More Tish

herany assistance. Tish and I picked her up, and she fell to sneezingviolently, so that it was some time before the conversation was resumed.It was the general who resumed it.

  "This is very flattering," he said in a cold voice, "but if you ladieswill explain how you got here I'll make it interesting for somebody."

  Suddenly the colonel who was with him said: "Suffering Crimus! It can'tbe! And yet--it certainly is!"

  We looked at him, and it was the colonel who had been so interested inCharlie Sands at the training camp. We all shook hands with him, and heoffered us chairs, and said to the general: "These are the ladies I havetold you about, sir, with the nephew. You may recall the helpfulsuggestions sent to the Secretary of War and forwarded back to me by theGeneral Staff. I have always wanted to explain about those dish towels,ladies. You see, you happened on us at a bad time. Our dish towels hadcome, but though neatly hemmed they lacked the small tape in the cornerby which to hang them up. I therefore----"

  "Oh, keep still!" said the general in an angry tone. "Now, what bringsyou women here?"

  "My nephew has been taken prisoner," Tish said coldly. "I want to knowmerely whether you propose to do anything about it or intend to sit herein comfort and do nothing."

  He became quite red in the face at this allusion to the cribbage board,et cetera, and at first seemed unable to speak.

  "Quietly, man," said the colonel. "Remember your blood pressure."

  "Damn my blood pressure!" said the general in a thick tone.

  I must refuse to relate the conversation that followed--hardlyconversation, indeed, as at the end the general did all the talking.

  At last, however, he paused for breath, and Tish said very quietly:"Then I am to understand that you refuse to do anything about mynephew?"

  "Who is your nephew?"

  "Charlie Sands."

  "And who's Charlie Sands?"

  "My nephew," said Tish.

  He said nothing to this, but shouted abruptly in a loud voice:"Orderly! Raise that curtain and let some air into this rat hole."

  Then he turned to the colonel and said: "Thompson, you're younger than Iam. I've got a family, and my blood pressure's high. I'm going out tomake a tour of the observation posts."

  "Coward!" said the colonel to him in a low tone.

  The colonel was very pleasant to us when the other man had gone. Thegeneral was his brother-in-law, he said, and rather nervous because theyhadn't had a decent meal for a week.

  "The only thing that settles his nerves is cribbage," he explained. "Ithelps his morale. Now--let us think about getting you back to safety.I'd offer you our humble hospitality, but somebody got in here today andstole the duckboard I've been sleeping on, and I can't offer you thegeneral's cellar door. He's devoted to it."

  "What if we refuse to go back?" Tish demanded. "We've taken a risky tripfor a purpose, and I don't give up easily, young man. I'm inclined tosit here until that general promises to do something."

  His face changed.

  "Oh, now see here," he said in an appealing voice, "you aren't going tomake things difficult for me, are you? There's a regulation againstthis sort of thing."

  "We are welfare workers," Tish said calmly. "Behind us there stand theentire American people. If kept from the front trenches while trying toserve our boys there are ways of informing the people through thepress."

  "It's exactly the press I fear," he said in a sad voice. "Think of theresults to you three, and to me."

  "What results?" Tish demanded impatiently. "I'm not doing anything I'mashamed of."

  He was abstractedly moving the cribbage pins about.

  "It's like this," he said: "Not very far behind the lines there are alot of newspaper correspondents, and lately there hasn't been much news.But perhaps I'd better explain my own position. I am engaged to a lovelygirl at home. I write to her every day, but I have been consciousrecently that in her replies to me there has been an element of--shall Isay suspicion? No, that is not the word. Anxiety--of anxiety, lest Ishall fall in love with some charming Red Cross or Y. M. C. A. girl.Nothing could be further from my thoughts, but you can see my situation.Three feminine visitors at nightfall; news-hungry correspondents; allthe rest of it. Scandal, dear ladies! And absolute ruin to my hopes!"

  "Bosh!" said Tish. But I could see that she was uncomfortable. "Ifthere's trouble I'll send her our birth certificates. Besides, I thoughtyou said the general was your brother-in-law?"

  Aggie says he changed color at that but he said hastily: "By marriage,madam, only by marriage. By that I mean--I--he--the general is marriedto my brother."

  "Really!" said Tish. "How unusual!"

  She said afterward that she saw at once then that we were only wastingtime, and that neither one of them would move hand or foot to getCharlie Sands back. Aggie had been scraping her skirt with a tableknife, and was now fairly tidy, so Tish prepared to depart.

  "On thinking it over," she said, "I realize that I am confronting asituation which requires brains rather than brute force. I shalltherefore attend to it myself. Good night, colonel. I hope you findanother duckboard. And--if you are writing home present my complimentsto the general's husband. Come, Aggie."

  At the top of the incline I looked back. The colonel was staring afterus and wiping his forehead with a khaki handkerchief.

  "You see," Tish said bitterly, "that is the sort of help one gets fromthe Army." She drew a deep breath and looked in the general direction ofthe trenches. "One thing is sure and certain--I'm not going back untilI've found out whether Charlie Sands is still in that town over there orwhether he has been taken away so we'll have to get at him fromSwitzerland."

  Aggie gave a low moan at this, and Tish eyed her witheringly.

  "Don't be an idiot, Aggie!" she observed. "I haven't asked you to go--orLizzie either. I'd be likely," she added, "to get through our linesunseen and into the very midst of the German Army--with one of yousneezing with hay fever and the other one panting like a locomotivefrom, too much flesh."

  "Tish----" I began firmly. But she waved her hand in silence anddemanded Aggie's flashlight. She then led the way behind the ruins of awall and took a bundle of papers from under her jacket.

  "If the Army won't help us we have a right to help ourselves," sheobserved. And I perceived with a certain trepidation that the paperswere some that had been lying on the table at headquarters.

  "'Memorandum,'" Tish read the top one. "'Write home. Order boots. Sendto British Commissary for Scotch whisky. Insect powder!' Wouldn't youknow," she said bitterly, "that that general would have to make amemorandum about writing home?"

  Underneath, however, there was an aeroplane picture of the Front andV----, and also a map. Both of these she studied carefully until severalbullets found their way to our vicinity, and a sentry ran up and wasvery rude about the light. On receiving a box of cigarettes, however, hebecame quite friendly.

  "Haven't had a pill for a week," he said. "Got to a point now where westeal the hay from the battery horses and roll it up in leaves from myBible. But it isn't really satisfying."

  Tish gave him a brief lecture on thus mutilating his best friend, but hesaid that he only used the unimportant pages. "You know," heexplained--"somebody begat somebody else, and that sort of thing. Youhaven't any more fags about you, have you?" he asked wistfully. "I'll besandbagged and robbed if I go back without any for the other fellows."

  "We can bring some," Tish suggested, "and you might show us to thetrenches. I particularly wish to give some to the men in the mostadvanced positions."

  "You're on," he said cheerfully. "Bring the life savers, and we'll seethat you get forward all right."

  Tish reflected.

  "Suppose," she said at last--"suppose that we wish to be able onreturning to our native land to state that we have not only been to ouradvanced positions but have even made a short excursion into thedebatable territory--that is, into what is commonly known as No Man'sLand?"

  "All of you?" he asked doubtfully.

  "All
of us."

  He then considered and said: "How many cigarettes have you got?"

  "About a hundred packages," Tish replied. "Say, five to you, and therest used where considered most efficacious."

  "Every man has his price," he observed. "That's mine. I'm taking achance, but I've seen you round, so I know you're not