First Kiss

  Kota didn’t protest, instead running ahead, getting doors for Victor.

  Victor carried me all the way up the stairs to his bathroom.

  “It’s ready,” Gabriel said. “It just warmed up. It’ll fill in a few minutes.”

  Victor put me down delicately on the edge of the tub, remaining close. I glanced over and saw Kota, standing in the doorway, looking in. His eyes were wide, his lips pressed together like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t.

  Victor was breathing a little heavily as he cupped my cheek. “Is this okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you want Gabriel to stay in here with you?”

  I nodded again.

  “Okay,” he said and he smiled tightly. “He’s going to stay here with you. I’ll get some breakfast for us. Do you want pancakes? Chocolate chip, right?”

  I nodded, realizing how hungry I was, and yet still sorry for what had happened with Kota. Victor had yelled at him. I didn’t want them to hate each other now.

  I thought after I was clean, and we had some breakfast, I would talk to them about it.

  Victor turned halfway around, the full fire in his eyes an explosion as he faced Kota again. “Out,” he said. “Now.”

  “I don’t...” Kota mumbled then glanced at me pleadingly before looking back at Victor. “I wanted to...”

  “I don’t care what you want right now,” Victor said. He snapped his fingers, clapped once and then made a shooing motion toward him. “Get out.”

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “She’s had enough of you right now,” Victor said. “Trust me. Trust Gabriel. We’ve got her. Just step back and let her get herself together. Give her some time.”

  Kota bowed his head and walked back out into the bedroom.

  I let out a slow breath, still trembling, still feeling the cold of the concrete from the latrine at my back, despite having been in the car for so long. It was the first time I’d seen them have an out and out fight, and it was about me.

  A minute later, Victor left, too, but before he closed the door, he looked at me and then at Gabriel. “No one comes in here until she’s ready.”

  “Hell fucking right,” Gabriel said.

  Victor twisted the lock on the door until it was set and closed it. The lock clicked into place as the door closed.

  Gabriel reached for me. He was still wearing the pajamas. “Come on,” he said, in a much gentler voice. “The tub has enough water in it.”

  Gabriel got me to release the towel, and I eased back slowly into the tub. I was still in my underwear, and I left them on. They were now dingy, dark pink material, possibly ruined, not that it mattered now.

  The moment the water enveloped me, I felt all the dirt and sand again, the grossness of my hair, the stain of tears across my cheeks. I must have looked like a monster.

  Victor’s tub was so big and round, that when I sat back where the seat bench was, Gabriel was too far away to reach.

  He frowned. “Hey,” he said. “If I leave my boxers on, can I get in?”

  I nodded and waved him in.

  He stripped down, although his cheeks and ears turned bright red. His lean body wasn’t as dirty as mine, but he still had some splotches of dirt around his feet and some along his arms. His hair was wild, the brown sticking up at the back, the blond mixed in.

  He left in his earrings, the pink crystal studs, the three black rings, and the one pink ring.

  He lowered himself in, and then eased his way over until he was sitting beside me. “Okay,” he said with a sigh as he put a hand on my knee. “Now, sit back. Let’s just chill out for a minute.”

  We found rolled-up towels nearby and used them as pillows. Once they were under our heads, we could relax in the tub and almost nap.

  I didn’t want to nap, but it helped to calm my nerves. The water was still. Gabriel remained still.

  Slowly, it started to sink in that we were back. Despite Kota and Victor being upset and how I needed to try to smooth things over with them, we were back home.

  We had survived the week. And we had won.

  “Gabriel,” I whispered.

  “Hmmm,” he said, his eyes closed.

  “I’m here for another six months,” I said. “At least until the school job is done.”

  “I know,” he said and opened his eyes, lifting up his head. His crystal eyes glowed and his grin came back. “That’s plenty of time.”

  “Is it?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he said. “We’ll work on our family dynamic here. Kota knows now, well, we still need to tell him the details, but he seems willing. I mean, he doesn’t really understand, of course, but I bet once they’re done fighting, and we’ve all calmed down, we can work it out.”

  I smiled, reaching for his hand. I squeezed it. “And then we can talk to council and make it official?”

  “That’ll probably happen,” he said. “But next time, we’ll be ready for it.”

  “You think they’ll let me in on the team?”

  “Trouble, now that they know you’re a ghost, and how talented you are, I bet they’re out there right now thinking of what they could bribe you with to get you to stay.”

  “I told them I just wanted...I wanted for me to be able to pay my own way in with favors and cash.”

  He laughed. “You know what’s funny?”

  I shook my head.

  “They offered us to pay off all of our debts just to encourage you to join Carla and Lake. At least, up until you freaked out and came to them crying. We couldn’t do it. We said no.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Did you even know we said that?”

  I shook my head, surprised. “You didn’t?”

  “We were letting you make your own decision. We said we wouldn’t encourage you one way or the other.”

  My heart pounded. They had given up favors and cash? “You...”

  “We would have graduated, all of us in one day,” he said with a smile. “It was tempting. I couldn’t go through with it, though. My heart wasn’t in it. Neither were the others’.”

