Flat-Out Love

  “Did you think she was going to go to law school or something, the way you did?”

  “She could have. She certainly had the intellect. It just wasn’t what she wanted. Kate wasn’t interested in graduate school or a more prominent career. She wanted your father, and she wanted the life she got.” Erin paused. “Until… I’m sorry. That was thoughtless.”

  “It’s OK. The divorce is the divorce. It happens all the time, so it’s not a big deal.”

  “They separated when you were about four or five, is that right?”

  Julie nodded.

  “Do you see him much?”

  “Once or twice a year. After the divorce his career really took off, and he just hasn’t been able to see me as much as he would like. He’s really busy with his job. He comes into town for business sometimes, so I have dinner with him when he can. It’s the nature of his work, I guess. I understand.”

  “He’s still with that fancy hotel chain?”

  Julie nodded. “Yup. He’s the regional vice president for the West Coast. And he’s taking me to California over winter break this year. My first Christmas without snow.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” Erin said. “I’m glad you’ll have some time with him.”

  “Yeah. I’m sure it will be great,” Julie said. She turned off the water. “I’m glad my mom called you.”

  “I’m glad Kate called me, too.”

  “I hope you know that I’ve been doing everything I can to find an apartment. I don’t want you to think you’ll have to put me up permanently.”

  “Well, why not?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Erin shrugged and refilled her wine glass. “Why don’t you stay? Free room and board. That’s a pretty good deal, don’t you think? You shouldn’t have to worry about rent and bills, and all that nonsense when you should be focusing on school.”

  “I couldn’t let you put me up all year. That doesn’t seem right.”

  “If you have morning classes, then you could take care of Celeste in the afternoons. How about that? She enjoys you. I noticed her hair looked different tonight. Did you do something to it?”

  “Oh, yeah,” Julie said distractedly. “I did a quick French braid for her. She seemed to like it. So, seriously? You would really be OK with me staying here?”

  “Absolutely. What’s the big deal? Although I understand that you might prefer to live with friends and experience a more traditional undergraduate social life. You’re an adult now, so you should certainly set your own schedule here. I have no interest in monitoring your every move. You’re obviously smart and responsible.”

  Julie thought for a quick moment. Why not? She’d save her mom a ton of money, and if she found a good deal on an apartment in a few months, she could always move out then. “I’d love to stay, Erin. Really. That’s incredibly generous of you. I assume you need to talk to Roger about this, though, and I understand if he doesn’t want an unexpected boarder.”

  Erin waved her hand dismissively. “He won’t mind in the least. Besides, he’s going off on his trip soon, and we could use an extra hand. And this way Matthew can really apply himself to his studies.”

  Julie smiled. “OK, then. This sounds great. I like Celeste. A lot.”

  “Good. Not everyone is respectful of her choices,” Erin said pointedly. “You are. Then it’s settled.” She raised her glass in a toast. “Welcome home.”

  “You’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much,” Julie said happily. “I’ll go grab the rest of the things from the dinner table.”

  She started collecting the salt and pepper shakers and the placemats. God, what a relief! This was actually much better than being in a cramped apartment with a bunch of other girls. She’d still be on campus enough to make friends, and now she didn’t have to stress out over money or even contemplate going to her father for help. Not that he’d offered, but she knew he would come through if she asked. Of course he would.

  Even with four people in the Watkins’ house, it seemed like a wonderfully quiet place to get work done, so she wouldn’t have to yell at roommates to turn down music at three in the morning or put a pillow over her head to block out the all-night rager in the building next door. It’s not what every eighteen-year-old would want, but it’s what Julie wanted.

  “I don’t know how to thank you.” Julie set the placemats and plates on the counter. “I hope Finn won’t mind my moving into his room. Will he be back soon? He didn’t say when I emailed him.”

  “You’ve been in touch with Finn?” Erin didn’t hide the surprise in her voice. “I didn’t know you two… I didn’t know. How… funny.”

