Noahs Nuclear Niche

  ***

  Scene Five: (patio of Deloris's garden Melissa enters)

  Melissa: Dad are you out here (Albert enters with a handful of flowers, he is gardening)

  Albert: Here I am Melissa I'm a bit confused on this point. When you weed flowers do you pull out the flowers or the weeds?

  Melissa: You didn't go to the court today.

  Albert: I told you I've been weeding the flowers.

  Melissa: I can see.

  Albert: It was my solicitor's wig I couldn't find it. I was going to wear one of your mother's wigs but it didn't look right.

  (he suddenly pops on a woman's wig)

  Melissa: You didn't go because you were afraid.

  Albert: Me, afraid? A coward yes, afraid no. What happened to Daisy Bell?

  Melissa: Big Red arrived on a white horse and whisked her away.

  Big Red: (rushes in) Melissa!

  Melissa: Red! (they embrace)

  Big Red: Melissa, we're going away. I've got a car waiting outside.

  Melissa: What about Daisy?

  Big Red: I can't leave her behind.

  Melissa: I don't like cattle.

  Big Red: When you look into my big brown eyes how can you say that?

  Melissa: I'm a city person Red, maybe it's best if we parted.

  Big Red: Melissa, I can't hang about, I've got to get out of town before dark.

  Melissa: Good luck Red.

  Big Red: I've got to go. I'll send you a postcard.

  Albert: Red I would just like to say…

  Big Red: Bye

  (Big Red exits)

  Melissa: In the country Daisy and I would have had a battle royal, it's settled now. And besides there are still plenty of causes to fight for here in the city and Stud wants to help me fight them.

  (Stud enters)

  Stud: Have they gone?

  Melissa: Afraid so.

  Albert: Welcome Stud.

  Stud: Yeah good, hi.

  Albert: How about something to eat? I've cooked a roast. I can't cook but when you're hungry…

  (Deloris enters carrying two suitcases, a hat and coat)

  Deloris: Albert don't stand there gaping like a stuffed orangutan take these cases off of me.

  Albert: Deloris you've come home.

  Deloris: I've missed you Albert, I haven't had any one to nag for a week.

  Melissa: Hello mother.

  Deloris: Oh Melissa I've decided that you were right after all.

  Melissa: About what?

  Deloris: Oh I don't know, everything.

  Stud: Yeah good, hi.

  Deloris: Oh hello Stodge.

  Albert: You're just in time for dinner. Burnt roast and claggy potatoes, let's all go in and we can decide whether to eat the dinner or cremate it.

  (Freddy and Clara rush in)

  Freddy: What's happened?

  Clara: Yes, what's happened?

  Melissa: Big Red rode in on his white horse and whisked Daisy away.

  Clara: Thank God. Once you know people it's very hard to be prejudice against them.

  Freddy: Clara I could hug you!

  Clara: Sounds good to me.

  Albert: We are about to have some dinner would you like to join us.

  Freddy: Can we postpone that hug Clara dinner sounds great.