Pelham — Complete

  CHAPTER LXXXII.

  Et cantare pares, et respondere parati.--Virgil.

  As we walked on into Tottenham-court-road, where we expected to find ahackney-coach, my companion earnestly and strenuously impressed on mymind, the necessity of implicitly obeying any instructions or hintshe might give me in the course of our adventure. "Remember," said he,forcibly, "that the least deviation from them, will not only defeatour object of removing Dawson, but even expose our lives to the mostimminent peril." I faithfully promised to conform to the minutest tittleof his instructions.

  We came to a stand of coaches. Jonson selected one, and gave thecoachman an order; he took care it should not reach my ears. During thehalf hour we passed in this vehicle, Job examined and reexamined mein my "canting catechism," as he termed it. He expressed himselfmuch pleased with the quickness of my parts, and honoured me with anassurance that in less than three months he would engage to make me ascomplete a ruffler as ever nailed a swell.

  To this gratifying compliment I made the best return in my power.

  "You must not suppose," said Jonson--some minutes afterwards, "fromour use of this language, that our club consists of the lower order ofthieves--quite the contrary: we are a knot of gentlemen adventurers whowear the best clothes, ride the best hacks, frequent the best gaminghouses, as well as the genteelest haunts, and sometimes keep the firstcompany in London. We are limited in number: we have nothing in commonwith ordinary prigs, and should my own little private amusements (as youappropriately term them) be known in the set, I should have a veryfair chance of being expelled for ungentlemanlike practices. We rarelycondescend to speak 'flash' to each other in our ordinary meetings, butwe find it necessary, for many shifts to which fortune sometimes drivesus. The house you are going this night to visit, is a sort of colonywe have established for whatever persons amongst us are in danger ofblood-money. [Rewards for the apprehension of thieves.] There theysometimes lie concealed for weeks together, and are at last shipped offfor the continent, or enter the world under a new alias. To this refugeof the distressed we also send any of the mess, who, like Dawson, aretroubled with qualms of conscience, which are likely to endanger thecommonwealth; there they remain, as in a hospital, till death, or acure, in short, we put the house, like its inmates, to any purposeslikely to frustrate our enemies, and serve ourselves. Old BrimstoneBess, to whom I shall introduce you, is, as I before said, the guardianof the place; and the language that respectable lady chiefly indulgesin, is the one into which you have just acquired so good an insight.Partly in compliment to her, and partly from inclination, the dialectadopted in her house, is almost entirely 'flash;' and you, therefore,perceive the necessity of appearing not utterly ignorant of a tongue,which is not only the language of the country, but one with which notrue boy, however high in his profession, is ever unacquainted."

  By the time Jonson had finished this speech, the coach stopped--I lookedeagerly out--Jonson observed the motion: "We have not got half-way yet,your honour," said he. We left the coach, which Jonson requested me topay, and walked on.

  "Tell me frankly, Sir," said Job, "do you know where you are?"

  "Not in the least," replied I, looking wistfully up a long, dull,ill-lighted street.

  Job rolled his sinister eye towards me with a searching look, and thenturning abruptly to the right, penetrated into a sort of covered lane,or court, which terminated in an alley, that brought us suddenly to astand of three coaches; one of these Job hailed--we entered it--a secretdirection was given, and we drove furiously on, faster than I shouldthink the crazy body of hackney chariot ever drove before. I observed,that we had now entered a part of the town, which was singularlystrange to me; the houses were old, and for the most part of the meanestdescription; we appeared to me to be threading a labyrinth of alleys;once, I imagined that I caught, through a sudden opening, a glimpse ofthe river, but we passed so rapidly, that my eye might have deceivedme. At length we stopped: the coachman was again dismissed, and I againwalked onwards, under the guidance, and almost at the mercy of my honestcompanion.

