The Parasite: A Story
cried, but my heart turned cold asI said it.
"Gilroy," he answered, mumbling with his swollen lips, "I have for someweeks been under the impression that you are a madman. Now I know it,and that you are a dangerous one as well. If it were not that I amunwilling to make a scandal in the college, you would now be in thehands of the police."
"Do you mean----" I cried.
"I mean that as I opened the door last night you rushed out upon me,struck me with both your fists in the face, knocked me down, kicked mefuriously in the side, and left me lying almost unconscious in thestreet. Look at your own hand bearing witness against you."
Yes, there it was, puffed up, with sponge-like knuckles, as after someterrific blow. What could I do? Though he put me down as a madman, Imust tell him all. I sat by his bed and went over all my troubles fromthe beginning. I poured them out with quivering hands and burningwords which might have carried conviction to the most sceptical. "Shehates you and she hates me!" I cried. "She revenged herself last nighton both of us at once. She saw me leave the ball, and she must haveseen you also. She knew how long it would take you to reach home.Then she had but to use her wicked will. Ah, your bruised face is asmall thing beside my bruised soul!"
He was struck by my story. That was evident. "Yes, yes, she watchedme out of the room," he muttered. "She is capable of it. But is itpossible that she has really reduced you to this? What do you intendto do?"
"To stop it!" I cried. "I am perfectly desperate; I shall give herfair warning to-day, and the next time will be the last."
"Do nothing rash," said he.
"Rash!" I cried. "The only rash thing is that I should postpone itanother hour." With that I rushed to my room, and here I am on the eveof what may be the great crisis of my life. I shall start at once. Ihave gained one thing to-day, for I have made one man, at least,realize the truth of this monstrous experience of mine. And, if theworst should happen, this diary remains as a proof of the goad that hasdriven me.
Evening. When I came to Wilson's, I was shown up, and found that hewas sitting with Miss Penclosa. For half an hour I had to endure hisfussy talk about his recent research into the exact nature of thespiritualistic rap, while the creature and I sat in silence lookingacross the room at each other. I read a sinister amusement in hereyes, and she must have seen hatred and menace in mine. I had almostdespaired of having speech with her when he was called from the room,and we were left for a few moments together.
"Well, Professor Gilroy--or is it Mr. Gilroy?" said she, with thatbitter smile of hers. "How is your friend Mr. Charles Sadler after theball?"
"You fiend!" I cried. "You have come to the end of your tricks now. Iwill have no more of them. Listen to what I say." I strode across andshook her roughly by the shoulder "As sure as there is a God in heaven,I swear that if you try another of your deviltries upon me I will haveyour life for it. Come what may, I will have your life. I have cometo the end of what a man can endure."
"Accounts are not quite settled between us," said she, with a passionthat equalled my own. "I can love, and I can hate. You had yourchoice. You chose to spurn the first; now you must test the other. Itwill take a little more to break your spirit, I see, but broken itshall be. Miss Marden comes back to-morrow, as I understand."
"What has that to do with you?" I cried. "It is a pollution that youshould dare even to think of her. If I thought that you would harmher----"
She was frightened, I could see, though she tried to brazen it out.She read the black thought in my mind, and cowered away from me.
"She is fortunate in having such a champion," said she. "He actuallydares to threaten a lonely woman. I must really congratulate MissMarden upon her protector."
The words were bitter, but the voice and manner were more acid still.
"There is no use talking," said I. "I only came here to tell you,--andto tell you most solemnly,--that your next outrage upon me will be yourlast." With that, as I heard Wilson's step upon the stair, I walkedfrom the room. Ay, she may look venomous and deadly, but, for allthat, she is beginning to see now that she has as much to fear from meas I can have from her. Murder! It has an ugly sound. But you don'ttalk of murdering a snake or of murdering a tiger. Let her have a carenow.
