Pelham — Complete

  Produced by David Widger

  PELHAM

  By Edward Bulwer Lytton

  VOLUME I.

  CHAPTER I.

  Ou peut-on etre mieux qu'au sein de sa famille?--French Song. [Wherecan on be better than in the bosom of one's family?]

  I am an only child. My father was the younger son of one of our oldestearls; my mother the dowerless daughter of a Scotch peer. Mr. Pelham wasa moderate whig, and gave sumptuous dinners; Lady Frances was a woman oftaste, and particularly fond of diamonds and old china.

  Vulgar people know nothing of the necessaries required in good society,and the credit they give is as short as their pedigree. Six yearsafter my birth, there was an execution in our house. My mother was justsetting off on a visit to the Duchess of D_____; she declared itwas impossible to go without her diamonds. The chief of the bailiffsdeclared it was impossible to trust them out of his sight. The matterwas compromised--the bailiff went with my mother to C___, and wasintroduced as my tutor. "A man of singular merit," whispered my mother,"but so shy!" Fortunately, the bailiff was abashed, and by losing hisimpudence he kept the secret. At the end of the week, the diamonds wentto the jeweller's, and Lady Frances wore paste.

  I think it was about a month afterwards that a sixteenth cousin leftmy mother twenty thousand pounds. "It will just pay off our mostimportunate creditors, and equip me for Melton," said Mr. Pelham.

  "It will just redeem my diamonds, and refurnish the house," said LadyFrances.

  The latter alternative was chosen. My father went down to run his lasthorse at Newmarket, and my mother received nine hundred people in aTurkish tent. Both were equally fortunate, the Greek and the Turk; myfather's horse lost, in consequence of which he pocketed five thousandpounds; and my mother looked so charming as a Sultana, that SeymourConway fell desperately in love with her.

  Mr. Conway had just caused two divorces; and of course, all the womenin London were dying for him--judge then of the pride which Lady Francesfelt at his addresses. The end of the season was unusually dull, andmy mother, after having looked over her list of engagements, andascertained that she had none remaining worth staying for, agreed toelope with her new lover.

  The carriage was at the end of the square. My mother, for the first timein her life, got up at six o'clock. Her foot was on the step, and herhand next to Mr. Conway's heart, when she remembered that her favouritechina monster and her French dog were left behind. She insisted onreturning--re-entered the house, and was coming down stairs with oneunder each arm, when she was met by my father and two servants. Myfather's valet had discovered the flight (I forget how), and awakenedhis master.

  When my father was convinced of his loss, he called for hisdressing-gown--searched the garret and the kitchen--looked in the maid'sdrawers and the cellaret--and finally declared he was distracted. I haveheard that the servants were quite melted by his grief, and I do notdoubt it in the least, for he was always celebrated for his skill inprivate theatricals. He was just retiring to vent his grief in hisdressing-room, when he met my mother. It must altogether have been anawkward rencontre, and, indeed, for my father, a remarkably unfortunateoccurrence; for Seymour Conway was immensely rich, and the damageswould, no doubt, have been proportionably high. Had they met each otheralone, the affair might easily have been settled, and Lady Frances goneoff in tranquillity;--those d--d servants are always in the way!

  I have, however, often thought that it was better for me that the affairended thus,--as I know, from many instances, that it is frequentlyexceedingly inconvenient to have one's mother divorced.

  I have observed that the distinguishing trait of people accustomed togood society, is a calm, imperturbable quiet, which pervades all theiractions and habits, from the greatest to the least: they eat in quiet,move in quiet, live in quiet, and lose their wife, or even their money,in quiet; while low persons cannot take up either a spoon or anaffront without making such an amazing noise about it. To render thisobservation good, and to return to the intended elopement, nothingfarther was said upon that event. My father introduced Conwayto Brookes's, and invited him to dinner twice a week for a wholetwelvemonth.

  Not long after this occurrence, by the death of my grandfather, my unclesucceeded to the title and estates of the family. He was, as peoplejustly observed, rather an odd man: built schools for peasants, forgavepoachers, and diminished his farmers' rents; indeed, on account of theseand similar eccentricities, he was thought a fool by some, and a madmanby others. However, he was not quite destitute of natural feeling; forhe paid my father's debts, and established us in the secure enjoyment ofour former splendour. But this piece of generosity, or justice, was donein the most unhandsome manner; he obtained a promise from my father toretire from Brookes's, and relinquish the turf; and he prevailed uponmy mother to take an aversion to diamonds, and an indifference to chinamonsters.