  Jonson did not address me--he was silent and absorbed, and I hadtherefore full leisure to consider my present situation. Though (thanksto my physical constitution) I am as callous to fear as most men, a fewchilling apprehensions, certainly flitted across my mind, when I lookedround at the dim and dreary sheds--houses they were not--which wereon either side of our path; only here and there, a single lamp shed asickly light upon the dismal and intersecting lanes (though lane istoo lofty a word), through which our footsteps woke a solitary sound.Sometimes this feeble light was altogether withheld, and I couldscarcely catch even the outline of my companion's muscular frame.However, he strode on through the darkness, with the mechanical rapidityof one to whom every stone is familiar. I listened eagerly for the soundof the watchman's voice, in vain--that note was never heard in thosedesolate recesses. My ear drank in nothing but the sound of our ownfootsteps, or the occasional burst of obscene and unholy merriment fromsome half-closed hovel, where infamy and vice were holding revels.Now and then, a wretched thing, in the vilest extreme of want,and loathsomeness, and rags, loitered by the unfrequent lamps, andinterrupted our progress with solicitations, which made my blood runcold. By degrees even these tokens of life ceased--the last lamp wasentirely shut from our view--we were in utter darkness.

  "We are near our journey's end now," whispered Jonson

  At these words a thousand unwelcome reflections forced themselvesvoluntarily on my mind: I was about to plunge into the most secretretreat of men whose long habits of villany and desperate abandonment,had hardened into a nature which had scarcely a sympathy with my own;unarmed and defenceless, I was going to penetrate a concealment uponwhich their lives perhaps depended; what could I anticipate fromtheir vengeance, but the sure hand and the deadly knife, which theirself-preservation would more than justify to such lawless reasoners. Andwho was my companion? One, who literally gloried in the perfection ofhis nefarious practices; and who, if he had stopped short of the worstenormities, seemed neither to disown the principle upon which they werecommitted, nor to balance for a moment between his interest and hisconscience.

  Nor did he attempt to conceal from me the danger to which I was exposed;much as his daring habits of life, and the good fortune which hadattended him, must have hardened his nerves, even he, seemed fullysensible of the peril he incurred--a peril certainly considerably lessthan that which attended my temerity. Bitterly did I repent, as thesereflections rapidly passed my mind, my negligence in not providingmyself with a single weapon in case of need: the worst pang of death, isthe falling without a struggle.

  However, it was no moment for the indulgence of fear, it was ratherone of those eventful periods which so rarely occur in the monotonyof common life, when our minds are sounded to their utmost depths: andenergies of which we dreamt not, when at rest in their secret retreats,arise like spirits at the summons of the wizard, and bring to theinvoking mind, an unlooked for and preternatural aid.

  There was something too in the disposition of my guide, which gave me aconfidence in him, not warranted by the occupations of his life; an easyand frank boldness, an ingenuous vanity of abilities, skilfully, thoughdishonestly exerted, which had nothing of the meanness and mystery of anordinary villain, and which being equally prominent with the rascalitythey adorned, prevented the attention from dwelling only upon the darkershades of his character. Besides, I had so closely entwined his interestwith my own, that I felt there could be no possible ground either forsuspecting him of any deceit towards me, or of omitting any art orexertion which could conduce to our mutual safety or our common end.

  Forcing myself to dwell solely upon the more encouraging side of theenterprise I had undertaken, we continued to move on, silent and indarkness, for some minutes longer--Jonson then halted.

  "Are you quite prepared, Sir?" said he, in a whisper: "if your heartfails, in God's name let us turn back: the least evident terror will beas much as your life is worth."

&
nbsp; My thoughts were upon Sir Reginald and Ellen, as I replied--

  "You have told and convinced me that I may trust is you, and I have nofears; my present object is one as strong to me as life."

  "I would we had a glim," rejoined Job, musingly; "I should like to seeyour face: but will you give me your hand, Sir?"

  I did, and Jonson held it in his own for more than a minute.