May 5. I met Agatha and her mother at the station at eleven o'clock.She is looking so bright, so happy, so beautiful. And she was sooverjoyed to see me. What have I done to deserve such love? I wentback home with them, and we lunched together. All the troubles seem ina moment to have been shredded back from my life. She tells me that Iam looking pale and worried and ill. The dear child puts it down to myloneliness and the perfunctory attentions of a housekeeper. I praythat she may never know the truth! May the shadow, if shadow theremust be, lie ever black across my life and leave hers in the sunshine.I have just come back from them, feeling a new man. With her by myside I think that I could show a bold face to any thing which lifemight send.
5 P. M. Now, let me try to be accurate. Let me try to say exactly howit occurred. It is fresh in my mind, and I can set it down correctly,though it is not likely that the time will ever come when I shallforget the doings of to-day.
I had returned from the Mardens' after lunch, and was cutting somemicroscopic sections in my freezing microtome, when in an instant Ilost consciousness in the sudden hateful fashion which has become onlytoo familiar to me of late.
When my senses came back to me I was sitting in a small chamber, verydifferent from the one in which I had been working. It was cosey andbright, with chintz-covered settees, colored hangings, and a thousandpretty little trifles upon the wall. A small ornamental clock tickedin front of me, and the hands pointed to half-past three. It was allquite familiar to me, and yet I stared about for a moment in ahalf-dazed way until my eyes fell upon a cabinet photograph of myselfupon the top of the piano. On the other side stood one of Mrs. Marden.Then, of course, I remembered where I was. It was Agatha's boudoir.
But how came I there, and what did I want? A horrible sinking came tomy heart. Had I been sent here on some devilish errand? Had thaterrand already been done? Surely it must; otherwise, why should I beallowed to come back to consciousness? Oh, the agony of that moment!What had I done? I sprang to my feet in my despair, and as I did so asmall glass bottle fell from my knees on to the carpet.
It was unbroken, and I picked it up. Outside was written "SulphuricAcid. Fort." When I drew the round glass stopper, a thick fume roseslowly up, and a pungent, choking smell pervaded the room. Irecognized it as one which I kept for chemical testing in my chambers.But why had I brought a bottle of vitriol into Agatha's chamber? Wasit not this thick, reeking liquid with which jealous women had beenknown to mar the beauty of their rivals? My heart stood still as Iheld the bottle to the light. Thank God, it was full! No mischief hadbeen done as yet. But had Agatha come in a minute sooner, was it notcertain that the hellish parasite within me would have dashed the stuffinto her---- Ah, it will not bear to be thought of! But it must havebeen for that. Why else should I have brought it? At the thought ofwhat I might have done my worn nerves broke down, and I sat shiveringand twitching, the pitiable wreck of a man.
It was the sound of Agatha's voice and the rustle of her dress whichrestored me. I looked up, and saw her blue eyes, so full of tendernessand pity, gazing down at me.
"We must take you away to the country, Austin," she said. "You wantrest and quiet. You look wretchedly ill."
"Oh, it is nothing!" said I, trying to smile. "It was only a momentaryweakness. I am all right again now."
"I am so sorry to keep you waiting. Poor boy, you must have been herequite half an hour! The vicar was in the drawing-room, and, as I knewthat you did not care for him, I thought it better that Jane shouldshow you up here. I thought the man would never go!"
"Thank God he stayed! Thank God he stayed!" I cried hysterically.
"Why, what is the matter with you, Austin?" she asked, holding my armas I staggered u
p from the chair. "Why are you glad that the vicarstayed? And what is this little bottle in your hand?"
"Nothing," I cried, thrusting it into my pocket. "But I must go. Ihave something important to do."
"How stern you look, Austin! I have never seen your face like that.You are angry?"
"Yes, I am angry."
"But not with me?"
"No, no, my darling! You would not understand."
"But you have not told me why you came."
"I came to ask you whether you would always love me--no matter what Idid, or what shadow might fall on my name. Would you believe in me andtrust me however black appearances might be against