A Tale Of Choice
HOW DO YOU get used to war, if that is possible? The sun rises in the sky like any normal day. The routines of life continue. The land remains, at least for a while. Then, the smell of smoke drifts on the wind. Distant booming can be heard in the air as the ground trembles.
Shelly awoke with a start. What was that?
The morning sun was rising for another day, yet this day seemed different, somehow. She lay in her bed, her good arm around Faith, watching the light filter through the trees outside, into the room. A sense of anxiety in her heart came to life. She didn’t know why. It lived and wouldn’t die.
She looked down at the child sleeping in comfort and security next to her. Then she looked at Tom in the bed across the room, sleeping soundly, innocently.
Dear Lord, please keep them safe, she asked Him.
She gently and quietly left the comfort of her bed. Shelly smiled a maternal smile, one of love and devotion. Well, as long as they’re with me, I’ll take care of them as if they are my own, she thought resolutely.
She dressed, glanced once more at the sleeping children, and then walked into the reception room. No patients remained. They were either in the wards or the new graveyard outside. She exhaled with the sadness of it. She could see Benjamin and another man standing in the doorway of the clinic looking outside.
When he heard her approaching, Benjamin turned toward her, with an apprehensive look on his face. “Good morning Mrs. Ferguson,” he said softly. She saw unease on his face as plain as the sun rising in the sky outside.
“Is something wrong?” she asked with concern.
“No… not really… I mean, we’re not sure. We can hear thunder, but there isn’t a cloud in the sky,” he whispered softly. “I think the war is drawing near,” he added, trying to be courageous.
The man standing at the door turned to look at them. He was of African descent, in his early thirty’s, tall, good-looking with kind, intelligent, tired eyes. Dressed in a blood-stained, blue hospital gown, he held a surgical cap and mask in his hands.
“This is Dr. Nathan Emery, Mrs. Ferguson. We’ve just gotten out of surgery on a small child with shrapnel wounds,” Benjamin stated.
“How do you do, Doctor,” she said softly, as she extended her good hand and shook his strong one.
“I’m glad to meet you, Mrs. Ferguson. Are you from America?” he asked in excellent English.
“Yes, my husband and I had come to Africa for our 10th wedding anniversary. We got separated in Mombasa about five days ago,” she said with a lump in her throat. There wasn’t any reason to burden this man with her troubles, so she said nothing more. He looked exhausted and seemed to have enough on his hands already.
“I’m so sorry,” he looked sincere in his regret. “How do you plan on finding him?” he inquired.
“I was hoping to get the children and myself to the American Embassy in Nairobi to get assistance,” she replied.
“I wish we could help, but we are essentially stranded here. Some of our workers ran off with the vehicles. We now have neither transport, a working phone or a way to summon help. Without transport we can’t leave, especially with the ill and wounded. We are still hoping the bus will return for us, but each day that passes seems to make it a more unlikely event,” he finished sadly.
“Oh,” was her reply. “Isn’t there a way some of us could walk out of here?” she asked hopefully.
“We wouldn’t know which way to go,” Benjamin explained. “The Maasai have gone. They had runners that were scouting for the village that might have helped us, but no one has been here with news since we arrived yesterday. We know some of the surrounding towns have been destroyed, but we have no idea what is happening or where.”
Shelly stood there looking out the door, as the two men turned and resumed their vigil. What was she going to do now? It frightened her to realize that they were stranded on a temporary oasis, in a rising sea of war. Even if she left with the children, could they get through? Where could they go? And if they stayed here would they be safe? There was no way of knowing. It was dangerous to leave, and dangerous to stay.
Shelly ached for wisdom, as she prayed to the Lord whom she had opened her heart to, yesterday. Now that she had committed herself to follow in the steps of Jesus, she would trust Him, for His provision, and care.
