Soul

  “Think quickly,” she said. “It’s almost time. The pixies will bring your outfit soon, then the guards will escort you to… well, you’ll see.” She flounced out of the room.

  I barely had a chance to take a breath before a pack of pixies stormed in and began ripping at my clothes with their clawed fingernails. The pixies weren’t like Brendan’s, and I wondered what the difference was. They made me wear a kind of red armoured leather-looking thing over a T-shirt and shorts. But the armour was far heavier than leather.

  “Oh, yeah,” I said. “Because this doesn’t make me stand out in a crowd.”

  They ignored me. The clothes were heavy, and I moved so slowly that two of the fae grabbed my arms and half-dragged me outside.

  We stopped at an enormous white horse. The fae worked together to lift me onto its back. My thighs ached from the stretch.

  “Keep a firm hold of the bridle,” the silver-eyed woman shouted at the fae.

  The horse trembled and snorted as if dying to race away.

  “I haven’t actually ridden a horse before,” I said. “When can I get down?”

  “When the hunt begins,” she said, her eyes glowing.

  They led me back toward camp, but we didn’t pass Brendan’s tent. He and my friends were gathered where the feasts were held. He carried a huge bow across his shoulder, and his jaw was clenched.

  I gazed pleadingly at my usual companions, but none of them smiled. They probably couldn’t see my face through the stupid helmet anyway.

  “The hunt will begin shortly,” Silver Eyes called out, resulting in many cheers.

  “Explain yourself,” Brendan said through gritted teeth. “What right have you to steal from me?”

  Silver Eyes waved her fingers in Brendan’s direction, refusing to look at him. “This belongs to all of us. The human has a right to freedom, and Sadler has the right to silence her. You may win her back, but only if you deserve her. That’s why we’re here—to find a king. Whoever wins decides if she speaks or not, and if she escapes, she’s lost to the fae forever.”

  “You can’t let him hunt her down,” Brendan spat.

  Realtín spun around his head, streams of red and gold light emanating from her because of her obvious distress.

  “It’s time for her to leave.” Silver Eyes patted the horse’s rump. “She gets a head start.”

  “There is no fairness in this,” Brendan protested.

  “There is no fairness in a second chance at life, but here we are,” she replied, slapping the horse.

  I clung to the reins, digging my knees in frantically as the horse reared. The world threatened to turn upside down, but then it straightened, and the stallion ran.

  “Get off the horse!” Realtín screamed, flying after me. “Don’t stay on the horse!”

  I looked behind me in terror, only to see someone snag Realtín out of the sky with a net. I was on my own. The horse plunged through the forest. Maybe I could avoid Deorad and try to find Brendan myself. After all, the horse had to be able to outrun a half-human fae.

  But when I tried to control the horse, steer it, slow it down, anything, it ignored me. It kept racing as if it knew exactly where it was going. I held the reins tighter. Terrified of being knocked off by an overhead branch, I stayed low to the horse’s neck, almost giddy at the speed we were galloping.

  “Let go!” someone yelled.

  I glanced around and saw no one. Looking up, I almost fell off the horse as a golden-haired, naked woman kneeling on a tree branch came into view.

  “Feet out of the stirrups,” she cried as I passed her. “Roll off.”

  “Are you fucking crazy?” I screamed. Stupid faery was trying to get me killed.

  I didn’t spot anyone else, and finally, we left the forest and came upon a sandy beach.

  “Oh, holy fucking shit,” I whispered as memories tugged at my gut.

  We were heading directly for the sea, and the horse wasn’t going to stop. I kicked my feet out of the stirrups and tried to prepare myself to jump. I hesitated, and the ocean came upon us frighteningly quickly. As the horse’s forelock was dampened by the sea, a black cat came out of nowhere and jumped onto the horse’s back.

  Startled, I dropped the reins. The cat slashed at me with its claws, and I leaned back, losing my balance and falling off the horse as it dove beneath the waves. I went into the water and sank with the weight of the armour.

