A Rogue of My Own

  “You don’t need to do that,” Flora said with a blush.

  “Oh,” Rebecca replied, understanding perfectly, and only a little uncomfortable with the subject of Flora’s many lovers, now that she’d had her own fall from grace. “Hmm, well, I hope you’re not going to miss him too terribly when we’re back at home.”

  Flora grinned. “He promised to visit—often.”

  “Very well then, we can even send someone back for our belongings, I suppose, if he can find us a coach tonight. I will need to explain my absence these past few days to Lady Sarah, though, and let her know why I’m leaving my position as maid of honor. I’ll go and do that now.”

  “You’re going to tell her the truth then?” Flora asked in surprise.

  “Goodness, no. That knowledge we will keep to ourselves. But I have a ready excuse for Sarah. Her intrigues, can’t bear to watch them anymore, et cetera. I’ll even tell her that I went home these last few days to convince Mama of my desire to relinquish this post for good.”

  “You’re going to do what?” Lilly Marshall said from the doorway.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  LILLY LOOKED WONDERFUL, BUT then she always did in the colder months when her cheeks retained a rosy glow from her daily rides. Rebecca, an excellent horsewoman, had learned from her mother and had always ridden with her early in the mornings before her classes began. She’d missed that in London. She’d missed her mother, too, terribly. Nearly two months without a visit!

  “Don’t tell me that I’ve bought a town house here in London for nothing,” Lilly said as she entered the room and gave Rebecca a long, tight hug. “Though I suppose we can still make use of it with the winter Season soon upon us. How are you, darling? You look a little pallid. You haven’t been sick, have you? Is that why you want to come home?”

  Rebecca barely managed to keep her mouth from dropping open. Obviously, her mother didn’t even know of her four-day absence. Which meant Lilly hadn’t been anguished and worried, and Rebecca had agonized over that for nothing. And her mother as she walked in probably hadn’t even heard more than the last few words Rebecca had been saying. That meant Rebecca could break the news to her gently….

  “She’s married, she’s having a baby, and she’ll tell you all about it on the way home.”

  “Flora!” Rebecca exclaimed.

  But Lilly admonished the maid with a stern look. “You’ve always had a rather tasteless sense of humor, Flora. But those aren’t subjects to joke about.”

  Rebecca quickly tried to change the subject. “When did you decide to buy a house in town? You didn’t mention it in your letters.”

  “I wanted to surprise you. I even came to London two days ago to finish the purchase, but there were some delays. Still wanting to make it a surprise, I resisted visiting you until the papers were signed, which didn’t happen until about an hour ago. That was difficult, worse than being at home and missing you,” Lilly added with a chuckle.

  “I wasn’t joking,” Flora interjected with a mumble from across the room.

  Both Marshall ladies glared at the maid now, then ignored her again. Rebecca reminded her mother, “But you said you weren’t going to actually buy a house here.”

  “I know, I was determined not to. I had to cut the strings, as it were, since I knew that you’d probably never live at home again, at least not for any length of time. But I finally couldn’t stand it any longer! So no matter where you end up living once you are married, we will not be so far away from each other again.”

  “I wasn’t joking,” the maid mumbled again.

  “Flora, stop it, please,” Rebecca said this time.

  Unfortunately, a little too much angst was in her tone for Lilly not to take notice. Her mother frowned in concern. “Is there something I should know about?” Lilly asked her directly.

  Rebecca couldn’t get the words out, could only stare at her mother. Her nervous stomach was back in spades.

  “I’m only trying to keep you from getting all edgy about it again,” Flora said as blithely as you please. “You don’t need any more upset like that adding to your morning sickness. You’ve had far too much already.”

  Lilly wasn’t stupid, and she was far too good with numbers not to add some up now and conclude in a hurt tone, “You got married the same week you arrived here? And didn’t tell me or invite me to the wedding?”

  Rebecca quickly assured her, “It wasn’t like that, Mama. I just got married this morning out in the Channel as we were returning from France.”

  “France?!”

  Rebecca winced. “You could say it was a wedding trip—of sorts.”

  But the rest was adding up now in Lilly’s mind and she said, “Oh, good God, I need to sit down.” But she didn’t, she was still standing there in shock when she added, “Who is he?”

  “Rupert St. John.”

  “Isn’t he—oh, my, that handsome boy of Julie’s? Well, that explains a bit, I suppose. He always did dazzle you whenever you saw him, didn’t he?”

  “Yes, until I got to know him,” Rebecca replied, then wished she’d kept that grumble to herself.

  Up went Lilly’s brow. “Something else is wrong aside from the fact that you had to get married?”

  “I suppose that the bride and groom hate each other could be considered a little something else,” Flora said.

  This time Lilly sat down. She started to say something, but changed her mind. She opened her mouth to start again, but again snapped it shut. Finally she burst out, “This sort of thing was never supposed to happen to you!” Then after giving herself a brief shake, she said, “Very well, as briefly as you can, please, so I can get beyond this sudden urge to go find a pistol.”

