Just a Dream

floor in front of him. He started to laugh a loud embarrassing, almost guttural laugh. He seemed to laugh for hours before tiring and rolling over on his side to see his friend staring blankly at the floor.

  “What’s wrong, Doc?” He followed a path from Daniel’s eyes to their focal point to the left of him. He was afraid he had noticed an old stain on the carpet. It was a small wallet-sized picture of Nathan’s mother, Sandy, that had somehow dropped. The picture was an older one that Nathan hadn’t seen a copy of in years. Her hair hadn’t been that color in at least a decade. He glanced back at Daniel who was tearing up. It took Nathan a few still seconds to piece things together. He sat up against the coffee table, clasped his hands together and just rested with his realization. “How could you?”

  “I don’t know.” Daniel answered solemnly. He began rubbing his face again, this time more furiously. Nathan again tried to make sense of what he was feeling. It was a violation, it was completely disgusting and it was very hurtful. It seemed unnatural that a man so attractive, a man who had displayed such kindness with him, should get to parade his charm in front of him only to reveal such a horrid betrayal. This same man had analyzed his innermost feelings, and found it acceptable to molest them further. The effects of the mystery drug were accelerating now in conjunction with a growing, lustful anger. Nathan quickly jumped to his feet and darted toward the kitchen.

  Once in the kitchen he paused, trying to understand what he was doing in this rage, nothing was made quite clear but the feeling that Daniel must be hurt badly, he had caused Nathan such extreme pain and embarrassment in those few seconds that it could only be justified by total ruin, by blood. He grabbed a large kitchen knife from a wooden holder wrapped it in a hand towel and put it in his pocket, then headed back towards the living room to see what his unwelcome guest was up to.

  He had disappeared. Nathan went outside and scanned the area around the house. He could hardly see, but he could hear shuffling in the grass ahead of him, so he followed it. As he forged ahead he thought of his mother and the man he had just kissed in a warm embrace. It was beyond despicable. Daniel must have been using him to get closer to his mother. It was the only logical explanation. Why else would he show up there so late at night without calling?

  How dare he come in and take what he wants, tell me I’m crazy, flirt with me, tease me, give me drugs, all while dreaming about my very own mother! Sick bastard needs a lesson. And I will give it to him. For once in my life I will get revenge on a prick that has done me wrong. Tonight’s the night, tonight is when it all changes. Forever changed.

  “Nathan!” said a woman’s voice. He stopped in his tracks, expecting a neighbor to come out of the darkness to talk to him, but he couldn’t see anyone or anything. He kept going, deciding that that rat Daniel must be up in the hills behind the house. He was worried about who it was calling him, but not worried enough to stop his search.

  He was getting deeper and deeper into the forest and finally decided to stop. He was far up enough in the hills that the stars in the sky had brightened. Had he passed him? Then he heard a busy rustling again.

  “There you are. I’m glad you found me. I had just remembered there was supposed to be a meteorite shower tonight, came up here to get a better view.” He had found Daniel amongst the trees, but was suddenly unable to perform the desired task. He walked over to where Daniel stood.

  “You could have had the decency to tell me you were leaving,” He muttered.

  “I could have, but it’s more fun this way,” Daniel scratched his chin quizzically, as though his statement was a riddle. He was still a bit drunk.

  The two men then sat on the cold, damp ground and stared up at the sky waiting for something to happen, not speaking. Nathan’s thinking had cleared a bit and he was beginning to wonder if he had reacted too brashly, his mother could be a very manipulative person, and she was the one who was cheating, not Daniel.

  It’s those drugs. I’m not a bad person. It’s those drugs.

  “What exactly was in those little white pills we took?” Daniel stared silently as he did so well, avoiding the question completely.

  “I can’t wait for this meteorite shower, it’s been so long since I’ve seen one, I used to want to be an astronomer,” he finally answered. Nathan wondered why it had to be this way, why someone so amazing and beautiful and perfect, someone who had been given to him on a silver platter, had to be the one who had done something awful like that.