  Panicking, I opened my mouth to scream and sucked in salt water. I scrambled for freedom, but there was no release, only darkness and pain in my chest.

  Hands grabbed me and pulled me up and out of the water. Someone tore off my helmet.

  “We need to get it all off!” the naked woman yelled.

  I tried to help, but everything I wore had been fastened at the back, and I couldn’t reach. “It’s too heavy.”

  The woman half-dragged me closer to shore. She tugged at the armour with my feeble help, and a few minutes later, I was free. We stumbled onto the sand, both coughing up water, her naked and me in soaking wet shorts and a T-shirt. I threw myself on the sand and tried to catch my breath.

  “You can’t,” she said. “Sadler will know to send Deorad here. You can’t rest yet.”

  “I can’t run around like this; I’m going to freeze. Why are you naked? Who are you?” I hesitated. “Are you… are you the freaking cat?”

  “Yes, I’m the cat. Now will you please hurry?” She grabbed my hand.

  I let her lead me back into the forest. She stopped a few yards in and pointed at a tree.

  “Wait here,” she whispered. “I’ll be better able to see as a cat. Don’t move.”

  She turned into a cat and raced away, jumping onto tree branches as if she had been born to do it. I could do nothing but stare after her with my mouth hanging open.

  She returned a few minutes later, once again a naked woman. “I can help you escape,” she said.

  “But why would you? Who are you? I don’t understand.”

  “Quick version is that I was cursed to be the cat familiar of the leanan sídhe. When Sadler sent her to the Fade, I had no choice but to watch over her descendants. I watched over many, including your mother before you, but without the leanan sídhe’s guidance, the others didn’t survive, and you are the last.”

  A million thoughts flew through my mind in the seconds that followed. I latched on to one only. “You watched over my mother? Then why did you let her get raped?” I shouted, my anger blooming.

  “Quiet! The line was diluted. Her child had no fae at all. The leanan sídhe would die out. The man who came to the house was part-fae himself. I had to let it happen. She had to have a child like you.”

  I stepped away from her in horror. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

  “We don’t have time for this. I can help you leave.”

  “I can’t leave. They need me. You let me be brought here. Why the hell do you want me to leave now?”

  She bit her lip, looking worried. “I… it was supposed to happen differently. I don’t know what’s gone wrong. But it’s too dangerous. If Sadler kills you, the line is gone. Even if you have a child with a human, there’s still a chance the leanan sídhe will live on, and that’s the only way she can—”

  “I don’t give a shit about the leanan sídhe,” I spat. “I don’t know what it means, and I don’t care. I have to find Brendan before Deorad finds me.”

  She hesitated then nodded. “I’ll help you.”

  “I don’t believe you.” I ran through the trees, branches and twigs scratching my bare legs. I needed clothes, weapons, time, something, anything. The fae would kill me, and I had a chance to escape, yet I had left the one person willing to help me leave.

  I turned back before I changed my mind. I found the woman still standing in the same spot. “How do I get out of here?”

  “Follow the sun until you get to the cave,” she said. “You can leave through there.”

  I nodded and ran. I had no hope of findin
g Brendan, so I had to do what I could to avoid Deorad instead. If that meant escaping, it was better than dying. Probably.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  I kept moving, thinking about that bow Brendan had been carrying. If Deorad was coming after me with a bow, then I wanted to be a moving target. After all, he was half-human, too. Maybe he wasn’t quite fae enough. Then again, neither was Brendan as long as he was in Drake’s body. Maybe I still stood a chance at surviving the fae’s messed-up games.

  I entered a clearing and looked up at the hillside. I spotted the cave. Whether the cat woman had been truthful or not didn’t matter. I just needed someplace to go.

  I sprinted across the clearing, my sides aching, thankful I was in good shape. I heard footsteps behind me and upped my pace, but a firm hand caught me around my waist as another smothered my curse of indignation.

  “Hush,” Brendan said. “Why are you wet?”