  "'Fore Heaven, Sir," said he, at last, "I would you were one of us. Youwould live a brave man and die a game one. Your pulse is like iron; andyour hand does not sway--no--not so much as to wave a dove's feather; itwould be a burning shame if harm came to so stout a heart." Job moved ona few steps. "Now, Sir," he whispered, "remember your flash; do exactlyas I may have occasion to tell you; and be sure to sit away from thelight, should we be in company."

  With these words he stopped. I perceived by the touch, for it wastoo dark to see, that he was leaning down, apparently in a listeningattitude; presently, he tapped five times at what I supposed was a door,though I afterwards discovered it was the shutter to a window; uponthis, a faint light broke through the crevices of the boards, and a lowvoice uttered some sound, which my ear did not catch. Job replied, inthe same key, and in words which were perfectly unintelligible to me;the light disappeared; Job moved round, as if turning a corner. Iheard the heavy bolts and bars of a door slowly withdraw; and in a fewmoments, a harsh voice said, in the thieves' dialect,

  "Ruffling Job, my prince of prigs, is that you? are you come to the kenalone, or do you carry double?"

  "Ah, Bess, my covess, strike me blind if my sees don't tout your bingomuns in spite of the darkmans. Egad, you carry a bane blink aloft. Cometo the ken alone--no! my blowen; did not I tell you I should bring apater cove, to chop up the whiners for Dawson?"

  "Stubble it, you ben, you deserve to cly the jerk for your patter; comein, and be d--d to you."

  Upon this invitation, Jonson, seizing me by the arm, pushed me into thehouse, and followed. "Go for a glim, Bess, to light in the parish bullwith proper respect. I'll close the gig of the crib."

  At this order, delivered in an authoritative tone, the old woman,mumbling "strange oaths" to herself, moved away; when she was out ofhearing, Job whispered,

  "Mark, I shall leave the bolts undrawn, the door opens with a latch,which you press thus--do not forget the spring; it is easy, butpeculiar; should you be forced to run for it, you will also remember,above all, when you are out of the door, to turn to the right and gostraight forwards."

  The old woman now reappeared with a light, and Jonson ceased, and movedhastily towards her: I followed. The old woman asked whether the doorhad been carefully closed, and Jonson, with an oath at her doubts ofsuch a matter, answered in the affirmative.

  We proceeded onwards, through a long and very narrow passage, till Bessopened a small door to the left, and introduced us into a large room,which, to my great dismay, I found already occupied by four men, whowere sitting, half immersed in smoke, by an oak table, with a capaciousbowl of hot liquor before them. At the back ground of this room, whichresembled the kitchen of a public house, was an enormous skreen, ofantique fashion; a low fire burnt sullenly in the grate, and beside itwas one of those high-backed chairs, seem frequently in old houses, andold pictures. A clock stood in one corner, and in the opposite nook werea flight of narrow stairs, which led downwards, probably to a cellar.On a row of shelves, were various bottles of the different liquorsgenerally in request among the "flash" gentry, together with anold-fashioned fiddle, two bridles, and some strange looking tools,probably of more use to true boys than honest men.

  Brimstone Bess was a woman about the middle size, but with bones andsinews which would not have disgraced a prize-fighter; a cap, that mighthave been cleaner, was rather thrown than put on the back of her head,developing, to full advantage, the few scanty locks of grizzled ebonwhich adorned her countenance. Her eyes large, black, and prominent,sparkled with a fire half vivacious, half vixen. The nasal featurewas broad and fungous, and, as well as the whole of her capaciousphysiognomy, blushed with the deepest scarlet: it was evident to seethat many a full bottle of "British compounds" had contributed to thefeeding of that burning and phosphoric illumination, which was, indeed,"the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace."

