More Tish

not use them, and in fact had torn them into ragsto clean his gun. He went even further, and stated that it was not thecustom of the men to use pyjamas at all, and that in fact on cold nightssome of them merely removed their hats and shoes, and then retired.]

  "Table linen, even if coarse, should be provided. Are our men to comeback to us savages?"

  * * * * *

  It may have been purely coincidence, but soon after Tish'srecommendations had been received at the War Department the FosdickCommission was appointed. Yet we carried away a conviction that thoughcertain things had been sadly neglected Charlie Sands was in good hands.The colonel came up to speak to us when, seeing the men standing in rowson the parade ground about sunset while the band played, we stoodwatching.

  He was very pleasant, and said that they were about to bring in theflag. Some such conversation then ensued:

  TISH: Do you bring in the flag every night?

  THE COLONEL: Every night, madam.

  TISH: Then you are a better housekeeper than I thought you were.

  THE COLONEL: I beg your pardon?

  TISH (magnanimously): You may not know much about dishcloths, but youare right about flags. They do fade, and I dare say dew is about as badas rain for them.

  He seemed very much gratified by her approval, and said in twenty-fiveyears in the Army he had never failed to have the flag brought in atnight. "I may fail in other things," he said wistfully. "To err ishuman, you know. But the flag proposition is one I stand pat on."

  It was after our return visit to the camp that the real change in Tishbegan. We had gone to our cottage in Lake Penzance for the summer, andTish suggested that we study French there. She had an excellent Frenchbook, with photographs in it showing where to place the tongue and howto pucker the lips for certain sounds. At first she did not allow us todo anything but practice these facial expressions, and I rememberfinding Hannah in the kitchen one night crying into her bread sponge andasking her what the trouble was.

  "I just can't bear it, Miss Lizzie," she said; "when I look in and seethe three of you sitting there making faces I nearly go crazy. I've gotso I do it myself, and the milkman won't leave the bottles no nearerthan the gate."

  After some days of silent practice Tish considered that we could advancea lesson, and we began with syllable sounds, thus:

  _Ba_--Said with tip of tongue against lower teeth.

  _Be_--Show two upper middle teeth.

  _Bi_--Broad smile.

  _Bu_--Whistle.

  _Bon_--Pout.

  It was an excellent method, though we all found difficulty in showingonly two upper middle teeth.

  There were also syllables which called for hollow cheeks, and I rememberTish's irritation at my failure.

  "If you would eat less whipped cream, Lizzie," she said scathingly, "youmight learn the French language. Otherwise you might as well give itup."

  "I dare say there are plump people among the French," I retorted. "And Inever heard that a Frenchwoman who put on twenty pounds or so went dumb.That woman who trims your hats isn't dumb so you could notice it. I'dthank my stars if she was. She can say forty dollars fast enough, andshe doesn't suck in her cheeks either!"

  In the end Aggie and I gave up the French lessons, but Tish kept themup. She learned ten nouns a day, and she made an attempt at verbs, butgave it up.

  "I can secure anything I want, if I ever visit our valiant Ally," shesaid, "by naming it in the French and then making the appropriategesture."

  She made the experiment on Hannah, and it worked well enough. She wouldsay "butter" or "spoon" and point to her place at the table; but Hannahalmost left on the strength of it, and when she tried it on Mr.Jennings, the fishman, he told all over Penzance that she had losteither her mind or her teeth.

  Aggie and I were extremely uneasy all of July, for Tish does nothingwithout a motive, and she was learning in French such warlike phrases as"Take the trenches," "The enemy is retiring," and "We must attack fromthe rear." She also took to testing out the engine of her automobile invarious ways, and twice, trying to cross a plowed field with it, had tobe drawn out with a rope. She took to driving at night without lightsalso, and had the ill luck to run into the Penzance doctor's buggy andtake a wheel off it.

  It was after that incident, when we had taken the doctor home and puthim to bed, that I demanded an explanation.

  But she only said with a far-away look in her eyes: "It may be a usefulaccomplishment sometime. If one were going after wounded at night itwould be invaluable."

  "Not if you killed all the doctors on the way!" I snapped.

  The limit to our patience came soon after that. One morning about thefirst of August the boatman from the lake came up the path with a spadeover his shoulder. Tish, we perceived, tried to take him aside, but hegave her no time.

  "Well, I've done it, Miss Tish," he said, "and God only knows what'llhappen if somebody runs into it between now and tomorrow morning."

  "Nobody will know you did it unless you continue to shout the way youare doing now."

  "Oh, I'll not tell," he observed; "I'm not so proud of it. But'twouldn't surprise me a mite if we both did some time together in thecounty jail, on the head of it, Miss Tish."

  Well, Aggie went pale, but Tish merely gave him five dollars and spentthe rest of the day shut in the garage with her car. I went back andlooked in the window during the afternoon, and she was on her backunder it, hammering at something.

  That night at dinner she made an announcement.

  "I have for some time," she said, "been considering--go out, Hannah, andclose the door--been considering the values of different engines for anambulance which I propose to take to France."

  "Tish!" Aggie cried in a heart-rending tone.

  "And I have come to the conclusion that my own car has the best engineon the market. Tonight I propose to make a final test and if it succeedsI shall have an ambulance body built on it. I know this engine; I mayalmost say I have an affection for it. And it has served me well. Why, Iask you, should I abandon it and take some new-fangled thing that wouldas like as not lie down and die the minute it heard the first shell?"

  "Exactly," I said with some feeling; "why should you, when you can counton me doing it anyhow?"

  She ignored that, however, and said she had fully determined to goabroad and to get as near the Front as possible. She said also that shehad already written General Pershing, and that she expected to start themoment his reply came.

  "I told him," she observed, "that I would prefer not being assigned toany particular part of the line, as it was my intention, though notsacrificing the national good to it, to remain as near my nephew aspossible. Pershing is a father and I felt that he would understand."

  She then prepared to take the car out, and with a feeling of desperationAggie and I followed her.

  For some time we pursued the even tenor of our way, varied only byTish's observing over her shoulder: "No matter what happens, do not bealarmed, and don't yell!"

  Aggie was for getting out then, but we have always stood by Tish in anemergency, and we could not fail her then. She had turned into a darklane and we were moving rapidly along it.

  "When I say 'Ready!' brace yourselves for a jar," Tish admonished us.Aggie was trembling, and she had just put a small flash of blackberrycordial to her lips to steady herself when the machine went over theedge of a precipice, throwing Aggie into the road and myself forwardinto the front of the car.

  There was complete silence for a moment. Then Aggie said in areproachful voice: "You didn't say 'Ready!' Tish."

  Tish, however, said nothing, and in the starlight I perceived her bentforward over the steering wheel. The car was standing on its forward endat the time.

  "Tish!" I cried. "Tish!"

  She then straightened herself and put both hands over the pit of herstomach.

  "I've burst something, Lizzie," she said in a strangled tone. "My gallbladder, probably."

  She then leaned back and closed
her eyes. We were greatly alarmed, as itis unlike our brave Tish to give in until the very last, but finally shesat erect, groaning.

  "I am going back and kill that boatman," she said. "I told him to dig ashell hole, not a cellar." Here she stood up and felt her pulse. "IfI've burst anything," she announced a moment later, "it's a corsetsteel. That boatman is a fool, but at least he has given us a chance tosee if we are of the material which France requires at this tragicjuncture."

  "I can tell you right away that I am not," Aggie said tartly. "I'm notand I don't want to be. Though I can't see how biting my tongue halfthrough is going to help France anyhow."

  But Tish was not