  He let go, and I whirled around to face him, but he was too close, and there was a tree at my back.

  “I didn’t go willingly,” I said.

  “I take it you didn’t get off the horse voluntarily either.”

  “No. A cat… pushed me.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “Did she? Brave cat. Where is she? She was supposed to lead you to the cave.”

  “You sent her?”

  “No. She would have followed you regardless. I just made sure I knew her plans.”

  I stared at him, still panting. I couldn’t read a thing in those green eyes. “She said the cave was a way out. For me to leave.”

  “She didn’t lie. Go. I’ll keep him off your back.”

  “But you have me. You won.”

  “You think Sadler cares about any of this? They gave you a way out. Take it.”

  “But what about—”

  “I still have a chance. Now you have a chance to be free.” He hesitated. “You should take it, Cara.”

  “But what about Grim and… and everyone? I just—”

  “I’ll make sure they’re safe. No matter what happens, they’re free, too. You can start a new life. No fae to wreck your happiness this time. No Sadler coming after you again.”

  He moved aside to let me pass. I couldn’t believe it. The entire time he had forced me to stay with him, and he was just letting me leave. I shook my head.

  He gently pushed me. “Go. Before it’s too late. You don’t belong here.”

  Drake had said the same words on that very first night. That made up my mind. I walked away. If the fae didn’t pester me, knowingly or not, everything would change. Everyone around me would be safe. I could let myself feel like a normal person again.

  I took a couple of steps and looked back one last time, to steal one last glance at the fae who had changed everything. Whether he looked back at me with green eyes or violet, that fae had turned my life into something completely different.

  He was still staring after me as though he couldn’t quite believe I was going, and I couldn’t bring myself to take one more step away from him. So I took a step back toward him instead.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of black leaping across branches. The cat’s yowl registered before I really heard the sound, but my brain recognised the warning. I didn’t even realise I was moving until I had almost reached Brendan. Deorad stepped into the clearing, an arrow aimed at Brendan’s heart. I shouted a warning, but Brendan only stared at the near-perfect reflection of his own face.

  “Royal blood,” Brendan said. “No wonder…”

  Deorad loosed the arrow toward his son’s body. The hiss jerked me into action. I shoved Brendan as hard as I could. He teetered and almost fell.

  The arrow hit me in the chest. I felt no pain, just a heaviness in my chest. Brendan reached for me, but I slipped out of his hands and fell to the ground.

  Brendan flung a dagger, but Deorad was gone. Brendan knelt and gathered me into his arms. I coughed, spraying his face with blood. He looked horrified, as lost as a child.

  I almost laughed, but the pain in my chest burned too much. “Wings.”

  “I don’t… why did you do that, Cara? You were almost free. He would have…” He leaned closer. “Who did you mean to save? Me or him?”

  “Neither,” I croaked, the pain easing. I wondered if I was dying.

  The tree branches swayed toward us behind Brendan’s back.

  I closed my eyes, feeling a sense of calm that I had never experienced in my life. “Everyone. They need a king. Need… you.”

  I felt weightless, as if I were floating on water, easing away with the tide. I could have been on that horse’s back still, could have…

  Then I realised I could feel actual water trickling across my toes. I opened my eyes, confused. I stared up at the fae sun, but the trees around me were different. My feet really were underwater, resting in a brook, and Brendan was gone. I was alone, and there was no arrow in my chest.

  “Did I die?” I whispered, sitting up.

  A tree across the brook moved, and I heard a little laugh.

  “Not yet.” The tree turned and revealed itself to be a strange old woman with dark brown eyes. “Come. Sit with me.”

  I stood and stepped across the brook. Tiny fish darted around my feet. “Where am I?”

  “Is the pain gone?” she asked. “I admit, I left it a little too long to end the charade. Your king must think himself insane by now.” She laughed. “I was not inclined to let you die. Brendan won, after all. Sadler cheated, but that was expected. His heart is full of hate still. And you… you think to save the fae from themselves?”