How strange it was, but when she looked back on her journey here, with her new spiritual eyes, she saw many ways she had been protected and cared for by Him. There wasn’t any other explanation for the lion walking under her tree the first night, or the prompting to take the footbridge over the river which kept her from the armed men at the bridge. It was miraculous how He had led her with soft directing down the dusty road to rescue the children, and how He had provided His strength, guiding hand, and protection crossing that abyss on that railroad trestle. Then there was the provision of rescue from the battlefield in the form of Benjamin and the Maasai. She was sure there were many other ways He had taken care of her that she hadn’t noticed. How grateful she was now for her new found faith in God.
From her heart she talked to Him, What an amazing God you are. You’re not simple, but complex and infinite, easy to love and yet hard to understand, at times. My thoughts don’t match your thoughts and ways of looking at life here at all, but I want them to. I want to have the faith that is required to follow you, my Lord.
I am scared for Jim and what may happen to us. I want to find him safe and be with him again. A tear slide down her face, as she continued, And I want the children to be safe, if that’s possible, Lord. Please keep us all safe. But if something should happen to any of us, please grant me the strength to go on, if I’m still here. Please, let me be a light in this dark world as long as possible and allow me to give your love wherever I can, Lord. Please protect those we both love, Lord. Thank you for what you have done and will do. Amen.
Shelly’s spirit was at peace, even though she couldn’t help fearing in her physical body. No one wants to get hurt, or see others harmed, let alone die, but she could see further down her life road now. She saw another life promised to her at its end and she wanted the faith to keep that hope alive.
Dr. Emery leaned on the door jam and closed his eyes in fatigue for a second or two.
“I need some sleep, Benjamin. I can’t feel my feet and I’m so exhausted. If gunmen arrive, just leave me. I don’t have the strength to run, even if I wanted to,” he said half-jokingly. “And you better get some rest as well… soon.”
“I will. I want to check in on our mystery woman and then my wife, in that order,” he told the doctor.
“With that last surgery, she may come out of her coma. At least I hope so. Wake me if you think I’m needed,” the doctor said. “Maybe she can tell us who she is and what happened to her,” he continued through a large yawn.
“I’ll look in on her right away.” Benjamin offered.
The American and the nurse practitioner stood at the doorway watching the exhausted doctor walk across the compound in the early morning haze, into the sleeping quarters.
Benjamin turned to Shelly and asked, “How are the children doing this morning?”
“They’re sound asleep, the last time I checked,” she answered. “Do you think we’ll be safe?” she couldn’t help asking.
“As safe as anyone can be in war. At least we have our faith to sustain us, if we want it,” he added with a yawn.
“I want it,” she said softly and firmly.
They walked down the hall together. Then Benjamin stopped in the doorway of the ward across the hall from hers and said, “You know, God performs all kinds of miracles to show us that He can. We have a woman in here that was left for dead on the Mombasa Road five days ago. We think she was attacked for her vehicle. Dr. Emery was on his way here and witnessed the whole thing. He risked his own life to stop and see if he could help. He found her scarcely alive and badly injured. She has been in a coma ever since. We have worked very hard to save her, both in skill and in prayer.”
Shelly’s heart skipped a beat. I was on that road five days ago, with Mattie. It can’t be… can it?
“Was it south of Tsavo?” she asked as she felt an electrical surge ran up her back.
“I think it was,” he answered with a quizzical expression.
“I was in a white Volvo with a dear friend who was taking me to the American Embassy. We were attacked and I thought she had been killed. Oh, Benjamin… It can’t be her. She was all shot up and looked so dead…” Shelly’s eyes filled with tears in remembrance.
He stood in the doorway for a second and then simply said, “Come, I will show you our patient.”
They walked into the room together. All the privacy curtains were drawn back in the room, revealing clean, empty beds, all but one. In the far corner of the room, with the light from the rising sun spilling over onto the bed, she saw a small, young African woman lying under the sheets. Her head was bound in gauze, her eyes sunken and darkened. She looked very ill and frail.
Shelly’s heart skipped hard again. “Mattie!” she said softly as she accepted that it really was her. She sat carefully on the bed and held the soft dark hand. “Mattie,” she said again. “Mattie.”
Mattie’s eyes fluttered open as she returned to this world with the calling of her name. She focused on the woman holding her hand and said softly, “Shelly…” with a small weak smile. Then she closed her eyes and slept.
