Soul

  “No magic for us,” I said. “Or is there? Is it something you’re born with or something you learn?”

  His face lit up. “It’s in the blood. Royal bloodlines can always become royalty again because the power they inherit is so pure and powerful. Lesser fae are born with some magic, but other fae have overbred and diluted their magic. Royalty rarely procreate for this reason. The title itself provides a large amount of power because those who swear fealty provide an energy source. Fae like Brendan are already superior to the rest of us at birth, but when they take the throne, they become far harder to remove.”

  “Brendan said he was the most powerful fae when he was born. How?”

  “Because both of his parents were royal, although it was partly an accident of birth. In the old days, royals would have a child with a human when the time came, usually the kings, but sometimes queens, too. Some thought that this would ensure the child could never be more powerful than the parent, but it was unpredictable. The child would have the fae power of their parents in its purest, rawest forms. There was no telling how weak or strong they would be once they reached maturity.” He shrugged. “Brendan’s parents wed for love. Pure fae births of that kind can be dangerous, but they survived, and he had power from both his parents combined. When he came into his true power, people thought him unstoppable. But that’s never true, Cara. There’s always a way out.”

  “Like murder?” I said, staring at him.

  “You would have done the same,” he said. “If you saw what we saw, went through what we went through, you would have—”

  “Every time my father insulted me, shouted at me, and put his hands on me, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted bad things to happen to him. But I didn’t do anything because I knew it would be worse for everyone if I did. Did you know what would happen when she died?”

  He frowned. “Not everything. I thought we would be free. We’ll never be free. I see that now.”

  “But why? Why can’t a fae like you be king?”

  He burst out laughing but sobered quickly. “That’s impossible. My kind has the weakest sort of bloodlines. Our mothers have litters, and each has less power than the last. The king’s parents were smart enough to conserve their power into a single offspring.”

  “But it’ll run out eventually? Like, Brendan’s child will be weaker than him, and so on?”

  He flinched.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yes, I… I’m fine. Brendan’s offspring might be weaker or just as strong. That depends on the mother as well as the traits inherited. He might have a number of children and choose the strongest as his heir. That’s not unheard of.”

  “But there are no queens,” I said. “So his power will be diluted, right?”

  “It is… likely.” He and Realtín exchanged a glance.

  “What if he didn’t have a child?” I asked. “If he had no heir, then what would happen?”

  “He would choose an heir, unless he was murdered first. When he was first banished, there was no heir. Chaos reigned until new royals were chosen, just as it is now. The parents of the twin queens were more powerful than most fae, but still not as powerful as Brendan.”

  “But what’s the difference? You two can do magic, right?”

  “We can,” Realtín said. “But we’re under the rule of the king we swear fealty to. He is more powerful because of us, but we aren’t because of him.”

  “And our magic can be easily overridden by a stronger fae,” Grim added.

  “How do the solitary fae really figure in to all of this?”

  Realtín cannon-balled onto the bed. “They’re the opposite of us trooping fae. We stick together and have courts, but they live wherever they want. Some in the fae realm, but most in the human one.”

  “Their power is dependent on things other than their loyalty,” Grim added.

  “But they’re naturally less powerful, and Brendan’s stuck in a solitary fae body, so he’s not as powerful as before?”

  “That’s a simplified version, but yes,” Grim said. “That will change when his kingship is official again.”

  “Do you think Drake has the power to stay?”

  “The magic that holds Drake is almost like a blood-tie. The magic holding Brendan is just as powerful. It would take a greater being to help Drake now. Brendan will grow in power enough to help him, but it will be too late by then.”

  I paced the floor. “That’s so frustrating. Drake’s stuck around this long. Maybe he’ll be different.”

  “He’s very, very lucky,” Realtín said. “You could make a difference, but you would need to work quickly. There are still no guarantees.”

  “She’s right,” Grim said. “This kind of thing isn’t known to happen. It’s a struggle for Drake now, but having a sworn-in powerful king in his body will be like trying to contain the sun in a fireplace. It’s too much.”

  “There has to be something I can do.”

  “We like Drake,” Realtín said, “but we can’t go against our king.”

  “But you’ve thought about it?”

  Grim patted my hand. “Drake is a rarity. We don’t know who his family are or what his power stems from. We don’t know how he’s able to fight off Brendan at all. There’s the theory that you’re anchoring him here somehow, but you didn’t know him before, did you?”

  I shook my head, feeling ill.

  He smiled. “Maybe the whisper of a promise of what might come was enough for both of you. Saving a life is a sacred thing, and you believe he saved yours. In old traditions, your life is his now, but with Brendan on the scene, Drake’s life is in your hands, too. I don’t envy either of you.”

  “Do you think there’s fae in me? I mean really, not just some distant ancestor. Do you think something passed on to me?”

  Realtín flew over and sat on my head, gripping my hair to hang on while I continued pacing. “I think so. Grim isn’t sure yet. But you’ve pulled some magic on the king.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Hush now,” Grim said sharply. “Don’t confuse her.”

  They ignored me then, arguing rapidly under their breaths. I tried to study again, but I couldn’t concentrate. It was almost like being at home. I knew something bad could happen at any moment, but I also knew that there was nothing I could do about it.

