The soul could. And her soul kept searching for the faithless horse in the blinding white. If only she could get on it, all would be well. Paradise was lost, but it could be regained. What did Father Emilio say? We have the power in us to begin the world anew. She would get herself to a hospital and when she was better, she would fly to Manila and go back to San Agustin, work at the orphanage, do her obediences, pay her penance, and take care of Nalini, and if Che hadn’t come back yet, they would take what was left of Jared’s money and fly back to the U.S. stopping off for a few days in Hong Kong because Larissa had never seen Hong Kong and always wanted to, and then they would go and visit Summit, such a nice town to raise a family. Larissa could show the young girl where she had once lived, introduce her to the husband and children she had left behind.
Epilogue
Benevolence, Goodness, Kindness, Mercy, Humility, there it was, Humility. She couldn’t believe how well she remembered the layout of the streets, the familiar names. She walked faster and faster through the old neighborhood, passing the market, still selling the shoes and pears side by side, reveled in the pressed together streets, in the bustle of the afternoon. Faster and faster until she started to run, her little bag on her back, well, she didn’t have a lot left. When they discharged her, they gave her back the few things she had, so she ran a little now, it wouldn’t kill her, to run outside again, to be free.
Moonwalk, what a nice name for a town. Everything about it pleased her today, the closeness of the buildings, the smells of fish and smoke, the briny bay. She couldn’t believe she was finally back. She had written Father Emilio four months earlier when she knew she was going to be released early for good behavior from that fuckhole of a Mindanao medium security prison for women, and he was, as always, good enough to write back. He even sent her a parcel, a care package of dried crackers and cookies, and some potato chips; he sent her a Bible and pictures of her unbelievable baby, he forwarded her a letter from Jared that was too painful for Che to think about then or now—not when she was hurrying to see her own child—Jared’s letter about Larissa that broke Che’s unmended heart. Though the picture Jared included of his growing family comforted Che a tiny bit: his very pregnant Slovakian wife, his new baby, his children with Larissa, Emily, grown up, looking so much like her mother when young, Asher, shaggy-haired and unshaved, and Michelangelo, nearly a teenager, nearly as tall as his dad but with a floppy head of curly blond hair…the girls must love him, thought Che, as she wept for her dearest poorest Larissa.
She almost ran past San Agustin in her reverie.
“Che!” Father Emilio called, standing on the church steps, like always, open door behind him, looking out at the laity rushing by. Dropping her bag, she rushed to him. He hugged her. He was older and grayer, and his back was more stooped than she remembered, but that’s because he was always bending to bless the old people in their beds, to bless the hands of the little orphans.
“I’m so glad to see you, Che.”
“Not as glad as I am to see you, dear Father,” she said, kissing his hands, bending her head to be blessed by him.
“You’ve had a safe journey?”
She rolled her eyes. “I got sick, caught some viral island thing a few weeks ago.”
“You do look very thin.”
“I’m okay now. A little rice pudding, a little pandesal, some halo-halo, I’ll be as good as new.”
He motioned her inside. “Come. No use standing here,” he said, “when there is someone who has been waiting so long to see you.”
“I’m scared, Father,” Che said nervously. “She won’t remember me. She doesn’t know who I am. She’ll be angry. I know I would be. She won’t understand. She’s so little. I can’t explain to her…what do I do? I’ve been gone so long…not by choice, but…”
He picked up her bag from the ground. “Come, Che. No use standing here when there is someone who’s been waiting so long to see you.”
With trembling hands, Che took her bag from him. “I brought her something. Maybe I could give her a gift first? I bought her a dress. A pretty floral sundress. I know here all they wear is uniforms…”
“You can give it to her later. Come.” He squeezed her hand gently. “She won’t need it now.”
They walked through the long darkened corridor just like Che remembered, and walked out through the French glass doors onto a courtyard, in the middle of which a group of small children were playing. One tiny girl, who looked to be the ringleader, was showing them how to throw the marker onto a hopscotch square. “No, you’re not doing it right, Sammy,” she was saying imperiously to the befuddled boy. “Are boys even capable of playing this? Watch me. You throw the marker onto a square, but then when you hop, you can’t hop onto that square. That’s the point of the game. Otherwise you lose. Now, let’s try it again. I’m going to throw it on square three, and then you hop.” Turning her black-haired head, the girl spotted Father Emilio and Che standing next to him.
For a moment she was motionless.
The small centivo fell from her hands.
“Mama!” she cried. And ran across the stone yard, ran with all her might, and jumped into Che’s arms.
“Oh, Mama…” she cried, hugging Che around the neck, wrapping herself around her mother. For a few moments no one spoke, no one made a single sound, except the chirping birds on the awnings.
“I knew you’d come back,” Nalini whispered. “I knew it. I told everybody. Didn’t I, Papa Emilio?”
“You did, Nalini,” he said, patting her back. “You certainly did.”