  “Yeah. Just a quick message to introduce myself. I guess I felt strange about staying in his room without his knowing.”

  “The room is all yours.” Erin smiled. “Now go run upstairs and unpack. We can’t have you living out of suitcases, can we?”

  “OK. Thank you so much for letting me stay.” Julie headed up the stairs to settle in. No more worrying, no more looking at cockroach-infested slum apartments!

  Tonight, Flat Finn stood outside Celeste’s bedroom door, tirelessly guarding her while she finished her homework. “S’up, Flat Finn?” Julie leaned in and whispered to the cardboard head, “You and I will be spending more time together, so I expect continued model behavior. Deal? You’re thinking about it? I understand. Let me know. Excuse me while I go to your namesake’s room and unpack. We’ll talk later.”

  Julie went in to what was now her room and looked around. She could happily stay here. A large shelf that held travel guides, photo albums, a series of thick books on rocks and minerals, and a stack of old Time and Newsweek magazines still left plenty of room for her things. As a whole, the room was a little sparse in some places, which was good because she could easily fill up the empty space.

  She unzipped her suitcase and began putting away her now very wrinkled clothes and the few pairs of shoes she’d crammed into the bags. The dresser was empty except for two things: a frayed, navy blue T-shirt with the outline of a skydiver that read, Don’t forget to pull, and an old sweatshirt that read, Skydivers like to do it in groups. Clearly Julie had moved into the witty–shirt-family’s house.

  She pulled her laptop onto the bed and messaged Finn again through Facebook.

  Dear Finn-

  Hope you don’t mind if I hang in your room for a little longer. Your mom suggested I ditch the impossible idea of trying to find a Boston apt. and stay here. Mornings at college, afternoons with Celeste, and evenings defending your room against monsters.

  Being a girl and all, I’m resisting the urge to immediately paint your bedroom pink and plaster the wall with pictures of unicorns and rainbows. No promises on how long I can hold out.

  How is South Africa? Celeste is waiting for pictures… Hint, hint.

  -Julie

  She put on her robe, gathered what she needed to take into the shower, and went into the hall. As she passed Matthew’s room, she could hear soft conversation behind his closed door. He and Erin were talking, and even without being able about to make out any words, Julie could tell that the tone of their talk was less than jovial. In fact, they were having a muffled argument. She kept walking and shut the bathroom door.

  The hot shower felt wonderful, and she let the water steam up the room while she decompressed. It was a relief to be done worrying about unpleasant logistical issues. Hanging out with Celeste would be cool. OK, maybe cool wasn’t the right word. Unique, unusual, interesting, and challenging. All of Julie’s favorites. Plus, it was impossible not to wonder what Flat Finn was all about.

  When she got back to her bedroom, she threw on her usual bedtime outfit, a pair of lightweight pajama bottoms and a tank, and turned on the television. She found a good celebrity gossip show and left it on in the background while she sat in bed with her computer. A number of her friends had emailed her with stories about their first days at college, rumors about her ex-boyfriend, and early complaints about the miseries o
f campus dining. She wrote her friends back and then read a message from Finn.

  Julie-

  OMG, I love pink! And unicorns! And rainbows! Really. So awesome! I’ve always wanted one of those super cute posters of a kitten dangling from a tree limb that says “Hang in there!” Maybe you can find one? My room is gonna be, like, totally the best ever! Julie, you’re a peach! J

  South Africa is definitely fantastic. Rehabilitating elephants this week. Did you know elephant rehab is very similar to human rehab? Well, it is. Except that we don’t have hideous artwork hanging on the walls. But we do allow cell phones. Elephants get wicked pissed when they can’t call their loved ones or order out for pizza. Canoeing tomorrow and then sleeping in the bush under the stars.

  Good luck with the family. Here’s a free tip: Matt is a geek.

  Tell my girl that I’ll send pictures very soon. I’m not the tech nerd that my brother is, but I’ll do my best.

  -Finn

  For some reason, Julie found it reassuring that Finn was as quirky as the rest of the family.

