Souls Unfractured

  I moved lower, my poppa’s body now hemorrhaging blood like a geyser. But I couldn’t fucking stop stabbing, I couldn’t fucking stop screaming out all the years of fucking pain. I reached below his waist, and taking both knives, sent them piercing through his cock. My poppa choked on his blood. But I shut my eyes, still trying to push away the feel of his breath on my neck as a kid, of his fucking sweating chest pressed to my back, as he fucked me against the wall.

  And I still couldn’t stop. I hacked down his legs, ripping through bone and muscle. I moved to his stomach and sliced apart the skin, then I got to his face. To those fucking dark eyes that were staring up at me glazed over, and raising both my hands, I slammed both blades down into each of his eyes. And yet I still couldn’t stop. I kept going, ripping through his jaw, his cheeks and his fucking skull.

  I didn’t think I’d ever be able to stop, until…

  “Flame! Stop… please!” a voice cried.

  But lifting the blades, my hands shaking, I drove them through his skull, feeling the bone splinter under my hands.

  “Flame! Stop! STOP!!!”

  The voice calling my name suddenly broke through into mind, and I dropped my blades, my body slumping back in exertion. I panted, my breathing too hard and too fast, when my eyes finally snapped back into focus.

  Blood. All I could see was a fucking shit ton of blood. Blood beneath me, blood covering a fucking corpse in front of me… a fucking corpse so fucking cut up you couldn’t see his face. You couldn’t make him out at all.

  Movement beside me made me turn, and I gasped for breath. Maddie… Maddie…

  “Flame. God!” Maddie sat on the grass verge behind me, her face pale, hand covering her mouth. Rage built in my chest, rage and a fucking rush of feelings I couldn’t understand, and I screamed.

  I screamed and fucking screamed. Scrambling off my poppa’s torn up body, I collapsed on the road, my knees bent and neck muscles tight. Then fisting my hands, I threw my head back and screamed again. I fucking screamed until my fucking voice cut the hell out, my throat raw and sore.

  Suddenly, I felt real fucking tired, exhausted, and my head dropped forward. My body shook as tears fell from my fucking eyes. And I couldn’t fucking stop.

  I couldn’t fucking stop.

  Too lost in the fucking aftermath of the kill, I felt a soft hand on my face. I flinched at the touch, but when I went to knock it the fuck away, Maddie’s face came into view. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her face and lips were deathly white.

  “Maddie,” I croaked, unable to fucking move.

  Maddie inched further forward on her knees, and my head fell into her chest. Maddie cried out, and wrapped her arms around my head, holding me to her chest. I pushed my weak assed arms around her waist, and said with a hoarse voice, “He’s gone. He’s really fucking gone.” It felt like a fucking ton weight had been lifted from my chest.

  Maddie sobbed from above. “Yes,” she whispered, then crushed me harder to her tiny body.

  We stayed that way for minutes, until I heard noise coming from behind me. Hearing Maddie gasp, I pulled back, lifted my head. And my heart fucking stopped.

  Vike and AK were coming out of the house… walking out of that fucking house, with the kid from the cellar. A kid who looked about sixteen or seventeen.

  He was thin.

  He was tall.

  He was pale.

  But he… he…

  “He looks just like you,” Maddie voiced from beside me. She’d said aloud what I was thinking. “Lord, Flame, he has your eyes, and he has your color hair… he looks like he is… God! Is he your brother?” Her hand reached down to take mine, and she questioned, “Do you have another brother?”

  I stared at the kid, standing between AK and Vike. I stared at his ripped clothes. But his eyes were on me. He never fucking took them off me. Viking put his hand on the kid’s shoulder, but the kid jerked back.

  I immediately shot to my feet. “Don’t fucking touch him,” I bit out.

  Viking moved back, his hands in the air. “Fuck man, I weren’t gonna hurt him. I was fucking bringing him out to meet y’all, brother. This is Asher Cade. Turns out Daddio had a woman on the side, and after you left, he moved her and his bastard kid into this palace. Asher here is said bastard kid.” Viking pointed at the boy. “You have a fucking little brother, Flame. Asher fucking Cade. Your old man married his mama, and made it all nice and official as soon as he could.”