  The expression of the countenance was not wholly bad. Amidst the deeptraces of searing vice and unrestrained passion; amidst all that wasbold, and unfeminine, and fierce, and crafty, there was a latent lookof coarse good humour, a twinkle of the eye that bespoke a tendency tomirth and drollery, and an upward curve of the lip that shewed, howeverthe human creature might be debased, it still cherished its grandcharacteristic--the propensity to laughter.

  The garb of this dame Leonarda was by no means of that humble naturewhich one might have supposed. A gown of crimson silk, flounced andfurbelowed to the knees, was tastefully relieved by a bright yellowshawl; and a pair of heavy pendants glittered in her ears, which wereof the size proper to receive "the big words" they were in the habitof hearing. Probably this finery had its origin in the policy of herguests, who had seen enough of life to know that age, which tames allother passions, never tames the passion of dress in a woman's mind.

  No sooner did the four revellers set their eyes upon me than they allrose.

  "Zounds, Bess!" cried the tallest of them, "what cull's this? Is this abowsing ken for every cove to shove his trunk in?"

  "What ho, my kiddy," cried Job, "don't be glimflashy: why you'd cry beefon a blater; the cove is a bob cull, and a pal of my own; and, moreover,is as pretty a Tyburn blossom as ever was brought up to ride a horsefoaled by an acorn."

  Upon this commendatory introduction I was forthwith surrounded, and oneof the four proposed that I should be immediately "elected."

  This motion, which was probably no gratifying ceremony, Job negativedwith a dictatorial air, and reminded his comrades that however theymight find it convenient to lower themselves occasionally, yet that theywere gentlemen sharpers, and not vulgar cracksmen and cly-fakers,and that, therefore, they ought to welcome me with the good breedingappropriate to their station.

  Upon this hint, which was received with mingled laughter and deference,for Job seemed to be a man of might among these Philistines, the tallestof the set, who bore the euphonious appellation of Spider-shanks,politely asked me if I would "blow a cloud with him?" and, upon myassent--for I thought such an occupation would be the best excuse forsilence--he presented me with a pipe of tobacco, to which dame Brimstoneapplied a light, and I soon lent my best endeavours to darken stillfurther the atmosphere around us.

  Mr. Job Jonson then began artfully to turn the conversation away fromme to the elder confederates of his crew; these were all spoken ofunder certain singular appellations which might well baffle impertinentcuriosity. The name of one was "the Gimblet," another "Crack Crib," athird, the "Magician," a fourth, "Cherry coloured Jowl." The tallest ofthe present company was called (as I before said) "Spider-shanks," andthe shortest "Fib Fakescrew;" Job himself was honoured by the venerabilenomen of "Guinea Pig." At last Job explained the cause of my appearance;viz. his wish to pacify Dawson's conscience by dressing up one of thepals, whom the sinner could not recognize, as an "autem bawler," and soobtaining him the benefit of the clergy without endangering the gangby his confession. This detail was received with great good humour,and Job, watching his opportunity, soon after rose, and, turning to me,said,

  "Toddle, my bob cull. We must track up the dancers and tout the sinner."

  I wanted no other hint to leave my present situation.

  "The ruffian cly thee, Guinea Pig, for stashing the lush," saidSpider-shanks, helping himself out of the bowl, which was nearly empty.

  "Stash the lush!" cried Mrs. Brimstone, "aye, and toddle off to Ruggins.Why, you would not be boosing till lightman's in a square crib likemine, as if you were in a flash panny."

  "That's bang up, mort!" cried Fib. "A square crib, indeed! aye, squareas Mr. Newman's courtyard--ding boys on three sides
, and the crap on thefourth!"

  This characteristic witticism was received with great applause; andJonson, taking a candlestick from the fair fingers of the exasperatedMrs. Brimstone, the hand thus conveniently released, immediatelytransferred itself to Fib's cheeks, with so hearty a concussion, thatit almost brought the rash jester to the ground. Jonson and I lost nota moment in taking advantage of the confusion this gentle remonstranceappeared to occasion; but instantly left the room and closed the door.