  Finn-

  KNEW you’d like the new décor! Will search faithfully for coveted kitten poster.

  Thanks for the help with the monsters. Worked like a charm. No other tips needed just yet. Your family is very nice. Took Flat Finn grocery shopping, and although I suspect he considered stealing a can of artichoke hearts, he restrained himself. He did, however, eat a handful of trail mix from the bulk bins, but everyone does that.

  Yes, Matt is a bit geeky. He’s rather proud of that, huh? I should get another free tip since that one was a no-brainer. And will there be a fee for others? I’m on a student budget. I could probably do with a Celeste tip. I’m rather unclear on the Flat Finn situation.

  And I can’t resist asking: What’s up with your “Finn is God” Facebook name?

  -Julie

  Finn must still be online because he replied right away.

  Julie-

  No worries. House tips will come free of charge.

  “Finn Is God” is my attempt to start a new religion. I’m working on a merchandise line now, because all good religions come with fashionable accessories. And I wanna be rich.

  -Finn

  Finn-

  I’ll take a “Finn Is God” tote bag and a visor.

  -Julie

  Chapter 9

  Matthew Watkins “Sometimes it is useful to know how large your zero is.” –Author Unknown.

  Finn Is God In order for this status update to make any sense, I need you to assume I'm covered in some sort of spray-based cheese product.

  Julie Seagle thinks that Twitter is like Facebook’s slutty cousin. It does everything dumb and whore-ish you’re too responsible to do

  “What’s in this one?” Celeste asked.

  “I have no idea. Open it up.” Julie handed Celeste the scissors and let her cut the tape off the cardboard box. Her room had quickly turned into a disaster area now that the rest of her things had arrived. She had her puffy comforter on the bed and one box of clothes put away.

  Celeste opened the box flaps and peered in. “It appears that a beauty parlor has exploded in this box.”

  “Ooooh, nice!” Julie clapped her hands and turned up the music. “Now, if we can just find the box with the shirt I want to wear tonight, I’ll be set.”

  Dana had texted her earlier and demanded that Julie meet her at a dorm party that night. Jamie had promised he would come, too, and Dana was evidently unable to pick out an appropriate outfit without Julie’s divine fashion sense.

  “Celeste, will you pull out the black bag in there for me? Pick out a nail polish color.” Julie walked across the bed and hopped to the floor, narrowly missing crashing into Flat Finn, and grabbed more hangers from the closet.

  “You have too many colors in here to choose from,” Celeste said, as she pulled out nail polish bottles and set them in a row on the rug.

  Julie held up a pale blue silky top. “I’m wearing this tonight, so pick something that will look nice with it.” She wondered briefly if it would be rude not to invite Matt to come with her, but the thought of showing up at her first—or any— Whitney party with him was not at the top of her list.

  Celeste stared at the row of little bottles. “I’m not equipped to make this decision, Julie. I don’t want to choose the wrong one. Let me ask Flat Finn.”

  “No, I want you to pick it out. There is no wrong one, silly.” Julie took the deep purple and the bright red and held them up. “Seductive, vampire bad girl versus traditional, hot, all-around sexy gal. There are no losers in this color game. Unless you just buy some stupid color like metallic green. Never do that. So, let the nail polish speak to you. You try one.”

  Celeste nodded seriously and then examined a light pink bottle. “Whimsical, gentle, and tasteful. A classic?”

  “Brilliant! Now give me your toes.” Julie sat down in front of Celeste and began applying the polish.

  Celeste sat quietly, occasionally peeking at Flat Finn, who stood monitoring the pedicure. “It was her idea, not mine!” she quipped. “He is a bit unsettled by this. I’ve never had my nails painted.”

  Julie turned around and glared at Flat Finn. “Every girl has a right to painted nails, so you better get settled quick, Flatty.”

  Celeste giggled. “Oh, he didn’t like that name one bit.”

  “Tough. OK, give me your fingers now. Different color or the same?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Here, this one will be nice for you. It looks sort of orange in the bottle, but it’s a nice muted red when it’s on.”

