F*CKER

  Smiling, I placed her back down to the floor slowly, releasing her so I could pull my pants back on. Her body almost dropped to the ground when her feet surfaced. “Whoa,” I said, laughing and scooping her back up to her feet. Pushing her hair out of her face, I kissed the tip her nose. “Now you wanna tell me more about this ‘Jimmy?’” I asked her, and she rolled her eyes, pulling her bottoms back on.

  “Shut up, he was just… convenient.”

  After buckling my belt back up, I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed, tying her hair into a high ponytail, leaving the ends traveling down to the middle of her back. Fuck, she was sexy after being thoroughly fucked. She was sexy all the time, but there was something about seeing her cheeks hot pink, her hair messy, the sweat trickling off her, and knowing I had done that to her. That was soul-consuming.

  I hooked my hand into hers, pulling her body into mine gently. “Mia was just that too, casual. She’s a cool-as-shit girl who used me as much as I used her.”

  She shrugged, opting to change the subject. “I’m surprised you have enough time for your dick, with the band keeping you busy. Speaking of the band, you can’t leave, but are you guys still recording?”

  I ran my hands over my head. “Yeah, we’re still recording. We’ll go on tour for this album once I’m off probation.” We’ve been distracted lately, haven’t been able to work in hardly any studio time, but Marcus—our manager, and I guess father figure, since he’s been with us fresh out of high school—has lined up a busy schedule for our next world tour.”

  “Oh, right.” She fixed up her top before heading for the door handle. I stopped her short, pulling her into me again.

  “Are you okay? You know… about Mia?”

  “I know you’ve been with other girls, Ryker. I just don’t want them waved in front of my face, mmkay? Because then I might do something drastic, like… mmm, I don’t know… chop your dick off, or jump on someone else’s.” She went for the handle again. I stopped her once more, slamming the door closed with my other hand.

  “Princess,” I growled, pushing her into the wooden surface and my dick up the slit of her ass. “I don’t play well with other people touching my toys. Remember?”

  “Well,” she said, flicking my hand off the door. “Don’t treat me like one of your toys, and then maybe I won’t act like one. Okay?”

  My eyes narrowed. “You’ve been around Phoebe too long.”

  She laughed, opening the door. “Maybe, but is that a bad thing?”

  “No. Definitely not. It’s just a scary thing,” I answered, pulling her under my arm as we walked back downstairs to the bar and out to where our table was.

  The night had set and the drivers had all done their laps. Mia, the girl with the strange accent, came in first. I had to admit, seeing how she and Ryker were together threw me off guard a little. I knew he discarded women like trash, but there was something else with Mia, like a level of respect that he had for her, which was what both pissed me off and piqued my attention. She was beautiful too, long dark hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a natural tan all over her tall body. You’d have to be blind not to be jealous. Or you would be Indie, who just wanted to stab her on the spot.

  Personally, I thought Indie had a lot of anger management classes she needed to attend. Maybe she and Ryker could go together. Then I remembered how much she drove Ryker crazy and chuckled, clutching his hoodie around myself as everyone began to leave. I raised my drink to my mouth, and he looked over at me, taking my hand in his. A bonfire erupted in my belly as he pulled me toward him.

  I stood, walking over to him until he pulled me down onto his lap. A chopper hovered above us with a spotlight and I sighed, shaking my head and wrapping my arms around his neck, blocking out everyone at our table.

  “Does this ever stop?” I asked, tilting my head at him.

  He licked his bottom lip and shook his head. “Wish I could say yes, but no.” His eyebrows drew together, waiting for my response. “Will you be okay with it?”

  I smiled. “I guess.”

  “When we want to get away though, there’s this tropical island in Australia called Hamilton Island where we can ban paparazzi from entering while we’re there.”

  “Really?” I asked, my eyes widening.

  Phoebe piped in, and it looked like Ryker wanted to kick her. “Yeah, we should make it a family trip. When Ryker can leave the country, that is.”