  I heard a hiss and looked out the door to see the black cat spitting at the bodyguard. The guard aimed a kick, but I rammed my elbow into him hard enough to send him off balance. His hand went to his sword, but he recognised me and stopped, although his eyes seethed with his anger.

  “Leave it alone,” I said fiercely.

  I bent to pick up the cat, praying it wouldn’t scratch my face off. It huddled in my arms like a baby. The guard grunted as I passed. I closed the door behind me and let the cat free.

  “What are you doing with that?” Realtín asked.

  “The stupid arse of a Neanderthal standing outside my door was trying to hurt it.”

  Realtín made a face. “Ooookay.”

  The cat jumped on my bed and waited for me to sit. Then, he immediately climbed onto my shoulder and fell asleep draped over me. Again, I felt comforted by his presence and wondered if maybe he was lost and stuck on fae property. Just like me.

  I missed my friends. I missed my mother. I wanted normality, just for a little while, and if I did die, there were some things I wanted to do first.

  “Where’s Brendan?” I asked, absentmindedly stroking the cat.

  “Downstairs in meetings,” Realtín said. “Why?”

  “I want to ask him something.”

  The sprite giggled. “I need to see this. Come on.”

  She stuck her tongue out at Grim and flew to the door. We headed downstairs to Brendan’s office. I could hear him shouting before we even got close. The perverse side of me decided it was a good time to interrupt. I rapped on the door, hesitated, then let myself in.

  Everyone in the room stared at me in shock—except So
rcha, who looked as though she wanted to murder me right then and there.

  “Um, can I speak to you for a minute?” I asked as sweetly as possible. “My lord,” I added with a little bow of my head.

  Realtín’s hysterical giggles from the hall were abruptly silenced, probably by Grim’s hand.

  Brendan took a deep breath. “Yes.” He stood and followed me out, slamming the door behind him. He rested his forehead against the wall and took a few more breaths.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, forgetting I was still annoyed with him. I actually felt sorry for him.

  “I’ve forgotten how absolutely infuriating faery politics are, especially when you’re on the brink of power but don’t quite have it yet. I want to rip heads from bodies, but I have to play nice. For now.” He turned to lean his back against the wall and grimaced. “You have excellent timing. What do you want?”

  “I need to get out of here. I can only study so much, and being around so many fae all of the freaking time is exhausting. I’m losing my mind, and you need me non-insane at this ceremony, right?”

  He shook his head. “I can’t let you go home.”

  “I know. I just need to get out of this house every now and then. Any time I try to go for a run in the garden, they all gather around and watch me like creepy weirdos. It’s the opposite of getting some space. So I want a human night out with my friends before I go absolutely mental.”

  “And what would you do with these human friends?”

  “Drink. Dance. Relax. Have fun.”

  He stared at me until I grew uncomfortable. “Is there some other reason?” he asked.

  “Um, no.”

  “Cara…”

  “Okay, fine!” I lowered my voice. “It’s my birthday soon. I always celebrate my birthday with Zoe. It’s a thing. And I could die at any moment, so it would be really great to get this particular birthday out of the way first. So can I go? Please.”

  “Ah. A birthday is a powerful thing. What age will you be?”

  “Twenty-one.”

  “So young?”

  “I look older?”

  “You feel older.”

  I folded my arms across my chest. “Excuse me?”

  He grinned and poked a finger at my forehead. “You feel like an old soul, not a child.”

  The office door opened, and Sorcha joined us, her eyes stormy in their anger. “We need you,” she said pointedly.

  “In a moment. Cara, I’ll make a deal with you. You accompany me to a fae party tomorrow night, and I will join you on your human night of fun.”

  Sorcha made a choking noise. “You cannot be serious. We have to gather your allies. She is poison. She can’t be there.”

  “Of course I’ll come,” I said, mostly to annoy Sorcha. I couldn’t realistically threaten her family with death and terror, but I could piss her off whenever I found a chance.

  Brendan smiled. “Good. Sorcha, go back inside and entertain our guests for a few moments.”

  With a red face, she stomped back into the office.

  “Do you really want me to go to your party thing?” I asked.

  He hesitated. “I said it partly in jest, but yes, if you’re there by my side, then perhaps nobody will force me into any business discussions, and I am heartily sick of business. I’m curious about your human night, and if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you have one without me.” He kissed my cheek and returned to his office.

  “That was… odd,” Grim whispered.

  I was too busy staring after Brendan to answer.

  ***

  I ignored the blatant faery stares and pulled up my hood.

  “Not again,” Realtín complained. “It’s too early and cold for this.” She gave a dramatic shiver and wrapped her arms around her body.

  “If I don’t run, I’ll go crazy in there,” I said. “Just sit on a bush or something and wait for me. He can’t expect you to shadow me everywhere.”

  “Didn’t you say you have an assignment to finish before school? That’s why you got up so early,” she said.

  I started stretching my legs. “That’s why I need to run. I can’t concentrate for long. Getting outside helps. Just sit over there, and I promise not to run far. I’ll circle you, okay?”