  Rebecca did keep it brief and tried not to leave anything out. She began at the beginning, explaining what Sarah Wheeler had tried to get her involved in and how that first meeting with Rupert had been somewhat amusing in retrospect, especially with them both making so many wrong assumptions. She admitted her fascination with him, despite his being such an obvious skirt-chaser. She even confessed that she’d agreed to help Mr. Jennings in his intrigues, and that’s what had led her to seek out Rupert where she shouldn’t have. But she spared nothing in the conclusion, repeating everything he had said and why.

  Rebecca actually felt wonderful when she finished, as if a mountain of weight on her shoulders had just crumbled to dust. She should have remembered how Lilly dealt with the good and the bad that life offered. Her mother never pouted, never held grudges. She could get as angry over something as anyone else could, but she rarely ever stewed about it, preferring a quick burst of emotion to get it out of her system, then she’d be back to her normal cheerful self. Rebecca really wished she could be like that. And she wished she’d gone to Lilly first, instead of following Flora’s advice—which had gotten her married.

  Lilly stood up when Rebecca had finished and even smiled. It might not have been a wholehearted smile, but it was definitely a determined one.

  “Very well,” she said. “There is no need to rush home to Norford. I have a room for you at my hotel. I thought you might enjoy a break from the palace to go shopping with me to furnish the new house, but consider it a break from thinking about this sad situation instead. We’ll have a nice reunion. We’ll have some fun. And then you can decide what you want to do. So you can forget about your husband’s silly dictates, which are quite irrelevant because they are based on his false analysis instead of the truth. So what do you say, darling? Shall we go have a nice dinner in London? And, well, you can’t, but I feel like getting a little foxed while we’re at it.”

  Chapter Thirty-six

  REBECCA WASN’T THE LEAST bit nervous when she arrived at Rupert’s house this time. Lilly had offered to go with her, but Rebecca didn’t want her mother to witness how sarcastic and insulting Rupert could be—or how she could stoop to the same level once he provoked her. She’d made the decision to go to Rupert herself. She might have made it in anger, but she
was certain it was the right decision. It didn’t matter how much she loathed the idea, or how much Rupert was bound to object. Their baby had to come first.

  Besides, her mother had fully agreed with her and had even put the original idea in her head when she’d warned, “Don’t let him get comfortable with this annulment idea when it isn’t going to happen.”

  The same butler she’d dealt with before opened the door to her. Since her mother’s driver was already lifting down one of her smaller trunks from the coach, the man should have displayed at least a little surprise or curiosity, but he masked his feelings well.

  “I’m Rebecca St. John and I’ve come to stay,” she explained. “So if you will send a footman out to help with my trunks, I would appreciate it. Please direct me to the marquis.”

  It took the butler a moment to reply. His eyes even flared briefly. He probably felt he should have been warned of her arrival and rightly so—but no one in the house knew about it.

  “The marquis is unavailable,” he replied inscrutably.

  “Still sleeping at this hour?” she guessed.

  “No, Lady Rebecca, he left quite early this morning. It was barely dawn. He took a small valise with him, so he may not return today. He did say as much.”

  She certainly wasn’t expecting that news. She was ready for a blistering fight, and he wasn’t there to have it. “May I speak with his mother?”

  “Of course, follow me.”

  The butler didn’t go far, stopping at the door to the dining room to announce loftily, “Lady St. John has arrived, madam.”

  Rebecca heard a testy tone, from inside the room. “Are you blind, Charles? I’m sitting right here.”

  “The new Lady St. John,” he corrected.

  Rebecca had a feeling Charles took some pleasure in being able to render the lady of the house speechless. But since he wouldn’t be able to answer any questions Julie St. John might direct to him, Rebecca stepped around him and into the room.

  “I am the new lady in question, previously Rebecca Marshall of the Norford Marshalls. As it happens, my family home is just down the road from your brother’s estate, so you may know—”

  “Lilly Marshall’s girl?” Julie cut in.

  “Yes, and presently—your daughter-in-law.”

  The older woman should have been bowled over, but Julie St. John did no more than set down her fork to ask in a somewhat aggrieved tone, “Which one married you?”

  “Your eldest. It was a brief ceremony performed at sea just last week.”

  A big smile formed on her mother-in-law’s face, shocking Rebecca. “I must say, girl, you have succeeded where all others have failed. I commend you!”

  “You aren’t angry?”

  “Good God, no, I’m delighted. I even knew both of your parents. They were the best of friends as I’m sure you’ve been told, so it was no surprise to anyone when they married. I’d already left home by then, but I heard the earl built that manor house just for Lilly, since it was close to her family home. Thought that was rather romantic of him when my brother mentioned it on one of my visits home. Damned inconvenient to live most of your life in an entailed house and to lose it when your husband passes on. At least that didn’t happen to your mother.”

  Rebecca barely managed to steel her expression at the older woman’s grumbling. She knew exactly what Julie was complaining about. She had assumed that Rupert was still living with his mother and had even mentioned it to Lilly this week.

  “You have that backwards,” Lilly had told her. “Julie still lives with him. He gained all of the marquis’s properties along with the title when his father died.”