  “How can you be such a free spirit partier and expect to be taken seriously as a psychologist?” Nathan wanted to be indulged in his presence for a while longer. The torture of it was he wanted to know more about this increasingly twisted, beautiful being, despite the obvious betrayal.

  “I’ve managed to keep the two worlds separate,” Daniel whispered

  What a liar

  Nathan was half way between wanting to cut him and wanting to relive that kiss they shared in the living room.

  “I was just so hung up on this woman,” Daniel started in with his face rubbing again. Had he played poker, this would have been his big tell. “It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever loved a woman my own age. She was such a trip, you don’t even know.”

  “Why are you referring to her as ‘this woman’?” Daniel continued to ignore Nathan’s questions. They were either not important or too revealing, Nathan decided.

  “The sex was incredible, I have to say. We were like magnets.”

  Nathan could feel the anger immediately rise up in him again, and this time it would not subside. It was an uncontrollable sort of rage that would not respond to reason. It was primal, and there was only one way to pacify it.

  This was it, no conscious thought, just the cool burn of adrenaline guiding him toward his one goal. He plunged his knife into Daniel’s left side. He paused, watching the man’s reaction to his attack. Daniel kept still for a second and then slowly brought his hands to his side and opened his mouth posed to speak, but said nothing, only frowned, exhaled shakily, clearly in shock. Nathan instantly felt powerful, and a kind of contentedness displaced his latent anxieties. The contentedness grew into pure joy, like nothing he had felt before. This, this was the kind of happiness he had been waiting for all his miserable life. This was the ecstasy people wrote about, this was much better than that kiss. This was real justice. It was an act of God. He was God. He took hold of the knife, pulling it out of the man’s side, seeing the dark fluid expand from its point of origin over a pristine white button-down. He then stabbed Daniel again, this time in the chest, hitting bone and adding to his sense of accomplishment. Daniel slumped over, his eyes flickering like sparklers. Nathan looked up to the sky just in time to see the shooting stars skimming the black and blue sky. The bright flames streamed in an arch in front of an observant parish of stationary stars, waiting, failing to hide from him in the darkness of the night. His eyes traced the glowing stars down to the trunk of a nearby pine and then planted his gaze on the man he had just released from the world.

  He drew upon his methodical nature and didn’t waste any time being shocked. He dashed back to the house to retrieve a shovel. He still felt high from the kill then and didn’t let physical fatigue impede him. He saw Daniel’s bike sitting out by the front stoop, and clumsily kicked it down so it wouldn’t catch any eyes, planning to come back to it later, he continued in an exhaustive half jog back to the place where Daniel’s limp body lie, and began digging into the soaked earth. He was not an especially strong man, but he was a determined one, and he was on top of the world. In less than an hour he had managed to dig a hole that could contain Daniel’s bloody corpse. Before putting the body in the ground, he stood, covered in sweat and filled with awe at what he had done, it was like a masterpiece; Daniel’s body looked just as it did in life, but was made more beautiful to Nathan by its wounds.

  I need to cover up this dog, no one will find him, no one will know.

  When the body had been covered, it was nearly six o
’clock. The sun was rising, bleeding bright reds and oranges in to the spaces between branches. Nathan was genuinely tired. He trekked back to the house, feeling numb and exhausted, but with a lingering sense of pride at his achievements, he was happy. Fear and remorse were of no consequence at that hour, only the bliss of having been in control and experiencing triumph over one’s enemy. Once he reached the house he collapsed on the sofa and fell right to sleep, peaceful, childlike.

 

  Nathan was again awoken by a knock at the front door. He grudgingly opened his eyes. He had slept late, he was back in his bed, and judging by the light it was almost noon.

  Then the fear set in. Unlike other times, he could vividly remember all details of this nightmare. What a horrible dream. He felt such relief at knowing that he was back to reality. There would be no guilt, no punishment for such a heinous act. He heard another knock at the door. He knew that his car was parked out front, so there was no pretending to be gone, he would have to answer it and deal with a Jehovah’s Witness, or whoever. He walked toward the door and peered out of the peephole. It was his mother, of course.

  A million sparks bounced back and forth in the space between his ears as he thought of things he might say to her.