Benjamin picked up her chart, reached over and checked her vital signs and made the necessary notations, with a large and brilliant smile on his face. “That was a very good sign,” he said gently to Shelly. “God is good. She has a chance now,” he added. “Come, let’s check on the children and then you can tell me all about her. We’ll go out to the kitchen, get some coffee and maybe a bite to eat. I need something to keep me going for a while longer.”
Shelly stooped down, placed her good hand on Mattie’s arm and told the sleeping woman, “I thought you were dead. I really did. Please forgive me for leaving you…” she said as she choked back a sob.
Benjamin softly touched her shoulder and offered, “No one is accustomed to violence and death. You couldn’t know. God provided for her or she would have died that day,” he said kindly.
Shelly stood up and gave thanks to God for His mercy toward her friend.
I’m so glad she is still here Lord, thank you, she said sincerely. She glanced once more at the sleeping woman, and marveled at the miracle.
She walked out into the hall, wiped her tears and then checked in on the children. They still slept.
Joining Benjamin, they walked out to the kitchen. Momma Blessing was up making coffee. The windows were wide open and the morning breeze gently stirred the aromas in the room. Cornmeal porridge, Ugali, bubbled on the stove.
Shelly sat down in an emotional fog. War was raging somewhere outside. Distant booming could still be heard, now and again. A dear friend had been found and living. What a wonder. And her walk with God was penetrating deeper into her soul. Fear and joy now mingled together in opposing turmoil, creating raging waves of emotion inside of her. She turned her spirit over to the Lord and His peace descended and calm prevailed.
She remembered her crossing of the trestle. She had been so terrified and weary. Then God reached down and guided her across with His strength and protection. She couldn’t have done it without Him. She sighed in contentment, realizing He truly was in control and she could rely on Him.
Sipping her coffee, she recounted her epic story to those in the room. They sat enraptured, thrilling at the details of God’s hand in her journey. Isn’t it funny how people with faith of their own, can enjoy hearing of God’s grace and love in someone else’s life, just as if it was their own? And maybe it is, since we are of one body in Christ.
After a while, Tom and Faith appeared in the doorway, all washed and dressed. Shelly delighted in setting food on the table for them and they ate together, chatting away about little things.
Suddenly, Blessing ran into the kitchen, terror vividly prominent on her face. “Soldiers… Soldiers are in the compound,” she cried.
The silence was acute. Shelly’s heart pounded hard. Then she grabbed the children and started them for the door. Benjamin was telling her to hide in the fields behind the kitchen as quickly as she could. The little group swiftly ran around the building, darting for a small group of trees about 100 yards away. It was too close to the building, in her opinion, but she didn’t think they had time to go further out into the field. Concealing themselves in the brush near the trees, she turned to look for Benjamin and Blessing. They should have been right behind her, but they were nowhere to be seen.
What happened to them, she wondered?
Her heart still raced and Faith started to whimper. Tears formed in Tom’s eyes as he snuggled close to Shelly. She tried to comfort them. “Hush, Faith,” she said softly in the child’s ears. “We don’t want them to find us, do we?” She softly rubbed the little one’s shoulders and wished she could hold Tom, but her left arm was still useless in its cast. She closed her eyes and prayed. She prayed long and hard, her heart beating fast in her chest.
Where are they? What’s happened to them? Dear Lord, keep them safe.
Minutes dragged on and on. Time stood still. She could hear nothing. It was so unnerving, the silence.
All of a sudden, Benjamin appeared next to the kitchen and softly called her name. He looked frantic, but not terrified. “Shelly… Mrs. Ferguson, where are you?” he called softly.
With her heart in her throat, she stood up. “Over here,” her reply was barely audible.
Benjamin ran over to her, near the trees. “The soldiers are from Nairobi, they’re ours, they’re here for Dr. Emery, but he won’t leave his patients. You must hurry. They’re willing to take you with them. We must run. They can’t stay. The enemy is so close, hurry. There is no time,” he said as he dragged the American and children with him.
They grabbed their things so quickly that Shelly wasn’t sure they had everything. “I need to say goodbye to Mattie,” she said quickly.