  I sighed. “Maybe I should have asked them to graduate you all, too.”

  “We’re fine,” he said. “Actually, with your coming into the Academy now, we’re still in the same place, just we don’t have to worry about any more costs on your part.” He lifted an eyebrow. “You know what? I don’t know what that means now. Does that mean everything until you’re an official member, or just your cost of membership, what they usually take in favors from us to bring in another team member?”

  I wasn’t sure. “We’ll have to ask Kota. He was there. He could tell us.”

  Gabriel was about to say something else when raised voices came through the closed door.

  I groaned and braced to get up from the water.

  Gabriel reached for me, taking my hand and tugging me back down. “Hang on,” he said. “Don’t worry. They won’t come in. They said not to let anyone in...”

  “I just don’t want Victor yelling at Kota anymore,” I said. I pulled away from him. “Not about the shower.”

  “They might not be yelling about that,” he said, getting up, the water flowing off him, the boxers clinging to his body.

  “I’ll listen,” I said, standing up beside him. “If it’s about something else, I’ll come back.” I threw the towel I’d brought in to the floor and stepped on it so I wouldn’t drip all over the place.

  Gabriel followed. He wasn’t going to give me an inch of space, and I didn’t mind.

  No matter what, we’d get through it. It’d be fine.

  I put my ear to the door and listened.

  Gabriel did as well.

  And we heard it all.

  ~ A ~

  Kota Lee stood by the piano. He counted the keys, white, and then black, all of them together, and then white again. Victor had retreated, for now, having gone downstairs to ask for a maid to bring up pancakes.

  Kota paced the floor, counting, waiting, listening, although he heard no
thing from the bathroom.

  Oh god, her face. Her pale face when she was passed out. He’d screamed. He’d called her name.

  He’d never been so scared.

  He was still scared for her.

  Other images flashed through his brain. Things he couldn’t erase.

  Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Gabriel kissing her in there? He’d seen it before and he had been able to calm himself, but now, he couldn’t. She was half-naked, and trembling and weak.

  And it had been his fault.

  They should have taken her to the hospital. She needed to be checked out. Fainting wasn’t nothing that they shouldn’t worry about. He should go in there right now and demand to take her to a doctor.

  But did he really believe that? Or was he jealous that he was out here and Gabriel was in there? Was he looking for excuses to go in there, check on her, to see with his own eyes that she was okay?

  Kota trembled with fear and anger. He was angry with himself for not listening to her. She’d struggled, and she’d said no. Victor was right, he should have listened.

  He had been so sure she was just being oversensitive because of all the stress. He’d heard from Silas how she wouldn’t even step foot inside the girls’ latrine without Silas going into inspect for spiders.

  He had assumed that’s what the fear was about. He hadn’t meant to scare her so badly. He was just going to show her there weren’t any. Face your fears. That’s what they always said at the Academy.

  Even though he’d undressed to his boxers to join her, to stand with her and ward off spiders, she’d still fainted from terror. Victor had come in with her bathroom kit, only to find Kota standing over her in a panic, trying to bring her back.

  He’d been screaming for help, and too afraid for her to leave her side to do anything more than cry out. He checked her vitals, and he made sure she was still breathing.

  He didn’t think he’d ever been so afraid in his life.

  Victor had said it had happened before, but seeing it for himself, it scared Kota senseless. What if someone else, not him, had brought her to a shower, and she’d fainted, hitting her head on the concrete? What if one of the girls—already an area where she clearly had some issues—had forced her in and...

  He breathed in deeply, and pressed his hands against his face, the coarse stubble scratching his palms. One...two...

  Despite his eyes being closed, it was her face he saw.

  And Gabriel’s.

  And they were kissing.

  He opened his eyes again. He counted piano keys again. Somehow focusing on something real, like the keys, kept his imagination at bay. It was the only thing keeping him sane.

  The sound of the front gate opening outside was enough to draw him out of counting to check on who was coming through. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t George.

  It was his home, and he had every right to be there, but with Sang in the tub, Kota worried what would happen if George tried to come up and see what was going on. He crossed the room, pulling back a curtain to look out.

  It was North’s Jeep rolling in. Kota frowned, doubting his team would have been able to get all their things and pack them in the Jeep that quickly. They were one car short and it wouldn’t have fit so easily.

  He could understand they were upset with him, but that didn’t mean they could leave a mess for others to pick up. They still had responsibilities.

  Maybe he’d send them back to pick it all up. He was still thinking about this when Victor returned.

  He stood by the door opening, looking over toward the windows. “Who’s here?” he asked.

  Kota watched as some of his team got out of the car and came toward the house. He turned, walking away from the window back toward the center of the room, near the piano. “The others,” he said. “All but Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green.”

  Victor grunted, heading toward his piano, dropping heavily on the bench, his back to the keys. He leaned forward, putting his face in his hands. “I don’t think I’ve been so stressed out in my entire life.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kota said, something he’d said to Victor before they had left the campground, and again before Victor had finally gone down to get pancakes. “I didn’t know.”

  “It’s not just this,” Victor said, suddenly sitting up straight.