  Phoebe answered Bryliegh innocently while smirking at me. My heart filled with the same amount of love and hate it did whenever Phoebe opened her mouth.

  Bryleigh’s face fell as she turned, both her legs spreading over my lap. My arm cradled her back while my other hooked under her legs to secure them.

  I looked toward Rellik and grinned. “I thought Nettie was coming?”

  Phoebe’s face dropped. “She changed her mind. I don’t know why.”

  “Probably because she knew this bastard was going to be here,” I said, pointing to Rellik.

  He laughed. “I fucking paid for my time with her. I fucked up. I know that, but damn, the chick has been busting my balls ever since.”

  I chuckled, raising my finger and placing my bottle onto the table. “One, you haven’t even come close to breaking even with what you put that girl through. And two, how could she be busting your balls when she hasn’t even acknowledged your existence?”

  Phoebe held her fist out to me and I pounded it then sizzled my fingers back in the handshake we created one of the first nights I had met her. “Exactly,” she added, taking a drink of her beer.

  The whole place was cleared out now. It was just us and the cleaners who were here, starting the major clean up. I dropped my head down into the crook of Bryleigh’s neck, kissing over her warm skin, her hair tickling my nose and her unique smell of Clive Christian No.1 drifting into me. It was always her smell, even at school. Her mom had bought it since she was a little girl when her dad accidently purchased it thinking it was men’s cologne.

  “You wanna get out of here?” I asked, grumbling into her neck, and Phoebe laughed, shaking her head.

  “Nuh uh.” She stood from her seat, looking between Indie and Bryleigh, and my palms twitched in annoyance. I looked at Ryder, waiting for some help, but he just laughed, throwing his hands up in defeat.

  Phoebe curled her fingers at the girls. “Come on. We’re going for a drive.”

  Fuck.

  I shot up off Ryker’s lap at the same time Indie did. “Really?” We both clapped our hands in excitement. I tore off Ryker’s hoodie and threw it down to his lap as he ran his finger over his bottom lip, obviously deep in thought. Phoebe pointed to the BMW that sat at the starting line. “Come on.”

  “Wait,” Ryker said, standing from his spot. “Phoebs, wait.”

  She paused, looking back to us as I glanced between the two of them. I swear, if he fucked this up for me, I’d kill him.

  “Meet me there.” Phoebe nudged her head toward the car.

  I hooked Indie’s arm in mine as we walked through the grass area and jumped over the metal barrier that lined across the track, keeping the tables and crowd separate.

  I looked up to the bright stars that shone over us, the moon glistening off the still lake that sat miles away from the starting line before bring my eyes back to Indie, who was already watching me as we approached the car.

  “You’re really happy, aren’t you?”

  I nodded, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my hair. “Yeah, I guess I sort of am.”

  “You can do this? This life? You know it’s crazy, right? And Ryker being Ryker, he might fuck things up?”

  She was right. I leaned against the car and sighed. “I know. But if I don’t at least give us another go, I will always wonder what if. It’s always been him, Indie. I owe it to us to give it a shot.”

  She smiled, hooking her arm around my neck as we both leaned the back of our heads on the roof of the car, looking up to the stars.

  “I forgot to ask,” I sai
d, not moving my attention away from the twinkling sky. “What did you think of Frost? My racy senses were tingling and there was some serious sex juju seeping off of you.”

  She laughed. “Sex juju?” I giggled with her. “Let’s put it this way,” she started. “I’d fuck him even if he was infested with genital herpes.”

  I giggled, moving my head toward hers at the same time Phoebe interrupted, “Damn, that hot, huh? Who is this man good enough to catch warts for?” She unlocked the car and smirked at both of us.

  “Frost,” I said to Phoebe, and she laughed.

  “Yeah, he’s not too shabby. He’s no Oakley though.” She winked at me before climbing into the driver’s seat. I agreed with her internally, slipping into the passenger seat.

  “No offence,” Indie said, climbing into the back. “I’d do an Oakley, God knows I would, but they’re too sought after. The entire female population wants their babies. Like, no… I’m not prepared to deal with that kind of competition on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. Hell, there’s probably some poor girl out there, with her finger up her snatch, smashing a sneaky one with those boys in her thoughts.”

