stuck fast in the ditch. But don't worry, just a spot of perjury and a little tinkering with the time element - that's the worst they'd be able to bring against me. And they won't, if you play your part properly.'

  Frightened, Laura sat on the footstool, with her back to him. He came round to face her. 'Now then,' he said, 'are you ready?'

  'Ready - for what?' asked Laura.

  'Come on, you must pull yourself together,' he urged her.

  Sounding dazed, she murmured, 'I feel - stupid - I - I can't think.'

  'You don't have to think,' Starkwedder told her. 'You'v
e just got to obey orders. Now then, here's the blueprint. First, have you got a furnace of any kind in the house?'

  'A furnace?' Laura thought, and then replied, 'Well, there's the water boiler.'

  'Good.' He went to the desk, took the newspaper, and rolled up the scraps of paper in it. Returning to Laura, he handed her the bundle. 'Now then,' he instructed her, 'the first thing you do is to go into the kitchen and put this in the boiler. Then you go upstairs, get out of your clothes and into a dressing-gown - or negligee, or what-have-you.' He paused. 'Have you got any aspirin?'

  Puzzled, Laura replied, 'Yes.'

  As though thinking and planning as he spoke, Starkwedder continued, 'Well - empty the bottle down the loo. Then go along to someone – your mother-in-law, or Miss - what is it - Bennett? - and say you've got a headache and want some aspirin. Then, while you're with whoever it is - leave the door open, by the way - you'll hear the shot.'

  'What shot?' asked Laura, staring at him.

  Without replying, Starkwedder crossed to the table by the wheelchair and picked up the gun. 'Yes, yes,' he murmured absently, 'I'll attend to that.' He examined the gun. 'Hm. Looks foreign to me - war souvenir, is it?'

  Laura rose from the stool. 'I don't know,' she told him. 'Richard had several foreign makes of pistol.'

  'I wonder if it's registered,' Starkwedder said, almost to himself, still holding the gun.

  Laura sat on the sofa. 'Richard had a licence - if that's what you call it - a permit for his collection,' she said.

  'Yes, I suppose he would have. But that doesn't mean that they would all be registered in his name. In practice, people are often rather careless about that kind of thing. Is there anyone who'd be likely to know definitely?'

  'Angell might,' said Laura. 'Does it matter?'

  Starkwedder moved about the room as he replied. 'Well, the way we're building this up, old MacThing - the father of the child Richard ran over - is more likely to come bursting in, breathing blood and thunder and revenge, with his own weapon at the ready. But one could, after all, make out quite a plausible case the other way. This man - whoever he is - bursts in. Richard, only half awake, snatches up his gun. The other fellow wrenches it away from him, and shoots. I admit it sounds a bit far-fetched, but it'll have to do. We've got to take some risks, it just can't be avoided.'

  He placed the gun on the table by the wheelchair, and approached her. 'Now then,' he continued, 'have we thought of everything? I hope so. The fact that he was shot a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes earlier won't be apparent by the time the police get here. Driving along these roads in this fog won't be easy for them.' He went over to the curtain by the french windows, lifted it, and looked at the bullet holes in the wall. '"R.W". Very nice. I'll try to add a full stop.'

  Replacing the curtain, he came back to her. 'When you hear the shot,' he instructed Laura, ' what you do is register alarm, and bring Miss Bennett - or anyone else you can collect - down here. Your story is that you don't know anything. You went to bed, you woke up with a violent headache, you went along to look for aspirin - and that's all you know. Understand?'

  Laura nodded.

  'Good,' said Starkwedder. 'All the rest you leave to me. Are you feeling all right now?'

  'Yes, I think so,' Laura whispered.

  'Then go along and do your stuff,' he ordered her.

  Laura hesitated. 'You - you oughtn't to do this,' she urged him again. 'You oughtn't. You shouldn't get involved.'

  'Now, don't let's have any more of that,' Starkwedder insisted. 'Everyone has their own form of - what did we call it just now? - fun and games. You had your fun and games shooting your husband. I'm having my fun and games now. Let's just say I've always had a secret longing to see how I could get on with a detective story in real life.' He gave her a quick, reassuring smile. 'Now, can you do what I've told you?'

  Laura nodded. 'Yes.'

  'Right. Oh, I see you've got a watch. Good. What time do you make it?'

  Laura showed him her wristwatch, and he set his accordingly. 'Just after ten minutes to,' he observed. 'I'll allow you three - no, four - minutes. Four minutes to go along to the kitchen, pop that paper in the boiler, go upstairs, get out of your things and into a dressing-gown, and along to Miss Bennett or whoever. Do you think you can do that, Laura?' He smiled at her reassuringly.