  “Not just the fae. If there’s a good leader, maybe the humans will be safer.”

  “Ah, so a selfish quest.”

  “I’m not on a quest. I just…”

  She passed me a cup of liquid. I took it, not intending to drink, even though I was thirstier than I had ever been.

  “Drink,” she commanded. “You need it. You lost a lot of blood.”

  “There really was an arrow?”

  “There’s always an arrow,” she said. “I was there, and I stepped in, but I was almost too late. You’re perfectly fine, but you need some nourishment. He was going to let you go. All of that trouble, and he stepped aside. Is it madness that has taken him?”

  I stared at her, unsure of what to say.

  “And there you were, taking a step back even before you saw the threat. I can’t tell if you’re brave or dim-witted. And I smell a flower on you, one that grows only in one place, a sacred place that you should not be able to visit. Tell me how it is so.”

  “I… I don’t know.”

  “You didn’t pray? You didn’t visit the grotto?”

  “Ah,” I said. “A friend took me.”

  “Not Brendan. He shunned the Mother a long time ago. Who then?”

  “A… daughter.” I bit my lip. “I needed help, so she took me. I stepped through the arch and knelt at the fountain, and I… well, I talked to my brother. Kind of.”

  “Hmm. He’s passed?”

  “The fae made him… he hurt himself a long time ago.”

  “You received an answer in the grotto I tend. You spark the favour of deities believed to have turned their backs on us, you who have barely been touched by the fae in your heritage.”

  “I’m sorry if I did something wrong,” I said. “But it helped. Being there.”

  “A long time ago, I truly believed I had seen everything. Brighid teaches me still. I tell you, girl, I am not fond of your king, but I cannot deny he was truthful this once. Your word is unbiased. You are quite the innocent after all.” She nodded and raised her voice to say, “Tell them she’s clean, and her mind is clear. I give my blessing to this one. As does the Mother herself.”

  I looked over my shoulder to see who she was addressing. A tiny fae male beckoned me to cross the brook.

  “Wait,” I said, feeling desperate. “Is there a way for me to remember if they try to take it all away? Once this is over, will I be
able to remember him? Them?”

  She gave a little chuckle. “Oh, you’ll remember. That much is certain.”

  I crossed the brook then turned to look back at the woman, but all I saw were trees. The faery led me down a winding path. If I concentrated, I could feel those tremors under my feet, those tiny murmurs of magic that always existed, if one knew where to look.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “Back,” was the only reply.

  We walked for an age, and then it was as if a door had been opened into another world, because voices filled the air as if switched on suddenly. The tiny fae led me to the festival area, where everyone had gathered. Brendan’s followers were silent, but the relief I felt when I saw my fae companions was unfathomable. Walking away from Brendan in that clearing had been hard. Believing I would never see any of them again had been a strange kind of torture. All of that struggling, and when freedom had finally been handed to me, I felt as though something had been ripped from my heart.

  Everyone turned to us, and a ripple of sound broke out amongst those watching.

  The small fae who had led me cleared his throat. “She’s clean. Her mind is clear. The hedge-witch is in agreement and gives her blessing, as does the Mother. The child will speak, and her words will be listened to. After, the final vote begins.”

  A flurry of excitement rippled through the gathering.

  “Cara!” A tiny figure barrelled into my neck, and the others followed Realtín to greet me.

  Brendan was the last to approach, and when he did, I saw that he was still covered in my blood. His fingers twitched, and there was a strange look on his face I had never seen on him. He closed the space between us, but he didn’t touch me. He looked as though he were seeing a ghost.

  “It wasn’t real,” I said.

  “I felt your heart slowing,” he whispered. “I saw your lifeblood seep out of you. And I did nothing to stop him because…” He shook his head.

  “I know,” I said. “He looks just like Drake.”

  “His father,” he said. “I made a promise to kill the son of the man I need to make peace with. What game are the gods playing with us now?”