The Works of Henry Fielding, vol. 11

  Chapter xiv.

  _Adventures in the person of a monk._

  "Fortune now placed me in the character of a younger brother of a goodhouse, and I was in my youth sent to school; but learning was now at solow an ebb, that my master himself could hardly construe a sentence ofLatin; and as for Greek, he could not read it. With very littleknowledge therefore, and with altogether as little virtue, I was setapart for the church, and at the proper age commenced monk. I lived manyyears retired in a cell, a life very agreeable to the gloominess of mytemper, which was much inclined to despise the world; that is, in otherwords, to envy all men of superior fortune and qualifications, and ingeneral to hate and detest the human species. Notwithstanding which, Icould, on proper occasions, submit to flatter the vilest fellow innature, which I did one Stephen, an eunuch, a favourite of the emperorJustinian II., one of the wickedest wretches whom perhaps the world eversaw. I not only wrote a panegyric on this man, but I commended him as apattern to all others in my sermons; by which means I so greatlyingratiated myself with him, that he introduced me to the emperor'spresence, where I prevailed so far by the same methods, that I wasshortly taken from my cell, and preferred to a place at court. I was nosooner established in the favour of Justinian than I prompted him to allkind of cruelty. As I was of a sour morose temper, and hated nothingmore than the symptoms of happiness appearing in any countenance, Irepresented all kind of diversion and amusement as the most horrid sins.I inveighed against chearfulness as levity, and encouraged nothing butgravity, or, to confess the truth to you, hypocrisy. The unhappyemperor followed my advice, and incensed the people by such repeatedbarbarities, that he was at last deposed by them and banished.

  "I now retired again to my cell (for historians mistake in saying I wasput to death), where I remained safe from the danger of the irritatedmob, whom I cursed in my own heart as much as they could curse me.

  "Justinian, after three years of his banishment, returned toConstantinople in disguise, and paid me a visit. I at first affected notto know him, and without the least compunction of gratitude for hisformer favours, intended not to receive him, till a thought immediatelysuggesting itself to me how I might convert him to my advantage, Ipretended to recollect him; and, blaming the shortness of my memory andbadness of my eyes, I sprung forward and embraced him with greataffection.

  "My design was to betray him to Apsimar, who, I doubted not, wouldgenerously reward such a service. I therefore very earnestly requestedhim to spend the whole evening with me; to which he consented. I formedan excuse for leaving him a few minutes, and ran away to the palace toacquaint Apsimar with the guest whom I had then in my cell. He presentlyordered a guard to go with me and seize him; but, whether the length ofmy stay gave him any suspicion, or whether he changed his purpose aftermy departure, I know not; for at my return we found he had given us theslip; nor could we with the most diligent search discover him.

  "Apsimar, being disappointed of his prey, now raged at me; at firstdenouncing the most dreadful vengeance if I did not produce the deposedmonarch. However, by soothing his passion when at the highest, andafterwards by canting and flattery, I made a shift to escape his fury.

  "When Justinian was restored I very confidently went to wish him joy ofhis restoration: but it seems he had unfortunately heard of mytreachery, so that he at first received me coldly, and afterwardsupbraided me openly with what I had done. I persevered stoutly indenying it, as I knew no evidence could be produced against me; till,finding him irreconcilable, I betook myself to reviling him in mysermons, and on every other occasion, as an enemy to the church and goodmen, and as an infidel, a heretic, an atheist, a heathen, and an Arian.This I did immediately on his return, and before he gave those flagrantproofs of his inhumanity which afterwards sufficiently verified all Ihad said.

  "Luckily I died on the same day when a great number of those forceswhich Justinian had sent against the Thracian Bosphorus, and who hadexecuted such unheard-of cruelties there, perished. As every one ofthese was cast into the bottomless pit, Minos was so tired withcondemnation, that he proclaimed that all present who had not beenconcerned in that bloody expedition might, if they pleased, return tothe other world. I took him at his word, and, presently turning about,began my journey."