  Rebecca didn’t miss that Julie had gone off on a different subject. Didn’t the woman want to know why Rupert hadn’t told her that he’d married?

  Carefully Rebecca said, “I am pleased that you find me a suitable wife for your son, but I should warn you that he doesn’t feel the same way. I am not here at his invitation, I am barging in, as it were.”

  “You two are fighting already?” Julie guessed. “Well that doesn’t bode well, but it explains why he failed to mention this monumental event to me. I still find it incredible. I fully expected both of my younger boys to marry long before Rue got around to it.”

  “It’s more than just a fight, Lady Julie. Rupert intends to have our marriage annulled.”

  The lady frowned. “I think I could have done without knowing that just yet. So I’m not going to get any grandchildren?”

  “You are—at least one,” Rebecca said with a shy smile.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG for Rupert to realize how much easier it was for him to think about Rebecca in a logical manner when she wasn’t around to confound and provoke him. After returning her to Buckingham Palace and promptly going home himself, he barely had two days of respite before that speck of doubt Rebecca had planted in his mind began to grow and he had to acknowledge the life-changing consequences of her bearing his child.

  How the deuce would they explain to people their decision to live apart in these early months if they had to stay married? But that would only be a problem if Rebecca really was enceinte, and that hadn’t been proved yet.

  It took another few days for Rupert to start thinking about the baby as real rather than a product of Rebecca’s scheming. He even began to imagine what his baby would look like. That was a mistake. No sooner had he put a face to this child who probably didn’t even exist than he was beset with a powerful emotion he couldn’t quite describe, or shake off. Their child—no, it was his. Dammit, no, it really was theirs—if it was real.

  He got good and foxed to try to stop thinking about the baby and Rebecca, but the notion that had got into his head didn’t go away. He was going to have to fetch Rebecca back to London. After all, he couldn’t trust her not to do something foolish. Did she even know what precautions to take? Did she realize that some things that were perfectly fine for her to do under normal circumstances could be a danger to an unborn baby?

  Rupert simply packed a small valise in case he ran into bad weather along the way and rode straight to Norford to bring her home with him.

  Their living in the same household wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, but it would be the only way he could monitor her activities to keep them appropriate for an expectant mother. They could come up with a simple reason to be staying in the same household that had nothing to do with marriage. Their mothers came from the same neighborhood, after all, and with November coming to an end in just a few days, the long winter Season was already upon them. Julie could let it be known that she was sponsoring Rebecca for the Season. It was as simple as that.

  He rode hard all the way to Norford, surprising even himself at how quickly the distance could be traversed when he wasn’t making the journey with his mother in her slow, plodding coach. The anxiety he was experiencing about getting his unborn child under his protection in no way resembled any eagerness to see Rebecca again. At least he assured himself of that a half dozen times on that long ride. But the unexpected disappointment he felt when he didn’t find her at home was partly responsible for the anger he felt as he rode back to London.

  He had told her to go home. Did she really think she could still do as she pleased? She had deliberately defied him. Since she wasn’t really pregnant, she had obviously decided to keep her post at the palace. He’d be damned if he was going to go there to have it out with her, since that was an argument guaranteed to get loud and there were far too many eavesdroppers and gossips in the palace.

  When he stepped through the front door of his house, he was too shocked at seeing her walk out of his parlor to react immediately. He stared at her hard. He was relieved that she was all right and no longer missing. But the anger he’d ridden home with hadn’t dissipated, and soon he was scowling at her. She didn’t exactly look cowed by his expression. Did her eyes reveal some anger of her own? Damn, she did look fetching in that lavender gown—her waist as thin
as ever…

  “Is there a reason why you are here?” he finally demanded.

  With complete nonchalance she replied, “Well, I’ve brought my trunks. I do believe I’m moving in.”

  “The hell you are!”

  “Nice of you to welcome me in your usual boorish manner” was all she said to that.

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. It made not a jot of difference that he’d just gone to Norford and back this morning to bring her here himself. That had been his idea. Her coming here on her own was her idea, and it made him suspicious.

  “Don’t start your manipulations already,” he warned her. “Answer my question.”

  “Why am I here? Shall we start with the obvious reason? Because I really am pregnant and once my pregnancy starts to show, I do not want to be in a position to have people ask me who my husband is and not believe me when I tell them that it’s you.”

  “And the not-so-obvious answer?”

  “Because you make me so furious that I spite myself to spite you!”

  “You won’t force my hand just by showing up here uninvited, I promise you won’t. I admit to a small measure of doubt, but if you try to make this marriage a reality before the baby becomes a reality—”

  “We aren’t rehashing this again. Your mother knows, my mother knows, and that, if you aren’t smart enough to figure it out, makes us married for real. I told you I didn’t want to marry you, but if you’ll recall, you insisted, so now you live with it. All I want is for my baby to be legitimate, and now it will be. So spread your lies that I took advantage of you if you must. How did you put it? That I seduced you? I don’t care at this point.”

  With as much patience as he could muster where she was concerned, he asked, “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Because I’m not lying. I haven’t lied to you since the night I told you I was looking for a scarf for Sarah.”