Swashbuckler
Vienna?
CHOISEUL
More than twenty years ago, a land, Silesia,
Was lost by Austria, after a great battle,
In favor of Prussia. To retest their mettle
Seven years ago, Austria fought back. In vain.
They had been defeated yet again.
SWASHBUCKLER
Yet again?
CHOISEUL
Indeed. To reassert her power and her grip,
And not be forgotten her old protectorship,
She may well feel that Prague, closer to her lost land,
Will be more suitable to make her dubious stand.
Do not forget, Armand, the Archduchess is old
Her move reeks of swan song, even if it is bold.
SWASHBUCKLER
An economic and military treaty
In Europe… Next thing you know, with our enemy,
We will be using the same gold and silver coins.
CHOISEUL
Why not scraps of paper if the King so enjoins?
Armand, ‘tis not the time to be ridiculous.
For the lowliest commoner it is obvious
That this would never work. It would be a suicide.
SWASHBUCKLER
We’re all too different, languages set aside.
CHOISEUL
He would have to be fool, him who would hatch a plan
That involves what you said. A fool or a con man.
Back to the matter at hand. The English, I’m sure,
Know as much as you do. Maybe more. Please ensure
You don’t give away too much and learn in return
The missing pieces of this puzzle.
SWASHBUCKLER
My concern
It will be, rest assured.
CHOISEUL
As for Henry MacHale,
The envoy, you know him I hear.
SWASHBUCKLER
We drank some ale
Together. I was in London, on a mission,
He followed me everywhere. There is no question
He is a good man, a good soldier, and loyal
To boot. It won’t be him, if there is betrayal,
I would wager my life. He defended England
Like few did before him. My knowledge is firsthand.
CHOISEUL
I have a total confidence in you. His friend,
Robin Moore, do you know him?
SWASHBUCKLER
No.
CHOISEUL
I recommend
You approach him. He is too young to be a spy,
I cannot fathom their reasons –
SWASHBUCKLER
Yes?
CHOISEUL
As to why
They would send such a youth. This makes no sense at all.
They hide something from us.
SWASHBUCKLER
Business as usual.
CHOISEUL
Yes, secrets, as always.
SWASHBUCKLER
I’ll keep my eyes open.
CHOISEUL
Share not unless you’re sure, whatever may happen.
We don’t know who’s involved.
(He pauses a second)
How many will you be?
SWASHBUCKLER
There is Colin, myself, some from the cavalry,
The mentioned Englishmen…two colonials also.
CHOISEUL
‘Tis a strange assortment.
SWASHBUCKLER
Why would they need to go?
I mean, the Americans, Sir?
CHOISEUL
I am not sure.
They have vested interests and want to insure
England and Europe do not go to war, maybe.
After all, ‘twas founded on trade this colony,
If you remove commerce, they will not long survive.
They need imports, exports, if they intend to thrive.
I hope you uncover their intent and purpose.
Before all please make sure they do not make a fuss.
They have this tendency to arrive guns blazing
While tact, diplomacy, can do things amazing.
Now, what is it you plan on doing? Let me know.
SWASHBUCKLER
I have to meet them back at the inn. Tomorrow,
We devise a plan of action before we move.
Our men around Paris, are trying to improve
Our chances of success by thoroughly probing
every cour des miracles, any place of hiding,
All of our informants, any inn in business.
We should have results in a day, or even less.
CHOISEUL
(He hands an envelope to Armand)
Your order of mission, signed from the King himself.
(He hands him a small purse)
For your expenses…They are gold coins, not mere pelf.
I wish you all the best, though luck is not involved.
Make us proud capitaine, return with the crime solved.
SWASHBUCKLER
I will, Monsieur, I swear. I will not disappoint.
Under my watch Europe won’t be thrown out of joint.
(Exit Choiseul)
Scene 2
SWASHBUCKLER
These are strange times to live through for a mere soldier,
When foes are hidden by the curtains of power.
It is no longer an army I have to face,
It is a lurking evil, which, at will, can place
Its pawns over the stage. It is a puppeteer,
A masterful player, that can direct and steer,
And still is nowhere to be found. Cutting the strings
Requires more than a steel sword and my king’s blessings.
(Enter Colin)
COLIN
So, Swashbuckler, what are we to do?
SWASHBUCKLER
To Paris
We must return and get some sleep.
COLIN
‘Twill be a bliss.
The day was long indeed for I woke up early.
What about our allies? Will they join our party?
SWASHBUCKLER
They wait for us at the inn. We must take action.
And fast.
COLIN
What did the King say? What is our mission?
SWASHBUCKLER
Colin, my friend, it will be quite an adventure.
More than one thief, a stolen treaty – whose nature
I cannot disclose – a widespread conspiracy…
And then some!
COLIN
What’s next? Magic powers? Sorcery?
No damsel in distress?
SWASHBUCKLER
Possibly several.
COLIN
Maria Carolina?
SWASHBUCKLER
Who? I don’t recall…
COLIN
Were you not affected to serve as her detail?
You spoke of it before…What did the job entail?
SWASHBUCKLER
I was her bodyguard.
COLIN
She was your protégé.
SWASHBUCKLER
No, she was friend with the Austrian attaché.
A soldier like me is never worthy enough –
My demeanor is crude, my manners well too rough –
To be anything more than a loyal servant.
She is a princess.