  Feeling like I’d been fucking punched in my stomach with a lead bar, I walked forward. The kid watched me, then he fucking looked over my shoulder. I tensed when I knew what he was seeing, but then a fucking long sigh left his mouth, and his shoulders slumped.

  “You good, kid?” AK asked, and he slowly nodded his head.

  His dark eyes fixed back on me, and he shyly asked, “You’re Josiah?”

  I stopped dead, Maddie’s hand squeezing mine. I shook my head and hissed, “I’m Flame. I used to be Josiah. Now, I’m Flame.”

  The kid looked at the body on the floor behind us. “He said I was... like you. Said I was too much like... Josiah. Then he hurt me… he…”

  The kid’s voice choked off. He looked down at the ground. His eyes closed. He panted through his nose.

  “How old are you?” AK asked, from my left.

  “Sixteen,” the kid replied. I closed my eyes.

  Opening them again, I asked, “Where’s your mama?” The kid looked up at me. I saw his expression change. His eyes lowered. He swallowed.

  Viking pointed at me. “Flame ain’t angry. It’s just how he talks.”

  I frowned at Viking. “How did I fucking talk?”

  Viking shrugged, and rubbed his hand under his nose. “Like you, brother. Don’t sweat it.” Maddie laid her head on my arm. I breathed normally, hating how I could never fucking speak right to new people.

  Asher rocked on his feet, looked real fucking sad, and answered, “Died a few months back. She… she killed herself.” He looked up at me and pointed behind him. “Hung herself on the tree out back.” He sucked in a sharp breath. “I found her. And poppa… he blamed me. Said it was all my fault.” He shook his head. “But he beat her. Made us go to that church he loved so much, and we hated. She killed herself because of him, but he blamed me. Mama was still so young, she was only eighteen when she met him. She couldn’t go on any longer.”

  “God…” Maddie whispered, clearly in shock. I closed my eyes and thought, just like my fucking mama. It was all exactly like my fucking life.

  When I opened them again, AK was standing in front of me. “Your call, man. This kid’s your blood.” I stared at my… brother… and my heart pounded. I had a brother. I had a fucking kid brother… again.

  The kid held my gaze. He stepped forward and asked, “What’ll happen to me now? I can’t…” His breath caught, and he shook. “Don’t take me to that church. Please… Josiah, please… I got no other family, and I hate that church more than anything.”

  “It’s Flame,” I corrected, too busy thinking about that fucking church. The kid’s eyes widened.

  “Flame,” he pleaded. “Don’t make me go there.”

  Maddie squeezed my hand. When I looked down at her, she was staring right back up at me with those huge eyes. Taking a deep breath, I faced Asher and ordered, “You come home with me.”

  The kid paused, then choked on a fucking pained sob. Viking moved forward and slung his arm around Asher’s shoulder. The kid tensed, but he relaxed straight away into Viking’s huge chest, fucking curling himself into Vike’s hold. Just then, I knew that Asher wasn’t like me at all. He didn’t have my condition. He could be touched… He—

  “… can be touched,” I finished, under my breath. Maddie’s hand lay on my chest. She’d heard me. My arm lifted to lie over her shoulder and I pulled her closer, holding the one person I could touch. Placing my mouth close to her ear, I whispered, “He can be touched, Maddie. He ain’t like me.”

  “I know,” she r
eplied, and hugged me tighter. “That’s good, Flame.”

  Viking walked past me toward the bikes, away from the fucking corpse. With Asher under his arm, he asked, “Little fucking Ash. You ever been to Texas?” Viking stopped dead in his tracks and looked back. “Fucking Ash, brother. Flame and Little Ash.” He shook his head and smiled. Turning back to Asher, he asked, “You ever been on a bike?”

  “No,” Asher replied in a timid voice. “But I’ve seen one. And I’ve always liked them.”

  “Good thing, brother. Because where you’re going, you’re gonna learn to fucking love them.”