  There were times when his eyes were insanely intense, just like his mother’s on the rare occasions she fought with her husband. Kota had only seen them like that when Victor was upset about one of them.

  His eyes now were a fury, ten times worse.

  Victor got up and paced the floor behind the bench, his voice rising as he glared at his surroundings. “She said she wanted to be with us, and we sent her to be with the girls. We weren’t listening.”

  “She didn’t say no girl team, she just said she wanted to stay with us,” Kota said quietly. “She never said anything before like she was afraid. She never even hinted.”

  “But we weren’t listening, either,” Victor said, still pacing. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up past his elbows still. There were stains on his black pants. The dirt from the shoes he wore dirtied the white carpet. He didn’t seem to care. “I knew it. I knew bringing her to the camp was a bad idea.”

  “She wanted to join,” Kota said. “She wanted to go. We told her...”

  “We didn’t tell her enough,” Victor snapped back. He stopped mid-step, turning the full fury of his eyes on Kota. “We should have told her more.”

  “She had to see for herself,” Kota said. “She had to learn it on her own. That’s how it’s done.”

  “She wouldn’t have said anything if we’d told her ahead of time,” Victor said, waving his arms toward the bathroom door. “She wouldn’t have let on she knew anything about it.”

  “It’s too easy to read her face, and she can’t lie,” Kota said. “She’s lousy at it. Besides, why are you yelling about it now? She’s in. It’s done. And she’s still here with us.”

  “I don’t know!” Victor turned and kicked his piano bench. The leg snapped and the bench leaned, supported now only by three legs. “Because it shouldn’t have happened this way! Because she didn’t deserve to have her first true Academy experience completely ruined because we didn’t take the time to find out.”

  Kota stepped toward him, his own anger burning in him now. He’d been sympathetic to Sang and had truly blamed himself for her fainting in the shower. He’d taken Victor’s abuse, but now, he couldn’t stand it anymore. His hands curled into fists at his sides, as he focused on Victor’s angry eyes.

  “Enough,” he barked. “There was no way we could have known.”

  “We should have known,” Victor cried out. He pointed a fist at his own chest. “We should have taken the time, instead of fighting with each other about who gets her for the night, or whose sleeping bag she stays in.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Kota asked.

  “We’ve been so focused on ourselves and this stupid plan that we haven’t even spent the time with her to get her to tell us when things like this happen.” Victor covered his face with his palms. “I’m so stupid. I knew something was wrong.”

  “Hey!” North’s booming voice cut through, startling Kota. North stood in the doorway. Five days without shaving had left him with a dark beard, and his eyes were wide, dark circles under them. His clothes were dirty and rumpled. He looked dangerous.

  Behind him were the others, all pushing at North to let them by.

  North came in, letting the others in behind him, as he focused on Victor. “You’re not stupid. And stop yelling.” He pointed at Luke, who was the last to come through. “Close the door.”

  Luke shut and locked the door and then looked at Kota. “Where is she?”

  Kota nodded toward the bathroom. “In there with Gabriel taking a bath.” He frowned, unable to stop another vision of those two kissing.

  Luke started in that direction but North snapped at him. “No,” he
said. “Stay out here. We’re finishing this now.”

  Nathan and Silas started toward the bathroom door. “We didn’t come all this way back to fight,” Nathan said. “We’re going in to see her. I want to see her with my own eyes and make sure she’s okay.”

  “The fuck you are,” North said and then forced his way between the boys and the door so they couldn’t enter. “Leave her alone. If anyone’s going in there, I am.”

  “No one goes in there!” Victor shouted. At the sound, everyone froze. Victor rarely ever yelled, but in that moment, he sounded like his father.

  Victor pointed, his finger sweeping from North, and Luke, to Nathan and Silas, and then to Kota. “All of you,” he said. “I promised her she could have the bathroom as long as she needed to calm down. Gabriel’s in there with her, so we know she’s fine. She’s not going anywhere right now. North is right. We need to get this out now before we’re reduced into fist fights. The last thing we need is to end up facing an Academy council to explain why I’ve killed you all. But if you try going in there again before she’s ready to come out—so help me god—I won’t hesitate.”

  The boys fell silent, their breathing the only sound in the room as anger dissipated.

  Kota looked at his shoes, caked with mud from the week, trying to calm his heart, his anger, before he said something he’d regret forever. Victor was right. Sang could come out at any minute. No doubt she could hear the yelling. They’d scare her away for good. She’d refuse to join if she saw them fighting like this, especially over her. She’d hate that.

  Nathan shared a look with Silas. They moved quietly toward Victor’s bed, sitting on it. Luke dropped to the floor, on his knees, sitting on his heels, frowning.

  North moved away from the bathroom door, leaning against the other one that led to the hall. He pressed his back against it, folding his arms over his chest. He looked at Kota. “How much do you know about our plan?”

  “I don’t know anything,” Kota said quietly, not wanting Victor’s parents or any servants to overhear. “What plan? Sang said you all had a plan of some sort. Something about us...” He shook his head. “Just assume I don’t know anything.”