  Grim and Realtín exchanged bemused glances before agreeing. I sighed with relief. Hearing Realtín in my ear kind of took the good out of going for a run.

  I raised the volume on my music, started jogging, and focused on the run. If I tried, I could block out the gathering of faeries who came outside to watch whenever I ran. I had assumed going out so early would have lessened the numbers, but apparently, I misjudged. By the time I passed Grim and Realtín’s bored faces three times, I had upped my pace and my heart beat loudly. I loved that. It reminded me I still existed.

  Grim and Realtín were nowhere to be seen when I did a fourth pass. I glanced around to see that the garden had been cleared. I was about to panic when Brendan appeared and ran alongside me.

  I ripped out my earbuds. “Oh, what now?”

  “I decided to see what all of the fuss was about. Am I being a… creepy weirdo now?”

  I laughed in spite of myself. “You’re always a creepy weirdo, King Brendan.” I sped up a little.

  He kept up easily. “This is what you’ve been doing out here? Running in circles?”

  “The circle is to stop Realtín from complaining about having to keep up,” I said, annoyed by how much easier it was for him to talk without breathing heavily. “The running is to stop me from losing my mind.”

  “How so?”

  My legs hurt already. “Helps me think. Or not think. Whatever. If it’s not challenging then shut up and beat me already.” I kicked his ankle, tripped him up and raced ahead, giggling at his swears as I turned off the path.

  I stretched my legs as I ran, every muscle tightening and straining. The sounds of my footsteps, the feeling I might fall over if I so much as slowed down—I was finally running. Brendan’s footsteps behind me only urged me on, and I sprinted as fast as I could, determined not to let some faery beat me.

  A stitch poked my side, and I struggled to breathe. But the garden was long, and I raced past the rose bushes, feeling as though if I could just make it past the arch, everything would be okay. If I could make it past just one hurdle, nothing else would matter. I pushed myself, struggling to maintain the pace. The arch flew past, and then Brendan’s arms were wrapped around my waist, hauling me into the air and dropping me before he raced ahead.

  I scrambled to my feet and chased after him. “You cheater!”

  He glanced over his shoulder at me, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “You started it, human.”

  I caught up with him, laughing so hard that I couldn’t beat him. He slowed, grinning, and I shoved him into a rose bush. I jogged a few steps away, unable to breathe around the laughter. I doubled over before sinking to my knees. The king threw rose petals at me, but he was laughing, too. I sucked in a breath, aching from the exertion and laughter.

  “You can’t be trusted,” he said, sitting on the ground and breathing heavily.

  “Look who’s talking.” I panted, lying on my back in an effort to slow my heartbeat. I looked over at him. “You’ll feel worse for sitting down.”

  He groaned. “I’ll have someone carry me back.”

  “You need to cool down properly,” I said, reluctantly getting to my feet. I helped him up. “Stretch your legs at the very least.”

  I made him walk back to the house with me. “You can’t make somebody carry you,” I scoffed. “What kind of king are you?”

  “What kind of human are you? Challenging a faery to a race. You lost, by the way.”

  “The arch was the finish point,” I lied. “I won.”

  “I let you win.”

  “You’re not supposed to be able to lie.”

  “And you’re an idiot to believe that,” he said, grinning. “I hope you won’t be too tired for the festivities this evening.”

&
nbsp; “That was just a warm-up run for me.”

  He looked at me, his eyes soft. “I think I see the point now, Cara. I forgot everything. For just a moment, nothing else mattered. It reminded me of… other days.”

  He fell silent, but it was too late. He reminded me of a normal person, somebody I might have found a friend in if we had both been human. I readjusted my ponytail, my train of thought leading me to places I couldn’t afford to go. Brendan’s cheeks were pink, but he had recovered far quicker than I did.

  He reached out and picked up an earbud hanging out of my jumper, forcing me to stop walking. He moved closer to me, held the earbud to his ear, and smiled. “This is the music you like?”

  I shrugged, uncomfortable by the lack of space between us when I was sweating like a pig. “It’s what I like to run to.”

  “Chaotic,” he said, his usual confident grin returning. “I think I like it.”

  On a whim, I took out my mp3 player and handed it to him, earbuds and all. “Have a lend of it then.” I gave him a quick overview on what buttons to press.

  His smile widened, making him look younger. “Thank you.”

  I bit my lip, unsure of what to do next.

  He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the house. “I should return to… everything.”

  “Yeah.”

  He hesitated before taking my hand and squeezing it. I inwardly cringed at how sweaty my skin must have felt.

  “Thank you for the race.” He turned abruptly and left me standing there alone.

  A tiny stream of light flew out from behind a bush and headed straight for my shoulder.

  “What are you doing to the king?” Realtín whispered.

  I stared after him, my insides swirling. “I have no idea.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Neither Brendan nor Drake accompanied me to my classes that day. Grim told me the king was too busy preparing to host the party, but I wondered if maybe he was avoiding me, or if Drake had refused because he was angry with me.

  I still didn’t know what to think. Ronnie’s fear had been real, and Drake had lived so long that he had probably done plenty of things I couldn’t stomach. In contrast, Brendan was so playful that I couldn’t imagine his darker side being as extreme.