  AK followed them both without saying a word. I stood there just breathing, staring at the old shithole of a house. Maddie walked in front of me. “What now?”

  Pushing a loose strand of her black hair behind her ear, I said, “I need you to wait out here.”

  Maddie stilled, then dropped my hand and walked to the bikes. I headed back to what was left of my poppa on the ground. Bending down, I picked up his fucking torn up corpse in my arms, and carried it into the house, back to the cellar. Without even looking at its face, without even looking down into that fucking pedo cell, I threw it into the hellhole, throwing in that fucking cursed blade with it.

  In seconds, I stood at the front door, and reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my lighter and brought up a flame. I stared at the orange flames, feeling the flames in my blood stir in response. Then I walked through the old doorway for the very last time, and flicked the open flame onto the cluttered dry floor. I shut the front door behind me, and just fucking smiled. Lifting my head, I saw Asher on the back of Viking’s bike, wearing leathers far too fucking big for his paper thin body. Then I climbed on my bike. Maddie was already waiting, her arms coming around my waist as soon I sat in the saddle.

  AK rolled his bike beside me, and asked, “What now, brother?”

  Focusing straight forward, I said, “I got one more place to go.”

  AK revved his engine, and said, “Then fucking lead the way.”

  We pulled out onto the dirt road. I smelled the smoke of burning wood. And I smiled again. I smiled knowing that that fucker would burn to ashes.

  We hit the main road, and I tore up asphalt heading for one last place. AK and Viking were right on my back wheel, not one fucking car to be seen on the road.

  My chest tightened as we approached the building I hated most. When the old church came into view on the deserted country road, I pulled my bike to a stop out front.

  Sliding off my bike, I turned to Maddie. “You stay here out front with the kid. This won’t take long.”

  Maddie swallowed, but she got off the bike and walked toward Asher who was sitting on Viking’s bike. Viking and AK joined me.

  “What the fuck is this place?” AK asked, inspecting the old white shack.

  My hands fisted and I replied, “A church.”

  AK frowned and Vike shook his head. “And what we doing at a rundown church? ‘Cause I’m pretty fucking sure I’ll burst into flames if I walk into that place,” Viking said as he pointed to the entrance.

  “You go in there and bring anyone inside, out back. I’ll be fucking waiting,” I ordered, and without waiting for a reply, went to my bike and took two new blades from my saddlebag. Gripping the handles, I walked round the back and waited.

  It wasn’t two minutes later when AK and Viking came out holding a man each. And the rage came back seeing Pastor Hughes and Elder Paul in their hands.

  My brothers held them in their grip, the two men from my past completely white with fear. Vike flicked his chin, and said, “These were the only two in there. They who you want?”

  “Yeah,” I growled. I lifted my blades and ordered, “Hold them up against the wall.”

  AK and Vike moved without question, and slammed the Pastor and the Elder against the wooden wall of the church. The men started firing questions at me, but I didn’t waste any fucking time. Plowing forward, I plunged my knife first through Elder Paul leaving him impaled on the wall, choking on his own blood. Then through Pastor Hughes’ stomach, getting close enough to his ear to spit, “That’s for Isaiah, you fucking cunt. For Isaiah and for helping that fucking bastard of a father get away with fucking murder and rape.”

  I walked away, only looking over my shoulder to order Vike, “Torch the fucking place, and leave those fuckers on that wall to burn alive.”

  I reached my bike and flicked my chin at Maddie. She walked to me slowly. “Are you okay?” she asked warily.

  I nodded my head, and jumped on the saddle. Maddie got on behind me, no questions asked, just as AK and Vike came back round front. AK nodded his head telling me the place was smoke.

  As my brothers got on their bikes behind me, I held up my hand in the air and pointed forward.

  It was time to get the fuck home.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Maddie

  We arrived home three days later.

  We were tired and emotionally drained, but we were home. In fact, we arrived home in good time, Flame pushing us hard to get here as soon as possible.

