Imagine There's No Heaven

* * *

  Daniels paused. The story was playing in his eyes. He was sweating, as though he had been reliving the events right there in the veterans’ home. Guy wondered how many people’s lives that one mission had touched, how many different stories there were to tell of it. Daniels clearly had his own story. Guy wondered if he would ever hear it. He wondered exactly how close Daniels had been to his mother.

  ‘She was a good woman. A great woman,’ Daniels said. He smiled proudly. ‘Before I continue, I want you to know that she was a true hero, one of the best.’ Guy nodded, unable to speak. He found himself outside of his body. He felt like he was hovering above the room. ‘What brought you to me?’ Daniels’ voice echoed in his ears.

  Guy took his time before answering. ‘The last I heard of her was what she wrote in this letter.’ He took his mother’s letter out of his pocket. Daniels held his hand out to take it. Guy hesitated but eventually handed it over, eyeing Daniels a caution as he did. Daniels glanced over it. ‘It says she—’ Guy took a moment to compose himself. There were tears welling in his eyes. He forced them down. He hadn’t come this far to turn away now. ‘It says she was missing so, I mean, I didn’t know if she had died or if she was still alive.’ He felt a tremendous surge of relief across his body at voicing his fears so openly. ‘A friend of mine told me that you were the one she was sent to rescue; her and the others, I mean.’ He looked to Gina for support. She nodded reassuringly. ‘I searched your name in every place I could think of. Eventually I found an old newspaper article that said you were helping out here. I knew you would have met her. If she was sent to find you then she damn sure would have found you, I know that much.’

  ‘She did,’ Daniels confirmed. His wrinkled face lowered in sorrow and he began to massage his knee and chew on his lip anxiously. ‘I wish I could have done more,’ Daniels whispered to himself, remembering his own story. He ran his fingers through thin grey hair and shook his head. ‘Knowing she was in there because of me and seeing the things she—’

  ‘What things?’ Guy demanded.

  ‘I did what I could for her,’ Daniels whispered. He closed his eyes and held his hands in prayer position for the briefest moment. Before he could speak, Gina interrupted.

  ‘So she really is...?’ She rolled her hand over suggestively. Daniels eyed her as though disgusted. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘it’s just that Guy has spent his whole life with the uncertainty, with his only knowledge being that she had gone missing.’

  Daniels tensed. He closed his eyes and nodded his head. ‘Yes, she passed away.’

  Guy’s head dropped to his lap. Gina wrapped an arm about him. He shoved it aside. Gina and Daniels sat in silence as Guy began to shake. He started to tap his hand on the arm of the chair. His taps got harder and harder until he was pounding the chair with his fist.

  ‘Get off the boat or I will kill you myself.’

  Guy’s eyes shot open, ignited with bitter anger.

  ‘What did you just say?’ he demanded Gina to tell him.

  ‘Guy, I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘Get off the boat or I will kill you myself.’

  ‘Shut up,’ Guy yelled. Gina nervously backed away from him, eyes wide with fear.

  ‘Get off the boat or I will kill you myself.’

  Guy closed his eyes and started to rock back and forth in his chair. He felt sick. He was drenched in sweat, so much sweat. His entire body was soaking.

  ‘Get off the boat, son.’

  He didn’t move. He was too terrified. He just sat there shaking. He could hear bullets ringing out around him but he didn’t care. He had lost her. It was over.

  ‘Guy, please get off the boat,’ Imogen begged. ‘Get off the boat.’ Still Guy sat shaking with his eyes closed.

  ‘Guy,’ Imogen said so softly she was near angelic. ‘Guy, I love you. Please step off the boat.’

  Guy squirmed and prayed and through more fear then he had ever felt, fought his eyes open.

  He was sitting on a boat at the seashore. He was alone. Imogen was nowhere to be seen. On the beach lay a downed and seemingly empty helicopter. He could hear bullets ringing out around him. A red dot appeared on his chest. He dived for cover as bullets sprayed the water, sending little geysers up over the boat. He clung on for dear life, hoping against hope that the bullets would suddenly stop. They did, but only at the boom of an explosion that launched the boat Guy was laid in high into the sky. Guy tumbled out like a pebble and splashed into the sea. He fought for breath as the water pulled at him. He threw his arms through the surface and swam with all his might for the shore.

  His arm was killing. He had injured it when he impacted on the water. Smoke rose over the sea. He couldn’t make out his mother. He looked all around. In the background was the downed and abandoned helicopter. He swam towards it.

  ‘Here, Guy,’ he heard his mother calling. He followed her voice through the smoke.

  By the time he reached the shore he was out of breath and aching like hell. He crawled over to the helicopter. It was veiled in smoke. A crippled body crawled out from the wreckage. It coughed and spluttered and collapsed on the beach. Guy took the body in his arms. He fought to remove the head gear.

  Blond hair rained down upon a soft feminine face. Imogen was struggling for breath. Guy helped her sit up and wrapped his arms about her.

  ‘You found me,’ she wheezed.

  Guy searched for the right words to say, but there were none. He stroked her hair. It smelt of the almond shampoo they shared in the bathtub. He would have given anything to hold on to that scent.

  ‘Dad told me not to come,’ Guy muttered, though he wasn’t sure why. He felt as though he were in a dream.

  ‘Yeah, he said the same thing to me. He always has to be right.’ Imogen laughed weakly. ‘I didn’t listen to him either, poor sweetheart that he is.’ She ran a finger down Guy’s face. Her bright green eyes were vacant as though she were remembering Guy even as she lay in his arms. She raised her head a little, focussed on him and fought against the pain in her face to lift her mouth into a smile. ‘Funny the things we do for love.’

  They both sat there silently, Guy watching the waves coming and going as Imogen lay in his arms. They were still sitting there at sunset. A beautiful red sky broke, its splendour carrying Guy’s pain and sorrow away, empting his soul into the lapping waves. For once he stopped fighting and accepted the truth; his truth and Imogen’s. The waves reflected the sun and lulled him to dream. It was almost without effort that he lifted his mother’s head and softly laid her down beside him.

  Guy allowed himself to rest beside his mother until he felt peace. He knew she had gone. He lifted her silent, lifeless body into the sea, kissed her on the forehead, removed the dog tags from her neck and put them on. Finally, he let go of her and she was at peace.