Christopher's Journey: Sometimes it takes being lost to find yourself

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  "Merry Christmas everyone!" Mrs. Browley stated cheerfully the next morning when the entire family was dressed, downstairs and gathered around the table. She brought the coffee over and generously poured a cup for Mr. Browley, Chris and Hanna. Mason even began drinking a half cup in the morning. She spread out a beautiful display of eggs, bacon, sausage and cinnamon bread, fresh from the oven.

  “The Lord has blessed us, indeed.” she stated as she took her seat. Chris smiled to himself remembering his realization the night before. He knew it was true.

  “Who would like to say the blessing? Priscilla, Mason, Hanna?” Mrs. Browley looked around the table bypassing Chris.

  “I’ll do it.” Chris stammered out. Mrs. Browley’s eyes widened for only a split second as they met Mr. Browley’s. They instantly softened into a soft smile as she nodded for him to go on.

  Chris bowed his head, closed his eyes and said a quick, silent prayer for God to guide the words from his mouth. He’d never prayed out loud in front of other people in his entire life. These weren’t just any people, they were his family which made Chris relax and tense up all at the same time. He felt accepted and loved no matter what but still felt the need to impress them and show them who he really was.

  ‘I need the words, Lord.’ he repeated in his head while opening his mouth to speak.

  “Our dear Heavenly Father. We thank you for this lovely morning on the day your son was born, the son you brought here to Earth to save us from our sins. We are truly thankful for you, for Him and for everything you have blessed us all with. We thank you for this meal and for the opportunity that we all can be here together to enjoy it. Lord...” Chris paused. “I want to thank you for sending me here. Without this family’s love and acceptance I would not be sitting here, the man I am today. Please continue to give their hearts the glory and strength that I know you bestow upon them. Bless them every day in everyway you see fit for them to continue to help me through my transition and to continue to work your miracles. In Jesus name. Amen.”

  Chris allowed his head to stay bowed for a moment after the prayer. God had certainly helped with that prayer but Chris knew it was not spoken for him. He meant every word. The thought still surprised him that he had done such a thing but knew he wouldn’t have been able to without the grace that was being sprinkled onto him from above.

  Chris finally looked up to see Mrs. Browley wiping away tears with her apron. Mason and Priscilla were open mouthed but with a slight smile and Hanna’s face, oh Hanna’s beautiful face shone at him gleaming with pride.

  “That was truly touching, son.” Mr. Browley stated, patting Chris on the shoulder. “I can speak for all of us when we say that we feel blessed to have you with us and that you did stumble onto our path. It’s been a journey but it’s been worth it to see you transition into the man you are today. It is God’s work, surely.”

  Everyone spent a moment looking around at each other as if silently thanking God for each and every one.

  “Well, breakfast looks wonderful, we may as well enjoy it while it’s hot.” Mr. Browley finally said.

  After breakfast was consumed and cleaned up, the family gathered in the parlor and around the tree. The glimmering light flowing into the front window made the tree illuminate and almost sparkle. The window was covered with millions of patterns from the frost that gave a beautiful display. It had snowed a bit throughout the night, so the world they saw out that frosty window was fresh, white and pure. Spits of snowflakes still lingered in the air but the sun fought the clouds making it’s presence known in small spurts. When it did emerge, it shone with all of its might onto the fresh snow making it twinkle like thousands and thousands of glorious diamonds.

  ‘What splendor!’ Chris thought. ‘Have I been blind for nineteen years to not have seen such glory?’

  Under the tree were many packages. They were all wrapped in the same brown paper, tied with twine. Mr. Browley gave Priscilla the new shawl that he’d picked up in Shorlin. Mason, a new hunting knife. Hanna squealed with joy when she opened the new hair clips from her father. Mr. Browley waited until last to give his wife the beautiful cream and burgundy broach he’d carefully and lovingly picked out for her. Another tear escaped her eyes. “I declare, you boys are going to dry me up today.” she said with a sniffle.

  Chris had earlier collaborated with Mr. Browley and purchased a small leather pouch for Mason’s new knife. He got Priscilla a drawing tablet with some charcoal pencils and Mrs. Browley a new set of shiny knitting needles. He had also picked up some brand new work gloves for Mr. Browley.

  “You noticed mine were getting mighty worn. I was going to go pick some up next week. This is greatly appreciated, Chris. Thank you.” He stated.

  After Mrs. Browley received her new rolls of fabric and had given everyone their new Sunday sweaters she’d lovingly made throughout the year, they all sat back and took it all in. The gift of giving rather than receiving.

