The King of Custard Castle
* * *
Bella had another busy day. She was putting away all Fifi’s things. She put:
Fifi’s toast in the bath
her ribbons in the teapot
her Bumper Book of Princes in the dog-kennel
her tennis balls up the chimney
her chocolates in the cupboard under the stairs
her jigsaw in the oven
and her bedtime cocoa in the roller boots.
Princess Fifi had a very busy day. She had to hunt down everything that Bella had tidied up.
Her ribbons were nearly as soggy as her toast. Her jigsaw was burnt to a cinder. Her tennis balls were stuck in the chimney. The Bumper Book of Princes was covered in tooth-marks and doggy dribble.
And in the cupboard under the stairs, she found an empty chocolate box and a very happy dragon.
“I’ve had enough!” she wailed, tipping cocoa out of her roller boots. “I’m exhausted! I’ve spent all day tidying up! Where’s my nightie?”
“In the fish-pond,” answered Bella.
“Oh, no!” The Princess fell on the bed in all her clothes. “Hasn’t your memory come back yet?” she groaned.
“Not yet.”
“I hope it comes back soon!”
“I’m sure it will,” said Bella, “as long as you keep on showing me where everything ought to go. It might just take a few more weeks.”
Princess Fifi didn’t reply. She began to snore.
Bella smiled, and tiptoed out of Fifi’s perfectly tidy room.
The Marvellous Moat
Princess Fifi was reading to the King from her Bumper Book of Princes.
“Prince Peregrine has the finest castle in the land,” she read.
“Hah!” said the King. “I bet it’s not as fine as Custard Castle.”
“His castle has the tallest tower in the land,” read Fifi.
“Hah!” said the King. “I bet it’s not as tall as Wizard Watchit’s tower.”
“Prince Peregrine is very proud of his new moat,” read Princess Fifi. “It is the most marvellous moat for miles around.”
“Hah!” said the King. “I bet it’s–” He stopped. “Hang on. We don’t have a moat. Why don’t we have a moat?”
“We’ve never had one, dear,” the Queen replied.
“But we can’t let Prince Peregrine get the better of us! We need a moat. I’ll start drawing up plans for one right away. ”
“Oh, good!” said the Queen. “I can do the plumbing.”
“Oh, good!” said Fifi. “I can have a fancy boat.”
“And Wizard Watchit can make a drawbridge,” said the King.
So the King drew enormous plans in blue ink for his new moat. Then he hired workmen to dig a wide, deep ditch right around the castle.
The Queen did the plumbing. She built a long pipeline from a nearby stream all the way to the ditch. Water began to pour in and fill it up.
Princess Fifi got a boat. She painted it purple and covered it with ribbons and bows. Before long, there was enough water for her to practise rowing.
The Wizard had no idea how to make a drawbridge. So he got Jack the servant boy to saw up a few planks and put them across the moat.
“Wonderful!” said the King, rubbing his hands. “This is a marvellous moat! The only thing that spoils it is that bridge of yours, Wizard.”
It was not a very good bridge. But the Queen’s pipes worked very well. Water poured swiftly into the moat. Soon it was completely full.
“That’s enough water now,” the King said. “You can turn the tap off.”
“Tap?” said the Queen. “There isn’t a tap.”
“What? You didn’t make a tap? The moat will flood!” exclaimed the King.
“No, it won’t. Just pull the plug out,” said the Queen.
“Plug?” yelled the King. “There isn’t a plug!”
“What? You didn’t make a plug?” the Queen exclaimed.
“Of course I didn’t! It’s a moat, not a bath-tub!”
“Uh-oh,” said the Queen. “Then we’re in trouble.”
“Wizard!” the King bellowed.
Wizard Watchit came running down from his tower.
“There’s too much water in the moat,” announced the King. “Do something before it floods the castle.”
“What shall I do?”
“I don’t know!” the King said. “You’re the wizard! You must have a spell for this sort of thing. Off you go and sort it out!”
The Wizard tramped back up the stairs to his tower. He felt very annoyed with the King.
“First he’s rude about my bridge,” he complained to the ghost who lived in his tower, “and then he expects me to empty his moat for him! I don’t know any spells to empty moats. There’s no mention of moats in my spell book.”
“Woo woo woo?” the ghost suggested.
“Yes, I suppose I could make one up,” said the Wizard grumpily. He thought for a few seconds. “How about this?”
“Eye of newt and toad of frog,
It’s like falling off a log.
Custard Castle’s moat of water,
Start behaving like you ought ter.”
“Woo woo woo,” said the ghost doubtfully.
“What do you mean, that’s awful? It’s good enough for that stupid King.”
And Wizard Watchit went to the window and shouted his new spell at the moat.
The moat began to bubble and froth. Clouds of steam rose from it.
“See?” said Wizard Watchit as the steam cleared. “It’s worked.”
“Woo...” The ghost stared down.
The spell had worked all right. The moat wasn’t full of water any more.
It was full of something thick and gloopy, and as yellow as a dandelion.
It was full of custard.