  My smile stopped as I pulled on my seatbelt. Phoebe watched me out of the corner of her eye before tapping my knee. “It doesn’t get easier. You just learn to ignore it.”

  “How?” I asked. “How do you ignore it when all you want to do is rip all these little fangirls’ faces off?”

  Phoebe laughed, popping the accelerator. “Oh, honey, you blow them kisses while grabbing his ass.”

  We all laughed as she floored it.

  ***

  Later that night, we were walking back up to the front door, with Indie, Tommy, and Leo ahead of us as their bodyguard, Rufus, and Nikos trailed behind me and Ryker. My shoes were clutched in my hand, with Ryker’s hoodie sprawled out across my shoulders.

  Indie threw up deuces as she walked through the front door. “Hitting the sack. Peace out, bitches. Nikos? Feel free to come into my room and sexually harass me while I sleep,” she said, before walking down the hallway toward one of the guest rooms. My mouth dropped open, my steps pausing.

  I spun around with my face beet-red. “I’m really sorry about my friend. She’s a whore.”

  “I heard that!” she yelled from her room. I rolled my eyes.

  Nikos shrugged his shoulders, winking at me. “Noted.”

  “Jesus,” Ryker mumbled into my hair, as we both walked our heavy feet up the stairs that led to the master bedroom. “The girl has no chill.”

  I laughed, walking into the room. Phoebe and Indie’s comment played on my mind the whole time we prepared for bed. What was this? We moved too fast to actually identify what was happening.

  As we both poured ourselves into the shower that night, and his skilled fingers ran soap over my tired body, the thoughts continued to play in my mind on repeat. Was I mentally equipped to deal with this for the rest of my life? Models he had already slept with, and ones who still wanted to? Do I trust him? The answer was both yes and no. But as his hands molded my breasts and his warm mouth crashed onto mine, with the scorching hot water running over our faces, I lost myself in his presence. All my doubts slowly disappeared, and his wicked ways put my questions to sleep.

  For now.

  “I’m fucking serious, Bry. Call me when you get there.”

  “I know, I know, and I will.” I attempted to push out of Ryker’s grip that he had around me.

  Sighing, I rested my hands on his broad shoulders. “I will text you when we arrive, okay?”

  He nodded, pulling open the back door for me to get in. He had Nikos driving us in his car, since Indie flew straight here and Todd and I drove here in my Audi. My dad drove my Audi back to Hollywood for me. I wasn’t ready to deal with Todd’s belongings and memories. Speaking of my parents, I needed to make a call to my mom this week. Dad said she wasn’t dealing well with all the added insight into our private lives. That was part of the reason why I knew I had to go back to The Manor for a while, to spend time with my mom and dad and to ground myself again, maybe do some yoga.

  Ryker shut the door and I wound down the window as Indie slid in beside me with Nikos getting into the front.

  “Bye, baby.” He pushed my hair out of my face, grasping his fingers around my chin and pulling my lips to his.

  “Bye,” I said against his tentative kisses. The burning questions I was asking myself last night were still simmering in the back of my brain, waiting for someone to throw more fluid onto it and set it alight. I smiled one last time at him, winding up my window as Nikos pulled out of Ryker’s driveway and set off for Hollywood.

  I didn’t have to wait long before that fluid was added.

  ***

  Pulling into the bright lights of Hollywood Hills, I stretched my arms above my head and looked at my watch. “We made good time.”

  Indie nodded, stretching out her neck. “We did.”

  After letting Nikos know Todd’s and my apartment address, I turned to face Indie. “You don’t have to come with me.”

  “Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m leaving.”

  “What about your boss?”

  “Dom? Nah, he’s cool. I’ll send him a text and ask him if I can have the week off.”

  I sighed, resting my head into the seat. “Dominic Abrahams.” I pressed my hand up against my chest in mock awe. Indie laughed, shoving me in the arm while removing her headphones.