COLIN
But not the heir apparent.
A daughter of the Archduchess of Austria,
She’s not the oldest, Maria Carolina.
If her mother needed to marry her children –
For political reasons – plenty do forerun,
From which she can choose.
SWASHBUCKLER
So? She is still a princess.
COLIN
Who should settle for a man, a captain no less.
Is she not talented?
SWASHBUCKLER
She is clever and deft.
She spent almost two years in Paris.
COLIN
And she left?
SWASHBUCKLER
Not long ago.
COLIN
You speak of it with emotion.
SWASHBUCKLER
She studied, learned, perfected her education.
What more can I say? She is ebullient, lively,
She has self-restraint (for a royal), is funny,
She would melt an army if they saw her beaming.
COLIN
That is quite a list, Swash.
SWASHBUCKLER
It is never ending.
But enough with the musings. Colin, drop your smirk.
Alas, dreams will need wait, we have to get to work.
Scene 3
(An inn, late morning. Henry and Robin are sitting at a table, Swashbuckler is in front of them. They are discussing and eating. There are other tables, people coming and going)
SWASHBUCKLER
You know the same as I what I said to the King.
We have to ferret out Butler’s contact, and bring
Him to justice. ‘Tis essential we determine
Who is involved.
HENRY
You have some lead, I imagine.
SWASHBUCKLER
Not just yet, Henry. My men are on the lookout.
ROBIN
I cannot wait to put the foul plotters to rout.
(Enter Colin. He sits down at the table, next to Swashbuckler and in front of Robin)
COLIN
Good day to you gentlemen. My apologies,
I am usually the first one who rises
But the night was too short, and my bed was too small.
SWASHBUCKLER
I did not expect to see you before nightfall.
Let me introduce you to our two English friends :
This is Henry MacHale, who skillfully contends
Against England’s rivals, since he was a young boy.
COLIN
I heard of your stories. Did you really destroy
Seven of Spanish ships?
HENRY
Was it seven or five?
My memories fade fast.
COLIN
I pray you can revive
Them and recount the deed. It is nice meeting you.
(They shake hands)
SWASHBUCKLER
Of the people I trust he is one of the few.
Robin is his second, both in age and in rank.
HENRY
That is not saying much, if I have to be frank.
Robin is a swordsman, a fighter outstanding
Who trained since a baby in the art of fencing.
ROBIN
Captain is way too kind, I am a footsoldier
Little experienced.
COLIN
You do look handier
Than you let show.
HENRY
He is. Trust him like you would me.
COLIN
You seem a nice lad, and excellent company.
(He shakes hand with Robin)
SWASHBUCKLER
Colin, as I told you, is one fine Musketeer,
Who has battled for France, on more than one frontier.
COLIN
While you devise a strategy, I think I’ll eat.
I am famished and could devour a rabbit.
(He stares at Robin. Henry is drinking some ale)
What is it that you had? What’s the main intercourse?
(Robin averts her gaze to hide her embarrassment, Henry spits his drink, Swashbuckler laughs)
HENRY
Course, noddy. You have to say ‘What is the main course?’
COLIN
There is a difference? That’s not how I was taught.
HENRY
Who was your teacher?
COLIN
Our maid, why?
HENRY
That’s what I thought.
COLIN
Why? What is the problem?
SWASHBUCKLER
I will tell you later.
COLIN
All this excitement for what is a small matter…
That’s what happen to Englishmen when their sweet tea
Is all of a sudden turned in bitter coffee.
How come your English is a lot better than mine?
SWASHBUCKLER
I had a lot of practice.
COLIN
When? Where? Fighting crime?
HENRY
In England. Swash, here, has graced us with his presence
On five separate occasions.
SWASHBUCKLER
Intelligence
Is your forte. You keep impeccable records,
Henry. But, yes, that is how I learned English words.
(To Henry)
I am a little disappointed.
HENRY
Why is that?
SWASHBUCKLER
There’s a trip to blemish your almost spotless stat.
(Enter a musketeer)
MUSKETEER
I have a message for the one called Swashbuckler.
(He recognizes Colin)
Good day, Monsieur.
SWASHBUCKLER
Over here, it is me, soldier.
(He’s handed the letter. Exit musketeer)
COLIN
Is it good news? Bad news? Are we making progress?
SWASHBUCKLER
MacHale this is for you, but you will never guess –
HENRY
What is it?
SWASHBUCKLER
Not two days after you left London
Irina Rubcov left Saint-Petersburg.
COLIN
Pardon?
I do not understand. Who is that Irina?
HENRY
A Russian spy superb. Her code name, Krasota,
Translates as ‘beauty.’ Beautiful is not enough,
She is gorgeous, stunning. But she is also tough.
In fact, her physical features are only matched
By her sheer deadliness.
SWASHBUCKLER
If she has been dispatched –
HENRY
Did it say where she went?
SWASHBUCKLER
She took the quickest road
If she wants to reach Prague.
HENRY
If we needed a goad –
COLIN
I trust you have met her.
HENRY
On many occasions.
What you should know of her : she is good with poisons.
More than that she’s gifted. She is cold and ruthless.
She could kill a man while still look good in a dress.
ROBIN
You speak of her with admiration in your voice.
HENRY
I do.
(He pauses a second, looking thoughtful)
I am curious as to the Russians’ choice.
If they sent her they know something is going down.
There’s no greater foe than the