“There’s no time,” Benjamin said.
“I need to tell her what happened, why I wasn’t there for her, to thank her...” her voice trailed away.
“I’ll explain it all to her. There’s no time,” Benjamin said as he rushed them through the clinic and out into the compound.
Three uniformed men stood near a camouflaged jeep, well-armed and on alert.
Dr. Emery, Blessing and Blessing’s mother stood nearby, as the group ran to the vehicle.
“Get in,” Benjamin said in haste.
“What about you? Aren’t you coming?” she asked in panic.
“There’s no time to explain. We’re staying here, for now. God will provide,” he told her as he almost lifted her up into the front seat. He placed Faith on her lap, as two of the soldiers climbed into the back. One stood, wrapping his arms around the roll bar, as Dr. Emery lifted Tom into the back next to the others.
The driver jumped in, and turned to the doctor, “Are you sure. We came for you,” he stated firmly.
“I’m staying with my patients. Send help when you can,” was his reply.
Then the jeep started to move. The missionaries and the good doctor yelled, “God bless you.” “Goodbye.” and “God be with you.” as the jeep kicked up dust and sped out onto the road.
Shelly turned to see the small group standing together waving a heartfelt goodbye, as they disappeared in the swirling dust and mounting distance.
I didn’t even have time to say goodbye, or to thank them for all that they’ve done, she thought in grief. God only knows what will happen to them. Please keep them safe, Lord. Please be with Mattie.
Just like that, she was pulled from their lives, probably to never see them again.
The road was dusty, pitted and full of ruts. They were thrown around the jeep like rag dolls. Shelly’s head started to throb and ach intensely. Her legs were braced in the foot we
ll of the army vehicle as she held onto Faith with all of her might. Sounds of battle were growing by the minute. Jets screamed across the sky near the mountains, rocketing to the south.
The driver never said a word, but drove with skill and iron intent toward the north. Minutes dragged into timeless agony. She closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and hanging on with what strength she could find. She prayed and then prayed some more.
Time passed. Then the jeep swung onto a paved road, screeching its tires in a fast turn onto the roadway. They picked up speed and headed north as if death was close on their heels. The scenery raced by so fast that she closed her eyes again. At least the hard jostling had stopped. The engine screamed with its speed.
Eventually, she opened her eyes again, only to realize they were traveling on the Mombasa Highway at last, as a sign sped by. They raced through small towns and villages and after about an hour or so, the vehicle slowed, bogged down in traffic. They were entering a large shanty town that seemed to go on and on. Shacks and decrepit buildings with rusty roofs and poverty were everywhere. Large skyscrapers could be seen on the distance.
Nairobi! Could this be Nairobi? she wondered. It was.
The driver continued to weave in and around the traffic as if he was a mad man. Maybe he was. The breaks on the jeep squealed in protest as the vehicle stopped in front of a tall building surrounded by a wall of sand bags piled high into the sky. Razor wire covered the top like a treacherous crown. Next to the opening in the wall, stood a small shack, where several men in uniform were checking papers. These soldiers wore the cream colored camouflage uniforms with flack-jackets and helmets of the American Marine Corp. Shelly’s heart leaped for joy. Relief flooded her soul to see more soldiers standing guard, armed and alert in the background.
The driver turned to Shelly and said in a flat, dispassionate voice, “Get out.”
She was shocked at his cold command, but she complied. Exhausted, hurting, dirty and drained, she put Faith on the ground and stiffly got out of the jeep. Their scant belongings were thrown to the ground as the camouflaged vehicle turned and accelerated back the way they had come. Shelly and the two children stood in stunned silence as they watched their rescuers depart.
What have we done wrong? Are they upset that they couldn’t bring the doctor out? Are they in trouble for bringing us here? She would never know. Maybe they were just in a hurry to get back to their unit. Whatever it was, she didn’t care. They had made it. They were really here, at last!
Stooping, they picked up their things and turned to face the soldiers at the gate. The American Embassy stood before them.
Please Lord, help us. Keep us safe and help me to find Jim, now, she implored.
Found