Surrender

Page 10

“Ms. Harlow, thank you for coming down so quickly. I’m sorry if we’ve upset you but there’s news of your mother and we needed you to come right away. It’s great news, actually. She woke up. ”

It took a few moments for the nurse’s words to register. Her mother was awake. She was out of the coma. Ari felt blackness trying to overtake her vision as she gazed in shock at the woman in front of her. There was no way she could pass out. She fought it with all she had.

Exhausted both physically and mentally, the unexpected news was almost too much for her to handle. She wouldn’t believe them until she actually saw her mom; she needed to hear her voice more than anything in that moment. No one else could comfort her like her mother – she needed the woman who’d always been there through the good and the bad.

Ari finally fully understood why she was breaking apart so much. She’d been trying to do all of this without her mom. Never before had she realized how much she’d always leaned on her – never before she’d lost her and then found her again.

“Please. Where is she?” Ari asked breathlessly, the words barely making it past her throat.

“Right this way. ”

The woman turned and started leading Ari down a maze of hallways, which led to the intensive care unit. When they reached her mother’s door, Ari suddenly found herself afraid to turn the handle.

The thought crossed her mind that she'd get her hopes up, and then open the door and it would all be a cruel joke. She’d have to deal with the pain all over again of losing the most important person in her life.

“Take a few moments if you’d like before you go inside,” the nurse offered before leaving Ari to sort through her overwhelming emotions.

With a deep steadying breath, Ari pushed open the door and stepped inside. She found her mother sitting up in bed, looking extremely frail, but her beautiful green eyes were open. Ari blinked just to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“Mom?”

“Ari! Come sit with me,” her mom responded quickly as a smile lit up her pale face. Ari needed no other encouragement. She rapidly moved to her bedside and bent down to feel her mother's warm arms wrap around her once again, relishing in the contentment of a loving embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much, Mom. I’m sorry I called you that night. I’m so sorry you got in an accident,” Ari sobbed as her mom rubbed her back in comfort.

“Oh, Ari. You can’t blame yourself. Bad things happen to all of us. This isn’t your fault. ”

“Yes it is. If I hadn’t gone to that party and gotten drunk. If only I’d never called you, then you wouldn’t have been out there,” Ari sobbed.

“The doctors tell me I’ve been in a coma for six months. That’s a long time you’ve been carrying this heavy guilt around. No matter what happens to me, I want you to live your life to the fullest. You finish school and you go on. This was in no way your fault. ”

“You have to say that, Mom. It’s in the parent’s handbook or something, but I’m twenty-three, not fifteen. I should’ve been more responsible. ”

“No matter how old you become, you’ll always be my little girl. I would be upset if you got in trouble and didn’t call me. I was worried about you that night, but also happy to see you having a bit of fun. Life will pass you by before you know it if you don’t give yourself some room for a few mistakes. You have to have fun, do stuff that’s not planned to the very last detail. You have to live. ”

“I don’t know how,” Ari said, unsure this was even her mother.

“Oh, baby, you’ve always done what is right. You have to allow yourself to make a mistake now and then. Sometimes in our lives, the best results come from us making the worst mistakes. We don’t know why anything happens. You can’t blame yourself for me getting in that accident. It may be the thing that saves my life. You never know the reason behind it. Maybe if I’d been home the next week, a burglar would’ve come in and shot me, or what if I was driving to the store and a child dashed in front of my car, and I killed him? We can’t agonize over what has happened – we can only be thankful it wasn’t worse. ”

“I needed you so much these last months, Mom. No one can make me feel better. Please, I’m begging you, please don’t leave me. No matter what it takes, don’t go. I love you. ”

Ari flung herself into her mother’s frail arms, vowing that she was never going to let go again. She could get through anything as long as she had her mom there beside her.