Che was crying, holding her baby, and couldn’t speak.
“Don’t cry, Mama,” said Nalini, covering Che’s face with kisses. “You are so beautiful.” She touched Che’s streaked face, her short hair, she wiped her mother’s cheeks and kissed them again.
“I can’t believe how big you got, Nalini.”
“I am five years and five months,” the girl said, a big smile on her face.
“And you’re playing hopscotch.”
“Uh-huh! You know who taught me? Your friend, Larissa. What? Don’t cry. Please. She came to live with us, and stayed for a long time, but then had to go because she had a big emergency, but Papa said she will come back soon…what? Don’t cry. Wait till you see the Nativity play she wrote for us. You won’t believe it. I’m one of the Magi, Mama. I’m the one who brings myrrh, but I know everybody’s lines. I know the whole play by heart. Wanna hear?”
“More than anything.”
“We’re putting it on next week for the Christmas Festival at the church and at the Moonwalk Square. Papa Emilio says if it’s a success we will put it on every year. Next year maybe I can be Mary. Larissa would be so proud. She made us the cave and the costumes.”
“You sound very busy,” Che said, caressing the child’s head and back shoulders. “When do you have time to play hopscotch?”
“Every day. I practice a lot.” She giggled. “I am very good at it. You want to see?”
Reluctantly Che put her down. “Very much. I want to see everything.”
Nalini took hold of her hand, looking up at her. Che brought her to a bench, sat down, pulled Nalini to sit on her lap.
“I thought you wanted to see me play?”
“I do. In a minute.” Che caressed the child’s hair, her arms, her skinny legs, touched her, pawed her, felt her through her fingertips, inhaled her, gazed at her with adoration. “I can’t believe how big you got. How beautiful. What else can you do?”
“I can read! Wait till you hear me read Psalm 136!”
“Praise for the Lord’s Everlasting Mercy?” said Che. “You can sing that?”
“Well,” said Nalini, sheepishly, “Papa Emilio says I memorized it, and maybe I did a little bit, but I can also read it. I can. The Lord’s mercy endures forever. And it’s true, it does endure forever, because look, He brought you back to me. Oh, Mama.”
“Oh, Nalini.”
Their arms wrapped around each ot
her. “Nobody believed me,” Nalini whispered. “I told all the other kids, I told Papa Emilio, I told Larissa, no one would listen. But I knew you’d come back.”
“It was really hard, Nalini. So many times I thought I might not make it. I’ve had a rough couple of years.”
Nalini patted her face. “But now you’re here. And you know that nice man, Larissa’s uncle or brother, or somebody, left us money to go to America if we want to, and he said we can stay at his house. Papa Emilio said.”
“Do you want to do that?”
Nalini clapped her hands together. “So much.”
“Well, maybe we can go and visit, after we get settled. We have to figure out a couple of things first. Where we’re going to live. Mama has to look for a job. We’ve got some things to take care of.”
“But after,” said Nalini, “we’ll go and visit the nice man in his big house?”
“Yes, darling. We can do that.” It was pleasant out, hot, humid, not much of a breeze, no rain, twinkling sunshine. They got up, Nalini in Che’s arms. “I can’t believe how big you got. You’re nearly my size.”
“No, I’m still your little baby.” She kissed her mother and jumped down. “What does my name mean, Mama? It’s not Filipino. My friends keep asking me.”
“It’s Indian,” replied Che. “It means the most beautiful one.”
Nalini giggled. “Awesome. Wait till I tell ‘em. Now come,” she said. “I want to introduce you to everybody. You want to play hopscotch with us? I’ll teach you.”
“Yes, that would be good,” Che said. “Me and Larissa used to play a long time ago”—Che lowered her head—”when we were kids like you. But I have forgotten how.”
“Well, come on, Mama,” Nalini said, grabbing Che’s hand and pulling on her, “And don’t worry. Now that you’re here, every little thing’s gonna be all right.”
About the Author
A SONG IN THE DAYLIGHT
Paullina Simons was born in Leningrad and emigrated to the United States in 1973. She lives close to New York, with her husband and four children. Go to her website, www.paullinasimons.com, for more information on her novels.
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By the same author
Tully
Red Leaves
Eleven Hours
The Bronze Horseman
Tatiana and Alexander
The Summer Garden
The Girl in Times Square
Road to Paradise
…Do not lose heart…Outward man is perishing, yet inward man is being renewed day by day…We do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-1
Copyright
This novel is entirely a work of fiction.
The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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FIRST EDITION
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2009
Copyright (c) Timshel Books, Inc 2009
The Society of Authors as the Literary Representatives of the Estate of Virginia Woolf
Lyrics by John Lennon/Paul McCartney (c) Sony/ATV Tunes LLC/Northern Songs All Rights Reserved
Paullina Simons asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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EPub Edition (c) 2009 ISBN: 978-0-00-735315-6
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Paullina Simons, A Song in the Daylight
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