  Celeste gave Julie her hand. “I trust you. Although Flat Finn has his doubts because he thinks the color resembles tangerines.”

  Julie grabbed a shirt from the nearest box and flung it at the figure, landing the shirt perfectly on the cardboard head. “There. Now grumpy boy doesn’t have to watch. This is girl stuff anyway.” Julie opened the bottle and started on Celeste’s fingers before she could protest. “So, it’s Saturday night. What are you doing?”

  “Flat Finn and I are going to read All Creatures Great and Small.”

  “Sounds like an outrageous evening. Hey, whose piano is that off the front hall? I haven’t heard anyone playing.” Julie looked at Celeste. “I mean, besides Flat Finn.”

  “Oh. The piano. I used to play. Not anymore.”

  “Got bored?”

  “Not bored so much as disenchanted. What is your party going to be like?”

  Julie shrugged. “Drunk boys, crying girls, loud music.” She smiled. “But it’ll be fun anyway.”

  Celeste’s eyes widened. “What are you plans for the drunk boys?”

  “I’m going to sit them down and give them a long lecture on the unappealing nature of overindulging in beer and Jell-O shots. Then, I’ll ground them and send them to bed. Alone.”

  “That is not what I meant. How will you protect yourself?”

  “I don’t need a plan. They’ll be harmless and mildly cute in a pathetically boozy way.”

  “What if one of them wants to be your boyfriend? What will you do then?”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, anyway.” Julie blew across Celeste’s nails. “Don’t touch anything for at least fifteen minutes.”

  “Why don’t you want a boyfriend?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I do. I’d just have to meet the right guy. Someone who isn’t ordinary. Someone who gets me. Someone I fit perfectly with. I want heat, chemistry, an undeniable connection. You know what I mean? I want it all. I’m done with ordinary and mediocre.”

  “You believe in true love,” Celeste stated.

  “Maybe. I don’t know yet.”

  “So you think that you’re going to find true love at this party tonight?”

  “Doubtful.”

  “Why are you going then?”

  “For fun. To meet people and make friends. To be eighteen and silly. To escape the existential dreariness of the r
eal world,” Julie added dramatically. She set her makeup in front of the floor-length mirror, knotted her hair on top of her head, and started putting on mascara. “Mostly to go flirt. I have to keep my skills honed because I might need them one day.”

  “I bet it’s easy for you,” Celeste said, as she examined her fingers and toes.

  “What? Flirting?”

  “Yes.”

  “Depends. There’s flirting,” Julie said, jokingly pushing her chest out, “and then there’s flirting.” She tapped the side of her temple. “It’s the second one that’s hard because you’re putting more of yourself out there.”

  Celeste moved to stand next to Julie and looked at herself in the mirror. She turned sideways and then forward again, holding her fingers splayed in front of her so she wouldn’t smudge her polish.

  “Here. Try this on.” Julie handed her a sheer lip gloss.

  Celeste took the gloss and examined it as if it were a specimen from the moon. “I really do not think that this is necessary. I do not think that Flat Finn will view this positively.”

  “It’s not necessary. But it’s what thirteen-year-old girls do. You’ve never worn makeup?”

  Celeste shook her head emphatically. “I cannot begin to imagine what Finn would think.”

  By the time Julie had turned thirteen, she’d already experimented with numerous disastrous shades of shadow, framed her eyes with crooked streaks of black liner, and infuriated her mother with her embarrassingly large collection of lipstick.

  “Here, I’ll do it for you.” Julie got up and put one hand under Celeste’s chin, steadying her face as she dabbed some sheen onto her lips. “A little lip-gloss on you won’t kill Finn. He’ll deal with it.”

  Celeste’s already pale skin became nearly translucent and her eyes glistened. Julie pulled back. “What’s wrong? What did I do?” Great. First Erin and now Celeste. Either this family was insane, or Julie was causing some sort of panic reaction in everyone she came in contact with.