The Long Way Home

  Chapter 15

  May 1984

  Simon stood on a rock shelf beside the ocean. The waves rolled by in front of him before crashing gently on the long strip of sandy beach to his left. It was late afternoon, the kind of afternoon where the sun has second thoughts about setting and lingers late into the cool of the evening. The moon had already appeared over the ocean, eager to embrace the dark of the night, but for now they sat at opposite ends of the room staring curiously at each other. Sun and moon and sky.

  Simon looked down at his hands, feeling a strange sensation as he realised he had floated up out of his body and could now see himself standing there on the rocks below, examining his own hands. He was dressed in a white robe tied at the front with a silver sash, the ends of which hung neatly by his side. On his feet he wore sandals of silver, protruding from beneath the robe that ended well past his knees.

  Beside him on the rocks a lady appeared dressed the same way. She walked to his side and took his hand in hers. Simon was shocked to realise that although he could easily recognise himself, his appearance was the same as a grown man. It was like looking into his future and seeing how he was going to look when he grew up!

  He saw himself look across at the lady who was standing with him and recognised that she was in fact Nanna Small. She didn’t look old like in the photographs he had seen of her, in fact she looked young like Simon’s mother. Looking down on this meeting felt quite simply, bizarre. He could sense himself standing beside her, holding her hand, feeling close to her. It felt like being in two different places at once! The strangest thing was he had never met her. Nanna had passed away before he was born, yet there was no mistaking the feeling of knowing who she was and how much Simon meant to her. As far back as Simon could remember his Poppy had always lived alone. At least up until last year when he had moved into Simon’s Dad and Uncle Barry’s new house. Come to think of it, Poppy always seemed sad, even when Simon made him laugh. Simon could feel Poppy’s hurt and loss pressing down on his heart, the reason Poppy was sad on the inside he realised was simple, he still missed Nanna. Nanna gently kissed his forehead and the feeling went away. She let go of his hand and stepped to the side.

  Two other figures appeared at his side dressed in the same white robes kissing and hugging him tightly. When they finished embracing him and took a step back, Simon could see that they were in fact his Grandma and Grandpa Hardwick. They too looked much younger than when he had last seen them, yet as with Nanna there was no mistaking who they were. Grandma stood there facing him while holding both his hands in hers. Like Nanna she simply smiled warmly at him without speaking. Then letting go of Simon’s hands she reached behind her neck, unfastened the necklace she was wearing and proceeded to place it around Simon’s neck. It was a beautiful silver necklace with a small yet intricate pendant of a crucifix dangling over Simon’s chest. Simon held it gently in one hand watching the silver pendant sparkle in the late afternoon sun. When he looked up, he realised that he was no longer watching over this dreamlike scene from above but was standing firmly on the rocks again. His Grandma and Grandpa kissed him warmly on the cheek one last fleeting time before stepping back across the rocks to where Nanna was standing.

  Simon looked up and watched as the three of them turned and looked away from the beach, beyond where the rock shelf fell away into the sea to where the ocean was in due course swallowed by the horizon. He watched as the sky turned brighter than the sun until his eyes were left bathed in pure light, the landscape seemed to disappear as though the sky itself was peeled back. Stepping down from what seemed like a staircase made of clouds was a man with long flowing hair and a short, neat beard dressed in a splendid white and gold gown that came all the way to his feet. He walked towards Simon with arms outstretched. As he passed his Nanna, Grandma and Grandpa they each would drop to their knees, gently reaching out to touch him as he stopped to lay his hand over each of their own. Simon felt an immense feeling of shame wash over him as the man approached, eventually it became so difficult to ignore that he could no longer look at the man but stare at the rocks in front of him.

  A pair of feet appeared in front of his. Simon felt a hand under his chin gently bringing his head up so that he had no choice but to look at him. He looked at his face, a face unlike no other man he had ever seen and felt a rush pass through his body, immediately the feeling of shame left him and his heart felt lightened. A smile spread across both of their faces. The man put his arm around Simon’s shoulder and turned him around to face back toward the beach.

  The two of them walked a short distance over the rocks without saying a word. Simon noticed that the beach was now crowded, the sun still hung in the late afternoon but instead of people going home they were still arriving by the car load. They stopped where the rock shelf fell away a short distance to the beach below and the man gestured toward the scene in front of them. People were lined up at the water’s edge, waves gently lapping against their knees as one by one they waded out waist deep into the small waves, some of them still wearing their clothes. There someone would lunge them under the water before they would return to the shore, only for another to wade out and have the scene repeated again. Simon could see a small group of people at the water’s edge waving to him. He looked closer and could see his Dad, he was soaked from head to toe still wearing his shirt and trousers. Standing behind him was his Poppy and Uncle Barry with some lady that he didn’t know clinging on to his arm. He could see Aunty Gail, Uncle Tim, Justin and Lynnie. Mr and Mrs Braddley from across the street, his friend Brian along with his entire family and a man he didn’t know dressed in a pair of railway overalls holding a Gladstone work bag. Simon looked amongst the crowd but couldn’t see any sign of his mother.

  The man gently pressed against the small of Simon’s back and Simon stepped forward. He turned to look at the man again who still smiled warmly at him but was now motioning him in the direction of his father and family on the shore of the beach. The man reached forward and squeezed Simon’s shoulder gently, smiling warmly one last time before turning and walking back towards his Nanna, Grandma and Grandpa. They stood for a moment and waved to Simon before turning and following the man toward the staircase made of clouds. Simon stared beyond the top of the staircase into the near blinding light and could see what looked like people stretched out as far as the eye could see, only they had wings.

  “Simon.” A distant voice called to him, briefly startling him as he had not heard any one speak for such a long time. “Simon?” The voice called for him again and this time he recognised the voice as his Dad’s, calling him from the shore.

  He turned and began scurrying down the rocks toward the soft sand of the beach. He could hear noises now, a crowd of people hurriedly talking, heavy footsteps, a sound of cutlery clinking together, a machine beeping frantically somewhere in the background. Weird sounds for the beach but somehow he got the sense that he should hurry. Down the rocks he scampered as fast as his little legs would carry him, pendant swinging wildly from side to side around his neck and then he stopped. ‘Little?’

  He looked down at his body. He had just started to get used to the idea of seeing himself as a grown up that it surprised him to see the childhood version standing in its place once more. He was no longer dressed in the white robe with the silver sash. He had his normal school shoes on his feet and was dressed only in his drab grey school uniform. He stopped to quickly examine the crucifix pendant that dangled from the chain around his neck. The tiny pendant continued to sparkle in his hand while everything else from this dreamlike moment had reverted back to the way it once was. He looked closely at the tiny figure of a man hung upon the cross and the realisation of what had transpired sunk in.

  He spun around hoping to catch a last glimpse of the man ascending the cloud staircase but he was gone, so too was his Nanna, Grandma and Grandpa! Instead, storm clouds had gathered overhead while on the horizon, lightning flashed menacingly as it lit up the sky. Directly in front of him, a
huge, sickly pale cloud had formed where the cloud staircase once had been. Lightning flashed all around it followed by a sickening roll of thunder that reverberated through the cavity of his chest. Then in the middle of the cloud appeared an apparition of the crucifix pendant that Simon still held in his hand. On it, nailed crudely to the cross was the man that had just walked Simon safely across the rocks to where he could step down onto the beach. Except now Simon understood who he was. He was Jesus!

  Simon turned away in horror, racing over the last few rocks to the beach below and leapt onto the soft sand….