  “I’d love to sit here all day and relax but we have some animals to tend to, Mason.” Mr. Browley stated.

  “Priscilla, we have a lot of preparation work, still left in the kitchen for our dinner today. Why don’t we all get moving before we fall into a late morning nap.” Mrs. Browley said taking two tries to get out of her rocking chair.

  “Chris and Hanna. Why don’t you two take in the glory of the day and go for a walk.” Mr. Browley said with a wink and a quick glance to the missus who was trying to hide an enormous smile.

  “Well, that’s not fair that we have to work and they get to go for a walk.” Mason complained.

  “Son, silence yourself. We do our work with a happy heart, don’t we?”

  “Yes, sir.” Mason responded with shame in his voice.

  Hanna looked around the room, baffled but did not ask any questions. She got up and slipped on her snow boots and heavy shawl. She tied the knitted hat under her chin being careful that it covered her ears.

  When Chris was bundled up, they made their way out the door.

  “What was that all about?” she finally asked when they were in the field. Some stalks of wheat still stood above the snow that crunched under their feet.

  “They must have read my mind that I wanted to be alone with you.” Chris stated grabbing her icy hand.

  “Christopher.” she said with a doubtful look.

  Snow lined the log that spread across the river. Chris tried not to show his nerves as he was getting better at crossing the log but was unsure of how he’d handle it with a slippery substance resting on top. Falling into the river would be dangerous, now, rather than just an inconvenience. He worried for Hanna’s safety as well but as always, she crossed it like a pro.

  “I did want to be alone with you, Hanna.” Chris said, swinging her around. “I wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone or anything for that matter as I do for you.”

  “Oh, Christopher.” she said with moistened eyes.

  “I didn’t want you to be disappointed that I didn’t get you anything for Christmas but the reason I didn’t...”

  “Oh, Chris, it doesn’t matter.” Hanna cut in.

  “The reason I didn’t...” he continued. “was because I knew your gift would be brought to you by the forest fairy.”

  He waited for her reaction which seemed instantaneous. Her head whipped to the left toward the woods. A smile crept across her face. She lifted the bottom of her dress and began bounding into the woods like a delicate deer.

  She approached the ‘family tree’ and looked inside the hollow stump. Inside was a small box that was tied with pink ribbon.

  “May I?” Chris asked reaching for the box.

  Hanna nodded not being able to control her tears for much longer. When Chris bent down to retrieve the box, he stayed down on his knee raising the other to brac
e himself.

  “Hanna Browley, you have touched my life more than I ever could have imagined. I have loved you since the first day I laid my weary eyes upon you. You have changed me into the man I am and the man I’ve always longed to be. It would be nothing but a divine privilege if you’d do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

  The words flowed out as naturally as could be as he held up the box to Hanna. Her trembling fingers untied the pink bow and lifted the lid. Inside, resting on a square of cotton was a very small but beautiful shimmering engagement ring.

  “Christopher.” she said through a wall of tears. Chris rose up to her, inches from her face. “I love you too and it would be my honor to become your wife. But...”

  Chris’ smile slowly faded. She just stated that she loved him so what could possibly be the problem?

  “I cannot accept this until you’ve spoken to my pa.” she stated with worry spread across her face.

  “I’m sure he’d be perfectly fine with it, your ma too.” Chris said, returning to his full faced grin.

  “How could you possibly know that?” she asked.

  “Because that’s what they told me when I talked to them last week.” Chris stated with a sly voice.

  Hanna’s eyes snapped up to Chris’. “You already talked with both ma and pa? They said yes? We have their blessing?”

  Chris nodded. He took the ring from the box and held her left hand ready to place the ring on her finger. “Is that a yes, then?” he asked her.

  “Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes.” she replied, her entire face now stained with tears.

  Chris slipped the ring on her finger, a perfect fit, then embraced his fiancé, lifting her off her feet and twirling her around.

  All those years Chris spent Christmas alone in an undecorated, treeless, gift-less apartment with nothing but ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ on a small screened, black and white television seemed to melt away. Christmas now had a new meaning to Chris. Not only had he truly realized what the holiday meant with great thanks to the Lord. Learning that it felt better to give rather than receive but now would be filled with joyous memories of when he proposed to the girl of his dreams. The woman he planned to keep by his side to always care for her, always love and cherish her. To spend eternity with someone who truly loved him too and had helped him realize that the person he’d always wanted to be was within him the whole time.