  “Did you know his sister married Phoebe’s brother?”

  “Really?” I asked, shocked. “How’d you find out?”

  “When I told him I was going to Westbeach to see you, he told me his sister lives there and it went from there.”

  I raised my brows. “Huh, small world.”

  We pulled up to the Chateau Marmont and I sighed, pulling my handbag up over my shoulder while Nikos drove into the underground parking spot.

  Indie’s hand wrapped around mine with a small squeeze. “Do you know who all his stuff goes to since he didn’t have family and you two weren’t married?” she asked.

  “No idea. I’ll leave that to the lawyers. I have an idea of what I’d do if I was left with it all though.” I did, I had already decided I would sell it all and give the proceeds to a domestic violence charity.

  The car stopped and I pushed open the door, stepping out to the familiar surroundings. Nikos and Indie both rounded the car.

  “I can walk you up then come down and grab your bags?” Nikos asked, and I shook my head.

  “No. I think we should gather up as much stuff from here that was mine, which isn’t a lot, and then we should all stay at Indie’s. Would that be okay?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “Of course, I have the house to myself for two weeks.”

  I pulled out my phone, opening up a new message to text Ryker and let him know we were here.

  Me: Hey, we got here a few mins ago. Just sorting thru my stuff then we’re staying at Indie’s.

  I pushed my phone back into my bag after waiting a couple of minutes for him to reply.

  “You okay?” Indie asked, as she sifted through my closet, pulling all my clothes out. I thought it would be strange, being back in this place, but all it feels is haunted. Todd’s presence was still very much alive in this house, and it made my skin crawl.

  I nodded, picking up the clothes she had put aside and shoving them into my suitcase. “Yeah. I texted Ryker, but he must be busy.”

  Sensing my unease, she paused. “Hon? Do you trust him?”

  I shrugged, walking toward the dresser that sat beside the bed. “He hasn’t given me a reason not to, and I guess I decided I trusted him the minute I let him kiss me. But…”

  “But…” she prompted, walking toward me with her hands on her hips.

  “But I still can’t get it out of my head how friendly he was with Mia. Is he like that with all girls? Or was it just her? Because I used to think it was just with me until I saw him with Phoebe… and then with Mia… but shou—?
?? Indie pushed her index finger up against my lips and I exhaled a long breath of frustration.

  “Honey, you have to decide and not look back. Ryker is Ryker, you know. He’s playful, but yet he’s a fucker too. That hasn’t changed. He uses woman as pieces to his own puzzle for his mere enjoyment, but don’t get that confused with his true feelings, B. He cares about very little, and his dick’s line of thought doesn’t count.”

  “Why do you have to make sense?” I asked, with a smile.

  She shrugged, slapping her own ass cheek with a whack. “Because I’m the bomb, baby.”

  I shook my head, placing the last of my things in another suitcase before zipping it up.

  “You all ready?” Nikos asked, walking into the room. It was the first time I noticed he was wearing a suit with a leather jacket thrown over top, and it looked bad ass. He was hot. “Yeah?” he asked, with a smile.

  Dammit, Bryleigh, you big pervert.

  “Sorry, yes, yup! We’re ready.” He nodded his head, tapping the doorframe a couple times before walking back out.

  Indie came up beside me. “You’d let him sexually harass you as well. Don’t even lie.”

  I laughed, throwing my head back and pulling up the handle to my suitcase. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t.” I waggled my eyebrows.

  “Careful, B. You know how much I love to work up Ryker. I’ll be stashing all sorts of ammunition to tease him with,” she answered, winking at me.

  My face dropped as I followed her out of the room. “I will stab you.”

  “Out of love, I hope.”

  I giggled, rolling my eyes as we made it to the front door. I took one more look around the apartment, which had housed my suffering every day, before letting out a slow exhale of breath, flicking the switch off and walking out for the final time.

  “He text back?” Indie asked. We were lying out on her patio that overlooked the streets of downtown Hollywood. I swirled my margarita around in my glass and shook my head.