  Laura nodded.

  'Now then,' he continued, 'at five minutes to midnight exactly, you'll hear the shot. Off you go.'

  Moving to the door, she turned and looked at him, uncertain of herself. Starkwedder went across to open the door for her. 'You're not going to let me down, are you?' he asked.

  'No,' replied Laura faintly.

  'Good.'

  Laura was about to leave the room when Starkwedder noticed her jacket lying on the arm of the sofa. Calling her back, he gave it to her, smiling. She went out, and he closed the door behind her.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  After closing the door behind Laura, Starkwedder paused, working out in his mind what was to be done. After a moment, he glanced at his watch, then took out a cigarette. He moved to the table by the armchair and was about to pick up the lighter when he noticed a photograph of Laura on one of the bookshelves. He picked it up, looked at it, smiled, replaced it, and lit a cigarette, leaving the lighter on the table. Taking out his handkerchief, he rubbed any fingerprints off the arms of the armchair and the photograph, and then pushed the chair back to its original position. He took Laura's cigarette from the ashtray, then went to the table by the wheelchair and took his own stub from the ashtray. Crossing to the desk, he next rubbed any fingerprints from it, replaced the scissors and notepad, and adjusted the blotter. He looked around him on the floor for any scrap of paper that might have been missed, found one near the desk, screwed it up and put it in his trousers pocket. He rubbed fingerprints off the light switch by the door and off the desk chair, picked up his torch from the desk, went over to the french windows, drew the curtain back slightly, and shone the torch through the window onto the path outside.

  'Too hard for footprints,' he murmured to himself. He put the torch on the table by the wheelchair and picked up the gun. Making sure that it was sufficiently loaded, he polished it for fingerprints, then went to the stool and put the gun down on it. After glancing again at his watch, he went to the armchair in the recess and put on his hat, scarf and gloves. With his overcoat on his arm, he crossed to the door. He was about to switch off the lights when he remembered to remove the fingerprints from the door-plate and handle. He then switched off the lights, and came back tp the stool, putting his coat on. He picked up the gun, and was about to fire it at the initials on the wall when he realized that they were hidden by the curtain.

  'Damn! V he muttered. Quickly taking the desk chair, he used it to hold the curtain back. He returned to his position by the stool, fired the gun, and then quickly went back to the wall to examine the result. 'Not bad!' he congratulated himself.

  As he replaced the desk chair in its proper position, Starkwedder could hear voices in the hall. He rushed off through the french windows, taking the gun with him. A moment later he reappeared, snatched up the torch, and dashed out again.

  From various parts of the house, four people hurried towards the study. Richard Warwick's mother, a tall, commanding old lady, was in her dressing-gown. She looked pallid and walked with the aid of a stick. 'What is it, Jan?' she asked the teenage boy in pyjamas with the strange, rather innocent, faun-like face, who was close behind her on the landing. 'Why is everybody wandering about in the middle of the night?' she exclaimed as they were joined by a grey-haired, middle-aged woman, wearing a sensible flannel dressing-gown. 'Benny,' she ordered the woman, 'tell me what's going on.'

  Laura was close behind, and Mrs Warwick continued, 'Have you all taken leave of your senses? Laura, what's happened? Jan - Jan - will someone tell me what is going on in this house?'

  'I'll bet it's Richard,' said the boy, who looked about nineteen, though his voice and manner wer
e those of a younger child. 'He's shooting at the fog again.' There was a note of petulance in his voice as he added, 'Tell him he's not to shoot and wake us all up out of our beauty sleep. I was deep asleep, and so was Benny. Weren't you, Benny? Be careful, Laura, Richard's dangerous. He's dangerous, Benny, be careful.'

  'There's thick fog outside,' said Laura, looking through the landing window. 'You can barely make out the path. I can't imagine what he can be shooting at in this mist. It's absurd. Besides, I thought I heard a cry.'

  Miss Bennett - Benny - an alert, brisk woman who looked like the ex-hospital nurse that she was, spoke somewhat officiously. 'I really can't see why you're so upset, Laura. It's just Richard amusing himself as usual. But I didn't hear any shooting. I'm sure there's nothing wrong. I think you're imagining things. But he's certainly very selfish and I shall tell him so. Richard,' she called as she entered the study, 'really, Richard, it's too bad at this time of night. You frightened us - Richard!'