  Asher had made the journey without complaint. And, in the little time I had to speak to him, I had come to discover that he was a sweet young boy. Naïve, sheltered, but bright. AK and Viking had taken him under their collective wing. Asher had swapped riding on the back of their bikes, and he slept beside them when we camped at night. Flame’s two best friends talked to him non-stop. Viking explained their alternative life and what Asher’s future could become.

  Asher listened intently, saying little in return. He was painfully quiet, but I immediately liked him. And my heart cried for him. When I looked at Asher, I could not help but see a young Flame in his eyes. They were so much alike in looks. It was a startling likeness. But the best part of all, Asher had the promise of a young life. Where for Flame it had been already ruined. And Asher did not have the same disposition as Flame. Asher could read people just fine. He could express emotion, and he could understand subtle cues and actions. He did not share the same condition as his paternal brother.

  Which led me to Flame.

  For the entire journey Flame had spoken little. He rode. He ate. And he made our bed away from Viking, AK and his brother. Far away, shutting them out completely. Each night, each time we went to sleep, he pulled me down to lie beside him, clutching me so very tightly in his arms. Like he was afraid to let me go. But he did not speak. He did not speak of what he had done to his father. Of what he had done at his old church. He had shut down completely.

  And worst of all, he said nothing to Asher.

  Not one word.

  He barely even glanced his way.

  Asher watched him, when Flame was not looking. He watched him so closely, and it broke my heart into pieces. Because I could see Asher’s desperation so clearly in his timid expression. I could see the want in his eyes, for his big brother to acknowledge him, or to even look his way.

  But Flame did not. He sat, sharpening his blades, head cast down.

  Silent.

  When we arrived home, when we arrived at the three cabins, AK took one look at Flame’s empty face and asked, “How 'bout Little Ash stays with me? I got a spare room. He’ll be good with me.”

  Flame had nodded his head once, and AK had taken Asher to his cabin. I watched them the entire way, completely lost at what to do. Just as they were about to enter the door, Asher glanced back to Flame. But Flame was staring straight forward, shoulders tense. Asher went into the cabin, defeated; AK firmly closed the door behind them.

  Flame had been that way ever since. Quiet, unable to bear letting me out of his sight, shutting himself away from the world.

  Feeling the water had cooled, I pulled the plug out of the tub, and sat in the draining water, trying to search my mind for what could be done. Because that was Flame. He did not express what troubled him. He kept it deep inside, with no indication about how to help him.

  For days I had searched my mind for anything to help him ad
dress his inner pain; then, just as I felt I was at a complete loss, unable to give any help, an idea struck me. A realization so stark that I was convinced it had to help, even if only a little.

  Because there was one haunting memory that Flame had yet to overcome. One barrier that he had yet to confront. Taking a deep breath, I prayed that it worked. Because if it did not, I was unsure if Flame would ever be freed from the cage in his mind.

  Stepping out of the bath, I dried quickly and changed into leather pants and a black sweater, then tied my hair back in a tight braid. When I was ready, I left the bathroom to find Flame in the same position he had been in for days. He was slumped against the wall near the unlit fire, his finger travelling down the long blade in his hands… and his intense dark eyes were fixed on the end of the living room... to the hatch... the replica of the hatch that brought him so much pain in his younger years.

  I noted his muscles tensed when I entered the room. And as he had done for the last few days, his hand tapped the floor beside him, wordlessly indicating for me to sit beside him.

  This time, when I approached, I crouched at his feet instead. His eyes barely registered that I was wearing my leathers; he didn’t move. Reaching out, I took hold of his hand, and when his lost eyes blinked up, I gently demanded, “I need you to take us somewhere.”

  Flame’s facial expression did not change, but the rise and fall of his chest told me he did not want to leave. I squeezed his hand, and whispered, “For me, Flame. Please do this for me.”

  Flame dropped the blade, and he pushed his large body to his feet. Refusing to release my hand, he pulled me into his chest and asked, “Where are we going?”

  "I need us to go into downtown Austin."

  Flame numbly nodded his head, then asked, “Where?”

  I closed my eyes, knowing this was going to be a battle. Then told him the street name. As soon as the words had left my mouth, Flame’s body had tensed, the hard muscles in his arms and chest pulling to their splitting point.